Tag: hope

Saturday Musings

Are you passing on love or are you passing on pain? Heal your pain and pass on love.

When we dropped off my middle son at medical school earlier this year, there was a beautiful fountain on the medical campus, with this inscription engraved around the circumference:

“So many of our dreams at first seem impossible, then they seem improbable, and then, when we summon the will, they soon become inevitable.”

It felt so fitting to see that lovely quote, as we were watching our son embarking on his dream of going to medical school which he had worked so hard towards, for so many years. It turns out that the quote is by Christopher Reeve, the incredibly inspiring actor and activist, whose birthday would have been today. Christopher Reeve also said this:

“Once you choose hope, anything’s possible.” Always choose hope. When you look back at your life, you see so many things which have worked themselves out, in the most amazing, unexpected ways than you could have ever imagined, right? Hop on the hope train, and never get off. Always keep hope in your back pocket, as you journey through your life adventures. Hope’s compass always points north.

On a less serious note, I passed a store window the other day, and I saw this:

As my long time readers know, back in 2020, during quarantine, I temporarily lost my mind (didn’t we all?) and I decided that our family needed to get on the pandemic puppy bandwagon. My husband was not on board, mostly because we already have two other young, large, energy-filled dogs, Ralphie, the Labrador (the one who is currently on a diet, firmly against his will) and Josie, the elegant, yet noisy collie. Still, in the end, we “compromised” and we got Trip:

Now, honestly, I can’t pretend that having a three dog family is necessarily an ideal situation. I fully admit that there is often quite a bit of chaos, involved with living with three energetic, young dogs. That being said, all of us, in our family, have fallen quite hard for our crazy little Trippy. Interestingly, Trip has chosen my husband as “his person” and although he won’t ever admit it, I think that my husband is just a little bit smitten with our little brown dog.

“Dogs are like potato chips. You can’t have just one.”

“The reason a dog has so many friends is that he wags his tail instead of his tongue.”

“When an 85 pound mammal licks your tears away, and then tries to sit on your lap, it’s hard to feel sad.” — Kristan Higgins

“This home is filled with love and dog hair.”

Night Seasons

Are you passing on love or are you passing on pain? Heal your pain and pass on love.

There’s a few good things that are interesting to note, when you are going through one of your “night seasons”, as my aunt calls it. First of all, it’s the numbness. My mom used to call this “God’s anesthesia”. Yesterday, after my son’s seizure, while I had a few periods of crying jags and deep sadness, mostly, I was numb. I felt mostly calm and numb, and this was not caused by any kind of chemical outside of my body. When you go through a trauma, usually your merciful body numbs you right up, so that you can handle whatever you need to do. I think that this is a really nice standard feature of our bodies. I deeply appreciate the initial numbness.

Another thing that your night seasons show you, is that there are so many people who love you and who you can lean on. When you have several people in your life who you can call and/or you can text, and you can feel their deep care and empathy, it means the world. I think that I have friends of every religion praying for us right now, and this feels so great. Yesterday, one of my friends told me that her entire Baptist Church’s prayer warriors were “on it”, and another one of my more “new age” friends told me that she believes that people with epilepsy are getting downloads from God which the rest of us just can’t handle. She told me that my son is probably one of the most enlightened people on Earth. I don’t know if this is true, but all of the prayers and the insights brought me comfort. All of them did. God has many channels. Don’t ever be afraid of saying “the wrong thing” to someone who is hurting. I can always tell true care, over indifferent judgment and arrogance, and that’s never in the words being said. Ignorance being delivered with love, can be cleansed down to just the “love” part. Always err on the side of reaching out. I appreciate all of the love and the prayers from everyone, including my beloved readers of this blog. It sustains me. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.

