Soul Sunday

I am heading out on an early morning boating excursion. My regular readers know that Sundays are devoted to poetry here at Adulting – Second Half. I’m barely awake. My poem will arrive on the site later today, when the fog clears from my mind. In the meantime, please share your poems in my Comments section. And come back for my poem, later in the day, as you are slowly unwinding from the weekend. I’m sorry for the delay. Love, peace and health.

****Okay, it’s about 3:15 pm here in Florida today. Boating was cut a little short due to storms. If you typically find storms disturbing, while you are resting on your couch, in your safe, warm, snug home, I can assure you that watching lightning strike, while you are floating around in a boat (which is really just a teeny little dry hole, in a vast expanse of water), takes storm watching (and the uncontrollable shaking that comes from being frightened ) to a whole new level. Nonetheless, we got out safely. This 2020 year does not need, nor does it require, any more over the top excitement for us, nor for anybody else!!

Here’s my Soul Sunday poem, as promised. Where are yours poems???

Chin Up Buttercup

Chin Up Buttercup, stop lamenting on the bad news – virus outbreaks, breathless black men, toppled statues, death and sadness, puppy potty training going nowhere but wet, helplessness in a heap of overwhelming pile of unrest, pining away for seeing loved ones, arguments from too much togetherness, exhaustion from wondering where does this all lead . . . .

Where does this all lead? And what part do I play in it all? Am I doing everything I can?

Chin Up Buttercup, start focusing on the good news – vaccines in the works, healthy social change happening/long in coming, life and hope, happiness is a warm puppy snuggled in your arms, a greater Source to hand the pile of problems over to fix, amazing technology to keep loved ones close by, when you have people to argue with, all that really means is that you are not alone and you are all learning the beautiful virtues of patience and understanding, energy from curiosity that where this all leads will be truly . . . . .

WONDERFUL.

Chin Up Buttercup.

Everything’s going to be okay.

Independence Day

Happy 4th of July, friends! I hope that you have a safe and happy day!!!

Today, when I was reading about July 4th, I was struck by how many times the words “independent” and “independence” came up. After all, it is 244 years ago that our forefathers claimed today as “Independence Day” for our country. This prompted me to look up the definition of “independent.” This is the first definition that popped up on Google:

“Being independent means being able to take care of your own needs and to make and assume responsibility for your decisions while considering both the people around you and your environment.”

I like this definition of independence. Sometimes I think that we want our independence, but without personal responsibility. Sometimes I think that we want our independence, forgetting to be considerate to the fact, that our actions do affect others and our Earth. Sometimes I think we confuse selfishness with independence. They are too entirely different things. Independence is a virtue. Selfishness is not. Today we celebrate the independence of our great country. Today marks the day that the United States of America declared its ability to take care of its own needs, and to assume responsibility for the decisions of our country, with consideration for other people, other countries, and our Earth. In some ways, the United States has done an excellent job with our independence. In other ways, we have some work to do.

Our countries, our states, our institutions, our communities, our families, are all made up of people. Today, when we consider our own individual independence, we can consider how well we are living up to that honorable definition of independence, in our own individual lives. As we celebrate our “independence”, we can use the celebration as a time to reflect on how “independent” (in the virtuous sense of the word), we really are, in our own lives. Do we rely on others for our physical needs and emotional needs, without taking any personal responsibility for those needs? Are we healthfully interdependent with others, or are we woefully stuck in a codependent cycle with those we love? Do we make our own decisions, and do we take responsibility for the consequences of those decisions, or are we quick to blame others, and to take the victim stance, when things go wrong? Do we make decisions for ourselves with the mindfulness of how those decisions will affect ourselves, others, and our beautiful planet, or do we just act on impulse and let the pieces fall as they may?

