inspiration Archives - Page 73 of 79 - Adulting: Second- Half

In the Beginning

13 Uplifting Quotes About New Beginnings

I love new beginnings. Today feels so fresh and new. It is the first day of the month, and the first day of summer (in a calendar sense). Over the weekend, we did things like going to see a movie (at a theater!) and we ate at a couple of restaurants (inside, no masks). It feels so good to get reacquainted with “normal life” again. It is, perhaps, a hidden blessing which the pandemic brought to us. We get to experience all of our old stuff, like it is new, with a more wide-eyed and open-hearted appreciation for everything that before, at times, seemed dull and routine.

I am watching the latest Naomi Osaka story with a keen interest. I am trying to stay detached from having any strong opinions about the story. Naomi Osaka, a Japanese tennis player, is one of the best tennis players ever to play the game. She withdrew from the French Open, after she experienced quite a lot of pressure and fines and criticism, for choosing not to speak to the French media, which is considered an obligation of the players. (Sports is a big business, after all – as is, just about everything) Osaka cites being an introvert and suffering from depression, as her reasons for not wanting to speak with the press. She is putting the priority on her mental health, by choosing to withdraw from the French Open.

My daughter is a competitive tennis player. She has a lot natural talent and athleticism and she could have chosen to take her tennis experience to much higher level, if that was her goal. In sports, having the raw talent is a necessary component, but to really succeed at the highest levels, it requires a single-minded devotion to the sport. It takes a focus and a passion, that makes all decisions about anything in your life, always to be hinging on the highest and utmost priority of succeeding at your sport. (what to eat, when to sleep, how to fit in your schooling, spending money on trainers, conducting your relationships etc. etc.) It can often lead to a one-dimensional life. It is not for the faint of heart.

I’m 50, so I have, quite frankly, laughed at “the snowflake” jokes and the memes that say that our younger generations are “soft.” Each older generation thinks that we are so much “tougher” and wiser and more resilient than the generations that come after us. And that may be true, in some regards. We older people have a lot more experiences in life, under our belts, and the old adage, “What doesn’t kill you, makes you stronger”, often rings true. However, in my life’s experience, my strongest, bravest moments rarely came from “toughing out” something miserable. It did take bravery to hold on through negative, painful experiences, but it took even more bravery, to ask for help. The moments that I had to muster up my greatest courage, usually were the moments when I said to myself and to others, “I can’t endure this any longer. I don’t want to feel this misery anymore. I must be true to myself.” My bravest moments were times when I “bucked the system”, because the system no longer rang true to me – to the deepest part of myself. My most heroic moments in my life’s experience, have come from the times when I no longer cared what other people thought (sometimes masses of people), and I stayed clear on what was truly important to me. It takes a hell of a lot of gumption to be true to yourself. It is not for the faint of heart.

I have a deep sense that we are at a “new beginnings” stage in so many factions of our lives. There is a lot more vibrant re-considering of the status quo, going on, and perhaps because of social media, and so many more public news outlets, this questioning is being brazenly played out, on a world stage. In the case of Naomi Osaka, what some may see as a weak moment, may well be the most defining, brave moment of her life. It may be the most inspiring thing which she has ever done for herself, and for her fans. As I said in my opening sentence, “I love new beginnings.” I have learned to embrace them. New beginnings happen all of the time, every moment of every day. And they are good. They are what leads to a brave, new world.

Are you passing on love or are you passing on pain? Heal your pain and pass on love.

We Will Not Let You Down

Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.

Thank you to any of you who are veterans, family of veterans, and to any of you who have lost family members who were serving our nation. We are indebted to you.

My family is chockful of veterans and I am extremely proud of that fact. My father and my father-in-law (who is deceased) are veterans. None of my family members, who are veterans, had to pay the ultimate price for their service to our country, and I am exceedingly grateful for that fact. But, they were all willing to pay the price. They all believed that our great nation, and its ideals of freedom and liberty, is worthy of protecting and preserving, even if it meant their untimely deaths.

