inspiration Archives - Page 77 of 79 - Adulting: Second- Half

The Cherry on Top

I was all set to write about this life management theory that I have been learning about and that I find to be very interesting. Then, I got distracted (story of my life) during my morning reading, and I found two quotes that really struck me as important enough to discuss. I use this blog to commune with you, my wonderful readers, but also as a library of sorts, for me to keep useful, interesting information and inspiration for myself. So, tune in tomorrow for words on a thought-provoking life theory, but for today, here are the quotes:

“At the end of a good book, I always feel fuller, but also irrationally abandoned.” – Charmeuse (Twitter)

I absolutely love when someone puts into words exactly how I feel and in such an easy, succinct way to understand. I always feel this way after a good book. The two best books that I have read lately, which made me feel this way, were Glennon Doyle’s UNTAMED and J.D. Vance’s HILLBILLY ELEGY. (this one has been made into a movie directed by Ron Howard. I am very excited to watch it!)

The second quote is a little more somber. This is the quote:

“Make peace with the apology that isn’t coming.” – Valencia (Twitter)

The most beautiful heartfelt, thought-out apologies which I have ever received are from kind, loving people who have barely offended me. (we all make mistakes) These apologies were full of emotional empathy, not one excuse, and were followed with an earnest change in behavior. I think that a lot of us (or at the very least, me) get caught up in these fantasies, of that type of sincere, genuine apology coming from the people who have cut us to our cores. But here’s reality friends, people who are capable of hurting us that deeply, are most likely the same types of people who are not capable of a great deal of empathy and self reflection and introspection. Hurting people hurt people. Unfortunately, it is typically the most damaged souls that cause the most damage. These people are not capable of the apologies and of the understanding (the kind of apologies that are often shown at the climax of a dramatic movie) which we are most wanting and needing to hear. So the sooner that you can make peace with the fact, that the genuine apology is unlikely to occur, and trust yourself going forward, to keep healthy boundaries with toxic people and negative situations, the easier it is to move on with your life, forgiving yourself and others, for past situations that caused harm. (Remember forgiving does not mean forgetting or even resuming a relationship. It just means letting go of the rumination and the pain of it all. Forgiveness is for yourself.) Take only the growth and the lessons and the wisdom which you gleaned from a relationship or a happening, and let go of your need for the apology. It is the only way to peace. Let it go. Let it go. Let it go. And remember, if by rare chance, a person does do the hard work to change their ways, and evolves into a better, more authentic person, the apology received will be like the cherry on top, of the beautiful, delicious dessert that you have already created for yourself, with your healed and happy life.

Let it Flow

Thank you, Think Smarter (Twitter), for the above meme. The very young and the very old really have so much to teach us about “just being.”

We all know the wisdom of being in the now. There are whole industries and book stores filled with the importance of living for the moment. How do we get to, and stay in, that state of “just being in the moment”, though? It isn’t easy, is it? A friend, years ago, told me that she visualizes the flow of life/God/spirit coming into her, at the very top of her head and flowing in and all around her. When she finds herself to be angry or fearful or controlling, she knows that it is time to unkink her proverbial hose, so that “the flow” can come easily in and through her, once again.

When my kids were little and cranky, wanting to know when we were going to leave the grocery store or to get to a vacation spot, I used to say (in my calmest, wisest Mom voice that I could muster), “Go with the flow.” Sometimes that worked and sometimes it just annoyed the crap out of them. They still remember it, though. My mostly adult children still like to say “Go with the flow”, in a weird moony voice, when they are teasing me about their childhood years.