We declared quite a responsibility, as a country, those 244 years ago. I think that the founders of our country, understood the weight of that responsibility, but firmly believed that we were better off with our freedom. Our founders believed that we were up to the challenge of co-creating the greatest country that has ever existed. Our forefathers made the decision to declare independence for the United States, thoughtfully, carefully, and with a full understanding of what the consequences of declaring our independence would bring for us, then and for the ongoing future.

We tend to celebrate July 4th with fireworks, and barbecues, and parades and parties, without really giving much thought to what the day really means to us. Perhaps this virus catastrophe, can be used in a good way, to give us more space and more down time to really reflect on how well we are living up to our own “declarations of independence”, in our own lives, and as citizens who make up our country. Claiming independence is commanding, freeing, exciting, exhilarating, creative and allows us to fulfill our fullest purposes and destinies. But claiming independence goes hand in hand with enormous responsibilities, vision, sacrifice, empathy and consideration for others, and the need to protect the boundaries of our own autonomy and independence. Claiming independence is a brave and heady endeavor and it must often be reclaimed and revisited, again and again. We can thank our forebears for the start of it all, but it is our responsibility to keep the good vision of it all, alive and well and prospering.

136 Quotes About Change In Your Life and In The World (2019)

Free Friday

Happy Friday, America! Thank God I'm Free | Patriotic pictures, I ...

Happy Friday!!! Happy Favorite Things Friday!! New readers, Fridays are devoted to my favorite material things. Fridays are devoted to the best things, songs, movies, books, etc. that make life so acutely real, tactile, sensual and amazing. Today, I’ve embedded three of my favorite renditions of patriotic songs, that still give me chills up and down my spine when I hear them played, every single time. Happy Fourth of July weekend, friends and fellow patriots. Despite all of our troubles, our mistakes, our setbacks and our foibles, our country is an incredible place, filled with AMAZING people. We ARE a beacon, and though we have been taking some licks lately, Americans stand proud, Americans stand strong, and most importantly, Americans stand FREE. I am very proud and grateful to be an American. The United States of America is a beautiful, beautiful country, filled with the most visionary, hopeful, resilient, generous people, who have ever existed. God Bless America!!

Balancing Act

“Anxiety, heartbreak, and tenderness mark the in-between state. It’s the kind of place we usually want to avoid. The challenge is to stay in the middle rather than buy into struggle and complaint. The challenge is to let it soften us rather than make us more rigid and afraid. Becoming intimate with the queasy feeling of being in the middle of nowhere only makes our hearts more tender. When we are brave enough to stay in the middle, compassion arises spontaneously. By not knowing, not hoping to know, and not acting like we know what’s happening, we begin to access our inner strength.”
– Pema Chodron

The above quote arrived in my in-box this morning. It is the Daily Peace Quote. Yesterday, when thinking about things which I wanted to write about in my blog, I jotted these three words down: stabilizing, equilibrium, balance. The Daily Peace Quote goes along with those three words quite nicely. Something/Someone is trying to get the message across, I think.

This is some of the definition of equilbrium – a state of rest or balance due to the equal action of opposing forces. equal balance between any powers, influences, etc.; equality of effect. mental or emotional balance; equanimity.

We all know what it takes to get to our own mental and emotional and physical equilibrium. It’s not rocket science. Sleep, good nutrition, removing toxic people, places and things and habits from our daily lives, exercise, nature, breath work, spending time with people and pets and activities that bring us joy, prayer, meditation, gratitude, are all things that help to bring us back to our beautiful heart centers. Where are you out of balance right now, in your own life? What can you do to bring that area of your own life, back to center? We are right in the middle of what has turned out to be an unprecedented and difficult year. This is the perfect time to look at our own personal scale of equilibrium, and see if it is tipped too far, in any one direction. Then we can carefully and purposefully, place our intentions and actions, on the opposite side of the scale, to get our beings back into a peaceful, centered space.

Euripides quote: The best and safest thing is to keep a balance...
Quotes about Balance and moderation (25 quotes)

Halfway There

Black Pendant Lamp on Brick Room

Friends, today one of my daily inspirations/meditations said this, in a text: “Not only is this the 183rd day of the year, but there are 183 days left in 2020. Despite what’s happened, you are halfway to 2021. Be encouraged and keep going.”

