gratitude Archives - Adulting: Second- Half

Ingratitude

“Not using your talents is an act of ingratitude.” – Holiday Mathis

My husband was telling me that he read an article that stated that Thanksgiving is quickly becoming America’s favorite holiday. He said that the article suggested this is because Thanksgiving is less commercialized than other holidays, and it is focused on gratitude. It always feels good to feel gratitude. It always feels good to be reminded of all of the plenty and abundance in our lives. When people list what they are grateful for the common lists seem to be: family, friends, home, health, food, pets, savings, etc. That’s why when I read the above quote this morning, it gave me pause. If someone were sitting around the Thanksgiving table and they started spouting how thankful they were for their intelligence, their creativity, their physical prowess, their beautiful singing voice, their gardening skills etc. we might think to ourselves, “How arrogant!”, but yet, we all benefit when people use their talents to the best of their abilities. Our Thanksgiving feasts are delicious because talented cooks came up with the recipes. We are entertained Thanksgiving Day by the talented singers and dancers and musicians and float creators that start with the Macy’s Day parade. We often watch amazing athletes later that day, playing football and other sports. Many of us went to go see Wicked over the weekend (my daughter and I among them) and besides the incredible actors, the talent that went into making that movie from the writers, to the special effects people, to the directors, etc. etc. is a list as long as the credits that are played at the end of each film which we see.

I often would spout to my children, “Actions speak louder than words.” Gratitude is an action. When we are grateful to be alive, our actions reflect this. When we are grateful to be able to do, and to enjoy the things that come naturally to us, we are giving ourselves (and the world) the gift of gratitude in action. When we squander our gifts and talents, that is like throwing a present away in the face of the Bestower. Don’t be humble. Be thankful. Share your gifts with the world. They are singular. No one does anything like you do it, and no one will ever do things exactly like you do them, again. Don’t cheat yourself. Don’t cheat us. The opposite of today’s quote is: “Using your talents, is an act of gratitude.” Today, be your gratitude.

Are you passing on love or are you passing on pain? Heal your pain and pass on love.

Veterans, in Gratitude

In a time period in history, where “service to self” seems to be the common theme, it is an honor to pay our greatest respects to amazing people who give themselves to something bigger than themselves. Is there anything more brave, selfless, honorable than this? Veterans, thank you. Thank you. Thank you.

Are you passing on love or are you passing on pain? Heal your pain and pass on love.

Soul Sunday

Good morning. I hope that most of you got to enjoy another delicious hour of sleep. This morning I just read an uplifting story about a little boy who felt instantly connected to an unknown woman at a hometown stadium. He asked his parents if he could go talk to her, and they allowed him to, and the woman and the little boy sat together and laughed and talked as if they had known each other all of their lives. I had a similar experience this past week that I am still trying to wrap my head around. It was one of the most blessed experiences of my life and an answer to prayers. Look for the signs, friends. They are everywhere. Here is my poem for today:

“Adira”

Meeting you was surreal.

I recognized you the moment I walked into the room,

And you recognized me.

Although we have never met on this plane before.

Never have I felt so instantly connected and seen.

Never have I felt so united in Truth.

Never have I felt so instantly full of peace.

Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.

Miracles abound.

Your name means strong, noble and proud.

A feminine word for God.

You are your name. You exonify it.

But that is beside the point, isn’t it?

The point is, all of us are the nameless points of Light.

The nameless points of Light which forms All That Is.

All That Is Love. Love is all that is. Love is.

Are you passing on love or are you passing on pain? Heal your pain and pass on love.

Ring Ring

In Indonesia, the words for “thank you” are “terima kasih,” which, if you translate them literally, mean “accept love for what it is.”
– Tamalia Alisjahbana

Thank you, readers, for being here to witness my writing. Accept my love for what it is. I appreciate you.

Yesterday, I did a tiny, easy thing for myself and for the people in my household which will make a major difference for all of us, for the rest of this year and beyond. I figured out how to turn off the ringers on our landline phones. For years now, we have been annoyed and pestered by the loud ringing, often at ungodly times, of the landline phones (one that sits right next to me on my desk as I write).

Now, I already know what you are thinking right at this moment. I’m kind of psychic. You won’t be the first to have this thought. My husband and my kids and my friends have pointedly asked me the same thing, many, many times. Why do we still have landline phones? The long answer is this: I have a very stubborn, obstinate, old-fashioned part of myself whom everyone I care about abhors. However, I adore her. Her reasoning for the landline is this: it’s cheap, it’s a good second option for people to be able to reach you without having to give them your cell phone number, and it’s a great second option for “911” calls. (In case Freddy Krueger shows up at my house, I want backup.) And (consider yourself warned) the more people in her life who ask her, “Why do we still have landline phones?”, the more she digs in her heels.

