Happy Super Bowl Sunday. There’s excitement in the air for a lot more than just football. There are the commercials (my personal favorite – I was a marketing major, what can I say?), camaraderie, food, and the halftime show. My husband played football throughout high school and even into college. There’s a thought that most men don’t feel comfortable showing any emotion other than anger. I think that a lot of men hold so much of their emotion inside, that what is finally expressed isn’t so much anger as it is more of a brewing pot of stored emotional energy that urgently explodes. Perhaps football is a game of collective explosive emotional energy? Sundays are devoted to poetry on the blog. Today’s poem is offered up by Etsy’s PersonalWordsmith.
Are you passing on love or are you passing on pain? Heal your pain and pass on love.
“It isn’t just talent. You have to have something else. You have to have a kind of nerve.” – Georgia O’Keefe
I saw this quote the other day and I thought, isn’t that the truth? You can’t be at the top of your game at anything that you set out to do, without nerve. There isn’t any dream which you set out to do that is completely without risks. The bigger your dream, the more you have to let go of self-consciousness. You have to face your fears head on, and decide that whatever it is that you want to do, and that you feel compelled to do, is more important than your doubts and your fears. It takes nerve to be the fullest, most authentic version of yourself. Talent is just the raw material. Nerve is the ability to take that talent and run with it.
Red Canna by Georgia O’Keeffe
Are you passing on love or are you passing on pain? Heal your pain and pass on love.
Happy Friday!! Happy Best Day of the Week!! On most Fridays, I try to keep things light and frivolous. On Fridays, I discuss the fun, material stuff in life. On Fridays, I list a favorite product, or book, or website, or whatever, that has added some zest to my own life. Please share your favorites (if you are so inclined) in my Comments section.
On an aside, my aunt recommended the movie Genius to me, which is about the relationship between the writer Thomas Wolfe and his longtime editor, Max Perkins. (who also was the discoverer/editor of F. Scott Fitzgerald and Ernest Hemingway) I watched the movie last night and I enjoyed it greatly. The reason why I bring it up today, here on the blog, on “Frivolous Friday” is that at one point in the movie, Thomas Wolfe laments about how ridiculously unimportant and frivolous his job as a novelist is, in light of the horrors of war, and of The Great Depression. Max Perkins tells Thomas Wolfe that he believes that it was the storytellers, around the fires of ancient men and women, who kept the tribe feeling safe and focused and occupied, while dangers lurked all around them in the way of wild creatures and harsh weather. In that way, perhaps the storytellers helped to keep the tribe inspired, cohesive, and distracted, (and maybe even alive) when they needed to be. The point being, perhaps nothing really is frivolous in life, right? Everything has its meaning and purpose. Nothing is important, and everything is important, all at the same time.
So in getting back to today’s “frivolity”, my favorite for today are “shackets“. I’ve noticed many people wearing them around, particularly as winter is slowly morphing into spring. Shackets are shirts that are heavier than most shirts, so they double as jackets, but they are not so heavy, as to be needed to be taken off when worn indoors. Shackets are usually flannel and they make a lovely, convenient compliment to an otherwise plain outfit of a turtleneck and jeans. A shacket is a must-have for every wardrobe.
And a bonus favorite: I have moved on from my once, tried-and-true favorite Eucalyptus Spearmint Bath & Body Works wallflower plug-in refill scents, after years of trying all different aromas. My new favorite: Sun-washed Citrus. It smells amazing and it is actually long lasting! If these refills can make a room, where two sweaty young men housed their dirty clothes/shoes (and God knows what else?) for their entire teenhoods, while their huge, loyal, earthy smelling Labrador retriever slept with them every night, now smell like a beautiful, refreshing orchard that you actually want to spend a fair amount of time in, Bath & Body Works Sun-washed Citrus Wallflower Refills, are nothing short of aromatic miracles.
Have a fabulous weekend, friends! See you tomorrow.
Are you passing on love or are you passing on pain? Heal your pain and pass on love.
I know that I have a fair amount of fellow writers who follow this blog. Thank you. I feel so honored by this fact. I was thumbing through my current “inspirational notebooks” (see above) realizing that I would have to start a new one soon. I only have a few pages left in this one. My inspirational notebooks are a huge part of my writing process. Anytime I see a thought provoking quote, or I get a meaningful greeting card from someone, or a particular picture in a magazine moves me, I tape it, or I handwrite it into my notebooks. (I probably have about 3-4 filled notebooks now) Obviously, my notebook is messy and scribbly. It’s just for me. It’s not a scrapbook. It’s not for show. (I’m not nearly that neat nor patient.) Also, I’m an old fashioned gal. I like tactile stuff. I like paper calendars and pretty folders where I keep longer printed articles. I like to touch and hold things that have meaning to me. I remember things better if I hand write them. Here are a couple of recent quotes I quickly jotted down in my current notebook seen above:
“There is only one success – to be able to spend your life in your own way.” – Chris Morley
“Fate described – No matter how hard you try to for something not to happen and it happens anyway.” – Kristin Fontana (I thought that is was a really interesting take on “fate.” Fate is usually used in a romantic context, like “It was fate that they should be together.” Usually I think that fate would be described as a happening occuring, despite all odds, because it is just meant to be. But, in these last few years of witnessing loved ones suffering from serious illnesses, I understand Kristin’s description of fate, much better, unfortunately.)
