She Said Yes

Did I ever mention how we got Tripped up, I mean how we got our third dog, our pandemic puppy, Trip? It all started when my close friend from college started sending adorable pictures and videos of her third dog, to our group texting chat, right in the earliest days of the pandemic and quarantine. All three of my friend’s dogs are rescues, and all three are amazingly well-trained canines. My friend has a gift. She is a dog whisperer. In lapping up all of the adorable puppy pics, coming on a daily basis, I temporarily forgot that I don’t have that same innate gift for training dogs. I am a dog lover, but alas, I am not a dog whisperer. My husband adamantly did not want a third dog in our household, but after days and days of me whittling him down, insisting all of the good a puppy would do, for the angst our family was suffering throughout this pandemic crisis, he finally agreed (I love, and so appreciate, his soft spot for me). I think the fact that I had settled on a Boykin spaniel, helped seal the deal. The Boykin is like my husband in dog form – Southern, smart, sporty, with gorgeous dark brown hair and stunning green eyes.

Once I got the green light to proceed, I started calling Boykin spaniel breeders. Now, any of us who adopted pandemic puppies, knows that puppies became a rare commodity during quarantine. If you had found an available puppy (usually before it was even born or even maybe conceived), you had better lay claim immediately. We pandemic puppy adopters (many who did not rescue pups, because all of the shelters were empty at that time, due to all dogs being adopted – one blessing of the pandemic, for sure) found ourselves spending more money on a dog, than we ever have spent on any animal, in our lifetimes. Still, at the time, getting a pandemic puppy seemed like one of the sanest things to do, in an otherwise insane time in history. Go figure.

I located a young man who lived in a rural county in the Carolinas, whose beloved dog, had just had her first litter of Boykin spaniels. The young man was so sweet and kind and earnest, answering all of my questions patiently, with all of that wonderful, wholesome mix of Southern charm and manners. He knew that he would have no problem finding homes for all eight of the puppies, but he seemed particularly impressed that I was from Florida. Having never been to Florida, he was entranced with the idea of one of his puppies, living in the exotic, tropical land of palm trees, white, sandy beaches and Mickey Mouse. All of the other puppies would remain with local hunters and farmers, but this puppy would bring attention to his newly found kennel, in the balmy land of faraway, suburban Florida.

“Well, ma’am, I can tell you are a dog lover, and I really do like the idea of one of my puppies being down there in Florida, so maybe we can arrange something. I’ll save you a puppy with a deposit, and we’ll figure out the logistics, later. Yes, ma’am, I think this is all right and meant to be,” he said, with enthusiasm and positivity.

And without hesitation, I sent him a puppy deposit on Venmo, right that very second.

The puppies grew older and healthy, and my daughter and I face-timed our charming, young breeder to pick out Trip. We got to pick out our fur baby from the group of four of the puppies, still not spoken for (the breeder earnestly stuck with his order of deposits) and we both agreed on Trip immediately. It was then that my gallant, young friend, asked me to call him, one-on-one, to discuss a big favor.

“Ma’am, how would you feel about meeting me in Savannah, Georgia, to pick up your puppy?” he asked.

“That sounds reasonable. I can do the whole drive, in a day. Sure, that’ll be fine,” was my answer, filled with excitement and anticipation of having the day planned and scheduled, to scoop up our new fur family member.

“Okay, great, and ma’am, how would you feel about helping me out with a little surprise for my girl? I would like to ask her to marry me there, and I am hoping to get it on camera, right there in front of that majestic fountain, in that pretty park, which I’ve seen on the internet,” he said, calmly, matter-of-factly and full of faith and trust that I was up to the task, despite having never, ever met me in person.

Now I love love. I was completely honored and overwhelmed with the beauty and magical-ness, and seemingly fated quality of it all. I said, “Yes!” immediately without thought or hesitation, forgetting the fact that my camera skills are about as good as my dog training skills. In other words, full of good intentions, but lacking in skill.

My youngest two children had planned, all along, to drive along with me to get our puppy. (there weren’t a whole lot of other options for things to do, in those early quarantine days) Their response to the proposal plans was not quite as enthusiastic as mine. “What if we mess it up? That’s a lot of stress and anxiety to put on us. Mom, we are really perfect strangers with this guy!” my son lamented.

The reality of it all, started wearing on me, too, but the young man seemed so sure of himself and his plan, that I felt like I couldn’t say no. It felt like we were part of a wonderful, meant-to-be, romantic story or movie. I innately knew that we had to go with the flow of the Universe. Plus, I knew that it would be a wonderful story for all of us, that we would never forget. It would be a glimmer of happiness and hope, in a time of so much fear and uncertainty.

When we arrived in Savannah, and we met our breeder friend and his love, Trip was a ball of adorable, yet completely spastic energy. Having been cooped up for hours, he wanted to run in circles and chase leaves and bugs. He no longer cared to be held and cuddled. Our breeder was clearly nervous, and not in any hurry to rush “popping the question”. I did my best to steer all of us towards the fountain, trying to make eye contact with Trip’s breeder, while my agitated and nervous children had their hands ready on their phones, like they were guns, in holsters, during a Western quick draw. Suddenly, Trip made a mad dash underneath the fence of the glorious fountain, seemingly doomed for some kind of looming danger, like drowning or getting lost in an endless sea of bushes surrounding the fountain. Trip’s impulsivity seemed to stir our breeder friend, into action, as well. He dropped on his knee. The rest of what happened is a blur for me. I was desperately chasing Trip. (something that I’ve gotten quite familiar with over these past several months) After frantically picking up Trip, like a falcon snatching up its prey, I glanced over to see a beautiful, in love, young couple embracing and crying. I heard some clapping from onlookers. And I looked at my children, and their faces looked satisfied and relieved. My children had gotten the critical moment on camera, for posterity. Mission accomplished.

