Tag: end of life

Monday – Funday

credit: @woofknight, X

This Monday actually is a fun day for a lot of us, isn’t it? Happy Labor Day!

Epiphany I had recently when I was out with friends:

On Friday, we were out to dinner with dear friends whom we have been friends with since college, and I was saying something about us being middle-aged. “Are we still middle-aged?” my friend asked. “Of course we are!” I barked furiously, but the truth is, I really didn’t know. It was the first time that I had dared to ask myself if I had gone past middle age. So, the next morning I googled it, and it seems that most officials consider middle age to be 40-60. We are in our mid-fifties, “So yes, Virginia, we are still middle-aged.” We are upper-middle-aged, but we are middle-aged.

Epiphany I had when talking to my aunt:

Also on Friday, I had a nice catch-up call with one of my aunts, and we were reminiscing about her aunt (my great-aunt). Aunt/Great-Aunt was quite the character. She lived her life exactly how she saw fit, and she made no apologies about it. She was colorful, artistic, and had interesting, unusual opinions about everything. We all adored her and we often talk about her still, even though she is long past. One could write a book about her, but to give you an idea, Aunt/Great-Aunt had a parakeet that she taught to say “The Gettysburg Address.” Anyway, my aunt was saying that Aunt/Great-Aunt and her husband were definitely “eccentric.” I agreed. My aunt suggested that perhaps she and I had also inherited a little bit of the “eccentric” gene. I agreed. My aunt then said that her friend always says that “eccentric” is just a nice word for “crazy.” We laughed, but I thought to myself, “Call me “Eccentric” or “Crazy”, it doesn’t matter. I wouldn’t have it any other way.”

Epiphany I had this morning:

At the end of my life, I want to be having such a good time with living, that I want to be like an over-excited kid on a playground or at the community pool, having an absolutely fabulous time, and thus becoming instantly furious and devastated that I am being called to go home, even though in my played-out exhaustion, going Home is probably exactly what I need.

Are you passing on love or are you passing on pain? Heal your pain and pass on love.

Here is the question of the day from 3000 Questions About Me:

973. Do you prefer movies with-or without- special effects?

Endings

We are currently going through an end-of-life situation with a relative and having to slog through the process of agonizing hopes and decisions. I don’t wish this predicament on anyone. It is one of those times in life when you realize that you really never knew what someone was going through, until you are going through it yourself.

I highly recommend watching these two short documentaries with loved ones. Although extremely emotional and difficult watches, they will really help with starting conversations about where everyone stands, on how they would like their end of life to look like. It’s important to know what your loved ones would really want for their own end of life passage into death.

Are you passing on love or are you passing on pain? Heal your pain and pass on love.

The End

An illustration in two panels. The first is labeled, "The strength we're taught to admire" and shows someone getting to the top of a mountain and saying, "I did it!" The second is labeled, "The strength we should also admire" and shows someone pulling themselves out of a dark pit and saying, "I did it."

I love this visual. Honestly, the times that I’ve had to climb myself out of holes were a whole lot more daunting, but ultimately, a whole lot more satisfying and confidence building, than just climbing up a hill. I think that this illustration also reminds us that we aren’t all starting at the same starting lines in life. Some people have to climb up rocky cliffs, just to get to the base of the mountain.

Later this morning, my husband and I will be signing our updated wills, and other end-of-life paperwork. Our attorney assures us that this means that we will live forever. “Look at the news! Did you ever notice that it is only the people without insurance whose houses flood?” she quipped (and then handed us our invoice). We have been meaning to get this paperwork updated for quite some time, but when my mother-in-law became quite ill last summer (she’s much better now, thankfully) and there was a scramble for paperwork, it became evident to us that this chore needed to be moved up a few notches on the to-do list. I only bring up this morbid tidbit because I saw this quote over the weekend which was a real gut puncher to me:

“Everyone in your life will have a last day with you and you don’t even know when it will be.” – Poem Heaven (Twitter)

Wow. What if every time you were with someone, you thought, is this what I would want their lasting impression of me to be? And this doesn’t always imply death. Think of all of the people from your past whom you no longer associate with in your life. They’ve had their last day with you. Did this last day represent your true and earnest self? Was this last day petty or pure? Unfortunately, it is usually our final moments that leave “lasting impressions.”

I realize that I may be coming off as somewhat of a Debbie Downer this morning. I don’t want this to be your impression of me. Ever. I am a seeker. I am always trying to find the meaning in the meaningless. I am always trying to clean up my view on things. I like to clear the brush and dance in the sunshine. Do know this. I appreciate you. I am grateful for you being here for me. I appreciate writing to you, and communing with you, versus just putting my words out into some void. I love you, my readers. Have a fantastic day!

Are you passing on love or are you passing on pain? Heal your pain and pass on love.