Everyone I know, seems to need this message right now. In some ways, if feels like a lot of people in this world, are at a collective breaking point. This year has been “A LOT” and it feels like we are quickly heading to “TOO MUCH.” I’ve never craved boring and mundane and uneventful, more, in my entire life. I know that we are all going to be okay, but still . . . . enough already.

On a happier note, my middle son turns 22 today. I cannot believe that my children are really, really adults. I look at that age and I can no longer be in any more denial that my son is still a child. Being a parent is a constant cycle of surreal moments. Beautiful, sentimental and surreal moments.

July 1st was never an ideal day, in the way of birthday parties, when my son was growing up. Most of his friends were on summer vacations and trips, with his birthday being so close to July 4th. Some years, we celebrated my son’s half birthday. We had a big birthday party when he turned 8 and a half, during the winter, at an indoor rock climbing venue. We served a birthday cake that was cut in half. The above quote reminded me of those half birthday celebrations.

I think we all need a laugh today. This quote cracked me up (or maybe I’m just crackin’ up):

I took my father on a coach trip last summer.We were halfway there when the driver lost control of the coach, it flew down a hill around a bend and crashed through a brick wall. I wasn’t hurt but luckily my father had the presence of mind to kick my head in. – Chic Murray

Tomorrow, we’ll be closer to the light at the end of the tunnel, than the ugly hole that we entered when this year started. That’s a good thing!

RIP

Rest in peace, dear Uncle

When someone close to you dies, you reflect on death, but you also reflect on life. It seems to me that we all live many, many, multiple lives here, during our Life on Earth. We live each of these multiple lives through our different relationships, vocations, interests and experiences. Everything and everyone that “happens” to us, shapes us, molds us, and changes us. Our individual lives are in a state of constant evolution and flux. We like to see our individual lives as “one unit/one long story”, with “I” being the constant, but we do this mind trickery to ourselves, out of our human need for simplicity and categorizing and security. Everyone who we come in contact with, brings themselves and their perceptions and their past experiences and history, into the relationship, and we do the same. And then, when we meet that person once again, and even though we recognize that person through past and present associations and shared memories, in reality, each new meeting, is really like two new people, experiencing each other, in a fresh, new way. This phenomenon even happens with the people who we are closest to, the ones we live with, and who we experience life with, on a daily basis.

So when someone dies, who you have had a long history with, you have a lot of versions of that person in your head and in your heart, and to console yourself, you try to lump all of those versions together into one entity. You realize that you won’t be adding anything more to the relationship together, here on Earth, anyway. All of the fluidity of the relationship, is now just within you. The story, the legend, the history, of that particular relationship is now on your shoulders. It feels like a heavy load of responsibility to bear.

I think that it’s good to remind ourselves, that just because a person whom we loved, is no longer on Earth in bodily form, there is one thing that remains. The only thing that was truly a Constant, the Same, every time you encountered the person, was their God center, their light, their soul. Those of us who enjoy the practice of yoga, greet each other with the word, “Namaste”. Loosely translated, “Namaste” means “the spirit/God in me, recognizes the spirit/God in you.” So throughout the long time periods that you experience your closest relationships, you get to see so many aspects and versions of the persona and of the body, which Life (spirit/God) has lived through that person. These people, who you intimately know, get to see the same with you. How we experience each other is all grand and delightful and joyful and heartbreaking and interesting and awe-striking and overwhelming. We are mirrors to each other. We are the reflection of Life. We get to co-witness the constant evolution of a human life, through our relationships. And all of the while, when we are doing this mirroring/experiencing/witnessing of each other, the one thing that is the very Same and Eternal, within each and every one of us, just sits in peaceful, eternal, loving Awareness. And that Awareness never, ever changes, nor goes away. It remains with all of us. Always.