I was watching a comedian this weekend, and he talked about the fact that if you ever have to question about how diverse the United States is, compared to any other country in the world, just watch the Olympics opening parades. Who has a more diverse team than us? Sweden? Japan? China? Nigeria? Jordan? Bolivia? The United States is the ultimate test room. We are trying the grand experiment of a democracy that our forefathers carefully laid out. I am sure that our forefathers were mocked. I am sure that their ideas were considered too idealistic and utopian.

No nation is perfect. No country does everything right. The preamble to our Constitution, starts with this:

“We the People of the United States, in Order to form a more perfect Union, establish Justice, insure domestic Tranquility, provide for the common defense, promote the general Welfare, and secure the Blessings of Liberty to ourselves and our Posterity, . . . . “

Are we doing our best, individually and wholly, to form “a more perfect union”? It doesn’t say “perfect”, because that’s not possible, but it does make its first sentence about aiming to be “more perfect”. Our Constitution’s starting sentence talks about justice, tranquility, common defense, general welfare, and the blessings of liberty. Are we doing our parts, individually and as a whole, to promote these sacred qualities for each and every one of our citizens? Service people have died for almost 250 years, to make sure that our citizens are provided these ideals which are set out in our Constitution. Are we truly doing our best to aim towards “a more perfect union”? Can we look a mother in the face who has lost her child in combat, and say that we are doing our best to be the great nation which we are intended to be? Can we look a child in the face, who will never grow up with a beloved parent because that parent died in defense of the United States, and honestly feel that we are fully putting forth our highest efforts to be the essence of what the United States is intended to be?

I think that these are questions that must be pondered on Memorial Day, and every day. What can we the people do, as a group and as individuals, to help form a more perfect union? What can we all do to make sure that all of our citizens receive justice, tranquility, common defense, general welfare and the blessings of freedom? What can we do to make sure that we deserve the many, many lives that have been lost, in order to preserve our country and its highest ideals, which it was founded upon? Instead of divisive finger pointing and righteous obstinacy, we need to face our challenges full on, together, using our rich, diverse heritage, as a mighty power and a formidable strength. We need to have one aim: to form a more perfect union. We must do this. We cannot let our fallen soldiers’ deaths be in vain.

Are you passing on love or are you passing on pain? Heal your pain and pass on love.

I Know

15 Inspirational Book Quotes We Loved in 2017 | Scholastic | Parents | Quotes from childrens books, Inspirational quotes from books, Children book quotes

I was sad to read that Eric Carle, the author of The Very Hungry Caterpillar, passed yesterday, at the age of 91. What a lovely man! What lasting gifts he has given to so many of generations of kids! (including my generation, and my kids’ generation, and likely my future grandchildren’s and great-grandchildren’s generations, to boot!)

Last night, I was having dinner with some friends and one friend was relating about how maturely her twenty-something daughter was handling a drama with her friends. We all marveled at how wise her daughter seems to be, at such a young age. We all talked about what life lessons that we wished we had figured out earlier, and really let sink in, when we were in our early adulthoods, such as: “Whatever anyone thinks about me, is none of my business.”, and “Expectations are the root of all heartache. – William Shakespeare”, and knowing that the saying, “This too shall pass”, is really, really the honest truth, and a hope to hang on to, going through any kind of negative ordeal. (All of us have just experienced this, first hand, with the pandemic, starting to finally be seen from the rearview mirror.)

It is interesting to be 50, and to still be learning a lot of life’s lessons. Life is one long learning process. The classroom never ends. I think a big paradox happens as you age. The very few things that I Know, the things that resonate in the deepest part of my soul, I Know (capital K is on purpose) with a more confident absoluteness, than I ever did before, but at the same time, I am in a constant state of “unlearning” so much that I thought I was so sure of before. I am sure there is a lot more of that “unlearning” lesson to come for me. And this “unraveling of truths” lesson seems to come at an advanced pace, the older that I get. Maybe if I reach a ripe old age, some more of my “I Knows” will turn into “Oops, looks like I was wrong about that one, too.”

