Tag: life

The Cord

****Happy Birthday, A! I love you with all of my heart. I’m so proud of you. <3 (No more teenagers in the house.)

When you have children, you want to pour everything that you have into them – your love, your time, your presence, your resources, your hopes, your wisdom, your strength, your intuition . . . . .You want to keep the hardy stream, flowing from the umbilical cord, even though it has long been cut. And then sometimes you get glimpses that your children have incorporated everything that you had to give them into their own selves and yet also they have aspects of themselves that you just can’t help but marvel at, and you know that these added gifts come from a Source so much greater than just you. And then you feel so instantly proud, secure, grateful, and full of awe and amazement. You know that your own cord is just one of the cords that has been, and will forever be, the channel of goodness to your precious children, and your only prayer is that they accept all of the love – all of it, especially the Love which is unfathomably, even greater than your own.

Are you passing on love or are you passing on pain? Heal your pain and pass on love.

Here is the question of the day from 3000 Questions About Me:

741. What can people count on you for?

Thursday’s Thoughts

+ The world’s annual happiness reports came out recently and for the first time the United States did not make the top 20. The nordic countries always seem to be at the top of the list. I’ve only been to one nordic country, and it was Iceland. Iceland is easily the most peaceful place that I have ever been in my lifetime. I kept commenting on it, during our time there. It was so quiet, serene, and beautiful. I felt so safe and at ease while I was there. Maybe our country is too addicted to drama. I don’t know. I just hope, as a whole, we can start clearing the path to the things which really universally matter to the majority of all beings.

+ I spent some time this morning looking at what Elon Musk’s Neuralink was able to do for a quadriplegic man in just its preliminary stages. And I just saw a headline about a pig kidney transplant being successful in a patient for the first time. I really do believe that we are on the cusp of a whole new world, in so many ways. I have that feeling in my stomach that you get before a big move or a big trip or a big life change. It’s a mix of nervous energy, excitement, fear, wonder, hope and anxiety all swirling together. I don’t like to hold this feeling for long periods of time. It’s not sustainable. So then that’s when the sweet remedy of curiosity and surrender turns out to be the best balm to soothe any overstimulation and worry.

+ I read an article that spoke of one of the major factors to Taylor Swift’s success is the fact that she always over-delivers. She doesn’t sit on her laurels. Her fans always believe that they get their money’s worth from her and she has shown them that they are absolutely worth her highest effort in everything that she does. There is no better feeling than being happily surprised with an item purchased, an enthralling experience that beats your expectations, and/or feeling completely valued and appreciated for your time, attention and money. It all comes down to trying never to take anything or anybody for granted.

+ Yesterday, I was doing one of my least favorite jobs, cleaning up dog do. I was lost in thought, going through the motions (while holding my breath), when something inside of me said, “Hey, stop, sit awhile and just be.” And so I sat by the small lake in our backyard for about five or ten minutes, and in that little amount of time, I got the realization of just how much life buzzes, in one small moment, in one small place, at any one time. In that moment, with my bare feet in the soft, luxurious grass, I witnessed all sizes of fishes swimming near the shore, two hawks doing some kind of aerial show in the air, a turtle blowing bubbles in the water, new spring blooms on my irises, the sound of an owl hooting in the woods, and an anole thrusting out his bright red bulbous throat as dragonflies whizzed by. And all of this happened as the warm sun tickled all of us, and a light breeze sustained us and lifted the mood. Life teems. Life is incredible.

Are you passing on love or are you passing on pain? Heal your pain and pass on love.

Here is the question of the day from 3000 Questions About Me:

848. Do you have an expansive vocabulary?

Values

The last three weeks or so, I have been completely off of my normal, regular routine schedule. I’ve had a marvelous, fun and productive time, but I’m feeling pretty fried. I overheard someone say, “I need to catch up with myself.” That words it perfectly. I need to slow down and catch up with myself. If you don’t give yourself these slower, regular scheduled times to assimilate everything that you’ve experienced, you start just going through the motions, and you start behaving like a zombie. At least, this is my experience. I am someone who craves a fair amount of solitude and I’ve been starved of solitude for a while now. This morning I am being nourished by solitude and I feel myself “catching up with myself”. As an extroverted introvert, solitude is what plugs me into my replenishing energy source. I feel myself getting charged back up.