Manatee Monday

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Right before this coronavirus thing really took hold, I swam with manatees. It is easily one of my favorite memories of 2020. Go to your happy memories, today. Go to your gratitude. Look for the stuff that makes you happy. Make lists, and make writing the lists of “your happy stuff” a priority today. This will be your best fuel for a quiet, moody Monday in 2020. This will keep your energy light and bright and clear and strong.

Soul Sunday

My soul is a little quiet this Sunday morning. My soul was caught up in a tsunami of emotion and a firestorm of thoughts, pulsing through my mind, most of this week. My soul is trying to rest in a body that’s holding a lot of tension – a body that has had no other choice than to be the rigid container of the relentless tsunamis and the chaotic firestorms, which felt like they would never end. My soul is not looking to reach out today, but more so, to settle down, within, to still the waters and to get back to the peace that lies below all storms and fires. Always.

The poem below by Carl Sandberg moves me. Sundays are devoted to poetry here at Adulting – Second Half. Please share a poem that moves you, whether you are the author or not. Poetry is salve for the soul. Writing poems and reading poems are release valves, to whatever needs to be let go.

“I Love You” by Carl Sandberg

I love you for what you are, but I love you yet more for what you are going to be.
I love you not so much for your realities as for your ideals. I pray for your desires that they may be great, rather than for your satisfactions, which may be so hazardously little.
A satisfied flower is one whose petals are about to fall. The most beautiful rose is one hardly more than a bud wherein the pangs and ecstasies of desire are working for a larger and finer growth. Not always shall you be what you are now. You are going forward toward something great. I am on the way with you and therefore I love you.

Caterpillar

I don’t spend very much time on social media, but I do check out our Nextdoor app on a regular basis, to keep apprised of what is going on in our neighborhood and to get good recommendations for repair people and the like. Often, people post pictures of their missing pets on Nextdoor, and almost always, before the end of the day, the pet is found and everyone posts kind words of relief and happiness that the fur kids are back at home, with their beloved families.

Recently, a woman posted frantic requests for help to find her cat. Days and days went by, and everyone posted words of encouragement and hope for the fraught lady to find her kitty. Finally, after twenty days, her precious kitty was found and reunited with our neighbor. The relieved woman wrote a post thanking everyone for their love and concern and for sharing her joy, in the cat’s safe return home. She posted, “Don’t ever underestimate the power of prayer!”

This experience reminded me of Caterpillar. Caterpillar was my cat, growing up and he was a legend. We called him Pillar. Pillar was a huge, long-haired, grey tabby cat. Retrospectively, Pillar probably was a Maine coon cat, but back in the late 1970s, cats were just cats, and we got Pillar by responding to an ad in the local Pennysaver, from a lady whose cat unexpectedly had kittens. Still, Pillar was a gorgeous cat and he totally lived life on his own terms. He was an indoor/outdoor cat, as most cats were back then. From his outdoor adventures, Pillar often brought us “presents”, alive and dead, and we had to chase live birds, their wings flapping frantically, out of our home, more times than I can count.

Pillar adored my sister and she adored him. Although, my sister had terrible allergies, she wore Pillar around her neck, like a slinky fur stole, as she went about her day, playing with her toys. Pillar slept with my sister every single night, right on top of her head. To this day, my sister is a “cat person.”

Pillar followed us around wherever we went. If we went on a walk, before you knew it, out of nowhere, Pillar would pop out of the bushes, to show you that he was along for the adventure. When we would go sled riding, Pillar would chase our sleds and little ice balls would be attached to the back of his furry legs, because we would stay out in the snow, all day long. And Pillar stayed with us.