What if we looked at negative emotional states as a short in our system? What if, when we are feeling mad, sad, or scared (and all of the little nuanced feelings that fall under those big categories), we saw those emotions as “Check Engine” lights? What if, in those moments of unrest, we pulled over to the curb, for a pause and unkinked some hoses, with prayer, or with positive thoughts of gratitude, or a visualization of handing over our worries to bigger, more capable hands. Unless we are master mechanics, most of us don’t know how to fix our cars when the “Check Engine” light appears. But we take our cars to service stations which we trust, to fix them. We take our bodies to doctors and healers, when we get physically hurt or sick. We take our minds to classrooms and read books, to learn and to grow our knowledge and the reasonings of our minds. Where do we take our souls to get fixed? Whatever feeds your soul, whether it be at church, or at a temple, or listening to music, or communing with nature, or communicating in prayer and in meditation, (only You know what that is, as it is a highly personal thing for your Spirit to commune with what makes it whole), make sure that you are giving yourself those maintenance appointments for your Soul. Make sure that your hoses are unkinked and your electric starters are firing on all cylinders. Make sure that the energy you are burning is sustainable and not likely to burn you out. Take those much needed time-outs, so that you are able to “go with the flow” in order to live a purposeful and meaningful and peaceful life. The flow is the only way your Spirit knows how to travel.

Flow is the nature of energy; flow is another name of life | Picture Quotes

Lao Tzu Quote: “Those who flow as life flows know they need no other force.” (23 wallpapers) - Quotefancy

Impossible

Lately I have been letting myself get sucked into the soup of negativity. My moods can turn into a downward spiral and I found myself swirling closer to the drain than I like to be. It is so much nicer to float on the surface. The murky depths were getting to me. So, for me, my best medicine to get my lower self out of my head, is to drive my convertible with the top down, sing at the top of my lungs, and just see where the drive takes me. Yesterday, my ultimate destination was to pick up dinner at The Fresh Market. I adore that grocery store. It makes me feel grown up and sophisticated to shop there. Everything is slower paced inside of the store. The lights are dimmed (almost like candlelight), symphony music plays subtly in the background, fresh cut flowers abound, no one walks fast or talks loudly on their phones while perusing the edible delights that are just about everywhere you look, and even the check out people are uninterruptedly deliberate, unflappable and even-paced. If you have a hard time meditating, just shop in the The Fresh Market. It’s a walking meditation.

Now getting back to my story – before I reached The Fresh Market, I was driving around, happily and aimlessly, and I realized that I was in close proximity to another delightful, unique French boutique that is in my vast collection of happy places. I don’t get there very often because it is a good half hour away from my home and is sort of a hidden gem, with no other stores near to it. I saw on my phone that it was open until four p.m., so with excitement fluttering in my chest, I steered my mechanical baby (my car) towards the boutique. I hadn’t been there since before the coronavirus mess, so I eagerly awaited our energetic embrace. I could feel my moodiness lifting, as I was driving, singing, and looking up to the bright blue sky, as I made my way to my savored destination.

As I turned the corner towards the store, I noticed that the boutique didn’t have their usual array of impossibly pretty planters (or jardinière, as the French say) out by the windows on the sidewalk. As I drove up to the strangely empty parking lot, my heart sunk down to the drain hole again, when I saw an enormous, indifferent “for sale” sign, on the empty, soulless, bare building that once housed a bustling spirit which took you away to France, without ever having to board a plane. I started cursing the fates. Why wasn’t I being supported in my attempts to uplift my energy?! (I have an unhealthy habit of personalizing everything.) Still, even at my depths, I am a ruggedly stubborn optimist. Google said that the boutique was “open.” Google had green open hours connected with my beloved boutique. Google is Big Brother. Google knows everything. Could my boutique have changed locations? I went to the Wizard of Google and I did actually find an alternate address. This address was just five minutes away.

You can guess the rest of the story. My darling little French boutique still exists! It has weathered coronavirus, and while smaller and cozier, its spirit still remains strong and elegant, as the shop owner hands out complimentary tea in beautiful porcelain tea cups, as you peruse her lovely, charming shop. As you know by now, I am always looking for the life lesson in everything. This experience reminded me to not lose hope. All is not lost. Gardens come back after winter, and all robust gardens started out as just tiny little seeds. When there is a will, there is a way. I purchased a CD of various French songs typically played in Parisian cafes (yes, even my husband was shocked to know that my car has a CD player) and I sang out loud, to words which I do not understand (but my heart seemed to know that they were wonderful words) and I headed to my next living meditation, in order to buy my family’s dinner makings.

