The Bright Side

Fortune for the day –“If you wish to be loved, love.” – Seneca

As a getting older person, I admittedly sometimes question all of the fast-based, interesting changes society is going through (me-“Why does that nice, talented young man, Post Malone have so many tattoos on his face?” daughter -“Mom, he’s doing self-expression.” me- “Okay, please promise me that you’ll never self-express that way, okay?”) and all of the new technology and all of the craziness which I perceive that some of these changes, have brought into our lives. However, as I am noticing myself having more and more careless “senior moments”, I have to say that I truly appreciate a lot of the instant gratification and information onslaught, which is available at almost a twitch of my nose, these days.

For instance, my flight landed home, on Sunday, right after the Super Bowl started. (My husband REALLY APPRECIATED my travel scheduling choice – HA!) Anyway, my favorite part of the Super Bowl has always been the commercials, so I was delighted this morning, to just watch every commercial, right in a row (this is the only time in the year that I am very delighted to binge watch commercials) which I had missed, since I didn’t get home until late in the second quarter of the game. YouTube had them all ready and set up for me. I love it!

Another example – Recently I wrote “10:30 a.m.” on my calendar square, for today. Yep, despite my New Year’s resolution to get better about my calendar skills, that’s all she wrote – “10:30 a.m.” Last week, I sheepishly started to ask my husband and daughter if they had any idea what I might be up to, at 10:30 am on Monday. They looked at me like I had two heads. I decided to blot out the “10:30 a.m.” scribble, with a black Sharpie, on my very old-fashioned paper calendar, hoping to blot it out of my mind as well. Still, the question of where I was maybe supposed to be, or who might be showing up to my house this morning, was nagging at me, constantly. Luckily, though, my young millennial doctor, is very tech happy/savvy and over the weekend, I got about 82 reminders via texts, emails, and voicemails that I have a follow-up shot appointment, today at 10:30 am. I suppose that there must be something in my medical chart, vaguely suggesting early-onset Alzheimer’s.

Final recent example, to illustrate my point – my friends and I were discussing TV shows/series that we have enjoyed watching and I couldn’t think of “Fleabag”. (I don’t think that this is part of my growing senior moment memory loss collection, as I have never been great about remembering names of anybody or of anything, since I learned to talk.) Anyway, I googled something like “name of show where dark-haired British lady scares husband in shower.” Google – Fleabag. Just like that. Boom! Drop the mic. I think that’s wonderful. I am paranoid about privacy issues, yet I adore that Google knows exactly what I am thinking/doing/talking about, at all times. Google normalizes me. I love Google for that fact!

So, moral of the story – there are always two sides to the coin and it is best to focus on the bright and shiny side, right? Now, I have to go get ready for my 10:30 appointment. I have to psych myself up for an old-fashioned shot in the arm. Unfortunately, some things never change.

Soul Sunday

Fortune for the Day – “Joy and sorrow are the shade and light of life; without light and shade no picture is clear.” – Hazrat Inayat Khan

Readers, Sundays aren’t just for football. (But hey, Happy Super Bowl Sunday!) Here at Adulting- Second Half, Sundays are reserved for the poetic side of ourselves. Every Sunday, I share a poem and I ask you to share your poems in the Comments. It’s a nice way to dive into the heart a little bit, before the often analytical work week begins.

Life is Love

Perhaps one of the sweetest gifts of aging,

Is a paused appreciation,

Of just about everything.

A wisdom, a hilarity, a knowing,

A peacefulness,

Comes in at the lulls,

more than it every came before.

In the paused moment,

Gazing at the wonder of it all,

Choosing to put the internal narrator on mute,

Even for the slightest moment,

Brings beautiful calming clarity.

The slowing down that comes from growing older,

Inevitably brings more gifted pauses,

All to remind me of one truth,

Life is Love.

These Shoes Weren’t Made for Walking

Fortune for the day –“Fall seven times, stand up eight.” – Japanese proverb

This fortune is really apropos because last night I chose to wear these exotic looking, high-heeled bootie shoes, that are probably meant to just remain on a shelf, like beautiful works of art. And last night, we walked. A lot. And I complained. A lot. It was a wonderful, fun, funny, exhausting evening and my feet still hurt. That’s all I have to say for today, friends. I’ve got to rest everything today. Especially my feet.

