Happy International Women’s Day! Not so happy Daylight Savings Spring Forward Day. Where does the time go?
Sunday is devoted to poetry here at Adulting – Second Half. Thank you. Thank you for coming to commune at the blog, and to read, and to contemplate, and to rest, and to support. Thank you to those of you who have bravely shared your poems in the past. Please keep sharing. This is friendly, safe format – an online poetry workshop, to send our heart waves out in the form of words and of phrases and of nuances. Here is my poetry offering for today:
Spring Cleaning
Grumbling, hesitant, resigned.
Annoyed with the prospect of the task at hand.
Necessary evil, spring clean up, in the yard.
Mellowing, energy flowing, smiling.
Slowly opening to commune with nature.
Family venture, another tie that binds us.
Laughing, singing, glowing.
In love with creation, ours and His.
Everything breathes. Everything makes perfect sense.
We’re done? The project, completed too soon.
I wanted to bottle the moment up,
and to hold it in my hands,
so that I could keep the inseparableness of it all, forever.
I am not sure why, or even if it is healthy, but lately, to deal with the stress that I am feeling, concerning this whole coronavirus situation, and therefore feeling ancillary anxiety about every and all of the other situations, which are also affected by the coronavirus, I have found great comfort in reading books or watching movies about people who are experiencing a great deal more stress (we are talking EXTREME stress) than I am currently feeling. It is said that “comparison is the thief of happiness”, but not necessarily, if you aren’t at all enchanted with someone else’s mess of a life. The movie, which I just watched last night with my family, and the fiction book that I am currently reading, are excellent, engrossing, and have allowed me to discharge and to channel all of that excess fearful, worry-mongering energy into fictional lives. I wonder, perhaps, if this is my way to process the jittery, intensifying energy, safely and comfortably in my own, disinfected home. Granted, it might be a better choice for me, to read about gardens or unicorns or to watch G-rated Disney movies/musicals, or even to just try to gaze at my belly button while counting my breaths, but honestly, I wouldn’t be able to sit still for any of that right now. It is much better for me, to hold tightly to my frenetic energy, in my stiffened joints, while sitting on the edge of my seat, lost in the make-believe world of someone else’s “living on the edge” experiences, and then to be able to release all of that uptight stress, with a sigh of relief, “Oh, relax. That movie wasn’t real. This is a fiction book. It’s all ‘pretend.’ ” If you want to deal with the coronavirus stress with more stress, like I am doing, watch Adam Sandler in Uncut Gems and read American Dirt by Jeanine Cummins. Adam Sandler plays a crazy jeweler/gambling addict whose life is spiraling out of control, and American Dirt tells the tale of a mother and child in Mexico, who are trying to escape the drug cartels, by becoming migrants, and trying to make their way, safely from Mexico to Denver. Both experiences are so thrilling and packed with twists and turns, that you will, in no way, be able to move your mind to the scary COVID maps on the computer, or to the cashier who coughed all over your receipt at the grocery store. Who knew that the remedy to dealing with stress is to add more stress? You’re welcome.
Fortune for the Day – “To be wronged is nothing unless you continue to remember it.” – Confucius
My heavens, it sure is easy to REALLY appreciate Friday, lately, isn’t it?! Sometimes getting to Friday, feels like rock climbing, on a very precarious ledge, with crumbling pebbles of Monday and Tuesday and Wednesday and Thursday, falling to the ground way below, as we claw our way to the weekend. I hope that this Friday, finds you all well and calm. We’ve made it. We’re here, at the pinnacle of the week – Friday. New readers, Fridays are devoted to the outside pleasures of life, here at Adulting – Second Half. I call it Favorite Things Friday. On Friday, I list three things that have made my life a little snappier, such as songs, beauty products, books, websites, food items, desserts, etc. etc. I strongly encourage you to add your favorites to my Comments section and to check out previous Friday listings for more favorites. We could all use a “pick me up” these days, right? Here are this week’s favorites:
This is my first favorite. What a great, empowering video and song. Demi Lovato knocked it out the park with this one. This is a great one to share with our daughters, granddaughters, nieces, friends, ourselves, and maybe just anyone we know. Be warned, Demi does use profanity, but it definitely drives the point home. Demi is a rock star, in every sense of the word!
AHA Sparkling Water – This is the latest addition to the seltzer scene. No sugar, no calories, but great, interesting flavors, plus an added bonus of some electrolytes and 30 mg of caffeine. My son was complaining to me that there wasn’t enough caffeine in it, so I told him to just hush up and pour himself another can. No calories = no guilt. I feel like a traitor, sharing this favorite, being a loyal fan of Lacroix, but honestly, AHA is a great switch up. I recommend both brands, if you are a seltzer water fan.
