My blog is devoted to poetry on Sundays. Poetry has a way of penetrating one’s emotions like no other form of communication. I read this poem, which I am going to share below, the day after the Texas elementary school shooting massacre. When I looked for a good copy of it to share today on the blog, I found it in the form of a Ted Talk. I can think of no better poem to share today than The Opposites Game by Brendan Constantine:
Are you passing on love or are you passing on pain? Heal your pain and pass on love.
Are you passing on love or are you passing on pain? Heal your pain and pass on love.
Is there any more delicious of a feeling, than basking at being home, and being unscheduled at home? After experiencing over a month of one major thing to do, or place to go, after another, being at home right now, in this moment, feels luxuriously restful, safe and rejuvenating to me. There is no bed that feels more comfortable than your own bed, and there is no place on Earth that you feel more yourself, than your own home. I have often thought that sometimes the absolute best part of being away from home, is the appreciation that you feel for home, when you return to its loving grace. It is not surprising to me, that when people pass on, their loved ones are often comforted with the words, “He’s at home now. She’s home now, and at peace.” Home is equivalent to peacefulness and tranquility and comfort and serenity. Peacefulness is our true home.
During the pandemic, my family and I had a weekly “movie night”. On “movie night”, all six of us (including my eldest son who lives in another state) would watch a movie chosen by one of us (we all took turns picking out the movie of the week to watch) at the same time, and then we would talk about the film afterwards. My middle son chose Goodfellas for us to watch during one of his turns to pick a movie, and I remember thinking, “Why?? Are you serious?!? I’ve already seen that movie like a million times!” And then we watched it, and Goodfellas was, of course, amazing. In fact, in the end, we all ranked all of the movies that we had watched over those several, long months, during those never-ending days of lockdown, and Goodfellas turned out to be our universal favorite out of all of the movies that we had watched together. So today, on FavoriteThings Friday here at the blog, I choose Goodfellas as one of my favorite classic movies of all time. Pop some popcorn, sit your bottom down on your couch, and watch Goodfellas once again tonight. You won’t regret it.
Today, we are still at freshman orientation at my daughter’s university which is the same university that her three older brothers attended. We are at our fourth freshman orientation of the same university, within eight years. My takeaway of this particular orientation is that the pandemic has made all of us a little rusty. This version of freshman orientation is a little more subdued, a little less seamless, and a little more jaded. This is the first time that we have had to watch a seven minute video on what to do in the case of an active shooter on campus. Watching this video was horrifying, terrifying and honestly, the most quiet and somber energy which I have ever experienced in a large ballroom, full of people. I believe that we are all trying to get back to a peaceful, comfortable, serene “normal.” It’s going to take some time and some patience and some compassion for us to get there. However, we will get there. We will. Believe it.
“To me being a gangster was better than being president of the United States.” -Henry Hill, Goodfellas
Are you passing on love or are you passing on pain? Heal your pain and pass on love.
I am here at the freshman orientation at my daughter’s university. This entire month has been a whirlwind of activity and all of it with emotion attached to it. I am eager for a quieter, more steady month in June.
Since I have four children, I have had the interesting experience of being considered one of the young moms for my eldest son (I had him when I was 25), and one of the older, more seasoned moms with my daughter, our youngest child. All four of my children have (or will have) attended the same university. At this point, I honestly think that I could run this orientation myself. Still, it is new and fresh and exciting to my daughter and I am thrilled for her. I am also thrilled for all of the first-time university parents who will attend today’s events with wide eyes and lumps in their throats. Today, in my older, seasoned mom role, I want to hug all of them and let them know that it will be okay. It’s all going to be okay. In fact, it’s going to be great. This is just another doorway into new and fresh adventures for the entire family. And it will be amazing.
Are you passing on love or are you passing on pain? Heal your pain and pass on love.
Hi friends. It’s been a crazy morning here. I like this quote. Mistakes happen. We all make them. It’s a matter of learning from them. If you learn from your mistakes, they can be some of your greatest strengths and blessings. Mistakes can create the best next notes you have ever played.
Are you passing on love or are you passing on pain? Heal your pain and pass on love.
We have a fancy bowl filled with stuff like this. We add to it about weekly. Unfortunately, I can’t write a long post this morning. I have to get my son and his girlfriend to the airport. Sob. So much good happened over this weekend which I haven’t had the time and solitude to process. I have savored every moment (that flew by so fast), but that’s the fun of reflecting on, and processing major moments in your life – you get to savor them all over again.
Are you passing on love or are you passing on pain? Heal your pain and pass on love.
Are you passing on love or are you passing on pain? Heal your pain and pass on love.
Good morning, readers. Today is poetry day on the blog. It’s always fun to play with words and that is what poetry is – just playing with words. When our children are little, and they are trying to communicate, we often say to them, “Use your words.” Today I say, “Play with your words.” Here is what came out of my own word play today (Have a wonderful rest of your weekend!! Stay in the moment and savor it all.):
When you were my baby girl, I fondly gazed at your tiny toes,
And when you were a little girl, I dressed you up in bows.
When you were in middle school, I soothed your highs and lows,
And when you were in high school, we loved shopping for your clothes,
Watching you graduate yesterday, my face glows and my heart grows,
You are a golden girl who will have a wonderful life, this your mother knows.