My middle son is headed to his first year of medical school later this summer. At dinner the other night, he was telling my husband and I, that he’s been reflecting on the different personas which he has had, already, in his young life: Soccer Dude in high school, Frat Boy in college, now moving on to Budding Doctor Guy. During the conversation, I said that I don’t think it is so much that we change into different identities, as much as we integrate all of the experiences and wisdom that we’ve collected along the way, as we morph into new roles. At the same time, there comes to a stage in life (and I think it is primarily, in this second half of adulting) where we start shedding a lot of those “roles” or “titles” and we start peeling away at the onion of people and places and experiences and beliefs, which have created “us” and our lives, to go searching for what’s really there, in that simpler core. I think if we all stripped away all the layers, and all of the lessons, and all of the perceptions, and all of the experiences, and all of the calculations, and all of the complications, and all of the emotions, and all of the experiments, I think that we’d find the same thing at the core of all that is . . . love, just love. One day, I think that I will Know (with a capital K), that it’s only love that is at the core of everything. Simply, love.

Are you passing on love or are you passing on pain? Heal your pain and pass on love.

New feature – THROWBACK THURSDAY

I’ve decided to highlight some of my older, more popular posts, since I have been writing this blog, daily, for almost three years now. Here’s today’s Throwback post:

Letting Myself Be Lived

Bags of It

Think Smarter (Twitter) got it right, once again, with the above meme. (damn that Think Smarter, thinks smart!) It is human nature to always be desiring the next best thing. Desire is what keeps us reaching into the realms of possibility, and what helps us to create the marvels of the future. But strong desire and tenacious striving, is best helped along, with a healthy dose of humble gratefulness. As I sit at this large, heavy, L-shaped desk in my writing nook, I remember holding my breath, hoping beyond hope that the movers could make the desk fit into the corner of my living room, so that I could see out of two sets of massive windows, as I do my work. Miraculously, they were able to do it, with only about a half a centimeter to spare. (They really wanted it to work for me. I’ll never forget their kindness and effort. Never. Most often, I experience this kind of earnestness from “the everyman”. I feel sad for people who keep themselves cloistered away from people who aren’t “just like themselves.” They miss out on experiencing some of the most beautiful souls on Earth.) I am sitting at this desk, in a lovely home, which we were renting at first, before deciding that we really wanted to buy it. We had fallen in love with our views from the windows, and the nature surrounding us, and frankly, we really didn’t want to have to move again. I remember praying that we could strike a fair deal with our landlords, to buy it. We did. As my four children, started into the final sprint into their adulthoods (the last lap is always the fastest . . . . sigh), I prayed for a creative outlet to help me to fill the hole and make me feel more complete again. I was lead to start this blog. Thank you, sturdy desk, for fitting in and creating my writing corner. Thank you, nurturing home, for finding a way to become ours, during this transitional stage in our lives. Thank you, Powers That Be, for finding me the right outlet for the words that swim in and around my mind, day and night. Thank you for answering my prayers that lead me into my purpose(s), in this life. Thank you, also, for the unanswered prayers, that saved me from myself. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.

Yesterday, I read a cute article about an adorable and rare black leopard cub, that was born recently in an English Big Cat Sanctuary. They were asking the public to help name her. My favorite name in the running was “Inka.” I loved how the keepers described the baby leopard. In their particular British way, they said that the cub has “bags of attitude.” I’ve reached the age, where anything with “bags of attitude”, secretly delights me. My kids aren’t little sassy children, nor ornery tweens any longer, so “bags of attitude” is charming to me, once again. (Life works in circles, doesn’t it?) Anyway, I thought to myself, maybe this is the way that I should spend the rest of my life, with “bags of attitude”, fully balanced with “bags of gratitude.” It sounds like the right plan for me.

Are you passing on love or are you passing on pain? Heal your pain and pass on love.

Monday Fun-Day

Movie Quotes on Twitter: ""You don't save me. I save me." - Kim Wexler, Better Call Saul 2020… "

This is a going to be a little more serious than my typical Monday post, but it has been playing around in my head too long, for me to not get it out in writing. That’s how it works with me. My husband and I have been devoted to watching the “Better Call Saul” television series for the last few weeks. It’s excellent. Having been huge fans of “Breaking Bad”, I am not sure why it took us so long to get to the spinoff, “Better Call Saul”, but better late than never.