The final insight about your night seasons, is that you get the reminder that people are mostly kind. Most people don’t want to witness other people’s pain. We had so much kindness bestowed on us yesterday, by perfect strangers, as we often do, when my son has a seizure in public. People want to help. People want to show you that they care. It’s traumatizing to witness a seizure, but people seem to overcome their fears, to act with deep concern and warmth and tenderness. Did I ever mention that EMT people are some of my favorite people on this Earth? They always make my son feel so good, and just like he is one of the “regular guys.” Yesterday, the EMTs got a good laugh with my son, when they reminded him that when my son was first coming out of his seizure, and they asked him who is president, in his hazy confusion, he said, “Lamar Jackson” (who is the quarterback for the Ravens). They all, including my son, got a big giggle out of that one. The EMTs made my son feel like he is a real stud (because he’s a big gym rat, who also attends a prestigious university), just when my son needed it most. These simple, empathic kindnesses are noticed by me, always. Always.

When you are in your night seasons, numbness, your own spirituality (and a big helping of others’ spirituality), and the overall kindness of strangers is what gets you through to the sunshine right around the bend. God has many channels. Yourself, your loved ones, and often perfect strangers, are the passageways, which God uses to get you safely to where the sun rises again. We are in good hands – our own hands, the loving hands of our friends and family, and the kind, empathic hands of strangers, which all come together to form the biggest hands of all. And these Big Hands are firmly and securely holding all of us with Love. This I know.

Heart to Heart

Are you passing on love or are you passing on pain? Heal your pain and pass on love.

Today I am sending you a hug. And it is not a quick, little reminder that I love you, like the cute little “o” attached to the “x”, in a fleeting text, unless that is really what you would prefer. This is the kind of hug that is full of acceptance. This hug is a careful recipe full of “I know”, “I understand”, “It’s okay”, “You are not bad”, “You are not lost”, “I can help hold you while you feel your feelings, and then I keep holding you, as you release your feelings and let them pass on by”, “You are stronger than you know”, “You will survive and you will even thrive,” “You are doing great”, “You are more loveable than you could ever fathom”, “I see you”, “We are in this together”, “This too shall pass”, “Just breathe,” and all of this is held together by an extremely strong substance called Love.

One of the great things about being a 50-year-old woman is that my hugs pack a lot of punch. My hugs have a lot of experience and lessons and perspective, and also a curious mix of powerful strength and yet also gentle humility, built right into them. The recipe for my hugs has been simple-d down to the mostly “tried and true.” Did you ever get hugged by an 80-year-old woman? Your grandmother, perhaps? Let me tell you, those hugs are the real magic elixir. Those hugs will heal what ails you, for weeks and weeks to come.

Hugs bring hearts into extremely close proximity. Hugs help to transfer some of the deepest love and wisdom planted in one heart, into the other heart, all of the while reminding the receiving heart that all that it needs to keep on steadily beating, is already readily available and ever-replenishing, from its deepest depths. Hugs are like gentle, natural defibrillators.

Please pass on my hug today. Someone in your life needs one, no doubt. Don’t be afraid to offer a hug to a loved one, a friend, your dog, yourself. Soak it in. It’s good medicine . . . . I know . . . . I understand . . . . It’s okay . . . . I love you.

So here’s your hug: o

Or if you need more, here’s your hug: oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

Pass it on.

Tall Mountains and Starry Nights

When we are taking our evening walks, my husband often talks about how wonderful it would be, to gaze at all of the stars at night, if we didn’t have so much light pollution. Scientists have figured out that there are about as many stars in the sky, as we have grains of sand on all of the Earth’s beaches. That hardly seems possible. But when I saw this picture, the possibility became more real:

Photos of Silk Road on Twitter: "A starry night in Bamyan, Afghanistan, Silk Road. http://t.co/diSn3l6Ozt #silkroad http://t.co/42zppkwZpU"

This is what a typical starry night looks like in Afghanistan. When I stumbled upon this picture, I could hardly believe that it was real, and I was equally aghast at where it was taken. There are thousands of pictures on the internet of Afghanistan’s beautiful, starry nights.

