My daughter just texted me, “Are you okay? You’re being weird in the family chat” I answered, “Yes! What do you mean?” Her answer: “Okay good! You’re not liking the messages and are giving one word answers. Just looking out for you.”
I had just gotten up after sleeping in, and I was distracted by everything that I wanted to get done at once. However, I do think that it is a true sign of love and familiarity when people notice your habits and your idiosyncrasies and they notice subtle changes and care enough to ask you if you are alright. It truly is a blessing to have “the noticers” in our lives.
The part that really amuses me, though, is that none of our adult kids found it particularly weird when last night, we sent a video of our Labrador retriever, Ralphie, barking at a FurReal Tiger pet which I had purchased on impulse, at a street festival. I purchased the tiger from two Russian (perhaps Siberian?) ladies who had exotic scarves and jewelry intermingled with several of these tigers. I just couldn’t resist purchasing the tiger. Ralphie was not impressed with my purchase.
I guess being a little quirky and “out there”, and being especially ebullient in my texting, is what “my noticers” have come to expect from me. I hate to disappoint.
Are you passing on love or are you passing on pain? Heal your pain and pass on love.
Here is the question of the day from 3000 Questions About Me:
1419. Do you think there is life on other planets?
Later this evening I will be travelling up to Virginia to reconnect with my seven best friends from college. We used to be really good about having a yearly reunion, but the last time we have had this reunion (or GW as we call it, “Girls Weekend”) was January 2020, when the coronavirus was just this weird virus happening over in China, that none of us knew anything about.
So more than three years later, all eight of us will finally reconvene, in person, again. And I am so excited. I have known these wonderful women for 34 years, since I was 18 years old. Imagine it – eight, 18-year-old ladies, just coming into early adulthood, connecting in college, and sharing funny, crazy college-age adventures together. (and yes, there were other friends along the way, but none of them seem to have “the sticking power” over the three decades that the eight of us magnets seem to have held on to, despite all odds) It is not lost on me, that as I am early entering into this next stage of my adulthood, I will be with seven of the women who helped me to enter into my first stage of adulthood, and who were there to support me, and to moor and anchor me, and to remind me who I am at my core, as I waded into the murky waters of becoming the adult woman, wife, mother, friend, and the overall person who I am today.
As anyone who has lived a life knows, none of us ladies knew what was in store for us, when we launched each other into the first halves of our adulthood. We had inklings. We had dreams. And all eight of us have experienced amazing, wonderful experiences, and also devastating events in our individual lives. This is just the way of life. But what isn’t always the way, is that not everyone has seven constants on their shores. Not everyone has seven giant rocks and pillars of support who have witnessed all of your milestones throughout your entire adulthood. Not everyone has seven people who know you intimately, and have decided to stick with you, and to focus on your lovely qualities and to mostly ignore your flaws. Such kind mirrors, long-time friends can be! Something in our friendship experience feels divine. Something about reconvening with these ladies right at this early empty nest period of my life, feels divine. Why wouldn’t anyone cling to the people and the experiences in your life which feel divine? There are seven strong pillars waiting for me to unite with them. We have survived storms and waves and calm and sunshine and even some battering among ourselves, and no doubt, we will continue to do so. Our shared friendship has withstood the test of time, and I believe that this combined friendship will help to see me (and us) through all of the next set of adventures in this next stage of adulting, and all the way through to the end of our journeys.
Are you passing on love or are you passing on pain? Heal your pain and pass on love.
Credit: Gregorio Catarino, Twitter Photographer of Queen Elizabeth, age 10, in July of 1936 was Lisa Sheridan
RIP – Queen Elizabeth II
“I declare before you all that my whole life, whether it be long or short, shall be devoted to your service and the service of our great imperial family to which we all belong.”
When we judge people, we often forget that we all started out the same, as innocent little children, new to this world and to this living experience. No matter what anyone thinks of the British royals, or of the monarchy, no one can deny Queen Elizabeth’s unwavering commitment to her duties, carried out with a deliberate dignified stoicism, from childhood on. It is difficult not to respect people who are wholly devoted to something bigger than themselves, for their entire lives. It is only when these people pass on, that their constancy and loyalty is fully and truly appreciated.
Happy Friday, friends!! On Fridays, I discuss favorites. Life is an experience and there are so many wonderful things to experience in a lifetime. My favorite for today is Karen Nimmo who is a clinical psychologist and writer from New Zealand. She has so many practical, no-nonsense self-help tips in her articles, her 4-minute therapy sessions on Facebook, and in her books. I always glean helpful wisdom whenever I take the time to read one of her articles or to watch one of her short videos (plus I delight in listening to her wonderful Kiwi accent). Her blog on medium can be found here: https://medium.com/on-the-couch And her Facebook videos can be found here: https://www.facebook.com/KarenNimmoPsychology (I see that she has already posted a video about grieving people whom you don’t even know, such as for Queen Elizabeth)
Have a wonderful, restoring weekend, friends!!!