I listened to a podcast the other day, and one of the participants, Jessica Lanyandoo said this: “Happiness comes as a direct result of living in accord with our values. When you are living in a self-appropriate way, you’re happy. I mean, I’m not saying you’re giddy. But (living in accord with our values) is what leads to authentic happiness, inner peace (and) inner balance.”

It’s so true, isn’t it? Often what we say what we value, is not what we are showing the world what we are valuing. We can say that we value family time, but in reality, we are spending most of our time trying to climb the corporate ladder. We can say that we value health, but we get take-out for dinner every night. We can say that we value peace, but we allow ourselves to get caught-up in online drama and arguments. We can say that we value financial security, but we get ourselves into debt in order to “keep up with the Joneses.” A good exercise to get back into alignment with your own values is to quickly, and off-the-cuff, without thinking too much, list 5-10 core values that you deem the most important for yourself, in your own life. (and do this activity privately. Be honest. List your own true values. Do not list what you think that you should value, based on the judgments of others. No one will see this list.) Then, rank these values in order of importance to you. Finally, look at this list of what you believe are the most important elements in your life, and get brutally honest with yourself if you are truly living in accordance to your own values. Is where you spend the majority of your time, energy, attention, and money, truly in line with what you deeply value? If you are not experiencing mostly happiness, inner peace and inner balance, why is this? When you look at where you are spending the preponderance of your time and energy and mindspace, is this in true alignment with your core values? What’s pinging you to change? What area or areas in your own life, are asking you to steer the ship in a different direction, in order to get us back to your own true north?

Our values are what define us. Our values are what give us purpose in living our lives. Our values speak to what we think is most worthy in our life experience. If we are not living up to our own values, we know. We feel the negative emotions that are trying to get us back on track to our core truths. If we live in alignment with our deepest values, we generally feel peace. “Happiness comes as a direct result of living in accord with our values.”

Are you passing on love or are you passing on pain? Heal your pain and pass on love.

Here is the question of the day from 3000 Questions About Me:

1604. What do you think is the most dangerous profession in the whole world?

Absolute Truth & The Four Hour Rule

 “All things in this world, including ourselves, are aggregate sums of atoms, which are made up of rotating electrons. The ultimate history of mankind is moving toward a happy ending for people of all races. The Earth, the galaxy, and the universe all rotate. In other words, I think rotation is the absolute truth. So as long as I’m thinking about pi, I think I can live a life according to truth.” – From the Morning Brew quoting Akira Haraguchi who is the first person to recite 100,000 digits of Pi

Happy Pi Day!! I believe in the truth. I believe that we are headed towards the happy ending for all people. Let’s all just make sure that we are rotating in the right direction.

Yesterday was our annual termite inspection day. Recently we figured out that we have lived in our current home for ten years which is longer than we have lived in any home in the entirety of our married life (and is also why I should be currently cleaning the damn clutter out instead of writing my blog). Anyway, our termite inspection guy is a nice, older chatty guy who, since around 2019, has told us his fondest good-byes, mentioning that he won’t see us next year because he plans to retire. But of course, this same guy showed up at my door yesterday to inspect our house for termites (none, thank goodness) and of course, I teased him. And as usual, as I followed him around the house, as he put a flashlight on to every nook and cranny (and I cringed, embarrassed by the dust), we chatted. Our chat was mostly about “the what nexts” of retirement. I’ll call our inspection guy “M” from here on out. M told me that he really does want to retire, so he has made some, what he considers to be, outlandish demands on his company, like no more Saturday jobs, and that he has to be done inspecting by 2:30. The company keeps happily meeting his demands.

“M, this means that they really love and respect you! They appreciate you. They don’t want you to leave,” is what I said.

And he nodded, looking both proud and sheepish at the same time. “It’s hard for me, ya know,” he said. “There is still that young competitive guy inside of me who wants to be the best in the office, at every facet of the game.”

“M, maybe you just need to change your mindset a little bit,” I said gently. “Maybe there comes a time when we stop the climb, climb, climb, and we turn around, and we become the elders who reach back our hands to help show the youngers the way. Maybe it becomes our job to make the climb a little bit easier for those who are coming up behind us, and pushing them along to surpass what we were able to do. And just maybe, by doing this act of passing on the wisdom, knowledge, and confidence to our younger successors, this is really the true pinnacle of our careers, and of all of the success that we have had in our careers. And maybe we also have to show them that it is possible to leave the game, and to go on to do other things.”