Rock Your Hair Hot Curls Thermal Curl Spray – I’ve used hot curlers in my hair since the 1980s. I’m not coordinated enough, nor patient enough, nor skilled enough to use a curling iron/curling brush/flat iron, etc. I don’t feel comfortable wearing my hair entirely straight, but unfortunately, straight and limp, is my thin (and getting thinner) hair’s “go-to position”. Worse yet, my hair shares my totally stubborn streak in its DNA and goes to straight, almost as soon as I remove my curlers. This product is the first product which I have found to give me any kind of hope for keeping my hair’s curl for longer than 10 minutes. Like all hair styling products, a little goes a LONG way.
And finally, the Fortune of the Day: “Opportunities to find deeper powers within ourselves come when life seems most challenging.” – Joseph Campbell
Have a great weekend, friends and readers!! Stay well!!
Fortune for the Day – “With our thoughts we make the world.” – Buddha
I am getting sort of fatigued from feeling this fear, frustration and worry about the coronavirus and other troubling headlines. I think that this is a good sign. I think that I am slowly climbing out of my “lowlies” into, perhaps, anger. Of course, part of this anger is because we were supposed to have new garage doors installed today and the doors did not make it on to the truck, for reasons unbeknownst to seemingly anyone. I am sure that my surge of anger is probably related to that event, as well, but I still think that there is more to it.
I once worked for a woman, who sadly lost her brother to cancer. She sunk into a deep depression for which she basically sat on the couch and stared into nothingness, for months on end. Every day she would call me and she would casually mention that she would not be coming into the office, like this was a novel, unusual surprise. Then one day, after many, many weeks, my employer popped into the office with a swirling energy that was an exponential of her already high powered, energetic nature. She was full of ideas, and visions for the future. She was radiant. She was back to herself, and then some. We quickly got back into the groove of her business. A few weeks later after her return to work, we got to talking about her “come back” and she told me that she just got sick of feeling miserable. She got sick of herself. She got sick and tired of feeling sick and tired. Her plain disgust with her misery, propelled her off of her couch. My boss all of the sudden realized that she could not spend even one more day sitting on her couch. Now, my employer had every right in the world to feel her deep pain and she never once lamented about any wasted time on the couch. She needed to process her great sadness, in just the way she did it and in just the amount of time that it took for her. Then, my boss took all of that stored energy that had gotten recharged into her body and her being, as she sat stoically and quietly and patiently on her couch, and she put that stored energy towards sideline businesses that honored her brother’s memory and made her feel passionate about life again. She also used that time on the couch to reflect on things that weren’t working in her life and she then made those changes, even moving from a home that she had lived in, for decades.
This is an extreme example of something that I think we all do, throughout our lives, at different levels. Our energy levels spike and wane, according to how we are feeling and thinking and reacting and doing. We are not static by nature, as individuals or even as a whole humanity. I think a big part of any major victory or healthy change for anybody or any society, is that we get tired and bored of ourselves when we are in a standstill. We can only wallow so much before something has to give. I think that we are at a crescendo point here, as a whole. And I think that we are all about to rise up from our couches, and to target and funnel that still, but charged energy to a rising up of feeling good, feeling energetic, feeling passionate, feeling positive and feeling whole again, despite of all of the seemingly negative events happening all over the world.
I noticed this morning, when I took my dogs out, that the birds were singing their symphonies, the wind was gently blowing my chimes, the water was flowing steadily in the lake, and there were the usual, beautiful groups of deer quietly chewing on grass, on the way to school today. Nature was just doing its every day thing, oblivious to news and fears and politics and disappointments and sadnesses. We sometimes (strike that), we often forget that we are part of nature, too. Our minds are amazing, but sometimes it may be best to shut off the minds, sit on the couch and gaze out of the window, at nature doing its thing. That may be the best thing that we can do for ourselves, until the energy builds and aims itself towards the passions, the interests, and the miracles, that make us feel good again.
“Sometimes I go about in pity for myself, and all the while,
Despite my proclamations in my blog post yesterday, yes, I did check the news and yes, I did touch my face. A lot.
I typically consider myself a person who feels anxiety more than the average Joe. So when average Joe starts showing signs of his easy-going facade cracking and crumbling, I really start to wig. I hate collective anxiety. I usually consider anxiety, an annoying quirk of my own creation (I sometimes see myself as a prettier, younger, non-pervy, but totally neurotic female version of Woody Allen), so when I see anxiety in every one whom I come in contact with these days (despite my best efforts to be a hermit, and to remain in my own little hole), it really is a bit disconcerting. I saw this quote on the internet a while back:
“Drama does not just walk into your life. Either you create it, invite it, or associate with it.”