Pillar cemented the idea into my head, that cats truly do have nine lives. As I said, he lived life on his own terms. Once we took him on our vacation and he wasn’t happy about being at a lake house far from home. He camped out under the lake house, and we ended up spending half of our vacation looking for him. Pillar liked attention. Once, when my dad sold our boat, and the new owner, having driven the boat home, several hours and hundreds of miles away, called us, to let us know that Pillar had been a stowaway on the boat. Sadly, one year, Pillar almost died of a urinary tract infection, but our vet was so taken with Pillar, that our vet spent his Christmas, with Pillar at his personal home, nursing him back to life. That was the one of the best childhood Christmas presents we ever got. Pillar lived!!

Memories about Pillar came up for me a lot, these past couple of weeks, following my neighbor’s daily posts, asking everyone to keep an eye out for her kitty. You see, one time Pillar disappeared for a very long while. Pillar disappeared from our lives for days that turned into weeks and then into months, nowhere to be found. Despite our desperate shouts and long “hunts” for Pillar, he didn’t come home. I remember clearly, one day, my mother stating to me that it would be best for me to accept that Pillar was “gone” and that he probably wasn’t coming back. I was probably around 10 years old at that time.

That day, I remember so clearly and vividly, climbing high up into a big old apple tree that shaded our yard. I climbed as high as I could go and I cried. I sobbed. And then I prayed. I’ve stated before that I don’t consider myself a religious person, but I am a deeply spiritual person. Luckily for me, my intense faith has been with me, ever since I can remember, and my faith has never wavered. I have always had a very personal relationship with my Creator. After I cried and I prayed, I felt that soothing, regulating, peace and calm, that only my Creator can give to me. I climbed down from the apple tree and I went about my day. Pillar came home, a few days later.

Pillar lived to a ripe old age. I was already married and out of my parents’ home, the day that he died. My mother said that as Pillar took his last breaths, he reached out to try to catch a fly who had landed near to him. Hunting was always Pillar’s greatest passion.

We have all been suffering gut punches left and right, since practically the beginning of this year, which we (not so fondly) call 2020. When my memories flooded back about Caterpillar, our childhood cat, these past few days, I was reminded of my friend who has been texting pictures of the cocoons that she has been watching carefully in her well-tended butterfly farm. She has released several gorgeous butterflies into the world these last few days, and it has been so much fun to watch the progression, through her pictures, which started with snaps of striped caterpillars chewing on their leaves. Interestingly, towards the end of the cocoon stage, the cocoon gets so translucent that you can make out what the butterflies will look like. You can see what the butterflies will look like, before they even know what beautiful creatures, they have become. I think that we are all in the cocoon stage these days. We are sometimes hanging on by a thread, like I felt that day in my childhood, clinging to the branch of the apple tree, crying out to our Creator. Yet, we are being protected in our cocoons, and our Creator can already see the marvelous transformations that have happened and are still happening to us, during this difficult, transformative stage.

Let’s hold on to hope, friends. Let’s know the power of prayer. Let’s just try to rest in our cocoons, for now. Let’s visualize our cocoons surrounding us with the energy of Love. There is nothing stronger than Love. And it’s protecting us. Fiercely.

All I Had to Do Was This Friday

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(courtesy of Think Smarter on Twitter)

Happy Friday, friends. Happy Favorite Things Friday!! This week beat me up. I honestly haven’t been too focused on my favorites, this week. New readers, on Fridays, I typically list three favorite songs, foods, brands, websites, etc. that make my material world special, but I’m honestly not feeling it right now. Don’t get me wrong, it’s Friday! I LOVE Fridays!! I’m just not in a “gushing” mood and all of my favorites, deserve “gush”. If you want to read some “good gushing”, please see previous Friday posts. And please pick up my slack, and tell us about your favorites in my Comments section. The video below, sadly, turned out to be a game changer for me, an almost 50 year-old woman. I have to say that this is my favorite “Why didn’t I EVER think of this???? tip of the day/week/maybe even year”:

Have a great weekend, friends! The above video is a dramatic example of Einstein’s famous quote:

Insanity was defined by Albert Einstein as "doing the same thing ...

With a little self awareness, this quote can change your life for the better, every single time. (and in the case of the deodorant topper, it can save you some teeth)