Image result for funny quotes about painful shoes

Travel Notice

Fortune for the day – “We are not separate from Being. We are in it.” – Plotinus

Is it just me or has January 2020 just flown by? I literally looked at my calendar this morning and counted the weeks to make sure that I got my fair share of January days. Apparently, I did. This was a recent post from Think Smarter that resonated with me:

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This weekend I am headed out for my annual reunion with my best friends from college. It is always such a mind-clearing, restful, loving experience. Sometimes the reunion is just crazy and funny and all about letting it all hang out. Sometimes the reunion is serious and feels like a continual group hug from start to finish. A lot of the times, it is a mix of both of these things. It also helps to get a break from our every day lives. All of us friends are moms. As moms, we have to manage our own lives and calendars, as well a few others’ lives and calendars. (And truthfully, even though we are technically not supposed to, we secretly worry about the calendars and the care of the kids who we have (kind of) cut loose, as well) So, honestly, sometimes one of the best aspects of going on this annual ladies’ reunion, is to get a little break from all of that planning and plotting that we all do on a daily, weekly, yearly basis. We, on this weekend, as individual ladies, get to choose what one person wants to eat, what one person wants to drink, what time one person goes to bed and what time one person wants to wake up in the morning. We are always hang loose on these happy reunions, because we understand that we all need a breath-releasing break from each of our every day responsibilities and concerns.

Readers, I always bring my computer on every trip that I take during the year, and I typically do a daily blog post. I sometimes contemplate giving myself a vacation from the blog when I am away on trips, but then I say to myself, “That feels like a punishment. I love writing and connecting with my readers. Why would I do that to myself?”

So, I plan to bring my computer with me this weekend. I most likely will do a blog post every day, but if I don’t, just realize that I am doing what is best for me that day. I will be doing what is best to keep my creative juices flowing. I am going to just take each moment, one at a time, and savor it. I plan to just see where the flow takes me, because Plotinus is right, Being knows what It is doing and I am happy to be part of that Knowing. My trip is “going with the Flow.”

Go To Sleepy, Little Baby

Fortune for the day – Let the beauty you love be what you do.” – Rumi

Yesterday I was a cranky little bi-otch. I was Moody Trudy to the extreme. In my younger years, I would have over-analyzed all of my thoughts and feelings relating to this annoying cloud of doom which I carried with me all day, but this time, my older wiser self, said to me, “Oh for goodness sake, don’t be a Drama Queen, you slept terribly the night before. Watch something slightly boring before you go to bed (we did, we watched The Curse of Oak Island . . . for some reason we love this show, although I would never call it scintillating) and go to bed early and you’ll feel better in the morning.”

The older, wiser part of me was right. She takes a no-nonsense approach to life and I secretly find that comforting. Today, I feel so much better. Nothing circumstantially really has changed from yesterday to today, in my life, other than a well-rested mind and body. Ah, what a difference!

Amusing quotes about sleeping, forthcoming:

“I love sleep. My life has the tendency to fall apart when I’m awake, you know?”
― Ernest Hemingway

“Never go to bed mad. Stay up and fight.”
― Phyllis Diller

“Laugh and the world laughs with you, snore and you sleep alone.”
― Anthony Burgess

“There is no sunrise so beautiful that it is worth waking me up to see it.”
― Mindy Kaling

“Some people talk in their sleep. Lecturers talk while other people sleep”
― Albert Camus

Our “Heroes”

RIP – Kobe Bryant, Gianna Bryant and the seven others who died tragically in yesterday’s fatal helicopter crash

The world is mourning a basketball icon. I have to admit that I am surprised by how much this news has affected me and my family members. We like basketball, but we are not rabid fans. We are not from Los Angeles. While Kobe Bryant was an unbelievably good basketball player and a decidedly devoted father, he was not without flaws. None of us are without flaws. I think sometimes that we desperately want to believe that there are the flawless someones, out there among us, and we turn our legends and our heroes and our icons and our celebrities, into what we want them to be, in our own minds, and then we are soul-crushed when they don’t live up to our expectations, and ultimately, when they do what we are all destined to do, and that is to die. It is especially hard when these idols suffer untimely, surprising, cruel, and shocking ends. This is the first time that I can remember that my children and my husband and I, are sharing that same surreal experience, of losing a shared cultural idol, suddenly. Other celebrities who have passed recently, have seemed to be a bigger part of my husband’s and my life’s experience, but this time, my kids are experiencing very clearly, their own sense of mortality, which always comes from these painful, public losses.