Vouloir, c’est pouvoir. (When there is a will, there is a way.)

Impossible n’est pas français. (Impossible isn’t French.)

Sacred Friday

A day of remembrance 9/11 9/11 quotes september 11 quotes september 11th quotes… | Remembrance quotes, Remember quotes, September 11 quotes

As you age, you come to realize that there are certain traumatic moments, and surreal time periods in life, that you will never, ever be able to completely forget. These sensations and memories are particularly amplified when everyone you know has been affected to at least some degree, and is hurting along with you. We are living through one of these types of time periods right now. We were devastatingly scorched by one of those time periods back in September of 2001.

9/11 was a horrible, horrible, horrible day and experience, but we survived it. We will always remember it, but we overcame it. We got temporarily knocked down, but we rose back up. Beside all of the disbelief and horror and pain and shock and loss and soul scorching anger, there was a pure beauty that came out of that day. I never felt more unified with my neighbors and my fellow American citizens, than in the rest of that year, and into the new year of 2002. I never felt prouder of being an American than on those surreal days after 9/11, when we healed our trauma, together. We held our heads up high, in sharp defiance of evil. I remember for days that turned into weeks and then into months, the feeling of unification was everywhere. People were kind to each other. People focused on how akin they felt to each other. People did whatever they could, in order to heal and to memorialize this awfulness, in a most graceful, dignified, sacred, all encompassing way. People from other countries spoke only of our country’s greatness, of our unmatched generosity, of our beacon of hope which we give to everyone all over the world. We put aside our differences, during that painful time, because we knew that to become whole again, for the raw vulnerability to be cleansed and to be healed, that we needed the support of the whole body of our great country.

Today, we will get set back into our grief a little bit again, but let us also remember the utterly amazing, awe-striking unified Phoenix that rose from those lowly ashes. Let that defiant Phoenix of destiny, which rose and soared above all that which was meant to destroy us, be an example and a reminder to all of us, of what we are capable of doing with our current fires and traumas and fears. We owe this to the people who gave up their lives on 9/11, and to the families who still grieve their appalling sudden losses. We owe this to future generations, to give them an example of core strength and hope and the proof that love and respect for each other, is really what conquers all. Our future generations will need a positive example to fall back on, a wisdom to thrive from, when dark days happen again in their lives, and in the history of America. We need each other. Today, as Americans, we all embrace each other in comfort and compassion. Let’s find more strength and power and energy and onus, in today’s embrace. Let’s all look outwards, together, from this embrace into a unified vision of the beautiful country that everyone who has fought for, and who has lost their lives for, believes in. We aren’t where we need to be yet as a country, but we can get there. It won’t be from fighting each other, though. We need each other.

We healed over the acute pain of 9/11. There will always be a sharp ragged scar, which will always hurt to the touch, but we survived it, and then we thrived. We know that we are a country that is capable of great, great things. We’ve proven that to ourselves, and to everybody else, again and again. We rise from the ashes, and we continue to do so, every time that we are called to do it. Let’s try now to give our collective healing from our current pains, some wings of unity, dignity, love, respect, kindness, empathy and hope, and let the rest of it all – the divisiveness, the inequalities, the failure to work together, the closed minds, the focusing on all of the negative without putting major energy towards the solutions – let’s let all of this negativity that is no longer useful to our country’s greater good, just smolder away in the ashes of what does not serve us. We are the people of a great democracy. We decide what matters. We need each other.

(I apologize for not sticking with my traditional Friday format, but honestly, not really. Thank you for understanding.)

