Years ago (probably even a decade ago), my husband made the horrible, dastardly mistake of eating the rest of an orange cream cupcake which our daughter had left in the refrigerator. The outcome of that act wasn’t pretty. (hysterical, hormonal preteen women are almost as lethal as hysterical, hormonal menopausal women – and I’m allowed to say this because I have been both) I don’t think that my daughter has ever completely forgiven my husband for that act. This whole ordeal was recently rehashed (yet, once again) because our local grocery store, Publix, had released a limited edition orange cream pop bar cake and yes, my husband and I devoured it within two days and bragged to the kids about it. I told my husband that I hope he had really enjoyed this delicacy because for our health’s sake, I can never purchase another one again. And then, over the weekend, I got an email from Club Publix celebrating my “half birthday” and offering up a free bar cake to commemorate this “big” event. Well, as the comedian Jim Gaffigan would say, “I don’t want to lose money on this deal.” I hope they haven’t run out of those orange cream cakes. My mouth is watering already.
Are you passing on love or are you passing on pain? Heal your pain and pass on love.
Here is the question of the day from 3000 Questions About Me:
686. Do you like scary movies? (Me, NO. Absolutely NO.)
My youngest son is home for a few days, and he just walked into my writing area, as I was staring disconcertedly at my screen.
“Sometimes, the words just seem to flow right out of me, and sometimes I just feel stuck and thoughtless,” I said to him. My son had just gotten back from an early morning workout at the gym. “Mom, you write every day. You know, even us hardcore gym guys have ‘rest days’, ya know.”
Sometimes I have so much that I want to write about, that I try to find a way to cram it all into one blog post. You’ve probably noticed those days. My posts become a weird mishmash of ideas with strange, awkward transitions, much like when you are feeling frugal and earthy, and you try to make a meal out of every leftover you have in the refrigerator. I looked up words for what people call these leftover meals: Nosh, Dump Casserole, Mustgo (from everything “must go”), Trainwreck, Creamy Party Surprise, Garbage Soup, Variegated Mush. When I sometimes make one of these leftover meals, and my family all have sneers and someone finally asks, “What IS this?” with barely disguised, disgust in their voices, I just pertly and dismissively, say, “Yum.” And then I gulp it down like it is the best meal I have ever eaten, even if it is awful.
Just like winging it, by making a meal out of leftovers, I often find that I can do the same process with my writing. If I start just typing out one sentence, I often surprise myself, with where this one sentence, ends up leading into my next thoughts. There really is so much wisdom in just taking those first steps.
Many times in my life, I have witnessed myself and others, getting caught up on “the whole staircase.” We get engrossed in the details and “in the plan”, and we feel like we can’t take those first steps until “the plan” is perfected and full-proof and airtight. Or sometimes, we take those first steps, and the staircase starts to veer off in a direction that is not part of “the plan”. The staircase is leading to something or somewhere different than we where we originally envisioned it leading, and so we freeze on the landing. We get stubborn about where we want the staircase to lead us, and we grasp on to the hand rail with clenched fists. And all that this obstinance does for us, is to stop our forward motion.
As my son said, we all need rest days, from even our most favorite activities. However, it is important to distinguish the difference between rest and inertia. In physics, the physical laws will state that rest and inertia are generally the same thing. Still, I think there is a subtle difference between rest and inertia, and this difference is in “intention.” Rest, is the act of accumulating and storing up some energy, with the intention to get moving again, whereas, inertia resists movement. Inertia requires force to get going again. Rest hasn’t lost its motivation. Inertia is bored and demotivated and stuck.
I have known quite a few business owners in my life. Many times their businesses got started with detailed plans and visions of exactly what their businesses and products and services would look like, and how their daily activities would flow. The most successful of these businesses (the ones still operating), had goals and visions that were married with a lot of flexibility and curiosity. Some of these amazing businesses barely look like what they originally started out to be.
I think the secret sauce to success in any activity, is to have a thought-out plan, filled with goals and guidelines and visualizations. However, this plan needs to be written in pencil, with a big, bold eraser. This plan needs to have a big helping of “flow” in it. When “flow” is allowed to be part of the “Variegated Mush” of our lives’ actions and plans, the final outcome is often surprisingly, and unexpectedly, more delicious than we could have ever imagined. The final product of anything that has come from “the flow” is almost always, authentically and sincerely “Yum” for everyone involved.
Are you passing on love or are you passing on pain? Heal your pain and pass on love.
