empty nest Archives - Page 137 of 171 - Adulting: Second- Half

Wicked

Hilda: Well, here we go again. Another year of sitting out here, baking in the Florida sun, turning into pumpkin pies, as a lame attempt for some Halloween cheer.

Zelda: Oh come on Hilda, let’s have some fun with this. Did you see that new guy, the huge skeleton across the street? That guy has got it going on, girl.

Hilda: Yeah, he’s a little skinny for my tastes. And his eyes make me think that he might be on something. Just saying.

Zelda: Oh Hilda! Don’t always assume the worst in Halloween decorations. It’s all in fun.

Hilda: Halloween’s passé this year. Masks have become common and outworn.

Zelda: I have a joke, Hildy, to cheer you up. Ready, ready?? What’s the problem with twin witches???

Hilda:

Zelda: You never know witch is which!!!! One more!! One more!! What do you call two witches who live together???

Hilda: Just get it over with.

Zelda: Broom-mates!!!

Monday is Fun Day!! Have a good one, my beloveds!!

Good morning, my treasured readers. Regular readers know that I devote Sundays to poetry. I either write a poem or a share a poem written by someone else. Today’s poem has been written by me, this morning. I strongly encourage you to write a poem today (it’s cathartic) and if you would like, please share it in my Comments section. My blog is a safe and loving space, I assure you. Have a lovely Sunday.

The Turtle

Last night’s dream was so magical and intriguing.

It involved an ancient home which had been restored to greatness.

Most every room was purely white, marbled marble,

And you had to take a ride to view the house’s mysterious interiors,

Filled with towering towers and statuesque stairways,

But my favorite part of the ride is when I got to you,

the part which everyone seemed to know that I would love.

The whiteness stopped and there was a huge, golden, flowing pond.

And your enormous, moss covered shell rose to the surface.

It was breathtaking to see the largest turtle I have ever seen, anywhere.

I wasn’t afraid. I was in awe. You were incredible. You were shockingly amazing.

I don’t often remember my dreams, so this morning, it felt important

And necessary to understand your meaning to me,

The Dream Dictionary, told me this:

“Seeing a giant turtle, in your dream is a good sign, denoting that, you are protected by your friends and family and thus, no need to get worried about anything in life.”

“Thank you for the reminder, gorgeous turtle,” I whispered, with a sheepish smile.

“Thank yourself. Your dreams come from you.” you replied. “And so do I.”

And then, you plunged down to the deepest depths again,

Leaving the surface of my mind in a still and tranquil state,

As I began another day, assured and hopeful and loved and protected,

Knowing that my shell of loved ones, always keeps me safeguarded and secure.

Peace, Today

My writing ideas haven’t been flowing to me these past few days. Sometimes I get a surge of so many ideas that I have to run to my computer, or to at least to a scrap of paper, so that I can copy my inspirations down to keep up with my racing mind and my surging passion for what lays on my heart. But this week, I’ve been distractible and I’ve been trying to make sense of things that I am probably never going to completely understand during my lifetime on Earth. So this morning, in my perusing of different writers whose work I like to read, I came across this excellent thought by C. Joybell C. The way she describes her mothering is what I have always strived to do, as a mother, sometimes more successfully than at other times. Still, the way that she describes it, is so beautifully put, and it is probably incredibly comforting to her son:

“Kids go out into this world and try to escape everything they know, try to escape the strings they’re tied to, try to escape the pedestals they’re put on, try to escape the spoons shoved into their mouths: why? Why do their souls flee their nests? Because their nests are cages. My son is never trying to flee because his nest is me and I am the sky: a vast blue space that he can fly around in! His nest is me, his nest is the sky. Let me tell you, when the sky is your home, you never want to escape that.”

I reached out to C. Joybell C. once. We share a love of writing (and of perfume), so we had a really nice interaction. Writers love to hear from their readers (this I know). I’ve had some really nice correspondence with authors over the years. If a writer’s words really make a difference in your life, make the point of reaching out to them. I can almost guarantee you, that they will write back to you. Writers love to write, in all forms.

Peace, friends. Give yourself a long, cool glass of tranquility today. When the fear thoughts, or the worry vibes start to take over, stop yourself. Say, “Not today, self. Today, I give myself peace.”