Since I just shared these quotes on the blog, I write a light squiggly line through them, so that I remember not to repeat them here, but I can still read them, and let them continue to inspire me. I refer back to my notebooks many times. As my regular readers know, I consider this blog and my notebooks to be my “museums of thought.” My notebooks are my own personal “museums of me.”
On an aside, the sea turtle peering at my notebook in the video is one of my many knickknacks. I wish that I weren’t a knickknack lady, but I am totally and completely a knickknack lady. My knickknacks inspire me like my notebooks inspire me, plus I love to support local artists, and small shops, and antique collectors. The sea turtle was being sold by a street artist at a local fair. It’s paper mache and I adore him and his sweet face. The artist was an older, bearded man who almost seemed shocked that I wanted to purchase his little paper creation. Unfortunately, he wasn’t getting many visitors to his small, inconspicuous stand. I was thrilled to make him happy and I am grateful that he was willing to sell the sea turtle to me. I love my happy, little sea turtle (and the artist loved the sea turtle). We creators know that we are bravely giving away a little bit of ourselves (and a little bit of sweet, vulnerable love) with each of our creations that we share with the world.
Now circling back to my fellow writers, what is your writing process? What inspires you? How do you keep your notes? Is everything in your head? Computer files? Do you allow yourself to be inspired in your own special way? Are there new processes which you can utilize to dig deeper into getting to know your truest self, and thus helping you to find your truest writing “voice”? Answer me in my comments, if you like, but most importantly, answer these questions for yourself.
Are you passing on love or are you passing on pain? Heal your pain and pass on love.
So yesterday, I went to the dentist, hat in hand. I have been having tooth pain for about two or three weeks now. I am not the best dental patient. Not even close. My teeth have had lots (and lots) of work. I warned my husband that I would probably be out of touch for most of the afternoon because my guess was that my dentist was going to send me to the endodontist for a root canal.
They got me into the chair. They took an X-ray and I dejectedly waited for the doomful report. “Wow! This is a rare thing! I’ve only seen this one other time in my entire career. I can even remember the patient’s name (Ramon), this is how rare it is!” my dentist (who is several years older than me) exclaimed, calling all of his hygienists in, to look at my X-ray with him. “Should I be worried right now?” I asked my dentist, with a sinking feeling in my stomach.
“No!” he said kindly, patting my hand. Bottom line is that it turns out that I have bone growth, which was my body’s immune reaction to a previously decayed tooth. This bone growth was pushing into one of my tooth’s roots, causing my pain. Everything in my mouth is healthy. There is no decay. Apparently this bone growth only occurs in about two percent of people, and it is a mark of a super strong immune system. All that my dentist had to do was to file down some of my molars and to (once again) remind me to wear a night guard when I sleep. My pain was from grinding my teeth which forced this bone growth to irritate the root of my tooth. I was out of the dentist’s office and free to go home within 20 minutes. I am pain free this morning.
Molar of the story (wonk wonk): Don’t always assume the worst.
Are you passing on love or are you passing on pain? Heal your pain and pass on love.
“. . .Just start to feel the natural rhythm of the breath. Notice the shift between the inhale and the exhale. And start to notice that point where the inhale pauses and makes way for the exhale – and the exhale fully releases and makes way for the inhale. Notice that moment in between one and the other. This change is happening all day long. And it is a necessary one. As we shift back and forth from inhale to exhale, we’re given what we need and we get to release what we don’t. . . . you might even use these words as a little affirmation. On the inhale, just hearing in your mind: “I’m receiving what I need.” And on the exhale: “I’m releasing what I don’t.” ” – Chani Nicholas, meditation on Change
This is a wonderful meditation that you can go to any time that you take a pause, and you focus on your breath. When we get anxious and upset we tend to breathe shallowly and we almost kind of hold our breath. We are afraid to let go, but if we think of letting go as releasing everything that we don’t need, it’s such a freeing, peaceful thought. Everything that we need is provided for us when we just breathe. We take what we need from our inhales, and then we exhale and release what don’t need. This constant process of change which happens in our lives is just moving towards what we need, and releasing what we don’t need, in order to live a happy, peaceful, fulfilling life.
Are you passing on love or are you passing on pain? Heal your pain and pass on love.
Are you passing on love or are you passing on pain? Heal your pain and pass on love.
With respect to keeping the privacy of loved ones, this is a list of some lessons I learned, or at least was reminded of this past weekend:
+ You don’t have to go it alone. People are mostly kind and merciful and want to help you. Let them in. Let love in.