Pleasure and Peace

Hi friends, thank you so much for spending some time here today at Adulting – Second Half. Your time is precious and I appreciate you giving some of it here. It means a lot to me, in ways that I don’t really have the words to explain. My heart goes out to my west coast readers. Please stay safe and well, amidst these roaring fires. Prayers and love to you.

I keep a lot of paper journals and such, full of words and pictures that have held inspirational meaning and interest to me. I picked up one journal which I kept about a decade ago, which as you recall, was during the Great Recession, another stressful, precarious time for a lot of us. The physical journal itself is kind of gaudy. It is made of a dark red brocade that actually has stuffing inside of it. The cover has large plastic, brightly colored gemstones (some that have fallen off), sewn on to it. It is one of those things that you look at it, and you ask yourself, “Did I actually think this was pretty at one time? What was my mental state at the time of purchasing this?” It is one of those physical reminders to ourselves, that we are constantly in a state of change, always opening up from a new cocoon of ideas and perspectives, sometimes even on a daily basis.

On that note, my husband buys me one of those Awkward Family Photo Calendars, every year, for my stocking at Christmas. I love it. It guarantees me at least one daily laugh, but what I like best about it, is the reminder of people’s humility. The people who send their pictures into the calendar company have the ability to laugh at themselves, and that is a lovely trait in a person. Yesterday’s picture was a professional portrait of a young woman, obviously a product of the 1980s, with an enormous heavily sprayed nest of bangs, that could have managed to be its own head of hair, itself. I thought to myself, this woman is laughing at her 1980s self, along with the rest of us, but on that day, she put a lot of time and effort and money into her “look.” She felt good enough that day, about how she looked, to pay a professional photographer to take her picture. Her real beauty shines through all of that sprayed, elevated, shock of hair, because she has self reflection enough, to not take herself too seriously. She loves herself at every step of the game, and that is so refreshing. She’s beautiful.

Back to my point, despite its over-the-top physicality, the garish journal is filled on the inside with words and pictures and inspirations that have shaped my life. I even have some fortunes from fortune cookies taped in there, and cuttings from newspapers, magazines, and elementary school newsletters. When I was filling up this particular journal, I did not have writing a public blog in mind, so unfortunately I don’t have the sources of most of these wisdoms. Still, I believe all wisdom, comes from a higher source, and those of us who write stuff down, are usually just quirky little scribes and messengers. Anyway, this has just been a long way of me saying that in this flashy, showy journal, that at one time caught my eye and I must have found to be physically pleasing enough to claim it as mine, I found a quote yesterday that was cut out of magazine that explained what I have been trying to say in all of these paragraphs above, maybe even in all of these blog posts, for the last couple of years. At the very least, it describes my precious and precocious inspirational scrapbook/journal perfectly:

“I miss my mother, and I find myself walking through her house in my memory, remembering her ways and seeing beauty. Beauty, for her, was a mix of the deep and the superficial: that which gives us pleasure and that which gives us peace.” (source unknown)

Picking out and purchasing my ostentatious journal, and filling it up with words and images that have helped to mold me into the current version of me, gave me great pleasure. And the words inside of it, still give me great peace. Maybe life is meant to be just that simple, a happy mix of pleasure and peace. It’s quite possible. It’s certainly not a bad way to live.

Like a Roller Coaster

I mentioned before that my youngest son is epileptic. The first major seizure that he suffered was hell. It was hell for him; it was hell for our family. The day that he had his first major seizure is easily in the top five worst days of my life. I don’t want to spend too much time dwelling on the worst days of my life, so I am not going to really try to rank them, but that day was hideous. Luckily (depending on how you look at it), he’s only had three major seizures after that one. And as awful as the subsequent seizures were, they weren’t as bad as the first one. Why is this? The subsequent seizures weren’t as bad as the first one, because we mostly knew what to expect. We had been through the experience, and we knew that we would get to the other side. We knew that we could handle the pain and the uncertainty and the fear and the worry. We knew that processing all of the feelings that result from his seizures is tough and necessary, but we also knew that we were up to the challenge, because we have already proven that to ourselves. People think that negative, grueling experiences toughen you up, but I don’t really believe that. I think that negative, grueling experiences prove to you, just how tough you really are and have always been, but you just didn’t know it. You forgot. Tough experiences reveal to you, your true inner core of strength. And the beauty of going through some extremely hard stuff (which almost all of us have gone through, by this middle stage in our lives), is that you have that knowledge about yourself. You know that you can handle almost anything that life brings to bear. Your inner steeliness becomes your recognizable outer armor.