M looked at me thoughtfully, like he wanted to agree, but he is clearly still in a state of flux, thinking everything out before he makes his true retirement move. He did tell me that he is clearly thinking out how he would spend his time if he retires, by checking out local gyms, buying an electric bike, and turning his garage into a mancave. M told me that he didn’t want to ruin his successful, many decades long marriage, in his golden retirement years. M said that the reason why his marriage is so successful is because they took advice that he got from his cousin many years ago. She called it “the four hour rule.” She told M to never spend more than four hours at a time with each other, without taking a break, (sleeping is not included) throughout their marriage, and they will live happily ever after. His cousin reminded him that most major arguments in marriages happen on the weekends, or on vacations and holidays. Couples rarely argue during the week, when they spend just about four hours together in the evening, eating dinner together, talking about their days, and then perhaps watching a show before heading to bed.

Since 2019, when the inspections have been over, I have shook M’s hand and wished him well in his retirement, thanking him for his excellent service throughout the years. This time I didn’t do it. We both laughed when I told him that I’d probably see him again next year. But when I closed my door, I felt a little lump in my throat. This time did feel different. I’m pretty sure that it will be a different person doing the inspection next year. I felt a mix of resignation/excitement/planfulness in M’s demeanor this go around, that told me that M is now truly ready to take his next steps into a truly different stage of his life. And who’s to say what will be happening in my own life at this time next year? Will we still be at this house? Whatever does all happen, I do know is this: M, and me, and everyone else in this world, are ultimately all rotating towards the absolute truth . . . . . and this is all that really matters.

Are you passing on love or are you passing on pain? Heal your pain and pass on love.

Here is the question of the day from 3000 Questions About Me:

1762. What do you consider yourself an expert at?

Soul Sunday

Good morning. Welcome to poetry day on the blog. I love Sundays. Sunday is the “breathe out deeply” day of the week. Whatever happened during the week, take in the good stuff and let go of the rest. Settle yourself with ease and prepare yourself for the fresh new start of a beautiful new week. Write a poem today. Poetry helps with the process of letting go. Poetry helps with the process of going within. Poetry helps to reach deeper meaning and understanding. You are worth a poem today. You are worth a poem everyday. Here is my own poem for today:

The most beautiful souls in the world

Are experts at giving away

What they once so desperately needed.

They figured out how to harvest

What was deeply implanted inside

And they grew it, and as it flowered with fruit,

With the help of other kindred souls,

They pried open the doors,

and they let it all flow out,

To help cleanse the world of its pain.

Are you passing on love or are you passing on pain? Heal your pain and pass on love.

Here is the question of the day from 3000 Questions About Me:

1732. What is/was your blessing in disguise?

Unplug Friday

“Good morning. Tonight kicks off the Global Day of Unplugging, an annual event that encourages people to put down their screens and take part in real-life gatherings or a “meaningful conversation.”Yeah…here’s how that might go:
Hours 1–3: Chill
4–7: Getting shaky
8–12: Asking strangers for updates on Kate Middleton
13–15: Talking to yourself in a mirror and pretending it’s a Zoom meeting
16–19: Shouting tweets from your fire escape
20–22: Pressing buttons on your microwave to fill the silence
23: Acceptance
Good luck!”—Matty Merritt, Molly Liebergall, Cassandra Cassidy, Adam Epstein, Neal Freyman

Happy Friday!! Happy Favorite Things Friday!! The above selection is from my favorite for today, the “Morning Brew.” My friend told me about it and “Morning Brew” has become my new favorite source to get my news, by a long shot. (I still like “1440” and “Daily Skimm”, as well, which I have mentioned in my Favorite Things Friday posts previously) Another favorite for political news is “Tangle” which goes out of its way to be unbiased. At the very least, “Tangle” gives both sides of the story, by offering up what liberal leaning sources are saying about a political happening and than also, what conservative leaning sources are saying about the same happening. I like a news source that respects my ability to think for myself, and to make up my own mind about the state of affairs in our country and around the world.

The Global Day of Unplugging is probably a worthy challenge, right? It is scary how dependent we have become on our phones and our other technology. The other day, I was just driving over to my local Walgreens, which is about five minutes away from my home, to pick up a prescription. I realized that I had forgotten to bring my iPhone and I almost had a panic attack. (and I wish that this were an exaggeration) Then, I had to sit in a line at the drive-through, and I got so incredibly antsy because I had no form of entertainment. It was one of those nasty self-realization moments that I might be teetering a little bit, on phone addiction.