Haiti Travel Guide - Beach Travel Destinations

This is a picture of a beautiful land that was the first land in the Western Hemisphere to abolish slavery, sixty-five years before the United States did the same (which, when you think about it, is equivalent to practically a whole generation of freed people). This is a stunning picture of Haiti.

Where there are people and places on this Earth that are deeply hurting and full of fear, we can pray for these people and places, and we can give to honest charities that are helping the innocent people in these places, but we must also hold these innocent people and these places in high esteem, so that they remember how truly amazing and beautiful and strong and unique and needed, they are in this world. In order for anybody, or anything, to rise from the rubble, to overcome grief and pain and fear, they must have hope. Hope comes from an intrinsic belief in oneself, and our individual and our community abilities to rise from any challenge. Hope is a beacon of light that we must keep as bright as the starry nights of the darkest night in Afghanistan. Hope gives the overreaching views from the summit of the tallest mountain in Haiti, Pic la Selle (the third tallest mountain in all of the Caribbean islands), by showing the country in a whole different perspective – a God’s eye view, perhaps.

Hurt people hurt people. Many times hurting people have lost the innate knowledge which hope gives to the rest of us. Hope is knowing that we are so much more than what our little, naked eyes see, and what our computer-like, analyzing minds like to process in roundabout, insolvable puzzles. When we look and we gaze upon others, as if they have the power of the greatest Love inside of them (because they do, we all do), they are reminded of just how truly amazing and powerful they actually are, when they take off the shackles and the shrouds of their own warped perspectives of fears, and of isolation, and of helplessness. We must help the hurting peoples and lands of our world, with acts of kindness and charity and compassion, but we must also gaze upon them with a knowingness that helps them to remember of just how incredible they really are, and what amazing feats they are capable of, and that their intrinsic worth is their birthrights, from the moment that they took their first breaths as innocent newborn babies. We must remind them with our wise knowingness, that when the Love inside of them is made the only leader in all that they do, they are eternally invincible and full of hope. In the meantime, to hone our own skills, we can practice this wisdom on ourselves and on those right around us. Let’s let Love lead the way in all of our lives. Love has all of the answers. Usually it’s easier to remember this fact, when gazing at the stars, or looking all around at all of the magnificent views from the tops of sturdy mountains. That’s because when we gaze at the wonder of the stars and of the mountains, we are looking at them through the lens of our deepest Love. Let’s try using that lens on everyone and everything. Imagine the beauty to behold!

Are you passing on love or are you passing on pain? Heal your pain and pass on love.

How Do You Spell It?

A friend of mine’s son just graduated from boot camp. In her pictures, my friend and her son look so full of relief. I think that relief is one of the most underrated emotions in the world. Relief feels almost as good as love and peace and happiness. Relief marks the end of suffering. Relief is when you finally get an answer to a question. Relief is finishing and crossing off all of the stuff that you have written on your to-do list. Relief is looking in the rear window of an event you had been anticipating and working towards for a long, long time, and then having completed it successfully. TUMS made “relief” their major selling point and marketing campaign. We love the feeling of relief.

In the beginning of the summer, I was feeling a lot of relief about the coronavirus. It seemed like it was really going to be behind us. All of my family and friends got vaccinated. We were even able to go on a nice family vacation, and out of the country, to boot. But now this damn Delta variant is ripping through my state. I personally know two vaccinated people who have tested positive for Covid. I believe that they are going to be okay, but it is so frustrating and disappointing and upsetting to be dealing with this virus, all over again, just when we were feeling so much relief.

I just read The Gift by Edith Eger, who survived the Auschwitz camp during the Holocaust. Edith said that a main reason why she survived the camp (she was found by the Allied troops, starving, on top of a pile of dead bodies) was that she was able to hold on to hope. She said that the definition of hope is knowing that suffering is temporary, and staying curious about what comes next. It is best to focus on how much relief we will feel when this coronavirus really dwindles down to not even being newsworthy. The hope and the anticipation of the wonderful feeling of relief (because all suffering is temporary) is what will sustain us through whatever else this pandemic brings our way.

