Tag: Maya Angelou

No Place Like Home

My friend and I were having an interesting conversation yesterday about what feels like “home.” My friend is a recent transplant to her town in Florida and while she loves it, she’s not sure if it feels like “home” yet. I’ve lived in Florida for thirteen years now, the longest I’ve lived anywhere in my adult life, and sometimes I’m not even sure if it feels like “home.” If I’m honest, there were times I didn’t feel at “home” even in my own hometown. Truthfully, there are even times that I haven’t felt at home in my own skin. It got me to thinking that “home” isn’t really a place. “Home” is more of a feeling of security, comfort, acceptance, wholeness, belonging, peace of mind, and connection. We intuitively know we are “home” when we feel that perfect mix of these feelings all at once, wherever we happen to be, and with whomever we happen to be with. Yesterday, I felt perfectly “at home” with my dear friend.

I watched an adorable video this morning of a little girl belting out a song from the Disney movie, Frozen at a Waffle House. She was singing and dancing and along with her, a wonderful Waffle House employee was singing and dancing with equal dramatics and enthusiasm. They interviewed the little girl’s mother on the video, and she was gushing about this particular Waffle House. The little girl’s mother said that she and her friends think that it should be called “Waffle Home” instead of “Waffle House.”

We all know that distinction between “house” and “home.” A house shelters us, but a home nourishes us. A house is somewhere to stay, but a home is somewhere to heal. A house can be amazingly grand and perfect in every way, but if it is missing those essential ingredients of warmth and well-being, it’s just a lovely structure. Sometimes we go somewhere we’ve never been and we feel instantly “at home”. This just seems to prove that “home” is something that we carry with us.

We all have heard the adage, “Home is where the heart is.” When we reach middle age and beyond, our hearts have been stretched to many places, to many experiences, to many people, at many different stages of life. Maybe it’s harder to feel “at home” when pieces of your heart are spread all over the wide map of your own one life.

We all can agree, when we do feel “at home”, there is no better feeling. The people, places, animals and experiences which make us feel at home are the best gifts in life.

“Where we love is home – home that our feet may leave, but not our hearts.” – Oliver Wendell Holmes, Sr.

“The ache for home lives in all of us, the safe place where we can go as we are and not be questioned.” – Maya Angelou

“When you finally go back to your old home, you find it wasn’t the old home you missed but your childhood.” – Sam Ewing

“Where thou art, that is home.” -Emily Dickinson

“God is at home, it’s we who have gone out for a walk.” – Meister Eckhart

“One never reaches home, but wherever friendly paths intersect the whole world looks like home for a time.” – Hermann Hesse

“Home is the nicest word there is.” – Laura Ingalls Wilder

Are you passing on love or are you passing on pain? Heal your pain and pass on love.

Here is the question of the day from 3000 Questions About Me:

1344. How would you explain your basic life philosophy?

Adventure Time

I listened to an interesting podcast the other day when a counselor was saying that people often come to her with concerns and anxieties about their milestone birthdays. Her clients often seem to feel really upset if they think that a milestone birthday is nearing, and they haven’t completed the proverbial, rigid checklist of things that they feel they should have accomplished by such-and-such milestone. Her clients often seem to feel anxious about fitting it all in, into a neat little package with a pretty bow. The counselor said that she reminds her clients that these are silly, undue pressures which we put on ourselves with arbitrary/one-size-fits all dates and goal posts. While it is good to have goals, it is also good to be flexible about our goals, and to allow for our own individuality, and for unforeseen detours. Also, she said that if you have a milestone birthday coming up, say in the next three years, remind yourself about just how much life happens in a small span of three years. You have a lot of time in between milestone birthdays to live and to experience life. If you feel like your life isn’t going anywhere, and you are stuck, start at March of 2020 when the pandemic shutdown happened and think of all of what has happened in your own life from that moment, until now. Write down all of the happenings, the new relationships that came along, the job situations, events celebrated and experienced with loved ones, the day trips and the vacations, the ups and the downs, the changes in the structure of your daily life, etc. – all of that happened in only about three and a half years. And remember, not one of us could have planned for a pandemic to happen exactly when and how it did, and nor for the ramifications of that pandemic. Even with all of the slowdowns and haltings that this pandemic created, look at all of the life that you have lived in just three years! In between milestone birthdays is a period of ten years. A lot of life is packed in-between milestone birthdays. In short, the counselor was saying that it is best to view our milestone birthdays as just passing mile markers along the way (mile markers we were lucky to arrive to, still alive and vital and raring to go). And when we feel we aren’t accomplishing everything that we wanted to accomplish by a certain time period, it is helpful to look back and to remind ourselves about just how much we have accomplished and handled and experienced in a relatively short amount of time. When we do this, we can look forward into our futures knowing that this multitude of life’s happenings will continue on and on and on, until it is time for our ending day. While our time on earth is limited and we will probably not get to everything that we’d like to experience, what truly counts is the daily journey. Isn’t it better to be relaxed, and to be hopeful, and to be faithful, and to enjoy the ride as we move on down the roads of our own individual journeys, enjoying the travel, and the people, and the scenery along the way, instead of spending our time worrying and hand wringing about what life will look like at milepost 40, 50, 60, 70 or 80?? As Maya Angelou said, “Life is pure adventure.” And adventures are set in their own time and in their own ways, with lots of surprises and unexpected curveballs. The Cambridge dictionary defines adventure in this way: “an unusual, exciting, and possibly dangerous activity, trip, or experience, or the excitement produced by such activities.” I didn’t see anything in there about specific activities and timelines and accomplishments, did you?

Are you passing on love or are you passing on pain? Heal your pain and pass on love.

Monday – Funday

Credit: @woofknight, X

Isn’t the cooler weather wonderful?! After such a hot summer, it’s like diving into a cool, refreshing, clear pool of water.

How’s everyone doing? This was a tough weekend. I’m feeling that universal, low-lying, but seeping in kind of stress in the air, like we had when the pandemic first started. And when you have that kind of permeance of uneasiness, swirling all around you, it sort of punctuates your own individual stresses, doesn’t it? Whatever helps you with stress and concern in your mind and in your body and in your spirit, is your own “toolbox.” Don’t forget to open your toolbox, and to use and to utilize your own helpful “tools.” (exercise, prayer, meditation, music, friendships, nature, healthy, wholesome meals, crying, release, easy chores, funny shows etc.) Also, use this as a time to find and to test new, healthy tools to help ease your stress during eventful times.

“Every one of us is, in the cosmic perspective, precious. If a human disagrees with you, let him live. In a hundred billion galaxies, you will not find another.”
– Carl Sagan

“If we have no peace, it is because we have forgotten that we belong to each other.” – Mother Teresa

“For me, forgiveness and compassion are always linked: how do we hold people accountable for wrongdoing and yet at the same time remain in touch with their humanity enough to believe in their capacity to be transformed?”– bell hooks

“Humanity is good. Some people are terrible and broken, but humanity is good. I believe that.” – Hank Green


“We cannot despair of humanity, since we ourselves are human beings.” – Albert Einstein

“You must not lose faith in humanity. Humanity is an ocean; if a few drops of the ocean are dirty, the ocean does not become dirty.” – Mahatma Ghandi

“During bad circumstances, which is the human inheritance, you must decide not to be reduced. You have your humanity, and you must not allow anything to reduce that. We are obliged to know we are global citizens. Disasters remind us we are world citizens, whether we like it or not.” – Maya Angelou

Are you passing on love or are you passing on pain? Heal your pain and pass on love.

Believe Them

I was reminded of Maya Angelou’s great wisdom the other day, “When people show you who they are, believe them.” We sometimes think that these wisdoms only apply to our intimate relationships – romantic, familial, friendships, or our working relationships, but they also have to do with whom you hire to do things for you.

