Tag: empty nest

Going to Extremes

If you want a clean looking coronavirus map, with the numbers readily available to you, I have found this Johns Hopkins version to be the one to be very reliable and easy to understand, as I check it up to 183 times a day:

https://www.arcgis.com/apps/opsdashboard/index.html#/bda7594740fd40299423467b48e9ecf6

I have turned this whole coronavirus thing into an interesting self study on my multi-faceted personality. I realize that I am sort of “flip/floppy.” I go from opportunist zeal of “let’s buy downtrodden stocks!”, to wanting to run to the bank, pull out all of our money and stuff it in our mattress. We made plans in a couple of weeks to celebrate my daughter’s birthday at one of the Orlando theme parks. I go from, “Oh awesome! We won’t have to wait in line for anything!” to giving my daughter mature mommy lectures on life’s disappointments, and the realization that we can’t always get what we want, and we will likely have to cancel, if Mickey doesn’t cancel on us first, as I stuff yet another Vitamin C in her mouth before dropping her off at school, while desperately looking for anyone who is coughing, and not into their elbows. I admittedly have a couple of boxes of things that I have ordered online with “Made In China” stamped on the boxes. Despite having sprayed the boxes heavily with Lysol, and leaving them out on the back porch for days, I haven’t found the need to open them up just yet. I tell myself that this is a good lesson in delayed gratification, which I think is important lesson to exercise, in these days of being spoiled by Amazon Prime. I have also kept the shipment of our favorite Illy coffee (made in Italy) in our garage, as I have driven to Starbucks for my daily caffeine hit, the last couple of days. But my face burns in shame, when my kids tell me I’m being xenophobic. But then I get uplifted in pride, thinking, “At least this health scare is teaching my kids big words – words that aren’t slang words! The upside of all of this, is an expanded vocabulary.”

I’m a mess. I’m an out of control see-saw. If I don’t get myself back to center, I’m going to fall hard on my butt. I know this too shall pass. I know that most people who get the coronavirus experience it as nothing more than a bad cold or a flu. I pray for a quick and easy recovery, for anyone who is unfortunately, infected. At this point, my own body is probably mostly made out of Zinc, Vitamin C and echinacea, with an outer layer of Purell coating. Even though I am not a crafty person, I’ve learned from Pinterest, and with much practice, I am now an expert on how to make homemade surgical masks out of paper towels and rubber bands. And I have always purchased expensive, thick paper towels. (Viva – the ones that are like washcloth material – worthy to be a Friday Favorite) I’m iron clad. The logical side of me says, “Lady, you’ve taken all of the necessary precautions. Keep calm and carry on. No more excuses to not do bills and laundry.” The hysterical side of me says, “Quit writing, fool, and check the Johns Hopkins page again – NOW!” Here’s the link again (I’ll see you there):

https://www.arcgis.com/apps/opsdashboard/index.html#/bda7594740fd40299423467b48e9ecf6

Fortune for the day – “A wise man seeks wisdom. A madman thinks that he has found it.” – Persian proverb

Soul Sunday

Good morning. Rabbit. Rabbit. Rabbit.

Fortune for the day – “How we spend our days is, of course, how we spend our lives.” – Annie Dillard

Welcome to Sunday. May this first Sunday in March, be particularly calming, soothing, comforting, and re-setting. May this Sunday find you surrounded in such peaceful tranquility that you can’t imagine ever coming out of its trance of repose. Remember, when you make/allow/find yourself feeling good, you, in turn, uplift the entire world.

Readers, Sundays are dedicated to poetry here at Adulting – Second Half. I strongly encourage you to share your beautiful souls in the form of poems in the Comments Section. My new friend and fellow writer, Walberto Campos, has written a strong, poignant poem about his father’s experience with Alzheimer’s disease. I will be publishing that one in the Comments section. Please read it, and please, too, publish your poems in the Comments section. The world can never have enough poetry. Your poems give others permission to share their souls, as well. In poetry, our souls are bared and veiled, all at the same time, which is why I think that we all find poetry so mystifying, yet gratifying. It is so easy to find our own experiences and emotions in almost any poem. Poems are powerful. Here’s my poem for today:

My Little Flower

My little flower grows in someone else’s garden.