So, for now and for the unforeseen future, the landline stays. But since the landline’s phone number has been in circulation for a few years now, the telemarketers have it on their primetime lists, and the landline calls at our home have become more frequent, annoying and untimely as time has gone on. So yesterday, instead of yelling, rolling my eyes, picking up the phone and slamming it down on someone’s poor ears or running over to the phone, in a panic, wondering if there was some emergency/catastrophe that I needed to attend to, I actually took the time to figure out how to turn off the ringers on the phones. And it wasn’t hard. It didn’t take much time at all. And I already have been breathing easier, just a day into the peace and quiet which this action has brought to me.

I often talk about self-awareness on this blog. It occurred to me yesterday, that when I feel annoyed and irked by anything, I should use this as a signal to pause and to question whether there is any action that I can take that would change this annoyance in my life, which I have grown to just accept. It’s amazing how many little irritations we just accept in our lives, without questioning if there might be simple solutions to the problem, in order to ease the pain. Are those cute, but pinchy, painful shoes really worth achy feet? Pitch them. Is it possible to easily and inexpensively change out that sticky door handle? Do it. Are you constantly annoyed by someone’s tardiness or rudeness? Know your personnel. Take steps to avert and change any situation that you foresee will annoy you. You are worth it!

I am so happy to have my uninterrupted peace and quiet this morning. I am a little miffed at myself that I didn’t take action to figure out the phone ringers sooner. Still, the past is in the past, and I am now sitting in the peaceful, quiet present, quite pleased with myself. And it’s delicious. And I still have my back-up plan in case Freddy Krueger stops by.

Are you passing on love or are you passing on pain? Heal your pain and pass on love.

Today’s Mantra

These are the memes that spoke to me from Twitter today. I read also on Twitter that Harry Styles is extremely upset about what people are putting out on social media about his girlfriend, Olivia Wilde. He said this about Twitter: “a s***storm of people trying to be awful to people.”

I think Harry is right. Social media can be extremely negative, harmful, mean and bullying. It can also be filled with inspiration, beauty, and wisdom. It’s what you look for in anything, that makes it so. Most people, places, and things are just neutral. We put the meaning and stories and attention into/on the item, or the person, or the relationship to these people, places and things. What is terrible for me, might be wonderful for you. The key is to put the focus on what is wonderful for you.

Are you letting yourself be loved, you grumpy little shit? Earlier this week, I got a root canal and honestly, I haven’t felt this good in quite some time. I realize I had been walking around, ignoring a growing, gnawing problem (literally in my head) that I was hoping would magically just disappear. Most of the time, life doesn’t work this way though, right? Our bodies, and our emotions send signals which grow louder and louder, for a purpose. They are saying, “Let yourself be loved, you grumpy little shit!”

Truthfully, I have more energy and vitality than I have felt in a while. I had the infection removed and my whole body is sighing with relief. My husband read that in the 1800s, people had a higher average body temperature than we have these days, because many people walked around with low-lying infections and diseases that could not be remedied. We have so many remedies these days for so many problems. Are you utilizing the remedies that are needed for your own mind, your own body, and your own spirit?

Today’s mantra is “Let yourself be loved, your grumpy little shit.” (and this means putting a big emphasis on showing love to yourself in your every waking moment, and in every decision that you make for yourself. Love and gratitude radiates outward from a healthy, loving heart. We will all benefit from your healing.)

Are you passing on love or are you passing on pain? Heal your pain and pass on love.

Monday-Funday

*******I feel like my regular readers/supporters/friends/prayer team deserve an update on what has been going on in my life, and yet the superstitious part of me is terribly afraid to do so. I am knocking on wood with my other hand and both of my feet, as I write this. My son (the one who has epilepsy) has managed to string along more seizure-free days than he has done, in a long while. My son is currently on five anti-seizure, heavy-duty brain medications, but we, (with his doctor’s instructions) are carefully weaning him off at least two of these medications. This autumn has easily been the worst, most painful, scariest experience of my life, and that of our family’s history. My son has experienced more major seizures in two months, than he has had, all together, in all of the years prior, since he was diagnosed with epilepsy in 2014. My son is home with us, we are “holing up”, keeping life simple, and pleasant, and in-the-moment. It feels good. We continue to take things one day at a time. We are cautiously optimistic. We (my family and I) feel your love, and your support, and your prayers and we appreciate them so much. I didn’t know if I could continue to blog throughout this period, and yet this blog turned out to be a saving grace for me, many days, while I was going through some real darkness. And you, my beloved readers, helped to pull me out of that dark place many times, just by being here. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. You are appreciated and loved, more than you know.