17 Inspiring, Hope-Filled Quotes From Famous Writers | Writer's Relief

Are you passing on love or are you passing on pain? Heal your pain and pass on love.

The Definition of Beauty

I watched a snippet of an interview Oprah Winfrey was having with Sharon Stone. Sharon Stone has written a recently released memoir. In the snippet, Sharon Stone was saying that after having a stroke, and being told that she was pretty much “over” in Hollywood, she realized that she had lost her “beauty.” Oprah asked her to clarify this, “What do you mean you lost your “beauty”? Sharon Stone told Oprah that it was not so much that she had lost her physical beauty, as she had lost her “radiance”, her “magnetism”, her “presence” and her “vibrancy.” Both women concluded that it is these attributes which really make a person attractive. And they both agreed that radiance, magnetism, presence and vibrancy all come from health, well-being and confidence from within.

Yesterday, I had a good day. I saw a glimmer of confidence and hope and excitement, everywhere I went. People are really starting to believe that there is an end in sight to all of the limits that have come with the pandemic. I could feel it. Nothing in my physical world was different. Everyone was still wearing masks, but the energy had subtle changes. There was a lightness, an optimism in the air. Maybe I was feeling this way, and so this is how my outside world appeared to me. I’m not sure, but for whatever reason, yesterday, the world seemed more beautiful to me, than it had seemed in a long, long while. And when I say beautiful, what I really mean is radiant and magnetic and vibrant. Life is coming back to life. I feel it inside of me, and I feel it outside of me. We are well on the way to healing from this past unfathomable year, my friends. And this healing is radiating, and vibrating, and bringing all of our lives out into full, mesmerizing color, once again.

Healing Quotes | Healing Sayings | Healing Picture Quotes
14 Quotes About Healing Your Heart and Emotional Wounds
150 Inspirational Healing Quotes, Prayers, Sayings and Images

Are you passing on love, or are you passing on pain? Heal your pain and pass on love.

And Then, My Response

“We can be good at approaching life with perspective. My husband says that ninety percent of what is beautiful, meaningful, and useful in the world is visible in a ten-minute walk. I love this, but it does not always ring true with my PhD in morbid reflection.” – Anne Lamott

I think that I may actually be Anne Lamott, and her husband, all wrapped up in one.

“In the depth of winter, I finally learned that there was in me an invincible summer.” – Albert Camus

In Florida, winter is actually the easier, more temperate weather season. Summers can be brutal. It really does all come down to perspective, doesn’t it?

“At some point in life, the world’s beauty becomes enough. You don’t need to photograph, paint, or even remember it. It is enough.” – Toni Morrison

My photographs, artwork and short-term memory are all sorely lacking. This is an easy sell for me, Toni.

“Mom, Thank you for always being there for me whenever I need support or guidance. As I am about to leave the nest, it is nice to know that I can always count on you. (That particular period, ending the previous sentence is heavily bolded and accentuated. The phrase “for advice” follows this period, but the “for advice” part was decidedly and emphatically crossed out.) I feel very lucky to have you as my mother! Thanks for giving me my wings.” – my eldest son

I found the above quote, while cleaning out our office closet this past weekend. Needless to say, it was the highlight of the weekend, for me!! This quote was found in the middle of an old, used up notebook that belonged to my eldest son, filled with college graduation to-do lists, and trainee notes from his new job. My guess is that my son had been practicing writing me a card or a note?! I may have even gotten “said card” a few years ago, when my eldest son first left home for his new adult life, but it fully touched my heart to find his words, and to read the note again (and again and again and again). The Universe sends us exactly what we need, all of the time, if we really pay attention. Look for the signs. They are all around us, all of the time.

Are you passing on love, or are you passing on pain? Heal your pain and pass on love.

I’m doing my best to pass on love. Passing on my pain, isn’t very pretty. It usually involves yelling, spewing nasty words, and doing these terrible actions while sitting firmly in my Imperial Victim Chair.