Yet, perhaps by providence,

by a Source who loves us both,

I have been assigned to some of her care.

(and perhaps she has been entrusted with some of my care, too)

She is tiny and fragile, yet beautiful and radiant.

She keeps her glowing, purple bloom, reaching towards the sun,

Always. She chooses the sunny side. Always.

Always moving towards the sunshine.

On my designated day, I help to nourish her growth,

hopefully adding some woven strands to her tender roots,

her roots which have already kept her very strong,

through some rough winds and fearful storms.

She has good, solid roots because they fearlessly branch out,

to get her what she needs, to flourish and to blossom.

Every part of her being is fearlessly alive, and flowing, and growing.

She knows how to bloom, my little flower.

She inspires me. And so after carefully tending to her,

I go back to my own garden and everything blossoms,

all the more radiantly, all because of one tiny flower.

Image result for pictures of a violet

Trader Joe Knows

RIP – Joe Coulombe, the original creator of Trader Joe’s

I didn’t know anything about Joe Coulombe, until today, as word of his passing at the age of 89, has hit the internet. I have always loved shopping at Trader Joe’s. (unfortunately, where we live now, doesn’t have a Trader Joe’s store very close by, but even my kids have been praying that one opens up, closer to us, soon, because the experience of shopping at Trader Joe’s is always so incredibly unique and fun and uplifting) What I read today, about Joe and his family, made me, in one part, wish that I had known more about him and others like him, while he was still alive, versus all of the stupid gossip which I could recite about current trendy celebrities, royals and reality stars. However, in second part, I also achieved a lasting smile – a big soothing, internal, happy grin, with the realization that there are a lot of good people like Joe Coulombe doing so much to add to the goodness and the happiness of our collective living experience. We rarely to never hear anything about these people, but they are surrounding us, and elevating us, and loving us and loving life, and they don’t need any praise or notoriety for making the world a happier, better place. These people are the majority of us, friends. Joe Coulombe set out to create a grocery store for the overeducated, underpaid among us, much like his in-laws, who were academics. Before Joe died, a local Pasadena, CA newspaper printed this article about Joe Coulombe and his wife of 67 years, Alice:

“Joe and his wife Alice are entirely lovely people, still very much part of the social fabric of Pasadena, great supporters of the musical arts. But quiet about it. Joe came to a Star-News evening seminar teaching readers the ins and outs of Facebook a couple of years ago, and I doubt anyone else there but me even knew who he was — the creator of one of the most imaginative business ideas of the late 20th century. He saw the tremendous demand created for fresh, non-preservative-filled food by Americans who, thanks to the 747, could finally afford to visit Europe. His famous quote about his ideal customer: “An unemployed Ph.D.” “

Joe graduated from Stanford, was raised on an avocado ranch, served in the Air Force, raised three children with his college sweetheart, Alice and enjoyed six grandchildren with her. As the article said, he and his wife are “entirely lovely people.” When I was perusing Twitter, there were hundreds, if not thousands, of people thanking Joe for their favorite Trader Joe’s staple foods. As Debra French Bloom on Twitter stated about Joe: Joe created a “grocery store, a culture, a destination.” As I am writing this, my husband and my daughter are outside, putting up a hammock that she has been wanting. She was home with the flu yesterday and he wants her to feel better, so he bought her the hammock and they are playfully trying it out, giggly at each other’s graceless attempts to enter the cocoon of the hammock. My husband, my daughter and I (in spy mode), are having an “entirely lovely moment” and my heart is swollen with joy. Friends, the world is FULL of entirely lovely people (you are among them), sharing entirely lovely moments, in an entirely lovely space on Earth. Yes, there are problems, there are pains, there are things to fear and to grieve, but mostly, mostly, our collective world is an ENTIRELY LOVELY PLACE, when we really focus on the love that surrounds us and holds us and inspires us and sustains us and connects us. Like Joe, that love doesn’t scream for our attention. It’s “quiet about it.” Perhaps it doesn’t have to scream for attention, because it is contented in being. It is contented in being Love. It is contented in the knowing that Love itself, is what Life is really all about.