I read a quote the other day that said this, “Even cowards can endure hardship; only the brave can endure suspense.” There is a lot of truth to this statement. I always say, “I know in my heart that I can handle anything, but I hate being in limbo. I hate wondering. I hate the times of indecision and waiting. That’s when my self-torture starts.”

We have a lot of limbo going on in the world right now. The uncertainty is so wide and has been happening for so long, that it feels like being stuck on an incredibly tall roller coaster going up, up, up, climbing the metal tracks, ever so slowly . . . clack . . . clack . . . clack, gazing down below, if you dare, to all that you could be crashing down into, at any moment. Lately, life feels like living in the constant build-up stage, to the crescendo of a horror film. Our imaginations run wild as we watch movies like this, as the characters in the story pick up the phone, or open the door to the basement, or hear a fearsome rustle in the bushes outside. The anticipation of what could happen is terrifying, especially since our human nature often takes us to the worst case scenarios. But in reality, what almost always happens at the end of a roller coaster ride? We end up safely back at the wooden gates, laughing and smiling and exhilarated for what we have been through. And even if we didn’t like the amusement ride, it is past us now, and we have that notch in our belts, for having survived the experience. Retrospectively, the roller coaster ride ends up being a lot shorter than it seemed, while first crawling up that first big incline of the ride. And to the same point, what generally happens at the end of a thriller film? Usually, the crazy lunatic is finally stopped in his or her tracks, by our favorite hero or heroine, and we all can breathe again, as the movie ends in a feeling of relief and reprieve and calm. And even if this is not the case, as we parents always assured our children, “The movie was just pretend.” The worst case scenarios rarely, rarely come to fruition in the movies, or in life. A happy ending is almost always assured for us. The point of getting on to the roller coaster or us watching the thriller is because we like the excitement. These are some of the types of things that make us feel acutely alive. Some of us prefer small doses of thrills. The merry-go-rounds and musicals are enough for some of us. And others prefer bungee jumping and hatchet films. And then there is everything in between. Still, we each enter into these experiences because we want to feel the strong exhilaration that they create for us. We want all of the sensations of feeling alive in every state of our being. We feel the tenseness of our muscles, we feel the alertness of our minds, and we feel the relief and the letting go, the very peace of our inner spirits, when the ride safely ends, or the movie is over and complete.

I think that life is a lot like this. I like to believe that we entered into this earthly experience with the full expectation of thrills and challenges and calm periods, and being able to notice and to feel the distinctly different sensations that all of these unique experiences bring to us. I like to think that we step into the ride of our lives, or start the film of our lives, knowing that we will go through all sorts of ups and downs, but in the end, everything will end up alright. We step on to the ride, or we confidently press the start button, because we inherently understand that we are created to be strong enough to handle anything (the good, the bad and the ugly) and we want to give it a try. I think that probably the hardest challenge of this ride of life, isn’t the crazy ups and downs, it isn’t even the horrifying suspense moments, but more so, the most grueling part of this life experience is facing the reality, of how fast this life adventure really goes, as it heads towards the journey’s safe end.

Flavorful

“The world needs this right now, we have received thousands of comments from people who say this has come at such a perfect time,” said Klein about the treasure hunt.

