Tag: Dr. Seuss

The Follies of Freedom

It’s a really awkward transition in life, when you all of the sudden realize that you can, and you should, put the focus back on yourselves, after raising a family. It’s all new territory. We raised kids for 26 years. (Our four kids are all adults now, ages 20-28) Our primary focus, decision making, and financial commitments were all centered around our family life. And now, just as our adult children are embarking on their young adult lives, we are also embarking on the same kind of freedom of choice, similar to what they are experiencing. And so are our friends and our contemporaries.

It’s fun and inspiring to watch our friends and family and contemporaries in their surprised giddiness, enjoying their new found freedom. It’s enlivening to watch “our people” move to new states, move to different houses, take vacations by themselves, put less focus on their jobs, enjoy rekindled or new-found romances, and focus more on their own re-discovered hobbies and interests. It’s delightful to get to experience our adult children as interesting adult contemporaries with their own lives. It’s a relief to no longer have the everyday family responsibilities, and to no longer have to make choices about other people’s lives, besides your own lives.

In my experience, it takes a while to realize that you are “there.” You’ve crossed the finish line, only to enter into your second lap of life. You feel a little guilty and giddy and amazed and grateful and confused and daunted and relieved. It’s a heady mix.

We parents are so used to taking care of other people other than ourselves, it feels strange to no longer have to do this. (I write this realizing that many of us empty nesters are having to caretake older parents, and sometimes grandchildren and so this freedom of responsibility is not quite over for many. I don’t mean to come across cavalier.) Still, when you realize that you do have more freedom than you’ve had for a long, long time, you almost feel incredulous. You almost feel like you need permission. I have the same feelings now that I had when they handed us our first child, and they wheeled me out of the hospital door to our waiting car. “Really? We can just take this baby home? You’re entrusting us with this whole other human life? Really?” I have the same feelings that my twenty-something kids seem to have, when it dawns on them that my husband and I have no “real say” (nor a desire for a “real say”) in how they choose to live their adult lives. They’re adults. The keys to their lives have been handed back to them. They seem puzzled, pleased and scared. This freedom of choice is exhilarating and a little fearsome and daunting at the same time. If I were a mind reader (and we mothers really are kind of mind readers of our kids, right?), I could see their thoughts as being this: “Oh wow, what if I make a wrong decision? This is all on me now. Where do I even begin?”

Facts are, the best part of this second go-around of freedom in our adult lives, is that we better understand, that there really are very few “wrong” decisions in life. When one of my friends recently purchased a second house, I asked her if she was worried about making the wrong decision. “No,” she said. “If it isn’t right, we’ll just sell it.” Those of us in these middle years, have usually bought and sold at least one home in our lifetimes. We get that there will always be places to live in and different environments to experience. We middle-agers get that even our worst decisions, have provided us with guidance and wisdom to put towards moving forward on our paths. We understand that nothing is truly insurmountable because we have a lot of experiences under our belts, that once seemed insurmountable, until they weren’t. Perhaps the only wrong decisions, are not making any decisions at all.

If you are feeling like me, and you feel like you almost need permission to be a little “self-focused” in this new phase of life, here it is: Permission granted. Great job on raising your family! It is not an easy task. You did well. It is time to celebrate “you”. It is time to love on “you.” It’s time to wind the circle of focus back on to your own life, and to rekindle the parts of you that may have gotten lost or neglected along the way. Go for it! As the favorite Dr. Seuss book goes, that so many of us read to our children, so many times, “Oh baby! The places you’ll go!”

Are you passing on love or are you passing on pain? Heal your pain and pass on love.

Here is the question of the day from 3000 Questions About Me:

2677. Do you think you can learn something from everyone you meet?

Like Rugrats

Trip, our Boykin spaniel, is out getting groomed by our mobile pet groomer, Angelica (and she is an Angel, because Trip is probably the devil in canine form). When I first met Angelica, she said, “Hi, I’m Angelica, you know, like on Rugrats.” I remember thinking to myself, “I wonder if her mother ever thought that this is how her daughter would introduce herself when she named her beautiful baby ‘Angelica’.” But honestly, I have never forgotten Angelica’s name, and although I’m ashamed to admit it, I’m not the best with names. However, whenever Angelica’s van pulls up to my house, this is the first picture that comes to mind:

Recently I reached out to an author named Tamara. She says that she introduces herself to everyone with a Dr. Seuss-like rhyming twist, so they’ll remember her name more easily. “Hi. I’m Tam-I-Am.” (She likes to go by the nickname “Tam”.) So when I emailed her, I started with “Hi, I’m Kelly-Bo-Belly.” Seriously. But then I thought, do I really want to call attention to my belly??? Oh well, too late, this go around.