RIP – Trader Joe. Thank you for the reminder of all of the wholesomeness and goodness and fun and abundance that life has to offer.

Friday Reset

Its about time, friday

Wow, the world needs Friday today, doesn’t it? We need a little “Friday reset” to calm the nerves, take a timeout and find some perspective. New readers, Fridays are called Favorite Things Friday here at Adulting – Second Half. On Fridays, I list three favorites: books, poems, songs, books, beauty items, spices, blogs (a-hem) etc, etc. I strongly encourage you to list your favorites and also to check out my previous Friday posts for more favorites. I think that we all could use some comforting right now, don’t you? As a bonus favorite I noticed that the movies Knives Out and Ford Versus Ferrari are out on Redbox. If you are staying home this Friday to avoid germ contamination, I highly recommend both films. They are light, very entertaining, and very enjoyable to watch, movies. Without further ado, here are my today’s favorites:

“Magnet and Steel” song by Walter Egan – My sweet, romantic husband texted me this song earlier this week. (huge brownie points, dear husband) I love these “blasts from the past” when something you loved but have forgotten about, pops up, in the most delicious way. Play it now, friends. You can’t help but sway and swoon to this one.

OPI Norse is Less nail polish – This is the perfect winter blue nail polish. It is a dark, milky, grayish blue. It is a blue that actually looks nice with every skin tone. It is sophisticated, yet off the beaten track and a perfect winter “pick me up.” That’s what I love about lipstick and nail polish. They are quick, cheap, guilt-free ways to add color and life, to our regular, daily existence.

Dewey’s Bakery Moravian Style Cookie Thins – How can you not love cookies that come from a North Carolina bakery that shipped 12,000 pounds of fruit cake to troops during World War II??? These incredibly delicious cookie thins are only 12 calories each, although I like them so much, I typically inhale an entire sleeve of them (I haven’t chosen to do the math on that calorie intake) . The cookie thins come in many wonderful flavors such as Brownie Crisp, Meyer Lemon and Toasted Coconut. This is another delicious “pick me up” that we could all use right now, including the stock market.

Try to stay light-hearted and keep it real this weekend, friends!!

Clearing

This week feels very poetic (in a beautiful, serendipitous kind of a way), for some reason. I read this poem today and I had to share it:

Clearing
 
Do not try to save
the whole world
or do anything grandiose.
Instead, create
a clearing
in the dense forest
of your life
and wait there
patiently,
until the song
that is your life
falls into your own cupped hands
and you recognize and greet it.
Only then will you know
how to give yourself
to this world
so worth of rescue.
― Martha Postlewaite 

We all have our own little parts, yet very significant parts, to play in the co-creation of this world that we live in, breathe in, love in, dance in, sing in, cook in, feel in, heal in, obsess in, fear in, anger in, paint in, cry in, laugh in, crunch numbers in, play in, learn in, grow in, give birth in, die in. It is my wish for today, that a “knowingness” peacefully covers all of us – a surety of what our own very unique, highest part is to play, in this co-creation, just for today, for the best interests of everyone. I suppose that I will just call that surety/knowingness/peacefulness, “faith.”

Fortune for the day – “Chance is always powerful. Let your hook be always cast. In the pool where you least expect it, there will be a fish.” – Ovid

Soul Sunday

Fortune for the Day – “If you judge people, you have no time to love them.” – Mother Teresa

Good morning, my dear friends and readers. I hope that you are well today. New readers, Sundays are dedicated to poetry here at Adulting-Second Half. Please share your poems in the Comments. Soul Sunday, has quickly become my most popular, “read” day on the blog. That tells me that poetry moves many souls, in many ways. Share your poems, friends. When you share your poems, I think that you share your most intimate, less “crafted” self. And that is the greatest gift that you can give to yourself and to the world.

Here is my poem for the day:

Cleaning Out the Garage

There’s a heap of our family life,

Unceremoniously dumped on the curb of the drive.