Did you read about the founder of Jelly Belly brand jelly beans, giving away one of his Candyman Kitchens, with a golden ticket/Willy Wonka style? How fun! How intriguing and inspiring and heartwarming and charmingly evocative!

Most of us would agree with David Klein, the inventor of Jelly Belly candies, in his statement, “The world needs this right now.” But what is “this” that he is referring to? What is the golden ticket that the world needs right now?

Is it fun? Is it a focus on the light-hearted, happy stuff? Is it excitement? Is it smiling, bright-eyed anticipation? Is it curiosity? Is it wonderment? Is it sweetness? Is it frivolity? Is it sugar-coated happiness? Is it innocence? Is it faith, hope and love?

Whatever “this” is which we all seem to agree that the world needs more of right now, we can try to be a little bit of “this“, today, right now, in our own spaces and our own places. If the world needs more of “this” and we have the ability to give the world more of “this“, why not try? Why not be a golden ticket in our own corners of the world? At the very least, we can be our own little flavorful jelly bellies. (I’ve been working on my jelly belly since quarantine started. It’s coming along nicely.) What flavor are you today? I think that I will be “this” flavor, just for today.

Come Alive

(greeting card by Ingrid Goff-Maidoff)

Every day is a new day of a new version of ourselves. The experiences we had over the weekend, our emotional responses to those happenings, and the wisdom we gleaned from both our experiences and our responses, have added a new layer to this energy, we each call “me.” This morning I have curated quotes from my many inspirational quote journals that sort of go along with this same theme. I am sorry that I am not sure who to attribute these quotes to, but I don’t claim any of them as mine. I am just thankful for their inspiration and sagacity.

“You can’t go back and write a new beginning, but you can start from here and write a new ending.”

“I may not be there yet, but I am closer than I was yesterday.”

“Today is a new day. Begin it well, and serenely and with too high a spirit to be encumbered with your old nonsense.”

“If you are depressed, you are living in the past. If you are anxious, you are living in the future. If you are at peace, you are living in the present.”

“When you come out of the storm you won’t be the same person who walked in. That is what the storm was all about.”

“When you are a better character in your story, your story gets better.”

“Maybe the journey isn’t so much about becoming anything. Maybe it’s about un-becoming everything that isn’t really you, so you can be who you were meant to be in the first place.”

“Yesterday I was clever, so I wanted to change the world. Today, I am wise, so I am changing myself.”

“Your past is meant to be a guidepost, not a hitching post.”

“Believe with all of your heart that you will do what you are made to do.”

“I am my only project. Fully embracing this idea gives me so much freedom to do the many things that I have been born to do. Others are in our lives for a reason, but they are not present as our works in progress.”

“Never think of yourself as a self-made person. Thousands of hearts, souls, hopes and hands molded the form that became you.”

“Anything I can go through, I can grow through.”

“Don’t worry about what the world needs. Ask what makes you come alive, and do that. Because what the world needs is people who have come alive.”

The Shield

(Twitter K. McIntire)

*****My heart and my prayers are with all who are affected by Hurricane Laura.

I so appreciate the picture shown above. It shows the humanity, and the empathy of the people who I know, and it depicts the good hearts of the many, many people who I have met, throughout my almost 50 years of life. This has been such a terrifying, painful, unbelievable year for so, so many people, all over the world. Today, let’s just rise above the noise, and the hatred, and the fear, and the anger, and the judgment, and the loneliness, and the bewilderment, and the need for control, and let’s just hold each other tight. I am so thankful for all of you who read my blog. Please, just feel me holding you tight. Close your eyes to all of the frightening appearances, close your ears to all of the competing, senseless noise, and only allow yourself to feel the soft, peaceful, yet impenetrable embrace of Love. Rise above it all and let Love sustain you. You are Love. You are filled with Love. Love cannot be destroyed. Let Love sustain you.