My husband is the executor of his mother’s will, and he called a few different recommended estate attorneys to get a feel for what was required for the process in her state. He felt good about the conversation which he had with the one attorney, and he decided to proceed with utilizing this attorney’s services. But soon after, the attorney and his associates started dropping the ball. Phone calls and email messages were not being answered in a timely manner. An appointment was missed. Despite a late evening phone call full of (probably legitimate) excuses, my husband decided that this was not a business relationship that he felt good about. The attorney showed my husband that he was “stretched too thin”, and my husband believed him.

I told my husband that he was fortunate that the lawyer showed him “who he was” this early on. This happened to us previously with a rental manager who was to be in charge of our home in North Carolina when we first moved to Florida. When the rental manager disappeared for a 5-day birthday party without any warning (the man was in his fifties), we knew that it was time to cut bait and we again, thanked the Universe for the favor of quickly showing us that this was someone who we could not rely on.

Neither of these men are “bad” people and perhaps more laid back people than my husband and I, would work well with these gentlemen. I don’t know. The bottom line is that when you immediately face the reality of a situation, and you face the reality of your own needs and boundaries in situations, you save yourself and others a lot of trouble and heartache by facing, and then living in your truth. Trust your gut, even when it is telling you something that you don’t want to hear, or to know. Be thankful when someone shows you their red flags early on. Forewarned is forearmed. When people show you who they are, believe them.

Are you passing on love or are you passing on pain? Heal your pain and pass on love.

Exhibits

I have to get out early this morning for some appointments, so today, I am going to share some gems, from one of my treasure troves of other people’s thoughts which have sparked thought and reflection in me. I have always said that I wanted this blog to be a small museum of thoughts/ideas/reflections/perspectives. These might make for some good journal prompts for your own writing?! Here are some exhibits:

“You couldn’t heal because you kept pretending you weren’t hurt.” – Wise Connector, Twitter

“The saddest aspect of life now is that science gathers knowledge faster than society gathers wisdom.” – Isaac Asimov

“Whatever it is you are seeking, won’t come in the form you are expecting.” – Haruki Murakami

“If you are always trying to be normal, you will never know how amazing you can be.” – Maya Angelou

“A bird sitting on a tree is never afraid of the branch breaking, because its trust is not on the branch, but on its own wings.” – Native Red Cloud, Twitter

“Time you enjoyed wasting, was not wasted.” – John Lennon

“Raise your words, not voice. It is rain that grows flowers, not thunder.”– Rumi

Are you passing on love or are you passing on pain? Heal your pain and pass on love.

Soul Sunday

Are you passing on love or are you passing on pain? Heal your pain and pass on love.

Good morning. My regular readers know that Sundays are devoted to poetry on the blog. Poetry says things like no other form writing can. It evokes imagery, emotion, and thoughtfulness and it reminds us of our inner wisdom and power. I found a collection of excellent famous poems about the strength of women to share on the blog this morning. I think that this is apropos for this time period in history, don’t you? My belief is that our biggest superpower which all of we women possess is that we are continually underestimated. Tsk. Tsk. Tsk.

“We don’t dare to appreciate her
We don’t care to her feelings,
Nor her dreams.
She swallows her pride
To serve us might.” – Penpal

“You may shoot me with your words,
You may cut me with your eyes,
You may kill me with your hatefulness,
But still, like air, I’ll rise.” – Maya Angelou

“But there’s wisdom in women, of more than they have known,
And thoughts go blowing through them, are wiser than their own.” -Rupert Brooke

poem by Nikita Gill

The One You Need to Forgive

“My love, if the mistakes you made in the past no longer represent who you are now, it’s safe to forgive yourself.” – Valencia, Twitter

If you have learned from your mistakes, and you have changed your ways, then you have used these gifts and lessons from the Divine to turn this world into a better place. You have inspired others to do the same by your beautiful example. What could be more sacred than that? The people who have taught me the most about changing bad habits, or changing unhelpful thought/relational patterns, are people who have walked hard, narrow roads before me, climbing the rocks of integrity and candor, with their brutal self honesty. Their brave actions, which support their clear, honest words, are more inspiring to me, than any lecture I have ever received from a gilded, coddled, protected cocoon.