I did not create the coronavirus. I am not that diabolical. So far, I have not come down with the coronavirus, nor has anyone in my family and friends circle. We are all washing our hands a lot. We have not invited the coronavirus into our inner circle. However, I am associating with the coronavirus, a hell of a lot more than I should. Checking the news continuously, being on hyper alert for every sneeze and cough, watching the hourly fluctuations of our stocks, rationing our toilet paper, are all activities that are not at all helpful to my mental health and thus the mental health of those around me. Drama is not good for me. I must own the part that I am playing in associating with the drama of the coronavirus. I cannot control where this coronavirus situation leads to, in the future. But I can control taking care of the health of my body, taking necessary precautions, and then doing my best to let the rest go. My mental health is a big part of my overall health. I need to walk the talk of my faith. I can let this coronavirus situation be a dramatic over-the-top, punctuated, highlighted lesson of how I sometimes allow other situations (political/interpersonal/social, etc.) grow and bloom and take a life of its own, in my own mind, until my mind is stuck on a 24/7 channel of a ridiculous, overly dramatic soap opera or news feed. And then I’m stuck in that situation where, although I can’t stand the show that I am fixated on, I can’t seem to find the fortitude to turn it off.
“Fear and control is a Lincoln Log. We cannot give up our need to control (illusion of control) unless we are willing to relinquish our fear; we cannot give up our fear unless we stop trying to control. The two are inextricably linked. Where we are fearful, we try to control. When we try to control and invariably fail, we become more fearful.” – Anne Wilson Schaef
“Trusting the process of life isn’t about taking your hands off the wheel. It’s more a matter of holding on to the wheel and just the wheel – controlling what you can and letting the rest soften and blur in the side window as you pass.” – Holiday Mathis
I am going to create the “Fortune for the Day” from things I cut out and taped to the cover page of my 2020 calendar:
Fortune for the day – “Tend to your vital heart, and all you worry about will be solved.” – Rumi
I will not look at the news today.
I will not look at the news today.
I will not look at the news today.
I will not touch my face today.
I will not touch my face today. (You have no idea about how much you touch your face, until some entity tells you not to do it. I was literally resting my head in my hands, reading the warnings about not touching your face, due to this %$#^&**^ coronavirus.)
I will not touch my face today.
Today, I will do my best to heed Rumi’s above-mentioned advice. My two middle sons are home for their spring break from college. Due to studying needs and lack of money issues, home for spring break became their best option for this year. Staycation, home sweet home. Can I get a whoop, whoop?
“What can I do to make this break at home for you guys, “special?”, I asked them yesterday, as I took a brief pause from Twitter’s CoronavirusFlorida2020 and threw a frozen pizza into the oven.
“Oh don’t worry about it, Mom,” my second son said, earnestly. “I already knew that it was going to suck.”
Now, in all fairness, this son has spent this break, so far, taking practice MCATs, which are eight hour long tests, a pop. That does suck. This is the same child who once told me that he didn’t like to have get-togethers with his soccer team at our house, because I act too “homely.” He doesn’t mince words. In drawing that conversation out a little bit more, while trying not to get hysterical, it seems he meant that I behaved a bit too down-home friendly and welcoming to the soccer boys, not ugly. From then on, I knew to be much bitchier when his soccer mates came around. Ha!
I will end today’s ridiculous, pointless blog post (give me a break, I spent all day yesterday obsessing about the coronavirus and had little time to read or to watch anything actually more interesting and worthwhile, than every three minute coronavirus updates) with an idea my friend texted earlier. We middle-aged women should really be renamed, “Queenagers.” I love it! My Queenager-ness trumps all teenagers, living at the house and otherwise. Today I am a Queenager who will not watch the news nor touch my queenly (not homely) face.