Surround yourself with positive people who will support you when... | Picture Quotes

Are you passing on love or are you passing on pain? Heal your pain and pass on love.

Gratitude

Happy Veterans Day! There are a lot of veterans in my family, and I am extremely proud of that fact. Thank you, all veterans, for your service, for your sacrifice and for your courage. #GratitudeMission

Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. You are respected. You are appreciated. You are loved.

Starting a new subject, I like the Wise Connector’s tweets (@wiseconnector). Many times, the Wise Connector just asks his Twitter followers questions, sort of like a modern day Plato or Socrates on Twitter. This question intrigued me:

“What are the TWO qualities you seek in a friend?” Out of the 175 replies, these were the qualities that were easily the most repeated: honesty, loyalty, humor, understanding, reliability, authenticity

“If you want a friend, be a friend”, the saying goes. Are you honest and loyal and funny and understanding and reliable and authentic in your relationships with others? Are you honest and loyal and amusing and understanding and reliable and authentic with yourself? In other words, are you a good friend to others and to yourself?

“What’s the best thing in your life right now?” was another recent question the Wise Connector asked on Twitter. Out of 273 answers, once again there were constant similarities to the answers. Most of the answers fell into these categories: family, friends, pets, faith, health, peace of mind, creativity.

This is a good time to meditate on the best things in your own life, and to feel a deep and profound gratitude for these “things”.

Best Things In Life Are Not Things – Puff Paper Co

Are you passing on love or are you passing on pain? Heal your pain and pass on love.

Bags of It

Think Smarter (Twitter) got it right, once again, with the above meme. (damn that Think Smarter, thinks smart!) It is human nature to always be desiring the next best thing. Desire is what keeps us reaching into the realms of possibility, and what helps us to create the marvels of the future. But strong desire and tenacious striving, is best helped along, with a healthy dose of humble gratefulness. As I sit at this large, heavy, L-shaped desk in my writing nook, I remember holding my breath, hoping beyond hope that the movers could make the desk fit into the corner of my living room, so that I could see out of two sets of massive windows, as I do my work. Miraculously, they were able to do it, with only about a half a centimeter to spare. (They really wanted it to work for me. I’ll never forget their kindness and effort. Never. Most often, I experience this kind of earnestness from “the everyman”. I feel sad for people who keep themselves cloistered away from people who aren’t “just like themselves.” They miss out on experiencing some of the most beautiful souls on Earth.) I am sitting at this desk, in a lovely home, which we were renting at first, before deciding that we really wanted to buy it. We had fallen in love with our views from the windows, and the nature surrounding us, and frankly, we really didn’t want to have to move again. I remember praying that we could strike a fair deal with our landlords, to buy it. We did. As my four children, started into the final sprint into their adulthoods (the last lap is always the fastest . . . . sigh), I prayed for a creative outlet to help me to fill the hole and make me feel more complete again. I was lead to start this blog. Thank you, sturdy desk, for fitting in and creating my writing corner. Thank you, nurturing home, for finding a way to become ours, during this transitional stage in our lives. Thank you, Powers That Be, for finding me the right outlet for the words that swim in and around my mind, day and night. Thank you for answering my prayers that lead me into my purpose(s), in this life. Thank you, also, for the unanswered prayers, that saved me from myself. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.

Yesterday, I read a cute article about an adorable and rare black leopard cub, that was born recently in an English Big Cat Sanctuary. They were asking the public to help name her. My favorite name in the running was “Inka.” I loved how the keepers described the baby leopard. In their particular British way, they said that the cub has “bags of attitude.” I’ve reached the age, where anything with “bags of attitude”, secretly delights me. My kids aren’t little sassy children, nor ornery tweens any longer, so “bags of attitude” is charming to me, once again. (Life works in circles, doesn’t it?) Anyway, I thought to myself, maybe this is the way that I should spend the rest of my life, with “bags of attitude”, fully balanced with “bags of gratitude.” It sounds like the right plan for me.

Are you passing on love or are you passing on pain? Heal your pain and pass on love.

Friday Presents

Merry Christmas, my dear friends and readers! It is funny to me, that this Christmas has fallen on my favorite day of the week, Friday. Typically I write about three favorite products or stores or songs or websites, etc. that make my material life magical. There is a nice pile of gifts, under the tree from Santa, so hopefully I’ll pick some favorites from that pile, to write about next Friday. Today though, I want to focus on you, because you, my readers, are a major part of one of my most favorite things in this world, my blog. Besides my family and my friends, this blog is probably the most dear thing, to my sweet little loving heart. Through this blog, I have rediscovered my passion for writing, I have found purpose, I have found my voice, and most importantly, I have been validated and “heard” by YOU. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.