Forgive yourself. You are the only one left who needs to do this. Everyone else (every One) who matters, has already forgiven you. Have you ever thought about the fact that by overcoming your own transgressions and by inspiring others to do the same, you might be an important part of the Divine plan to lift this world to a higher plane? You are a beautiful example of evolution and elevation. Take off the cloak of shame, now. Forgive yourself.

Forgive yourself for the bad decisions you made, for the times you lacked understanding, for the choices t… | Choices quotes, Forgive yourself quotes, Wisdom quotes
42 Forgive Yourself Quotes | Self Forgiveness Quotes images – tiny Positive

Are you passing on love or are you passing on pain? Heal your pain and pass on love.

Monday – Funday

Are you passing on love or are you passing on pain? Heal your pain and pass on love.

Image

Good morning. This weekend, while also watching a lot of football, I was a tad obsessive, following the Gabby Petito, case. Sadly, the authorities have found her body. As a mother of a young woman, my heart aches for her parents. Her boyfriend, the man whom she was traveling with, has disappeared, and neither he nor his family, did anything to help law enforcement, in their search for Gabby. By all indications, including bodycam footage from a police stop, Gabby and her boyfriend had an unhealthy, abusive relationship. I think that one of the reasons why this case has gotten the amount of attention that it has, is that almost all of us women, know or have known women, who have experienced relationships with toxic, abusive men. When I was younger, I used to “joke” that the more together a woman was in her job, in her appearance, and in her life, was likely a total inverse to the quality of boyfriend that she had in her life. Now that I am older, I realize that this is no joking matter. We must bring attention to the dangers of domestic violence. We must help our young people grow up healthfully, so that they are comfortable in their own skin, and grow to see all relationships, as “a plus, but not a must” in leading healthy, fulfilling lives. We best do this by modeling healthy relationships and behaviors, in the relationships that we have with our own selves, and in the relationships that we have with others.

“Never let someone who contributes so little to a relationship control so much of it.” ― Unknown

“Each time a woman stands up for herself without knowing it possibly, without claiming it, she stands up for all women.” — Maya Angelou

“Overcoming abuse doesn’t just happen, It takes positive steps everyday. Let today be the day you start to move forward.” ― Assunta Harris

A Thought Collection

Sometimes I look at some of my journals which are filled with thoughts that make me ponder, make me feel, make sense to me at a deeper level, and that’s all that is needed. I don’t need to expand on someone else’s genius. I’m just grateful that they shared what needed to be said. Here are some of my favorite latest thoughts, gathered from other brilliant sources:

“He who has peace of mind disturbs neither himself nor another.” – Epicurus

“What some people call stress, I believe is rebellion of the heart.” – Iyanla Vanzant

“Rejection is almost never personal. Though it comes naturally to treat it as though it is a barb aimed at our very being, that instinct is confused, mistaken and does absolutely no good to heed. That reason most rejection is not personal is that it can’t be. Most people don’t even know us well enough to reject us personally. They are usually saying no to a small sliver of what we offer the world. More often than not, the reason they say no is that the offer does not seem like a good fit for them and their needs.

If you are a size 10, you’ll have to pass on the size 3 jeans. Even if the size 3 jeans are the best in the entire world, the jeans are of no use to a person who cannot wear them.” – Holiday Mathis

“With a few flowers in my garden, half a dozen pictures, and some books, I live without envy.” – Lope De Vega

“You can’t use up creativity. The more you use, the more you have.” – Maya Angelou

Are you passing on love or are you passing on pain? Heal your pain and pass on love.