It struck me the other day that I have lived long enough to see plenty of the amazing, fresh new things on the market, later become worn and tired relics. In other words, I am old enough to have experienced many whole life cycles of many, many ideas and products. This came to mind out of nowhere. For some reason I started remembering back in the early 1990s, when I was a textbook salesperson. (Yes, that position is a real thing. A textbook salesperson goes into professors’ offices and tries to convince the professor to adopt their publisher’s textbook, so that the 8000 kids taking Introduction to Biology, will have to purchase said textbook. Don’t hate me.) Anyway, back then, “email” was the new thing. Most of my professors whom I called on, still preferred receiving telephone calls and voicemail messages. They did not even look at their “emails.” A few “cutting edge” professors started insisting on emails only. Nowadays, it seems like email is only slightly more of an upgrade to snail mail. We all have a million examples of this. Technology is changing so quickly, even our twenty-something kids have experienced a few product lifecycles of something going from “latest and greatest” to graveyard in the wink of an eye.
In my readings this morning I was reminded that acceptance is not consenting and approving, but more so, an awareness of the way things are in a moment. Acceptance is a detached noticing of what is happening. Acceptance is being fully aware of “what is.” When I find myself getting curmudgeonly about they way things are changing in my lifetime, and I stubbornly start sticking my feet into the sand, I am reminded that nothing remains “the it” thing/person/way of being/way of doing things, for long, especially these days. Having been at a Disney amusement park recently, I was reminded of what it is like to be on their imaginative thrill rides. Entering into the ride car, you realize that the whole ride and experience is really just made-up, creative, imaginative fun, despite how realistic these rides now seem to be. You get on the ride, and you surrender to the experience, trying to soak it all in – the feelings, the sensations, the thrills, the fears, all the while, never taking the ride too seriously. In the end, you know that you will get off of the ride, and everything will be okay. You have the expectation that you will arrive safely back to normal. Perhaps there is an analogy here?
Are you passing on love or are you passing on pain? Heal your pain and pass on love.
I love this visual. Honestly, the times that I’ve had to climb myself out of holes were a whole lot more daunting, but ultimately, a whole lot more satisfying and confidence building, than just climbing up a hill. I think that this illustration also reminds us that we aren’t all starting at the same starting lines in life. Some people have to climb up rocky cliffs, just to get to the base of the mountain.
Later this morning, my husband and I will be signing our updated wills, and other end-of-life paperwork. Our attorney assures us that this means that we will live forever. “Look at the news! Did you ever notice that it is only the people without insurance whose houses flood?” she quipped (and then handed us our invoice). We have been meaning to get this paperwork updated for quite some time, but when my mother-in-law became quite ill last summer (she’s much better now, thankfully) and there was a scramble for paperwork, it became evident to us that this chore needed to be moved up a few notches on the to-do list. I only bring up this morbid tidbit because I saw this quote over the weekend which was a real gut puncher to me:
“Everyone in your life will have a last day with you and you don’t even know when it will be.” – Poem Heaven (Twitter)
Wow. What if every time you were with someone, you thought, is this what I would want their lasting impression of me to be? And this doesn’t always imply death. Think of all of the people from your past whom you no longer associate with in your life. They’ve had their last day with you. Did this last day represent your true and earnest self? Was this last day petty or pure? Unfortunately, it is usually our final moments that leave “lasting impressions.”
I realize that I may be coming off as somewhat of a Debbie Downer this morning. I don’t want this to be your impression of me. Ever. I am a seeker. I am always trying to find the meaning in the meaningless. I am always trying to clean up my view on things. I like to clear the brush and dance in the sunshine. Do know this. I appreciate you. I am grateful for you being here for me. I appreciate writing to you, and communing with you, versus just putting my words out into some void. I love you, my readers. Have a fantastic day!
Are you passing on love or are you passing on pain? Heal your pain and pass on love.
I am feeling a little “deep” this Monday. It must be the eclipse or the fact of my youngest child’s looming high school graduation. As Rumi, the wonderful poet said (back in the 1200s, no less), “Life is a balance between holding on and letting go.” Timeless. As Carl Sagan said, “Magic.” I think that Rumi’s quote is the very definition of creating a loving, warm, happy family – finding that just right balance of “holding on and letting go.” It isn’t easy. Balancing anything takes concentration, stamina, and determination and desire.
Another quote I read yesterday that stuck to my heart was this quote from Alex Winter about the recent death of the actor, Fred Ward. “He always elevated the films he was in.” Isn’t that a wonderful thing to notice and to say about someone? Is this perhaps a wonderful goal for anyone to achieve? What if your goal was to be an elevation of whatever situation you are in, at any time? “He or shealways elevated the life he or she was living.” Can you imagine what this world would look like if we all just tried to elevate ourselves in any situation which we find ourselves being in, on a daily basis?? I like to believe that if we all tried to do this, we would see a lot less of the pain and horrors that have become a staple of our everyday news.
I’m sorry to turn what is often a silly day on my blog into “Deep Thoughts”. I’ll close with a laugh, how about that? Here is one of Jack Handey’s best deep thoughts:
Are you passing on love or are you passing on pain? Heal your pain and pass on love.