Even if you keep your phone in hand, this weekend, find a way to unplug. I’ve been noticing that in my own life lately, I go from feast to famine, and then back to feast, when it comes to the “busy-ness” in my life. I “go-go-go”, get exhausted and finally crash, and then I head right back into a “go-go-go” period. This is not what I had envisioned for my empty nest. I have to find a way to stay more “even keel”. I have to be more planful and practical. Unplug time should not be only for when you are so tired, that you just want to crash. Unplug time should be about keeping the balance, versus “the yo-yo of go-go.”

Have a great weekend! Stay in the center of the see-saw! See you tomorrow.

Are you passing on love or are you passing on pain? Heal your pain and pass on love.

Here is the question of the day from 3000 Questions About Me:

2228. How do you like your eggs?

Soul Sunday

Hi friends. I’m leaving on another little adventure. I may write every day, or I may not. (I’ll keep you posted. 😉 ) At the very least, I’ll be back in full form by the end of the week. Sundays are devoted to poetry. Today, I felt a little “rhyme-y”. Write a poem today, just because you can . . . . Here is my poem for the day:

There is nothing that will make you feel more like a child,

Bringing you back to your natural whimsy and wild,

Than planning a trip, an adventure, an impromptu lark,

And feeling the giddy frenzy right before you embark.

Perhaps the most exciting trip anyone of us has every planned,

Was the one that we have right here, in this place, in our hand.

Life is a journey that sometimes feels long and banal,

But if we look at it closely, its length is quite small.

So open each day with the thrill of the new,

Unpack all of your baggage, and enjoy and pursue.

Make the most of your days, as if they were your vacation.

Before you know it, your adventure will reach its culmination.

Every exciting experience always ends, this we know,

So, in the meantime, make it amazing, every inch that you go.

Are you passing on love or are you passing on pain? Heal your pain and pass on love.

Here is the question of the day from 3000 Questions About Me:

624. What word or phrase do you use too much?

Seeds and Shoes

 “All is temporary. Any effort to acquire or cling to things will be tempered by this wisdom. Accept the fleeting nature of ownership and make room for happiness with the things, people and time you have.” – Holiday Mathis

“I know when I buy something, fashion needs to speak to me emotionally. I look for a shoe that represents my individuality and personal style.” – Libby, from Sam & Libby shoe company

This past weekend I found out that one of my favorite “little town” stores was going out of business. I felt a little gut-punched and soul-crushed to be honest. I think that my husband, who was with me as we happened upon their unexpected going-out-of-business sale, was concerned that I might burst out in tears, in front of the other shoppers, digging through the final, few 75% off cast-offs from the store. I didn’t wail, but I was definitely crying on the inside. This store was a plant store with a unique urban edge to it. I can look around my house and see several pots, plants and accoutrements that I had purchased there, usually on date nights, because the town that the store sits in, has wonderful, low-key restaurants right by the water. This store contained things you just didn’t find anywhere else. I never left there without purchasing something which made my heart sing a little, and as a magic bonus, the item was usually tied to a little romantic memory with my husband.

I’m with Libby. I buy my fashion pieces, my jewelry, things for my home, my cars, souvenirs from my trips, definitely my shoes, because they speak to me emotionally. I delight in individuality in myself, and in others. I adore getting a glimpse of someone’s soul and overall being by the way that they dress themselves, hold themselves, comfort themselves in their homes, adorn themselves . . . . I “worship” at the places and at the feet of people that aren’t afraid to put it all out there, and who fully own who they are, and who proudly show it, for the whole world to see. And this looks different on everyone. And yet it is all so incredibly beautiful.

We all know that the only constant is change. So savor everything. Take nothing for granted. Buy the damn shoes. Wear them proudly. Wear your emotions on your sleeves. Say thank you to everything and everyone who has made your life the unique and wonderful experience that it is. Thank you, sweet little plant store and the persons who created you. You changed lives by being fully you, and your sui generis spirit lives on in a lot of homes, and gardens all over. Your emotions have been spoken and they are lovely.

Are you passing on love or are you passing on pain? Heal your pain and pass on love.