A litany of sports played by the kids,

starting with small plastic bats, moving on to helmets.

Helmets for everything – bike riding, lacrosse, softball.

Old suitcases, cracked and weathered with age and wear,

But once the housers of our treasures and trinkets as they witnessed,

The grand adventures of our chaotic family vacations.

The suitcases are piled on top of the piles and piles and piles of rags.

Rags, that once started out as the nice, fresh, new towels,

Only to brought out for guests, but after years of use,

Relegated to the rag pile in the garage, best used to wipe down cars.

No one has taken the electric scooter yet,

The in-line skates are past their prime.

The bike baskets are charming, but faded and crumbly.

It takes a great deal of fortitude to clean out the garage.

Most especially, emotional fortitude.

A small piece of my heart is faintly beating,

Underneath the heap of our family life, lying by the road.

Sexy and Alive

Image result for yazemeenah rossi

This is Yazemeenah Rossi, a 63-year-old top paid model and photographer. She didn’t even start a modeling career until her late forties. Below is an excerpt from an interview that she had with a London magazine called Sweaty Betty, I’ve highlighted the parts of the interview that really struck a chord with me.

What’s the secret to a healthy lifestyle?

Happiness is what makes you glow, not just the healthy food you put in your body. It’s not a question of hair, makeup or clothes. We have to realise that the beauty of it is that we are all different.

What is happiness to you?

Water. Yoga. Fresh, organic food that I cook myself. To live in a peaceful place with light and a view of the ocean. To live at my own pace, doing what I want, when I want. These are my basic needs.

Can you tell us your beauty secrets?

There is no big secret, all I have ever done is eat organic food long before it became trendy. I also love olive oil, I rub it on my skin every day. Aging is an organic, natural process that I have no power over — unless you count the power of letting go.

What advice would you give your younger self?

I never give advice, I give information. Be free and don’t judge yourself. Take advantage of how you are. As I’ve got older I’ve realised sexy means alive. I’m alive.

Fancy

Fortune for the Day- “The winds of grace are always blowing; it is for us to raise our sails.” – Ramakrishna

My two middle boys belong to the same fraternity, at the same university. I am delighted that they invited me to “Moms’ Weekend”, coming up here in a few weeks. I just spent about an hour, scouring the internet and making phone calls to find the absolute, very last hotel room available, in decent proximity to the fraternity house for that weekend. Turns out, I’m going to be paying for 5-star accommodations at a 2-star hovel. I guess that it just wouldn’t be proper to crash at the fraternity house. (Was it ever proper for me to crash at a fraternity house??) It turns out that weekend also has some popular events going on in town, such as an anime convention, a food truck rally and “IndiaFest.” I have a feeling that there is going to be quite the interesting crowd in their college town that weekend. I should have a lot to write about. Stay tuned . . . .

Image result for funny quotes about bad hotels

3 Good Things

Warning: This scene requires a very accessible box of tissues. I don’t watch the TV show “New Amsterdam”, but this scene was recommended for me to watch, by a friend. I was overwhelmed. I then passed it on to a group of friends. After watching the scene, we kind of all spontaneously told each other why we loved each other, and we all talked about things/traits/characteristics that had NOTHING to do with what we do for each other. It was a poignant, vulnerable, yet amazingly wonderful, beautiful time in our friendships’ history.

Too often we all think that we have worth in other people’s eyes, only for what we do (or can do) for them. We think we only have value for what we can provide for other people and thus, we get all of our self-worth externally, which is so unhealthy. Think about it. Often what we love most about the other important people in our lives, are their quirks, their unique personality traits that make them shine, their talents, their way they go about “doing life” that is so very particular to that one individual, yet so inspiring to the rest of us. We love and appreciate the kindness and the vulnerability that the people who we love show to us, by sharing their very real, core selves with us.