+ Don’t be quick to judge the crazy lady, in the pikachu hat, who repeats herself constantly in your local eatery. She may just be a beautiful, creative person who has early dementia and is worried about her spouse, who is the love of her life. She has people who care about her and animals whom she deeply loves. And she’s not homeless. She’s probably wealthier than you. She actually has three homes, and is a multimillionaire.
+ Your body is like Shel Silverstein’s Giving Tree. It will do everything that it can to keep giving and giving and giving to you, no matter how you treat it, but eventually it will have nothing left to give. Treat your body with respect and care. Don’t treat it with disregard. It is the vehicle that allows you to live life. Without it, nothing else really matters. You will not be able to live a full, free life without a healthy body. All of your accolades, all of your accomplishments, all of your dreams, all of your wealth and possessions mean nothing without a healthy body. Health is your ultimate wealth.
+ People in the medical fields are an astonishing mix of deep compassion and scientifical stoicism. They are a special breed and they are doing their best every single day. And their “best” is typically a lot better than the rest of our “best.” Treat them with gratitude and appreciation. It goes a long way.
+ You never regret being there for people. But you must also show up for yourself. It’s an airline mask cliche (put your mask on first) but it is so true, you cannot take care of others, unless you take care of yourself first. Caretaking is strenuous, stressful, emotional and physical work and it will break you down, if you aren’t careful. Make sure that when you consider how to take care of others, you put yourself into that equation.
+ Never, ever give up hope. Losing is going to hurt whether you hoped or not. So keep hoping. When there is life, there is hope.
Friends, I don’t have it in me right now to do one of my traditionally frivolous Friday posts. I know that “the show must go on,” but I’m not a good faker. I never have been. We are on the brink of unexpectedly losing another extended family member and it’s a lot to bear right now.
The truth is, I love to play around with pretty things and fun products and to read excellent books and to get engaged in interesting movies, because I love life. Even in the tough times, I love the experience of being alive. I love the sensations of seeing beautiful things, hearing lovely music, smelling amazing scents, feeling all different sensations on my skin and tasting wonderful food. I make no apologies for being happy, and actively and fully loving my life and looking forward to each of my days and experiences. It’s what we’re supposed to do. I love Aliveness and it hurts to see people lose their gift of Aliveness, no matter what the state of their physical health. As we all know, it’s not really the things in life that matter. It’s the people whom we love, and the very act of being in love with life itself.
Today, this Friday, please do at least one of your favorite activities with at least one of your favorite people. Feel what it is like to be fully immersed in the feeling of love, and of joy and of awe, and of passion, for the experiences that you are having, living a life here on this overwhelmingly beautiful and abundant world. Have compassion. Be kind. Stay in the moment. Find serenity in your faith. Have the courage to feel your feelings fully. Make your own precious life your most absolute favorite possession, and decorate it and celebrate it and submerge yourself in it because one day, it will be gone. And all that matters in the end, is that you savored and favored your life when you had it.
Are you passing on love or are you passing on pain? Heal your pain and pass on love.
Yesterday morning I woke up grumpy. Nothing inspired me, nothing interested me and nothing really held my attention. Some of my friends said that the blog post that I wrote yesterday (about finding joy, even in the banal things of life), inspired them, and that made me feel like a fraud. I had to go back and read my own blog post to remind myself that I mostly write this blog as messages and reminders to myself, about how I want to live my life. I had to remind myself to find the joy in the every moment.
Today I woke up early, chirpy and chipper and engaged. This morning, I am finding everything that I read to be enlightening, interesting, hilarious and inspiring. I have at least a hundred memes/quotes/stories that I could share on the blog, which have somehow touched me and moved me. Nothing in my life has changed drastically in the last 24 hours. The circumstances of my life (the good, the bad and the ugly) have remained stable from yesterday morning until this morning. Perhaps I am bipolar, but it is more likely that I am just human. It is interesting to me, just how much our moods can affect our own engagement in our own lives. Which brings me to the most resonating (to me) quote, of the many that I enthusiastically and voraciously read this morning:
“You don’t have to make it work. You have to let it work.” – Alan Cohen
This is a lesson in life, that despite having a myriad of examples from my own life and from the examples in many others’ lives, that I think that I will have to keep learning for the rest of my life, and maybe even beyond. Sometimes you just have to let bad moods be, knowing that they will change to good, without rhyme or reason as to why. This is so against our human nature. We Americans, in particular, have had it drilled into us to “Make it work.” “Make it happen.” “Just do it.” We’re not good at “letting it be,” or as Alan Cohen states it, “Let it work.” We’re not good at letting things evolve in their own way, in their own time, with the solid faith, that with or without our fretting and sweating, things always have a way of working themselves out, often in the most meaningful, unexpected perfectness of ways. And it’s usually in our moments of surrender, when we finally (often out of utter exhaustion and dejection) get out of our own way, that we get to be the awestruck witnesses to the splendor of things working themselves out beautifully.
Are you passing on love or are you passing on pain? Heal your pain and pass on love.