My husband and my daughter and I, went to go see the movie “1917” last night. It was a very good film. I was tense and empathetic throughout the entire viewing. After the movie, I do what I always do – I started looking up the history of the film. I wanted it to be “true.” Even more desperately, I wanted the lead character to be “real.” I wanted that character, who was so filled with integrity, courage, humility, valor, perseverance and loyalty, to be based on one very real, “flesh and blood” person. The character, it turns out was actually fictional, and the story of “1917” was loosely based on war stories told to Sam Mendes, (the writer of the film) by his grandfather.

Why do we need heroes and why are we so crestfallen when they prove to be humans, just like us? Could we really relate to a true, bullet-proof super hero? Would we really be able to comprehend a true and perfect super human, and do we really believe that they could fully empathize with us? Do we project the best parts of ourselves on to people who have genius levels of talent, drive, vision, creativity and authenticity? Do these people make us feel more hopeful and inspired, about ourselves and our own lives? Would this hope and inspiration be possible if these people were not in human form, just like us? The greatest religious teachers – Jesus, Buddha, the Dalai Lama, etc. came to this Earth to share their wisdom and love, in human form. They experience(d) amazing triumphs, and devastating pains, just as we do. And because of that, their teachings resonate to the deepest parts of our human hearts and our eternal souls. They are accessible to us.

I am not going to do a fortune today. I am going to end this post with some Kobe Bryant quotes which I think are pretty on-point. No matter what your thoughts (or lack of thoughts) are about Kobe Bryant, no one can deny that he lived his in-born passions to the fullest, and in that way, he served as a wonderful reminder that we can and we should, do the same with our own passions, especially if we want to elevate this human living experience for ourselves, and for others.

“Everything negative — pressure, challenges — is all an opportunity for me to rise.”

“Once you know what failure feels like, determination chases success.”

“When you make a choice and say, ‘Come hell or high water, I am going to be this,’ then you should not be surprised when you are that. It should not be something that is intoxicating or out of character because you have seen this moment for so long that … when that moment comes, of course it is here because it has been here the whole time, because it has been [in your mind] the whole time.”

“The most important thing is to try and inspire people so that they can be great at whatever they want to do.”

Soul Sunday

Fortune for the Day – To change one’s life: do it flamboyantly. Start immediately. No exceptions.” – William James

Sundays are poetry workshop days here at Adulting Second Half. On Sundays I share a poem and I fully encourage you to share your poetry in the Comments section. It’s fun to play with words!! Please give it a try. I moderate all comments and I would never allow negativity in this sacred space, where we share what is on our hearts and minds – openly, freely, authentically. Here’s my poem for today:

invecchiamento

Sometimes I accept the inevitable,

I let it flow,

I’m at peace with it.

Sometimes the frustration builds,

And I try to dam it all up,

Trying to defy the laws of nature

And gravity.

Sometimes I laugh at my acts of futility.

Sometimes I marvel at them.

Sometimes I play the comparison game.

Who of us is doing it better? And in what way?

And does it matter? And do we really have a say?

Sometimes I stop paying attention to the things which I cannot change.

And I am at peace,

I am at peace with aging.

Aging.

Just Hold On

Fortune for the day – “Patience makes lighter what sorrow may not heal.” – Horace

I’m not sure if I like how Horace worded the fortune. I decided to look up translations of the fortune and most of the translators said things that sounded a lot like, “Just be optimistic that you are going to feel better in the future.” I suppose that is the right translation of Horace’s statement. When we are in the middle of grieving something, it sometimes feels like the grief will never end. Someone once gave me an analogy to dealing with grief which I find to be very helpful. When we first experience something that causes us pain, it is a stabbing, searing cut to our soul. It is a horrific pain, but we must allow ourselves to feel the pain, in order for it to eventually heal over, in a healthy way. If we don’t feel it and acknowledge it and cleanse it and nurse it, the grief can become a festering, infected pain that spreads all over us and spills on to others, like a disease. Some things that cause us grief, are slight, like a brush burn. They cause us pain for a brief moment, but then the event is over and the pain scabs over quickly and heals completely, and that pain is easily forgotten. Some grieving that we experience is like, initially large, deep, deep gashes, some so penetrating that they even feel life threatening. However, if just we hold on (sometimes just holding on, a much longer while, than we would like) and breathe through the pain, after a while, the gash starts to scab over. It is still tender when it is touched, but it is not nearly as painful, as the initial shock of the experience that caused us grief. Sometimes the scab will get ripped off again, by an event related to our grief, but this time we know that it will heal more quickly than the initial wound did. Finally, if we hang on long enough, the grief scab turns into a scar. The scar is always there to remind us of the pain that we experienced, but it has healed to a point where it can even be poked at, and the pain is barely felt anymore.