Headed Home

My husband said in our family text chat, that he thinks that 2021 is going to be like 2020, in reverse. We asked him for clarification and he said that spring was the big turning point in 2020, of having to accept the coronavirus, and all of the changes it was making in our lives. My husband thinks that spring of 2021, will be the big springboard of taking us much closer to “normal” again.

Before my husband gave his own explanation, I immediately envisioned the long hikes we have taken as a family, over the years, in many of the National Parks. Living through last year, was much like climbing the uphill part of the hike. The uphill part of any long, challenging hike is exhausting, frustrating, full of trepidation and yet also, anticipation. Sometimes you feel like you aren’t going to make it. You keep wondering, “Is this hike ever, ever going to end?” You start to concentrate on just the next step and then, the next step. Then, when you finally reach the summit, or the pinnacle, or the destination of your hike, the views are clear. The relief is palpable. One time, after my husband and I climbed to the top of Camelback Mountain in Arizona, I literally started sobbing at the top of the mountain. I felt so much relief, release, pride, exhilaration, and exhaustion, all at once, and the emotions hit me like a hurricane. So, in staying with my hiking analogy, we’ve come to the destination of hope, with this virus. We have a panoramic view of hope. We have created effective vaccines, but we still have the hike down the mountain, of getting everyone vaccinated, and assimilated back into some close form of our previous normalcy. The downward part of the hike is usually so much easier. It usually goes so much faster. There are still tricky, slick areas and you must be careful, but it always feels surmountable. And the destination at the end of the hike, is a known entity. It’s your family car that reliably takes you back to your loving, warm, safe, comfortable place that you call home. Friends, we are headed home. Doesn’t that feel good?

Everest

In 1953, Edmund Hillary and Tenzing Norgay were the first people ever to reach the summit of Mt. Everest. Before that time, it was believed that this feat was not even possible. By the end of the year 2016, 4,469 people had successfully climbed to the top of Mt. Everest. Some of them more than one time. In 2018, the most people reached the summit in any one year, 800 people, to be exact.

This year, we have proved that a safe, effective vaccine for a deadly virus can be made in less than a year. In fact, we have proved that more than one vaccine for a deadly virus can be produced in less that a year. What has been a devastating disaster, has also proven to be a beacon of hope and wonder and proof of our amazing, inventive abilities. We have helped future generations who may have to go through pandemics, by our successes and our mistakes, throughout this ordeal. This is why we study history. Studying history is not about memorizing dates and names. It’s about learning from our experiences, and providing a template for the humans who come after us. Is it possible that a far deadlier virus is likely to come to this Earth, in the future? Is it not also likely, that because of our experience with the coronavirus, and the vital necessity to find a vaccine, we will prevent lives lost, not only now, but also into the future, with our better, expedient vaccine creating science and techniques? I recognize that this fact, does not take away from the pain and the terrible losses which we have suffered throughout this COVID crisis, but it gives some meaning to all that we have been through. Those who died, did not die entirely in vain. Their deaths lead to the deep sense of urgency, to find a way to stop the spread of the virus, quickly and effectively. And we did it. We created several effective vaccines in less than a year. This has never happened before.

On a personal level, this is a reminder to never say never. Don’t lose your dreams. Don’t lose your clear visions for yourself, for your family and for this world. Be a believer. Don’t stay mired in “impossible.” Anything is possible. Study history. Be inspired by the visionaries, the inventors, and the desirers for a better world. Be the change you want to see. Believe that the best is yet to come. Believe in the best of yourself and of others. Climb your own personal Everests, and create a life that heals and nurtures you, and safeguards you from negative forces. The world will be uplifted for your own uplifted being. Step into the power that has always been inside of you, and inspire others to do the same. If we use this year, and the hard lessons that came with it, to help us to step into our higher powers (as so many of us already have, in so many ways), nothing will have been in vain. Nothing. And the world will shine like never before.