The Year of Acceptance

Happy October! I was not particularly fond of September 2020. Bye-bye September, don’t let the door hitcha on the way out! My theme for today is “acceptance.” (You: Oh great. Not this again. She needs to learn to accept “acceptance” and to move on.) I read a quote that made a lot of sense to me a little while ago, and I wrote it in one of my journals. I’m sorry, but I don’t know who to attribute it to:

“Knowing and understanding are not the same as accepting. Give yourself space to process.”

If ever there was a year that we have been forced to wrap our heads around things, 2020 would be it. Major changes and societal issues and health issues and economic issues, all on top of any of the usual personal life issues which any of us have to deal with in any particular random year, have made dealing with “acceptance”, practically an every day occurrence.

Like the above quote states, we can know things intellectually, without fully accepting these same things. We can understand, for instance, how wearing masks can help save lives. But have we fully accepted that wearing masks may become the norm for the unforeseeable future? Acceptance takes time. Acceptance is always the final stage in any grieving process. Acceptance is not equivalent to approval, but it is the knowing and the ability to sit with, “it is what it is.”

My daughter and I watched Good Will Hunting, the other night. We have seen the film several times, but it is one of those rare movies that is worth watching, again and again. The following scene is one of the most traumatic, poignant scenes in the film, that perfectly illustrates why knowing and understanding are not the same things as acceptance. Friends, the overwhelming events and negative circumstances of 2020 are not our fault. The strangeness and onslaught of changes that have come to our daily lives is not anyone’s fault. Hopefully, we will all be able to come to an acceptance of that fact, and just rise up and do our best, every single day, keeping our faces turned to the sun. Keep the faith!

Practice Makes Progression

My friend said that recently she woke up in the morning and looked at her bedding and decided that her comforter was getting worn and that she needed a new one. So, when she started looking at her phone, almost immediately all of these ads for comforters started popping up, no matter what she was looking at, on her browser. My friend is half-jokingly convinced that Google/Facebook/Twitter’s algorithms have gotten so good, that they are reading our minds.

Now, I personally think that Google/Facebook/Twitter are just copying, in rudimental fashion, the algorithm that the Universe/God has always had in place, since eternity. It never fails that if I need to hear a message, loud and clear, that message or that lesson pops up in my daily life all of the time, whether it be in books, on my computer, from talking with a friend or family member, or even just walking about in nature, when thoughts and ideas, seemingly “out of nowhere”, pop into my mind. The message that has been pinging lately in my heart, is to remember that we are always aiming for “progression, not perfection” in everything that we do.

Once someone asked me if I was a perfectionist and I scoffed. Ha! “Have you seen my clutter filled desk, or my stuffed closet?” I remember thinking. “Have you read any of my spelling-error-filled, confusing texts?” I am a rather impatient person who likes to get things done quickly, which doesn’t leave much time and consideration for perfection. However, when I thought more about the question, I thought that perhaps it is not so much what we do, that screams “perfectionist”, as it is, how we speak to ourselves about our actions. Do I beat myself up for my messy desk and closet and sloppy texts? Do I think I should live up to someone else’s standards that aren’t really mine? Do I stay away from trying new things for fear of “failing” at these endeavors? Do I judge myself so harshly that it steals a lot of the joy out of anything that I do? When something goes wrong, do I flog myself mercilessly about a mistake?

Salvador Dali quote: Have no fear of perfection - you'll never reach it.

The quote above is my daughter’s favorite. It is her algorithm to herself. She pastes and writes this quote everywhere – in her room, in her tennis bag, on her artwork and on her social media. I love that this particular Dali quote speaks to her, so strongly. It helps my daughter to feel fearless with everything that she tries and everything that she enjoys. This quote reminds my daughter to remember how far she has come in her studies, in her athletics, in her friendships, in her artwork and probably every facet of her life, instead of berating herself for not being perfect. When we aim for progress versus perfection, in all of our endeavors, this allows for mistakes. And as we all know, mistakes in life are as inevitable, as perfection is impossible.