Are you passing on love or are you passing on pain? Heal your pain and pass on love.
Are you passing on love or are you passing on pain? Heal your pain and pass on love.
The Wise Connector on Twitter today asked his followers to answer this “question”:
Name ONE brand you are loyal to.
It was interesting to read the responses because many answers were international, so I wasn’t familiar with some of the items listed. Many people listed particular car makers, Apple was listed a few times, there were some Coke votes, and also some Pepsi votes and many people listed their favorite toothpastes (albeit, all different brands). I did a quick inventory of my own go-to brand loyalty items and here are a few items that came to the top of my head right away:
Ford trucks, Ponds cold cream, Jif peanut butter, Advil ibuprofen (I believe that the brand is better than the generic is this case), SmartMouth mouthwash, Sensodyne toothpaste (preferably the British version that has Novamin – you can by this in bulk on Amazon), Illy coffee, Viva cloth-like paper towels, Mid’s tomato sauce, Heinz ketchup, Wet-n-Wild black liquid eyeliner, Discover credit cards, Chase bank
I am sure that there are a handful of other items that I am brand loyal to, but these items, which I listed above, are items in which I am extraordinarily particular about the brand. Bonanza-like sales and discounts could not veer me off course from these distinct brands. (and I’m a girl who likes a bargain) This little exercise got me to thinking about why we become loyal to particular brands. Most items that we like best, have a distinction about them, that is hard to duplicate. Sometimes this distinction is so subtle that it is even hard to define. But this distinction becomes our preference, which translates into our loyalty. Interestingly, our loyalty is not always created because we find the product superior. Sometimes we feel an affinity for the company and its principles. One follower of the Wise Connector mentioned that he will always be loyal to Nordstrom department stores because when he was young, and he only had $17 to spend for a dress shirt for an interview, the clerks at Nordstrom, nevertheless, treated him like he was a king. I, myself, feel fondly about Ford, because the Ford trucks which we have purchased throughout the years, in order to carry our large brood all over the place, have always been reliable, comfortable, solid, safe, roomy and relatively inexpensive to repair. In times when our family funds were low, we could always rely on our Ford Expeditions to get us to where we needed to go. We have a lot of beautiful family memories, driving these trucks to sporting events and to vacations and to colleges and to visits to our family and friends. My husband and I now can afford the luxury vehicles which we currently drive, and we certainly enjoy them, but just like now, we will probably always have a random Ford truck sitting in our driveway, reminding us of our roots, and the reliability of a solid American ingenuity that was a huge factor, in raising our family. Along these lines, Heinz ketchup is special to me because I grew up in Pittsburgh, PA. The Heinz pickle factory sign is iconic there. I do believe that Heinz ketchup tastes better than any other ketchup there is, but I am not sure if this is because I was raised with the affinity for the actual product, or because of my fondness of what Heinz means to my hometown. It’s probably a mix of both reasons, but regardless I am totally loyal to Heinz ketchup only.
What products are you loyal to in your life? Why? I wonder if this train of thought can be expanded to all sorts of loyalties. It is interesting to become conscious of our loyalties to the different people, places and things in our lives. Why are we so fiercely loyal to these particulars? Do these people, places and things deserve our loyalty? Are we loyal to ourselves?
Also, there are certain brands which we swear off for the rest our lives, in an opposite sense of loyalty, due to a negative experience with the brand. My husband will never again purchase anything from Best Buy, due to the way that they treated us unfairly, by not honoring a warranty on a computer. This isn’t exactly disloyalty, but more a loyalty to our own self-worth and to our own higher principles.
How special it is to have qualities that make others feel loyal to you. There are so many different people, and places and things in the world. The choices are endless. How truly special it is, to have a loyal following, a loyal lover, a loyal friend, a loyal pet, a loyal God. Loyalty is often earned. How wonderful that you have earned some loyalty in your life! This loyalty to you says that you have something special, that the others just don’t have. This loyalty to you, says that you have some beautiful distinctions that set you apart, and make you amazing and intrinsically different and interesting from the rest. This loyalty to you says that you have made people feel good about being with you. You have made a difference in their lives. This loyalty to you says that those who are loyal to you, want you in their lives for always. You fill something in them, that no one else can. Treasure this loyalty. It’s more rare than we think. It’s precious.
On that note, I have had loyal readers since I started this blog over three years ago. Thank you from the bottom of my heart, for your loyalty. It does not got unnoticed. I appreciate you, and I intend to continue to earn your loyalty with my steadfastness, reliability and authenticity and love.