Tam-I-Am claims that she also adds, “from Maine” to her introduction of herself to other people. “Hello, I’m Tam-I-Am from Maine.” She claims this makes for a great conversation starter because people either love Maine, or they are, at the very least, extremely curious about it. This reminds me of a woman I met, whom I will forever call, “Linda From Dunedin”. We have an adorable little town near to us called “Dunedin”. It’s Scottish and extremely hard to pronounce, for any visitors who aren’t in the know. It’s not pronounced “Doon-din” or “Dun-uh-din”. The correct pronunciation is “Duh-Knee-Din” (at least around here). Anyway, I met Linda From Dunedin at a women’s group, and that’s how she introduced herself to everyone. To this day, I don’t know anyone from that group who calls her just “Linda” anymore.

How do you introduce yourself to people? What about you is unique and memorable? You are the only, one-of-a-kind you someone will ever get the privilege to meet, and if they’re really lucky, get to know. As a name remembering trick, it is a common tip to try to tie someone’s name with how they look, or where they are from, or from a character in a book or a show that reminds you of them. Angelica Like Rugrats, Tam-I-Am, and Linda From Dunedin have already done the hard part of that trick for people. They know that people will want to remember them. And people with that kind of self-confidence and panache and “Hello World! attitude” usually are the memorable, interesting people in the world who make you feel happy and lucky to have met them. And even luckier if the relationship grows.

Are you passing on love or are you passing on pain? Heal your pain and pass on love.

Monday – Funday

Credit: Gregorio Catarino, Twitter

When our recent vacation came to its close, I was reminded of the Dr. Seuss phrase that my friend always uses at the endings of happy events and gatherings, “Don’t cry because it’s over. Smile because it happened.”

On the other hand, when difficult things are happening, I often remind myself, and my family, and my friends, that our lives are really just the vast, blue sky and the clouds always, always pass. This visual always comforts me with its pure truth.

We brought our youngest child, our only daughter, home for the summer, from college yesterday. She successfully completed her freshman year. We enter a new passageway of being home together, when all of us are used to living our own individual lives. There is always an adjustment period during times like these, but I slept soundly and happily last night knowing that she was safely under our roof once again.

Today is May Day. For many cultures today marks the beginning of spring. Today, we enter yet another fresh new passageway into the journey of our lives. Smile for all the good times which lie behind you and that will always be a small part of you, hope for and excitedly anticipate all of the unknown adventures that lie ahead of you, and know that if you do hit a patch of black clouds, these clouds will pass. They always do.

Are you passing on love or are you passing on pain? Heal your pain and pass on love.

Soul Sunday

Sundays are devoted to poetry on the blog. Many people think that poetry has to be serious, long, confusing, emotional, hard to understand and difficult to decipher. It’s easy to forget that Dr. Seuss and Shel Silverstein were also world famous poets with their fun and silly, rhymey ditties. Today’s poem is written by the Hollywood actor, Woody Harrelson. He wrote the poem on social media, to a response to an Irish mother posting a picture of her daughter Cora, remarking on Cora’s resemblance to Woody.

Oh Woody! You’re delightful!

Those who dismiss you are just being spiteful.

I’ve enjoyed your many roles over the years.

But my favorite is when you were the bartender on Cheers.

On the show you fell for a girl who shares my name.

Listening to the song you wrote for her, I may never be the same.

Are you passing on love or are you passing on pain? Heal your pain and pass on love.

Soul Sunday

Hello friends and readers. I hope that you are experiencing a delicious, comforting, restful, yet interesting and rejuvenating holiday weekend. I’m a little “slow on the go” this Sunday morning. I find my mind wandering on to many things, but none of it rhymes, nor do my words seems to fit any kind of a poetic flow. My regular readers know that I devote Sundays to poetry on the blog. Poetry can be serious. Poetry can be fun. Poetry can be mysterious. Poetry can be poignant. Write a poem today. You won’t regret it. You’ll be tickled by your cleverness. Today I am borrowing from some other poets’ cleverness and wit. Here are two poets’ fun and short, little rhymes:

GREEN EGGS AND HAM – Dr. Seuss

I do not like them in a box
I do not like them with a fox
I do not like them in a house
I do not like them with a mouse
I do not like them here or there
I do not like them anywhere
I do not like green eggs and ham
I do not like them Sam I am

A WORD TO HUSBANDS – Ogden Nash

To keep your marriage brimming
With love in the loving cup,
Whenever you’re wrong, admit it;
Whenever you’re right, shut up.