Kindness

I was all set out to write about something else this morning, when my son texted me that former neighbors of ours, were recent victims of a murder/suicide. The husband shot his wife and then himself. By all accounts, this couple and their adult children, were happy, and full of life and love. If you look at their social media accounts, you would assume that they were leading a perfectly wonderful life. I think that in these difficult times, in particular, the old adage of “You never know what goes on behind closed doors,” applies more than ever. I also read something this morning that said that a real, truly happy smile is seen in the eyes. Let’s make a point of really looking into people’s eyes, these days. The masks make it easier for us to do this. We all have the ability to be kind. If ever there was a time in the world that needed showers and showers of kindness, this is the time.

Soul Sunday

Good morning. Welcome to Soul Sunday. On Sundays, I dedicate the blog to poetry. I either write a poem or I share someone else’s poem and I strongly encourage, you, my readers, to share your poems in my Comments section. This is a poetry workshop, a loving, virtual poetry reading, café. There is no judgment here, just a free flow of words, and thoughts and ideas and feelings. Today the Poetry Muse has not landed on my nose, or in my heart, so I am going to share another poem by Gwen Frostic, from her beautiful wood block printed book, A Walk With Me. This is the last poem of the last page of this magical, blissful book:

. . . and so . . . . there has ever been

beauty in a feather

drifting in the wind

beauty in the lichens

growing on a rock

beauty in the star dust

shining in the sun

beauty in the grasses

blowing in a breeze . . . . .

. . . . . . so . . . . .there will ever be . . . . . .

wondrous . . . simple . . . beauty

always here on earth . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

My Friend, Serenity

I woke up in a wonderful mood. I have a sense of well-being that is just calmly buzzing in my mind and in my body, like a happy little bee flitting from one pretty flower to another. I just woke up. Nothing is particularly different about any of my circumstances. In short, this peacefulness has nothing to do with anything outside of myself, other than perhaps a very good night’s sleep.

I am choosing to write about this state of being, so that I can always remember how good this feels. We always remember the intense feelings, right? The high highs and the low lows stick out in our minds, like recipe cards with stains and finger prints, sticking out above the rest of the card catalog, reminding and begging our minds to pick up, and to look at those cards, and to study them, again and again and again. Those familiar recipes of our moody moods, are easy to grab on to, and to ruminate in, and to bake in and to stew in. The easy going moods don’t beg for attention. The pleasant moods quietly slip on in, like our feet sliding into familiar, warm, well-worn slippers, without even having to think about the motions. The relaxed, carefree states of our minds, are when we are most present with ourselves. . . . My friend, Serenity, never plays with Worry or Anger or Fear. Serenity never notices Ms. Inner Critic or Mr. Guilt Trip. Serenity can’t be bothered with What If. Serenity never plays with Blame and Resentment or Agitation. And Serenity knows to stay far, far away from Shame. Serenity will stay with us, as long as we want her to stay (honestly, she never really leaves, but sometimes the Others push her into the background). Serenity isn’t loud and boisterous. She never insists on being the center of attention. She doesn’t need for things to be “just a certain way” in order for her to be her happy, carefree self. Sometimes we think that we are bored when we are with Serenity, but when we really let ourselves be with her, and to sit with her, and to enjoy her company, and to baste in her peace and wisdom and sunlight, Serenity is nothing short of sublime.

Who Was that Masked Friday?

The above meme is literally “official information” from the CDC. I’m not convinced that they meant for it to be funny. Happy Friday, friends!! Happy Favorite Things Friday! On Fridays, I stay on the material plane of life, and I list three favorite things, movies, TV shows, songs, food stuff, beauty products, etc. that have made my life fun. I strongly encourage you to list your favorites in my Comments section and please see previous Friday listings for more favorites. Here are today’s favorites:

The Gardener – My friend recommended this film and it was so enjoyable to watch. This is a documentary of sorts, based on the true life of a very wealthy man, Francis Cabot, who devoted most of his life to creating his own fabulous garden and also to support the preservation of other amazing gardens, all over the world. The movie is peaceful. It’s like watching a beautiful meditation. It slows you down enough to make your recognize the true miracles of the natural world. This is one of the most pleasant viewing experiences I have had in quite a while. It is beautiful, calming and comforting, which are rare qualities in films these days.