Yesterday, I read the best little story about Weird Al Yankovic’s (the song parody guy) favorite 2020 experience. He said, for as bad as 2020 was for the world, there were real moments of “joy sprinkled in”. Al talked about being a strange, shy, nerdy young boy in the 9th grade, and having a crush on a girl named Patrice, who sat in front of him in math class. He decided to draw a portrait of her, but to keep her off of the scent of his crush, he drew a picture of every single person in that class, and gave it to them (although he said he spent the most of his time and his effort, on hers). No romance ever came of the portrait, but this year, Al saw on his Twitter feed that a woman was claiming to have sat in front of him, in math class, in the 9th grade. He messaged her, asking if her name was Patrice. She said yes. Al then asked if she remembered when he drew everyone’s portrait in the class. Two minutes later, she messaged him the picture of herself that he had drawn many, many years ago. She had kept that lovely, heart-drawn picture, all of these years!!!

People never forget acts of love, acts of courage, acts of kindness, especially when these acts are needed the most. I think a lot about people who have touched my life, especially around this time of year. For some reason, a music teacher I had in elementary school, keeps popping up in my mind. I am sure that she is long gone. A Google search didn’t provide any answers. Anyway, Mrs. Nancy K was probably in her sixties when she taught me in elementary school. Mrs. Nancy K took her job very seriously. Our school’s musical Christmas productions were renowned. She had exacting standards and expected Broadway quality performances from us commonplace kids. Mrs. Nancy K insisted that we stand up straight and proper in our seats at all times (she had an iron rod posture herself). For some reason, I remember how important it was to her, that we pronounce “angels” correctly. “It is NOT anjewels . . .it is An-GELS, enunciate, children, enunciate.” One year I was cast as “a little doll” in one of her Christmas productions. I felt so special. I LOVED being that little doll.

I think that the point of my post is that we give and we receive gifts, to and from each other, all year long, many, many times, and often, these gifts are given quite unconsciously. There are so many people, many of them strangers, who have made a big difference in my days, in my weeks, and often even in my life. You, my readers, are people who have made a tremendous difference in my life. You are a blessing to me. Remember, always, that you are a gift. Your life is a gift to you, and it is a gift to others, not just on Christmas, but all year long. Your very presence is the present you give to the world. There is no better gift that you can give, and you can be, than your most authentic, beautiful self.

Sacred Gift

Happy Thanksgiving, my dear readers. I hope that you know how thankful I am for you. If you don’t know this, please read yesterday’s blog post. It is my “thank you” note to you, and it is filled with sincere love and gratitude from me, to you.

This Thanksgiving holiday is going to be strange and different for many people. It’s going to be somewhat sad and reflective for a lot people and that’s okay. Thanksgiving doesn’t require “forced gratitude.” Gratitude brought about by shame is not a good feeling. In fact, it’s not really gratitude, it’s just ugly guilt. “Shame on you, for feeling sad or lonesome or angry or scared or bewildered! You SHOULD feel so happy for all of the good in your life! Don’t you know how good your life is, compared to so many others?!” (that’s just ugly, judgmental yucky stuff, and that kind of thinking doesn’t bring about any kind of genuine feelings of gratefulness. That kind of thinking just tries to add shame and guilt, to a feeling that is so akin to love (gratefulness), that there is absolutely no room for all that negativity in love’s and gratefulness’ purest forms.) Feelings are just feelings, friends. As a dear friend told me one time, “Just because someone else is having a heart attack, doesn’t mean that your broken toe doesn’t hurt.”

And at the same token, there should be no shame in feeling wonderful this Thanksgiving. In fact, there is no shame if you loved this entire year. There is no shame, if 2020 was your best year ever. We all could use some uplifting this year, and someone else’s joy and happiness, does wonders for raising the energy that surrounds all of us. I pray that there are more of you lovers of 2020 out there, than I think there is, in my simple mind.

Honestly, if I had to pick just one beautiful gift, which I feel that I got from this 2020 experience, it was the gift of having to really look for all of the good, in even seemingly bad situations. It is easier to feel deep, genuine gratitude for the people, places and things in your life, when you are faced with the real possibility of losing them. The gift of acute attention to every blessing in my life, was probably the most sacred gift of 2020. Other years, the good in my life was often taken for granted, or maybe even sometimes “expected”, with an air of entitlement. 2020 brought a “humbling” to a lot of us, but with this humbling comes authenticity. And when you are your most authentic, true self, your feelings are deep and they are raw and they are intense, but remember that includes all of the good feelings, too. When you are being your truest, realest, most authentic self, love and gratitude are incredibly wonderful feelings to experience. Dare I say, I am profoundly thankful for my own gratitude this year, because I feel it at depths, I never, ever knew before.