One of the more hip, modern daily horoscopes that I read, told me that today was a day that I needed to “Shield My Field.” There is no greater shield than the power of Love. Today, let Love “shield your field”. You are made of Love. It replenishes. Give Love freely to yourself, and to others, and to the clear, bright-lit vision of what the world really is, underneath all of the maddening noise, made by the weaker side of humanity (hello, egos), to provoke fear and helplessness. You have all of the materials that you need, to “shield your field”, every single day. Embrace that fact, and walk boldly into your life today. You are shielded with the most warm, calming, powerful, peaceful, eternal force that has ever been, or will ever exist, until the end of forever. Accept your shield. You can do whatever you need to do today, with the power of your shield. You are protected. The lower parts of all of us, and in all of the world, cower in awe and humility in the face of Love. And Love picks up those low, low, scared, trying desperately to control, hopeless, full of fear, full of pain, parts of us, and Love embraces them, and Love shines a Light on them, and Love cleanses them until they disappear as if they never existed. Because they don’t. They are just figments of our own imaginations, in stories that we have made up about our lives. Love shows us that we can always take up our shields and walk away from the shadows. This power of Love has NEVER left us. The world is just the world. We can pick up our shields and we look at the world through the lens of Love, or we can stay mired in our dark and fearful thoughts. That’s our free will. I think what the world needs now, is for more of us to pick up our shields of Love, and to walk confidently and calmly, with the force of Love. When we remind ourselves of the reality of what really makes us, and what really sustains us, forever and forever, others cannot help but to be reminded of that fact, too. Others are reminded to pick up their shields of Love. When we are holding our shields of Love, and we do this all together, we can open our eyes again, and we can open our ears again, and we will see a whole, new beautiful vision of the world. We will see our world as it actually is – Love. Nothing more, nothing less. Pure, Beautiful, Eternal Love.

Gift from the Sea

Anne Morrow Lindbergh Quote: The sea does not reward those who are ...

Yesterday, I was reminded of one of my favorite little tomes of all time, Gift from the Sea by Anne Morrow Lindbergh. We had a family boating day, and while my husband and my middle son were silently fishing, my eldest son and my daughter and I swam over to a tiny little island to explore what treasures might be found. My gift from the sea, yesterday, was a lovely, surprisingly vivid, pink feather. My gift from the sun, yesterday, was a not-so-lovely pink sunburn. We used up an entire can of 50 level sunscreen, and yet still, the entire family is donning our (in various shades of pinkish tan, all the way to glaring red), badges of shame. It’s disconcerting to reach the age in life, where you have lived an entire cycle of boastful pride to shameful mortification, for the exact same behaviors. When I was a kid, having a tan was a badge of pride and honor. Any level of obvious sun exposure to your skin, suggested that you were lucky and prosperous enough to visit somewhere (even if it was just the neighborhood pool) to have enough leisure time to lay out and bake in the sunshine. We didn’t have iPads or phone games back then, so picking at our peeling skin was a strangely satisfying past-time. Now to be clear, I have witnessed family members and friends, deal with various degrees of skin cancer, so I know that where we are in the cycle of “it is shameful to have a suntan”, is where we should probably stay. Progress is not a backwards motion. Lately, it seems to me that rapid changes in societal beliefs and technological advances and scientific discoveries are happening at such warp speed, that it makes me feel like perhaps in a lot of ways, in a lot of my life, I was doing everything entirely wrong, and that I was often looking at things through a faulty, cloudy lens. But that’s not really true, is it? Growth happens all of the time. We start from a tiny little speck and we grow from there, constantly being influenced by internal and external forces, that help mold us into our latest uploads and versions of ourselves. We are works in progress, all of us, and that is true of all living things. Most of us are doing the very best we that we can, every single day. We deserve to give ourselves a break, like perhaps a relaxing day on the beach. Only next time when I give myself a restful day outside, I’ll bring two cans of sunscreen and a wider-brimmed hat. I’m not too prideful, to learn and grow from my experiences, in order to become the latest, best version of me.

gift from the sea Archives - Bookish Illuminations