CoolCabanas – One of my closest friends has to be a mermaid. She loves the beach like no one I know. Any time that she isn’t working, she is at the beach. We had a beach meet up the other night, and she, of course, was the first one to get there, texting us a picture of our “set up”. She had a beautiful CoolCabana tent which kept us shaded and socially distanced, perfectly. My friend was able to put up her CoolCabana easily all by herself (which is the purpose of the invention) and it is the sand which keeps the four corners of the tent firmly rooted in place. If you are planning to be at the beach any time soon, go to this website and check out these wonderful shelters: coolcabanas.com

Motherland Essentials Lotion Bars – Earlier this year, my best friends from college and I, took a weekend reunion trip together to the ever lovely, Charleston, SC. (before all of this Covid mess). We came across these Motherland Essentials products in a really cute, little, girly gift shop. As you know, I am all about good smelling stuff. These lotion sticks smell divine!! I layer my other perfumes on top of these scents and I believe that it makes my perfume last longer. These lotion bars are like aromatherapy in a stick. Motherland Essentials is a minority owned business, as well. Please see their website here: www.motherlandessentials.com

I didn’t do it intentionally, but I just noticed that all of today’s favorites came from my friendships. Friends will always be my favorite. Friends and Friday are the best f-words, ever invented.

Happy Friday Quotes | Good Morning Friday Messages & Wishes

Mood Meter

A few weeks ago, I downloaded the app, Mood Meter, on to my phone. I had read an article about it, and I was curious to experience it myself. The Mood Meter app was created to help people develop better self awareness and emotional intelligence. Basically, how it works, is that you log into the app, and you map your mood, on a four quadrant graph, as shown above. Each color quadrant is divided into smaller squares, so you can better pinpoint, your exact mood. Then, if you would like to try to shift your mood, into an even better feeling place, the app gives you tips on how to do it. (I noticed that “smile”, is a prevalent suggestion.) You also have the option on the app, to type a few words about what is going on in your life and current situations, which very well might be contributing to your current mood.

Last week, was a really cruddy week for me. A lot of things happened that kept my mood in the blue quadrant. (or if I am going to be emotionally intelligent and brutally honest with myself, I should say that I allowed a lot of my life’s circumstances to keep me in the blues) To give you an idea about how tough last week was for me emotionally, according to the mood meter, 64% of the time, I was in the blue quadrant, as opposed to 6% of the time, during the three weeks previous to last week.

Now, of course, I have just been checking into my Mood Meter app randomly, whenever it struck me to do it, without any real rhyme or reason. I have been trying to post my moods at various times of the day, in order to give me clues about what times of day that I tend to feel better. For 23 days in a row, I never missed a day of at least checking into my Mood Meter, at least once or twice. Yesterday, though, I didn’t check into the Mood Meter. I broke my streak. 🙁

I reflected on this fact of missing my check in yesterday, and even without graphing my mood on the Mood Meter app, I came around to some pretty good self awareness. This week has been a much better week for me, emotionally and materially, than last week. Yesterday, was a wonderful day, connecting with my family throughout the day, enjoying a nice lunchtime walk with my husband and our dogs in some comforting, cooler fall weather, and then capping the day off, by meeting some of my closest friends to watch the sunset on the beach. It occurred to me that the proverb “It’s Better to Lose Count While Naming Your Blessings, Than to Lose Your Mind Counting Your Troubles!” (Rev. Run Simmons) totally applied. I sheepishly admitted to myself that I have a tendency to take all of my blessings, and all of the bounty in my life, for granted. It seems that I am quick to question, “Why me?” when troubles come around (and then quick to dot my Mood Meter with a lot of blue dots), but I never seem to question “Why me?” for everything in life which I have been gifted. Overall, my blessings have always, always outweighed my pains. And often, my so-called “pains” have turned out to be blessings in disguise, in the long run. I just took a pause, right now, right before writing this sentence, and I made a point of logging into my Mood Meter and logging my mood, in the far right, of the bright yellow quadrant. I am beaming thinking of one of my wonderful daily blessings that makes me so happy and excited and content- communing with you, my dear readers. I am grateful for you. Thank you for being a constant yellow dot, in each of my days.