If you want a clean looking coronavirus map, with the numbers readily available to you, I have found this Johns Hopkins version to be the one to be very reliable and easy to understand, as I check it up to 183 times a day:
I have turned this whole coronavirus thing into an interesting self study on my multi-faceted personality. I realize that I am sort of “flip/floppy.” I go from opportunist zeal of “let’s buy downtrodden stocks!”, to wanting to run to the bank, pull out all of our money and stuff it in our mattress. We made plans in a couple of weeks to celebrate my daughter’s birthday at one of the Orlando theme parks. I go from, “Oh awesome! We won’t have to wait in line for anything!” to giving my daughter mature mommy lectures on life’s disappointments, and the realization that we can’t always get what we want, and we will likely have to cancel, if Mickey doesn’t cancel on us first, as I stuff yet another Vitamin C in her mouth before dropping her off at school, while desperately looking for anyone who is coughing, and not into their elbows. I admittedly have a couple of boxes of things that I have ordered online with “Made In China” stamped on the boxes. Despite having sprayed the boxes heavily with Lysol, and leaving them out on the back porch for days, I haven’t found the need to open them up just yet. I tell myself that this is a good lesson in delayed gratification, which I think is important lesson to exercise, in these days of being spoiled by Amazon Prime. I have also kept the shipment of our favorite Illy coffee (made in Italy) in our garage, as I have driven to Starbucks for my daily caffeine hit, the last couple of days. But my face burns in shame, when my kids tell me I’m being xenophobic. But then I get uplifted in pride, thinking, “At least this health scare is teaching my kids big words – words that aren’t slang words! The upside of all of this, is an expanded vocabulary.”
I’m a mess. I’m an out of control see-saw. If I don’t get myself back to center, I’m going to fall hard on my butt. I know this too shall pass. I know that most people who get the coronavirus experience it as nothing more than a bad cold or a flu. I pray for a quick and easy recovery, for anyone who is unfortunately, infected. At this point, my own body is probably mostly made out of Zinc, Vitamin C and echinacea, with an outer layer of Purell coating. Even though I am not a crafty person, I’ve learned from Pinterest, and with much practice, I am now an expert on how to make homemade surgical masks out of paper towels and rubber bands. And I have always purchased expensive, thick paper towels. (Viva – the ones that are like washcloth material – worthy to be a Friday Favorite) I’m iron clad. The logical side of me says, “Lady, you’ve taken all of the necessary precautions. Keep calm and carry on. No more excuses to not do bills and laundry.” The hysterical side of me says, “Quit writing, fool, and check the Johns Hopkins page again – NOW!” Here’s the link again (I’ll see you there):
Fortune for the day – “How we spend our days is, of course, how we spend our lives.” – Annie Dillard
Welcome to Sunday. May this first Sunday in March, be particularly calming, soothing, comforting, and re-setting. May this Sunday find you surrounded in such peaceful tranquility that you can’t imagine ever coming out of its trance of repose. Remember, when you make/allow/find yourself feeling good, you, in turn, uplift the entire world.
Readers, Sundays are dedicated to poetry here at Adulting – Second Half. I strongly encourage you to share your beautiful souls in the form of poems in the Comments Section. My new friend and fellow writer, Walberto Campos, has written a strong, poignant poem about his father’s experience with Alzheimer’s disease. I will be publishing that one in the Comments section. Please read it, and please, too, publish your poems in the Comments section. The world can never have enough poetry. Your poems give others permission to share their souls, as well. In poetry, our souls are bared and veiled, all at the same time, which is why I think that we all find poetry so mystifying, yet gratifying. It is so easy to find our own experiences and emotions in almost any poem. Poems are powerful. Here’s my poem for today:
My Little Flower
My little flower grows in someone else’s garden.
Yet, perhaps by providence,
by a Source who loves us both,
I have been assigned to some of her care.
(and perhaps she has been entrusted with some of my care, too)
She is tiny and fragile, yet beautiful and radiant.
She keeps her glowing, purple bloom, reaching towards the sun,
Always. She chooses the sunny side. Always.
Always moving towards the sunshine.
On my designated day, I help to nourish her growth,
hopefully adding some woven strands to her tender roots,
her roots which have already kept her very strong,
through some rough winds and fearful storms.
She has good, solid roots because they fearlessly branch out,
to get her what she needs, to flourish and to blossom.
Every part of her being is fearlessly alive, and flowing, and growing.
She knows how to bloom, my little flower.
She inspires me. And so after carefully tending to her,
I go back to my own garden and everything blossoms,
all the more radiantly, all because of one tiny flower.