Here are a few other funnies from the humorous American poet, Ogden Nash:

I think that I shall never see a billboard lovely as a tree. Perhaps, unless the billboards fall, I’ll never see a tree at all.

If you don’t want to work you have to work to earn enough money so that you won’t have to work.

Some tortures are physical And some are mental, But the one that is both Is dental.

Enjoy the rest of your weekend, friends. I suppose this is the time of year that marks “unofficially” the end of summer. We made it. As I often asked my kids at dinner on various school days, “What were your highlights? What were your lowlights?” After you get them out of your system, pitch the lowlights, and keep the highlights in your “Beautiful Memories” file, to open up whenever you need their reassurance and joy.

Are you passing on love or are you passing on pain? Heal your pain and pass on love.

Soul Sunday

Are you passing on love or are you passing on pain? Heal your pain and pass on love.

My regular readers know that Sundays are dedicated to poetry here at the blog. On Sundays, I typically write a poem or I share a poem, written by someone else, which has moved me or delighted me. Today, I’m feeling a little silly and cheeky and I think that my poem reflects my mood. I think that poetry is perhaps the most mood reflective out all of our writing styles. You can’t keep emotion and mood out of poetry.

“Today you are you! That is truer than true! There is no one alive who is you-er than you!” – Dr. Seuss

“You have brains in your head. You have feet in your shoes. You can steer yourself any direction you choose.“- Dr. Seuss

Here’s my poem for today:

Saturday Afternoon

I spent all yesterday afternoon reading magazines,

And this is the wisdom that this experience gleans:

Davy Crockett said, “Be sure you’re right and then go ahead.”

Instead of scooping ice cream, take a knife and slice it up like bread.

What are the favorite things of Dolly Parton, who calls her own personal style “glamorous trash”?

She likes to buy Pond’s cold cream, Sharpies, legal pads, and Folgers with some of her hard-earned cash.

When answering “What’s the first thing you do when you get home from a trip?”

My favorite answer was from a reader, Suzanne Nord, with this excellent quip:

“It depends. If I traveled without my family, I hug them all. If I traveled with my family, I hide from them.”

I got inspired by the writings of Rami Shapiro, my favorite rabbi,

And I put a few new, fun products on my list, to buy and to try.

I clipped out some pictures, affirmations, exercises and beautiful art.

Reading magazines will never necessarily make one brilliant and smart.

Still, reading periodicals makes for a light and pleasant afternoon.

It’s good to relax. It’s not every day, that you have to shoot for the moon.

Conundrum

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This has been one of those weeks that what I envisioned the week to look like, has NOT even come close to being true. The calm, cool week of me getting back to my up-to-date, normal pace, organized flow before the holidays are upon us – that perfect, even-keel, “just breathe” week that I have envisioned, is instead turning into a week that is culminating in me having to race out of the house this morning for my first ever acupuncture appointment for a never-ending eye twitch (story for another blog post, some day), while laundry accumulates to the mountain high levels it was when all six of us still lived under one roof (ditto that for dishes in the sink), and our dogs reverting back to puppyhood, having accidents in the house, as a subconscious retaliation (my guess – I’d have to check with Cesar Milan to verify the truth to this theory) to the fact that we are WAY off our typical schedule and they are not happy. It doesn’t feel good to be out of sorts. I agree and I sympathize with my dogs, but I won’t stoop to their level. I’m not THAT crazy.

This excerpt was from my morning meditation by Anne Wilson Schaef:

“We are not machines. We will NEVER be machines. Regardless of how sophisticated science becomes, it will never be able to emulate the complexity of a simple human being. . . . . Today is a good day to celebrate our complexity and our unreasonableness! There are times when we are not understandable to ourselves or anybody else. So be it. Isn’t it great? We are not understandable! We are too complex to be completely understood. We are a conundrum. We are a paradox. We are a mystery. We are unfathomable. We are great!”

What a wonderful way to spin “our crazy”, both individually and collectively! I love it. Here’s some more good reassurance about our craziness (from a “doctor”, no less) before I go prepare myself to get needles poked into my face. Ending note:

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