There is a powerful scene in the show, where one of the characters, Kim Wexler, is having to dig herself out of a hole with her employer – a hole, partially made by her love interest, Jimmy, and his bad judgment. Jimmy is trying to fix what has happened, in order to get back into Kim’s good graces. At the end of this poignant scene, Kim dismisses Jimmy’s shady ‘solution’ to the problem, by using her own reason and common sense and good judgment. With a very determined, and empowered and all-knowing demeanor, she says to Jimmy, “You don’t save me. I save me.”

“I save me.” Friends, this is a good mantra. Keep it in your back pocket. Use it often. Remind yourself how often you have saved yourself from negative experiences such as abusive relationships, toxic work places, financial crises, bad personal habits and addictions, health problems, and even working through, and overcoming grief. Sure, you may have received help from loved ones, and professionals, and your Higher Power, but you accepted that help. (As the proverb goes, “God helps those, who help themselves.”) You faced the problem head on, and realized, and admitted to yourself and to others, that you needed help. You loved yourself. You saved yourself. You loved yourself enough to save yourself. You stepped out of the victim chair and into your personal power. You saved yourself again and again. You showed yourself how worthy you are of love, and kindness, and goodness, and grace. You showed yourself that you could trust yourself. You stopped waiting around for someone, or something else, outside of yourself, to save you. You saved you. It’s the only way.

“I save me.”

Are you passing on love or are you passing on pain? Heal your pain and pass on love.

Soul Sunday

Good morning, soulmates. We are experiencing an extraordinary and lovely weekend here. What is more beautiful than the lush, fully green, fully ripe, late spring days, hinting at the free-spirited summer around the corner? My regular readers know that Sundays are devoted to poetry, a poetry workshop of sorts. Usually I write a poem, although sometimes I share a poem by another poet who has moved me. As always, I strongly encourage you to share your poems, or at the very least, to write one. Writing a poem is the perfect way to have a conversation with your heart and with your soul. Here’s my poem for the day:

Beautiful Days

Today is beautiful outside. We don’t often count the beautiful days.

The counted days are the fierce, savage days,

which insist on being experienced by rapid force,

And held in our memories by fear and prowling.

The beautiful days leave the door open, with a soothing invitation,

to bring inside, the calm, clear colors, and the soft shimmering of the outside,

to softly cleanse and to shine up and to clear up the view,

for the inner core of our very being and awareness.

The beautiful days are gentle and quiet and nourishing,

and far more prevalent than we ever truly care to admit.

The dramatic storms, with their ravenous anger and destruction,

hold us in rapt attention and rumination and trepidation.

The vicious days have made industries of defense and calculation.

The beautiful days just offer themselves freely. Love requires no invitation.

Soak in the beauty of the day. And expect more beautiful days.

Storms are just angry reminders to remember to count the beautiful days.

The storms are just intermittent nudges to bask in the plethora of beautiful days.

Are you passing on love or are you passing on pain? Heal your pain and pass on love.

Bonus thought for the day: It doesn’t really matter what happens. We have very little control about what happens, in most cases. What matters is how we handle what happens.

Happy Furthday!!!

Josie (collie, who turns 3 today): It’s our shared birthday today, dear Ralphie! May I be the first to wish the both of us, a very lovely and Happy Birthday! (prim, beautiful and alert with white-tipped tail swishing, like an overgrown, elegant fox)

Ralphie (yellow Labrador retriever, who turns 4 today): Oh boy, oh boy, oh boy! (jumping around and licking everything in sight, hitting a few notes on the piano with his chin and leaving some dog slime on the keys, grabbing a now formless/headless toy and running around the house with it, tail going like a helicopter blade)

Trip (Boykin spaniel, who is a little over a year old): Treats!!! Does this mean treats?!? Does this mean lots of treats?!? Does this mean extra treats?!? Huh?? Huh?? Huh?? (springboards off of the couch and exuberantly and fearlessly jumps on top of Ralphie, despite $600+ dollars worth of training to stop this behavior, so as to not be mauled by Ralphie, a large dog who has 70 pounds on him, and a huge retriever mouth, full of sharp, white teeth. Ralphie, despite having a saint-like amount of patience, has shown that even a Labrador retriever’s renowned patience has its worldly, and understandable limits.)