It’s not over ’til it’s all been said
‪It’s not over ’til your dying breath
‪So what do you want them to say when you’re gone?‬
‪That you gave up or that you kept going on?‬‪What do you do when a chapter ends?‬
‪Do you close the book and never read it again?‬
‪Where do you go when your story’s done?‬
‪You can be who you were or who you’ll become
Oh-oh-oh, oh-oh-oh oh, ‪if it all goes wrong
Oh-oh-oh, oh-oh-oh oh, darling just hold on

‪The sun goes down and it comes back up
‪The world it turns no matter what
Oh-oh-oh, oh-oh-oh oh, if it all goes wrong
Darling, just hold on
(Steve Aoki, Louis Tomlinson – Just Hold On (Lyrics)

Fortunate Friday

25 Funny Friday Memes #Friday #Memes

Hello and happy Friday!!! Happy Favorite Things Friday!!! This has been a productive, yet tiring week for me. I’m looking forward to some chill-time. How about you, friends? New readers, Fridays are for frivolous favorites. Typically I list three favorite items, beauty products, websites, songs, books, etc. that make my heart just sing. Please check out previous Friday listings for more favorites and please, please add to the favorites in the Comments section. Sometimes I feel like I am running out of favorites. (as if that was possible) Here are mine for today:

Basin.com Shower Bombs – I’m not a “bath girl.” I only enjoyed baths when I was pregnant and when I was three. I do love me a good, long, butt-turning-red hot shower, though. However, there is a part of me that always felt that I might have been missing out on the bath bomb thing. I even contemplated putting a bath bomb in our outdoor hot tub, but then I also started contemplating the service call price for stuffed up pipes, and I shelved that idea quickly. So, when I found these shower bombs at my local CVS, I jumped on them. They are wonderful! They come in many different scents and they kind of just “sizzle” when water hits them. My FOMO about bath bombs has now disappeared.

PlantNet App – This nifty free app for your phone allows you to take a picture of the plant you are questioning about (say in a random walk in the woods or perusing a beautiful garden), and it immediately sends you links to the name of the plant you are looking at, with all of the care information available at the click of a button. My daughter and I tested it at our local nursery (which had tags with plant names and care information) and the app was “spot on.” Very cool!

Dove Chocolates Valentine Candy (Dark Chocolate Almond Promises) – Okay, I love chocolate. All varieties of chocolate, I love. Typically though, if I am honest, I will choose milk chocolate and even white chocolate over dark chocolate. But, this particular concoction of dark Dove chocolate filled with chopped up almonds, all wrapped up in Valentine foil with the ever-wise Dove fortune printed on the inside, is the bomb! The total bomb! Milk, be gone! Which brings me to the fortune of the day. This fortune comes from the delicious Dove dark chocolate almond promise morsel I just unwrapped and devoured.

Fortune for this fortunate Friday – Find someone to accept you completely.

Fabulous Tidbits

Fortune for today: “Wisdom begins with wonder.” – Socrates

I have filled this week with chores and appointments. It feels good to be getting things completed and checked off of the list, yet I feel scattered at the same time. There are way too many things, ideas, lists whizzing around in my brain. So today, I am just going to drop a couple of random thoughts and trivial knowledge that could be useful down the line, for any of us.

A group of butterflies is officially called a kaleidoscope. I think that fact is just fabulous!

On the way to tennis yesterday, my daughter asked me what is the difference between dots and polka dots. I had no idea, so of course, I insisted that she look it up, right then and there, and school me all about dots. (You would think that my kids would learn by now, that I do not care to leave questions unanswered.) So with eyes rolling, and thumbs Googling, she found the answer and then explained the difference to me. It turns out that “polka dots” is considered a pattern, whereas a “dot” is just one circle in the pattern. “Polka dots” became a named pattern during the time that polka dancing became popular in Europe, because both the dance and the pattern seemed to suggest “fun, light and cheerful.” In Spanish, they call dots “lunares” which means little moons. I think that polka dots/lunares are just fabulous!

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My mentee who is a high-schooler mistakenly calls herself “shy.” I always insist to her that she is not “shy”, she is “reserved” and there is a big difference. My middle son is very much the same way and I always had to correct his teachers on that fact, particularly when he was younger. Both my mentee and my son are fabulous, interesting, engaging conversationalists. They just don’t always have a need for center stage. I admire them for that fact. Think Smarter (Twitter) hit the nail on the head, once again. And of course, you all know by now, that I think that Think Smarter on Twitter is just plain fabulous!

Have a fabulous Friday-Eve, my friends. 🙂