Here is the question of the day from 3000 Questions About Me:

1131. Are you a positive person?

Tuesday’s Tidbits

+ This is for my friends and family, up north. I do miss seeing and experiencing the beauty and the serenity and the quiet of blankets of freshly fallen snow. Our eldest son lives up north. He just sent us a picture from his back balcony. There’s a large house behind his apartment building that is painted a bright Kelly green. It is a good reminder that there is always the green of new growth hidden under the blankets of stillness and solitude.

+ On X yesterday, the Wiseconnector posted this: “Someone said, ‘A lot of people struggle with sleep because sleep requires peace.’ ” I believe that peace is extremely helpful for sleep. Inner peace, or else utter exhaustion that finally leads to pure surrender, is what helps us to get a good night’s sleep. Perhaps this means that it is total surrender that is truly equal to peace?? Another quote that I read recently said this: “Accept the unacceptable and the unacceptable ceases to exist.”

+ On the eve of Valentine’s Day I got to thinking about the wonderful word of “our”. “Our” denotes the things that we share and enjoy with others. I have so many “ours” with my husband. Our marriage, our family, our friends, our home, our dogs, our vacations, our dinners, our shows, our memories . . . . . I have a lot of “ours” with a lot of different people in my life. Think of all of the “ours” you have in your own life. “Our” means that we share a common love, time, appreciation and experience with a lot of the same things, and a lot of the same people. At work, you have “our” workplace, “our” goals, “our” lunchroom. . . . . With your friends you have “our” other friends, “our” good times shared, “our” inside jokes. . . . With your pets you have “our” walk time, “our” cuddle time, “our” favorite spots to be together in the house . . . . Friends, we have this time together at “our” blog. You have made this blog “ours” by validating it with your presence, your consideration, your time, your kindness, and your thoughtful comments. I love you. I appreciate you. I am so happy that you are part of one of my own “ours.” Think of some of your other “ours.” We don’t live life in a vacuum. We are all interconnected. Even your community has “our” parks and “our” grocery stores and “our” schools and “our” firefighters . . . . No one is alone.

Are you passing on love or are you passing on pain? Heal your pain and pass on love.

Here is the question of the day from 3000 Questions About Me:

1672. What still amazes you? (The first two things that popped into my head the minute I saw this question are dolphins and sunsets.)

Monday – Funday

Credit: @ArgyllSeaGlass, X

Mondays are tough. Mondays after a Super Bowl that goes into overtime are brutal. What I do love about the Super Bowl is that it is a great connector of people. Even if you don’t love football, you can’t help but giggle at the commercials, be completely wowed by the halftime show (Skates! Usher, you blew it out of the water!), and feel your patriotism rise a little bit. (the flyovers never fail to take my breath away.)

I was flipping through Big Panda and Tiny Dragon by James Norbury. On page 28, is this exchange:

“Nothing is happening,” said Tiny Dragon.

“Maybe,” said Big Panda, “it’s happening underneath first.”

I love this exchange. Sometimes in the beginning of the year, you feel like everything that you want to accomplish and experience is at a standstill. But you’ve made plans. You’ve implemented changes. You’ve gotten organized and did some purging to make room for the new, but your outsides don’t necessarily reflect this. Or do they? We’ve lived 6 weeks into the new year. I bet if you look at these past six weeks, you’ll be amazed at what you packed into them, and all that has already occurred in your life since the beginning of the new year. I did this exercise yesterday and I was happy to realize that in the last six weeks, we created a lot of fun memories with our family, and also with some of our extended family and friends. We attended a wedding, made a couple of nice upgrades to our home, and made some decisions regarding our plans for a secure future. We packed plenty of our normal routine stuff into our days, with some really good, fun times sprinkled into the mix. Our seeds for the year of 2024 are definitely coming up to the surface and they are beginning to sprout.

Reading this passage from Big Panda and Tiny Dragon, also made me question if I was doing a good job, making sure what happening “underneath” is being healthfully nurtured. Am I feeding and nurturing my hopes and dreams, for the year and beyond, with good thoughts, faith, plans of action, and steadiness? Or am I letting what’s “underneath” rot in the decay of negativity, regret, hopelessness, aimlessness and frenzy? What happens underneath the soil, is always a good indicator of how healthy and vital a plant will grow. What does my own grounding of soil need to ensure my own healthy growth? I am the gardener of my soul.

Are you passing on love or are you passing on pain? Heal your pain and pass on love.

Here is the question of the day from 3000 Questions About Me:

194. To whom do you matter most?