RIP – Joe Coulombe, the original creator of Trader Joe’s
I didn’t know anything about Joe Coulombe, until today, as word of his passing at the age of 89, has hit the internet. I have always loved shopping at Trader Joe’s. (unfortunately, where we live now, doesn’t have a Trader Joe’s store very close by, but even my kids have been praying that one opens up, closer to us, soon, because the experience of shopping at Trader Joe’s is always so incredibly unique and fun and uplifting) What I read today, about Joe and his family, made me, in one part, wish that I had known more about him and others like him, while he was still alive, versus all of the stupid gossip which I could recite about current trendy celebrities, royals and reality stars. However, in second part, I also achieved a lasting smile – a big soothing, internal, happy grin, with the realization that there are a lot of good people like Joe Coulombe doing so much to add to the goodness and the happiness of our collective living experience. We rarely to never hear anything about these people, but they are surrounding us, and elevating us, and loving us and loving life, and they don’t need any praise or notoriety for making the world a happier, better place. These people are the majority of us, friends. Joe Coulombe set out to create a grocery store for the overeducated, underpaid among us, much like his in-laws, who were academics. Before Joe died, a local Pasadena, CA newspaper printed this article about Joe Coulombe and his wife of 67 years, Alice:
“Joe and his wife Alice are entirely lovely people, still very much part of the social fabric of Pasadena, great supporters of the musical arts. But quiet about it. Joe came to a Star-News evening seminar teaching readers the ins and outs of Facebook a couple of years ago, and I doubt anyone else there but me even knew who he was — the creator of one of the most imaginative business ideas of the late 20th century. He saw the tremendous demand created for fresh, non-preservative-filled food by Americans who, thanks to the 747, could finally afford to visit Europe. His famous quote about his ideal customer: “An unemployed Ph.D.” “
Joe graduated from Stanford, was raised on an avocado ranch, served in the Air Force, raised three children with his college sweetheart, Alice and enjoyed six grandchildren with her. As the article said, he and his wife are “entirely lovely people.” When I was perusing Twitter, there were hundreds, if not thousands, of people thanking Joe for their favorite Trader Joe’s staple foods. As Debra French Bloom on Twitter stated about Joe: Joe created a “grocery store, a culture, a destination.” As I am writing this, my husband and my daughter are outside, putting up a hammock that she has been wanting. She was home with the flu yesterday and he wants her to feel better, so he bought her the hammock and they are playfully trying it out, giggly at each other’s graceless attempts to enter the cocoon of the hammock. My husband, my daughter and I (in spy mode), are having an “entirely lovely moment” and my heart is swollen with joy. Friends, the world is FULL of entirely lovely people (you are among them), sharing entirely lovely moments, in an entirely lovely space on Earth. Yes, there are problems, there are pains, there are things to fear and to grieve, but mostly, mostly, our collective world is an ENTIRELY LOVELY PLACE, when we really focus on the love that surrounds us and holds us and inspires us and sustains us and connects us. Like Joe, that love doesn’t scream for our attention. It’s “quiet about it.” Perhaps it doesn’t have to scream for attention, because it is contented in being. It is contented in being Love. It is contented in the knowing that Love itself, is what Life is really all about.
RIP – Trader Joe. Thank you for the reminder of all of the wholesomeness and goodness and fun and abundance that life has to offer.
Wow, the world needs Friday today, doesn’t it? We need a little “Friday reset” to calm the nerves, take a timeout and find some perspective. New readers, Fridays are called Favorite Things Friday here at Adulting – Second Half. On Fridays, I list three favorites: books, poems, songs, books, beauty items, spices, blogs (a-hem) etc, etc. I strongly encourage you to list your favorites and also to check out my previous Friday posts for more favorites. I think that we all could use some comforting right now, don’t you? As a bonus favorite I noticed that the movies Knives Out and FordVersus Ferrari are out on Redbox. If you are staying home this Friday to avoid germ contamination, I highly recommend both films. They are light, very entertaining, and very enjoyable to watch, movies. Without further ado, here are my today’s favorites:
“Magnet and Steel” song by Walter Egan – My sweet, romantic husband texted me this song earlier this week. (huge brownie points, dear husband) I love these “blasts from the past” when something you loved but have forgotten about, pops up, in the most delicious way. Play it now, friends. You can’t help but sway and swoon to this one.
OPI Norse is Less nail polish – This is the perfect winter blue nail polish. It is a dark, milky, grayish blue. It is a blue that actually looks nice with every skin tone. It is sophisticated, yet off the beaten track and a perfect winter “pick me up.” That’s what I love about lipstick and nail polish. They are quick, cheap, guilt-free ways to add color and life, to our regular, daily existence.
Dewey’s Bakery Moravian Style Cookie Thins – How can you not love cookies that come from a North Carolina bakery that shipped 12,000 pounds of fruit cake to troops during World War II??? These incredibly delicious cookie thins are only 12 calories each, although I like them so much, I typically inhale an entire sleeve of them (I haven’t chosen to do the math on that calorie intake) . The cookie thins come in many wonderful flavors such as Brownie Crisp, Meyer Lemon and Toasted Coconut. This is another delicious “pick me up” that we could all use right now, including the stock market.
Try to stay light-hearted and keep it real this weekend, friends!!