On our girls’ weekend, a few weeks ago, one of my friends said something to the effect that she has NO idea what her friends think of her. At the moment, no one was in a sappy mood, so the comment probably got met with some snarky, clever sarcasm and we all probably got a big laugh out of it all. Still, the truth is, it is so much easier to poke fun at our friends and loved ones, than to bare our souls, and to bravely tell them, honestly, why they are so incredibly special to us. But maybe, just maybe, the people whom we love, deserve to hear that lovely truth about themselves every once in a while. It would make me sad to think that my husband, my children, my relatives and my friends (and even my pets) would think that I only love them for what they do for me.

When I was a third grader, I had an incredibly kind teacher. She’s one of those teachers who will stand out to me, forever. She was a life-changer. Her name was Mrs. Simmerman. Every week, she would put one of our names on the Bulletin Board and throughout the week, we students would write anonymous, yet kind words and statements about what we thought was so special about that particular classmate. When the week was over, Mrs. Simmerman would read all of the kind, loving, interesting things written about the student and then, the student got to take home and to keep that particular poster, listing all the amazing traits about themselves. Whomever’s week it was to be focused on/loved on, seemed to have an extra spring in his or her step, and a little bit of a puffed out chest that week. Being cared about and being really noticed and seen and appreciated, made not just that particular student, but all of us students, very, very happy.

I think all of this mushy mush, is just a great reminder that we truly LOVE people for WHO they are, not just for what they do. We are all just unique enough to add a ray of life and color and thread, to this world which we are co-creating, that no one else even has the capability to match. We are all indispensable to the whole, and sometimes it is nice to be reminded why we are invaluable to this Life which we live, and we create together. As you think about why you love the people whom you love and you cherish, remember that they feel the very same way about you and your gifts to the world, in just you being, uniquely you.

Fortune for the Day – “When you possess light within, you see it externally.” – Anais Nin

I am . . . .

I have been reading a very interesting book entitled You Can’t Afford the Luxury of a Negative Thought by Peter McWilliams. It’s one of those books that you don’t need to read cover to cover, but more so, you flip through it, for daily doses of inspiration. One of the first chapters I “flipped to” was the chapter on purpose, mostly because the cover says that this particular chapter changed Oprah Winfrey’s life. A life changer for Oprah Winfrey, has got to be an interesting read, for sure. I am still digesting what I read about what McWilliams says about purpose, so I am not sure that this chapter has altered my life just yet, but it has made me think, and think deeply and more clearly. Here are some of his thoughts on finding your purpose:

“A purpose can be summed up in just a few words. It usually begins, ‘I am . . . ‘ It’s a simple but powerful statement about why you’re here and what you are here to do.”

“You have been fulfilling your purpose your whole life, even if you don’t consciously know what your purpose is. A purpose is not a goal. . . . . a purpose is fulfilled in every moment.”

Some examples of purposes: “I am a joyful explorer.” “I am a lover of life.” “I am a servant of spirit.” “I am a giver of happiness.” “I am a servant of humanity.”

A purpose is general enough to fit many situations, but specific enough to fit you perfectly. “I am a student of life” might fit almost anyone. “I am a festive student of life” might be you.

You may want your life to go in a certain way. That is not necessarily your purpose. Statements about what you want are called affirmations. Your purpose is what you are already doing. . . A purpose indicates both movement and direction.

To discover your purpose, begin my telling yourself, “I want to know my purpose.” . . . Look back on your life. Write down the words (uplifting ones, please) that describe the activities and general thrust of your life thus far . . . . A purpose is not something that you create, it’s something you discover. . . . .Once you know your purpose, it becomes a golden divining rod. When you are wondering, “Should I do this or should I do that?” look to your purpose. . . . .Once you know your purpose, you have answered the time-honored question, “Why am I here?”

When you bring yourself more in line with your purpose – in an involved, active way – you may notice that your energy flows more freely, the blocks and the tensions in your body release, you become more active, vibrant, and alive – healthier.”

Peter McWilliams does not recommend sharing your purpose with anyone, should they cast doubts for you. Your purpose is a very personal thing. Perhaps it is best said by another wonderful writer about purpose:

“It’s not what you do, but how much love you put into it that matters.”
― Rick Warren, The Purpose Driven Life: What on Earth Am I Here for?

Fortune for the Day – “The days are gods, only no-one suspects it.” – Emerson