Thoughtful Thursday

Kristin Fontana writes an excellent newsletter. She was talking about a conversation she watched between two “relationship experts.” Fontana said that what she got from the conversation was a definition of forgiveness which I have never heard before, but it really resonated with me. (I just knew that it had to come here to be a thought exhibit at Adulting – Second Half. ) Forgiveness is the memory without the emotional charge. Forgiveness is experience alchemized into wisdom.

The concept of forgiveness is a toughie, isn’t it? It’s a confusing concept. It’s hard because many times forgiveness is treated like an “all or nothing.” And there are so many contradictory pity statements floating around out there about forgiveness.

“Forgive and forget.” “Forgive but don’t forget.” “To err is human; to forgive, divine”. “When a deep injury is done us, we never recover until we forgive”.  Oscar Wilde said this: “Always forgive your enemies – nothing annoys them so much.” When I looked up quotes about forgiveness, the AI overview said this, “There are many quotes about forgiveness, including the idea that it’s a gift, a constant attitude, and the final form of love.” 

Ultimately, in order to forgive anyone or anything, we must let go of the emotional charge that comes from the memory of the incident or incidents. To let go, we have to be able to detach. To let go, we must be able to trust ourselves to go through the process of alchemizing our experiences, and the emotions that come from those experiences, into wisdom, and then to act on our deeper wisdom going forward. This process is probably one of the hardest lessons we humans ever learn. But when we don’t go through the process of forgiveness, we withhold love and peace from ourselves.

And also from Kristin Fontana’s newsletter, verbatim, is this lovely fable:

According to an old Native American Legend, one day there was a big fire in the forest.

All the animals fled in terror

Suddenly, the Jaguar saw a Hummingbird pass over his head, but it was flying toward the fire.

Moments later, the Jaguar saw him pass again, this time he was headed away from the fire.

The Jaguar asked,
“What are you doing Hummingbird?

“I am going to the lake”,  he answered.
“I drink water with my beak and throw it onto the fire to extinguish it.”

The Jaguar laughed. “Are you crazy?” Do you really think you can put out that big fire on your own with your very small beak?”

“No”, said the Hummingbird, “I know I can’t.”
“But the forest is my home, it feeds me, it shelters me and my family. I am very grateful for that.
I am part of her, and the forest is part of me.”

I know I cannot put out the fire, but I must do my part.”

At that moment, the forest spirits who listened to the Hummingbird were moved by the bird and its devotion to the forest. 

Miraculously, they sent down a torrential downpour, which put an end to the great fire.

The Native American grandmothers would tell this story to their grandchildren. Then concluded with, “Do you want to attract miracles in your life? Then do your part.”

“You have no responsibility to save the world, or find the solutions to all problems but to tend to your personal corner of the Universe.”

“As each person does that, the world will save itself.”

That’s all we really have to do, right? Do our own teeny part, and then trust the Universe to take care of the rest. The Universe is using each one of us, and our own unique individual gifts and talents, to bring up the whole, but we were also gifted with free will, so that we can choose to fly like the hopeful hummingbird, or we can sit in cynicism like the jaded jaguar. We can be brave enough to feel our emotions and set them free, and then march on with our deeper wisdoms into a brighter and lighter future.

Are you passing on love or are you passing on pain? Heal your pain and pass on love.

Notebooks and Knickknacks

I know that I have a fair amount of fellow writers who follow this blog. Thank you. I feel so honored by this fact. I was thumbing through my current “inspirational notebooks” (see above) realizing that I would have to start a new one soon. I only have a few pages left in this one. My inspirational notebooks are a huge part of my writing process. Anytime I see a thought provoking quote, or I get a meaningful greeting card from someone, or a particular picture in a magazine moves me, I tape it, or I handwrite it into my notebooks. (I probably have about 3-4 filled notebooks now) Obviously, my notebook is messy and scribbly. It’s just for me. It’s not a scrapbook. It’s not for show. (I’m not nearly that neat nor patient.) Also, I’m an old fashioned gal. I like tactile stuff. I like paper calendars and pretty folders where I keep longer printed articles. I like to touch and hold things that have meaning to me. I remember things better if I hand write them. Here are a couple of recent quotes I quickly jotted down in my current notebook seen above:

“There is only one success – to be able to spend your life in your own way.” – Chris Morley

“Fate described – No matter how hard you try to for something not to happen and it happens anyway.” – Kristin Fontana (I thought that is was a really interesting take on “fate.” Fate is usually used in a romantic context, like “It was fate that they should be together.” Usually I think that fate would be described as a happening occuring, despite all odds, because it is just meant to be. But, in these last few years of witnessing loved ones suffering from serious illnesses, I understand Kristin’s description of fate, much better, unfortunately.)

Since I just shared these quotes on the blog, I write a light squiggly line through them, so that I remember not to repeat them here, but I can still read them, and let them continue to inspire me. I refer back to my notebooks many times. As my regular readers know, I consider this blog and my notebooks to be my “museums of thought.” My notebooks are my own personal “museums of me.”

On an aside, the sea turtle peering at my notebook in the video is one of my many knickknacks. I wish that I weren’t a knickknack lady, but I am totally and completely a knickknack lady. My knickknacks inspire me like my notebooks inspire me, plus I love to support local artists, and small shops, and antique collectors. The sea turtle was being sold by a street artist at a local fair. It’s paper mache and I adore him and his sweet face. The artist was an older, bearded man who almost seemed shocked that I wanted to purchase his little paper creation. Unfortunately, he wasn’t getting many visitors to his small, inconspicuous stand. I was thrilled to make him happy and I am grateful that he was willing to sell the sea turtle to me. I love my happy, little sea turtle (and the artist loved the sea turtle). We creators know that we are bravely giving away a little bit of ourselves (and a little bit of sweet, vulnerable love) with each of our creations that we share with the world.

Now circling back to my fellow writers, what is your writing process? What inspires you? How do you keep your notes? Is everything in your head? Computer files? Do you allow yourself to be inspired in your own special way? Are there new processes which you can utilize to dig deeper into getting to know your truest self, and thus helping you to find your truest writing “voice”? Answer me in my comments, if you like, but most importantly, answer these questions for yourself.

Are you passing on love or are you passing on pain? Heal your pain and pass on love.