I couldn’t sleep. I am writing this in the wee, wee hours of the night, or perhaps, I am writing this is in the early morning. I’m not sure. I haven’t even looked at the clock. As Thanksgiving is beckoning us, right around the corner, I find myself bathed in gratitude. Our children, the ones who still “live” with us, are all safely tucked into their beds, under our one roof. I know that our eldest son, though grown and far away, is safe and content. We texted each other a few times today. I know that I am loved. I am so fortunate to have cherished family, and friends, and pets, and I have you, my treasured readers. Now, I realize that a lot of my readers are also my known family and friends (whose loyalty I am utterly grateful for – I love you so much. Thank you.), but I also understand that a lot of you, my precious readers, are people who I have never, ever met in my “real” life, yet I treasure you. Know this. I treasure you. I feel so much purpose in writing this blog every single day, and the fact that you actually take precious time out of your days to read my blog, means the world to me. Know this. I treasure that fact. I treasure you.
The seasonal winter holidays are here. In some ways, that is a wonderful thing. In some ways, that it is also a hard thing. With the holidays, comes a lot of nostalgia. Some people love nostalgia. I don’t, really. Nostalgia is something that I can only take in small doses. Some people love to pour over old pictures and videos and memory books. I honestly don’t like to do too much of those activities. My feelings run deep. And Nostalgia is a heady stew of spiced up feelings that proves to be too much for me, when served in heaping bowls. I like spoonfuls of nostalgia, here and there. Spoonfuls or smatterings of nostalgia are enough for me. Otherwise, I mostly try to stay in the moment. I know that the every day moments (the moments, that surprisingly often, end up being the game changer moments in life) will continue to pile up into a big pile of nostalgia in the memory bank of my heart, which I will always be able to spoon off of, whenever needed. Just a smattering, please.
If you are like me, and the holidays are great in some ways, but in other ways, the holidays can be a sensory overload, I promise to be steadfast. I promise to write this blog every single day throughout the holidays, unless I can no longer think, nor write. Even if you don’t like what I write, you can always rely on me. I am a rock in your life. What else is steadfast and loyal in your life? Even if you don’t have steadfast and loyal family, friends and pets, then you definitely have the sun, and the moon, and the stars, and nature, and music, and institutions like clean water and electricity and mail and garbage pick-up, and your place of peace or worship, and your library, and Google and Amazon and Walmart and McDonalds. You have God, and you have the angels. You do. You don’t have to believe it, but you do.
The holidays are steadfast. They come every single year, no matter what kind of year it has been for us, personally or communally. There is something to be said for that – there is something to be said for those people, places and things, that you can always rely on to be there, no matter what. Loyalty and steadfastness are beautiful traits. You have given these honorable gifts to me, my loyal and steadfast readers, and thus I give them back to you, with earnest respect and a brimming, grateful heart. I am here for you. Check in here, every single day of the holiday season, and just breathe. Know that you are loved and know that you are appreciated, because you are, by me. You are not alone. Thank you, always, for your presence and your attention. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.
“Make new friends but keep the old, one is silver and the other gold.” – Girl Scout song (in honor of the fact that it is Girl Scout cookie time – YAY!)
My husband and I went to a few new restaurants this weekend and they were all a bust. These were local establishments that were on our “List to Try” and since it was a relatively unscheduled three-day weekend, we were eager to give them a try. Not one of them made it on the list “To Go to Again.” It became almost a comedy of how bad it could get. I kept looking to see if there were cameras pointed in our direction, like we were on one of those Candid Camera type shows. Servers not showing up to the table and when they finally came, due to our exaggerated flagging them down, they acted like they were doing us a huge favor by writing down our orders. At one restaurant, my husband ordered a beer. It came out flat and tasted like fruit juice. He asked for a different one. It came out the same style. He finally ordered a canned beer to be on the safe side and it was full of ice. We went to brunch yesterday and my chicken fried steak basically had a cold can of Campbell’s Cream of Mushroom soup plopped unceremoniously on top of it. And this restaurant had pictures of John Travolta and Samuel L. Jackson on the wall, proving their visit! These establishments all had decent Yelp scores.
Do you ever feel like you are carrying some kind of strange energy that is coming with you wherever you go? By yesterday, I would have been more surprised if our brunch cafe would have turned out to be good and tasty. Sometimes I feel cursed by my need to adventure. Sometimes I feel envious of people who have the routine of going to their established favorites all of the time, whether it be restaurants, vacations, stores, etc. Maybe these people are better at owning what they like and knowing that their expectations will be met, at the places where they are loyal customers. I wish I didn’t get bored so easily. I have a huge fear of “ruts.” Maybe the price to pay for the need of novelty, is going through a lot of rocks before you find a gem. And while searching for new gems, it is probably best not to forget the special gems that you have found before and every once in a while, remember to go back to the old gems to appreciate their steadfast gleam.
“Develop the wings of loyalty and you will fly above the dooms of disappointments.” – Israelmore Ayivor