Camera pans on Ralphie, the yellow Lab, dreaming of what his perfect birthday would look like: Ralphie, swimming in the pool from dusk to dawn, with his whole pack, humans and dogs, all swimming with him, and throwing his disgusting, wet, soggy toy into the pool endlessly for him to retrieve at the surface, and even from the bottom of the pool, and then clapping for him, enthusiastically, each time, as if we have never seen him do this 800,000 times before. Ralphie only comes out of the pool once, for a whole, hot, delicious steak, fresh off the grill, without even having to beg for it.

Camera then pans on Josie, the elegant collie, dreaming of what her perfect birthday would look like: A day when herding Ralphie, while he is swimming in the the pool would not be necessary, because Ralphie would not be in the pool. A day that the squirrels stay in their own nests, in the neighbor’s yard, far, far way, so that she does not have to worry about those icky, little squirrels dirtying up our trees and our lawn. A day when there will be no deliveries from Amazon Prime, so she can save her voice. A day when Trip would stand still long enough, so that she could tidy him up, licking him carefully, as if they were both Fancy Feast Persian cats. Josie, enjoying a long, long, long wonderful walk with no kids roller skating nor skateboarding on the sidewalks, to disturb her peace and comfort.

Trip, the boisterous Boykin spaniel: F*ck birthdays! I do whatever I want to do, every day!! Give me another treat!!

Are you passing on love or are you passing on pain? Heal your pain and pass on love.

Monday Fun-Day

This feels like the story of my life, lately. The mystery of why I came into the kitchen (well, I might as well get a snack, while I’m in here) . . . . why am I looking at my calendar? Am I sure that I even wrote on my calendar, whatever it is that I am searching for? . . . . Oh no! Something smells mildew-y. I forgot to put the clothes in the dryer! . . . . Where are my glasses and phone? Oh, they’re on top of my head and next to my ear (frightening true story) . . . Did I already take my vitamins? . . .

Funny quote for people who grew up in the 80's, especially those who are forgetful or have mom brain. #quotes #funnyquo… | Funny quotes, Inspirational quotes, Words

Pin by ???????? on Funny! | Funny quotes, Real life quotes, Just for laughs

Are you passing on love or are you passing on pain? Heal your pain and pass on love.

Holding Space

I saw this on Twitter from the Inner Practitioner’s feed. This “holding space for someone” is such a hard skill to learn, yet it is so valuable. I thought that I would “hold space” for these instructions, on my blog, so that it is something that we can all pull back up, and refer to, as a good reminder.

Thank you, readers, for your constant support. I am so grateful for the part you play in my blogging experience. Enjoy your day. Have some fun!

Are you passing on love or are you passing on pain? Heal your pain and pass on love.

A Thought Collection

Sometimes I look at some of my journals which are filled with thoughts that make me ponder, make me feel, make sense to me at a deeper level, and that’s all that is needed. I don’t need to expand on someone else’s genius. I’m just grateful that they shared what needed to be said. Here are some of my favorite latest thoughts, gathered from other brilliant sources:

“He who has peace of mind disturbs neither himself nor another.” – Epicurus

“What some people call stress, I believe is rebellion of the heart.” – Iyanla Vanzant

“Rejection is almost never personal. Though it comes naturally to treat it as though it is a barb aimed at our very being, that instinct is confused, mistaken and does absolutely no good to heed. That reason most rejection is not personal is that it can’t be. Most people don’t even know us well enough to reject us personally. They are usually saying no to a small sliver of what we offer the world. More often than not, the reason they say no is that the offer does not seem like a good fit for them and their needs.

If you are a size 10, you’ll have to pass on the size 3 jeans. Even if the size 3 jeans are the best in the entire world, the jeans are of no use to a person who cannot wear them.” – Holiday Mathis

“With a few flowers in my garden, half a dozen pictures, and some books, I live without envy.” – Lope De Vega

“You can’t use up creativity. The more you use, the more you have.” – Maya Angelou

Are you passing on love or are you passing on pain? Heal your pain and pass on love.