About a week ago, our Boykin breeder texted me (we exchange puppy stories and pictures every once in a while), checking in on Trip. He then asked me for some advice. I held my breath and bit my lip . It wasn’t anything like his previous request, thankfully. It turns out our breeder friend and his fiancée want to make a trip to Florida, once this whole pandemic thing is under control. ‘Where did I think that they should go?’ is all that he wanted to know. I love love. I think that those two lovers will do just fine wherever they end up going . . . both in Florida, and in life.

Quotidian

Quotidian – ordinary, every day, common, conventional, unexceptional, commonplace, mainstream, nondescript, characterless, colorless, pedestrian, uninspiring, garden variety.

Due to the coronavirus (and my chosen response to the coronavirus), my every day life, perhaps, could be described as quotidian. I have tried to spice things up by bringing a third dog into the raucous mix. I have invited drama into our lives by allowing our sons to go back to college. I’ve conjured up old, barnacled ghosts, by bringing the thrills and perils of boating back into my life. I have read many new books, and I have spent much time walking and thinking and ruminating on life’s mysteries. Still, I am honestly at a point of restlessness in the ho-hum doldrums and tedious mundanity, of my every day life. Thus, I have created a road trip for myself, to a destination unknown to me, and to my family. I always get jittery and excited before trips, and I am fortunate enough to have explored some truly fabulous places in this world, but the level of excitement that I feel right now is unexplainable. You know that you need a change of scenery, when the idea of another day in your own company, makes you want to throw up, and to make excuses to not meet up at the mirror. In the words of “The Boss”, Bruce Springsteen, “I’m just tired and bored with myself.” I need a revived version of myself to keep me interested. Trips have a way of waking up my creativity, and of reminding me about the dusty corners of myself that I had long forgotten existed. Of course, the trip planned is to a remote place of limited habitation (thanks again to the coronavirus), but still, places of limited habitation are typically full of rare and beautiful and wild species rarely seen in quotidian life. I plan to fully immerse in the delightful, untamed energy of it all and to report back to you daily, hopefully in a more lively, un-quotidian style.

253 Inspirational Travel Quotes From REAL Travellers To Fuel Your  Wanderlust | Bel Around The World

Animal Love Story

Josie, our collie, was teaching Trip, our spaniel puppy some yoga yesterday. It’s good for them to practice yoga, both mentally and physically. I should have joined in. (I’m giddy in excitement because our eldest son comes home today for a visit, but I’m not going to say anything because the superstitious part of me, just doesn’t want to jinx it.) Speaking of cute animals, did you see the news story about Hubert and Kalisa, the aging African lions at the Los Angeles zoo? (I cannot wait to see our son. We haven’t seen him, in person, since Christmas due to this damn virus. But again, I’ll just keep this upcoming visit, to myself.) Hubert and Kalisa were best friends and partners, and were rarely seen apart. They were euthanized together yesterday, because they each had quite a bit of ailments, at their ripe age of 21 years, which is apparently a very, very long life for a lion. (Of course, there is all sorts of drama with my son flying in, because besides the virus fears, we are watching the path of the hurricane, whose name I can’t pronounce (Why do we even have to get creative with names of storms, these days?!?) very closely. But I’m just going to keep my fears to myself and I am just going to stay positive.) I think that Hubert and Kalisa were like the regal, real life fur edition of The Notebook. (I can’t wait to announce on the blog that my son is safely in town, tomorrow. My readers are going to be so surprised and so very happy for me.)

What a Trip!

I’ve neglected to mention that we have added a new member to our immediate family. During these unusually tough times, we’ve enjoyed such comfort and distraction and amusement from our current fur babies, Ralph, our Labrador retriever, and Josie, our rough collie, that we decided we needed another fur friend, to make our family complete. Well, I should say, the kids and I, decided that getting a new puppy would be a wonderful, uplifting experience, while having to remain so “holed up.” My husband was a very reluctant member of the puppy band wagon. Nonetheless, knowing me and loving me for decades now, my husband knows that I love “a lot” of my favorite things. We have four kids, and we have always had a menagerie to go along with the quartet of kids. So with my husband’s grudging blessing, about two weeks ago, we brought “Trip” (as in “third dog”, or in the spirit of this year of the 2020 quarantine, “instead of a . . .”) into our home and into our hearts. Trip lives up to his name. This little Boykin spaniel is quite the Trip! And as what always happens, with all of our dogs, Trip is quite besotted with my husband, which is something that Trip and I totally share.

Dogs, Shells, Mimosas . . . Friday!

Today, we get to be like our dogs!! We always say that we want to come back as them, right?! Honestly, I want to come back as either my husband’s boss’ dog or my aunt’s and uncle’s dog. No doubts!

Happy Friday, friends and readers!! Today is Favorite Things Friday!! On Fridays, we stay away from deep thoughts and reflections here at Adulting-Second Half (unless you are pondering as to whose dog you want to come back as). On Fridays, I list three favorite things, websites, songs, products, anythings that keep my life going along in a fun way. Please share the love with your favorites in the Comments section (shout out to Kit, my most prolific commenter, so far! Kit, today you are my favorite!) and also check out previous Friday posts for more favorites. You can never have too many favorites!

Here are today’s favs:

Cherub’s Doses & Mimosas song – Please just ignore the nasty lyrics and profanity and just jam to this tune. My sons were annoying our neighbors with this tune blasting out of their waterproof JBL speakers (that they kept testing by throwing the speakers into the pool – you are impressive, JBL) this past weekend and I found myself not able to stay still, from its beginning until its end. (much to their chagrin) Try not to even bob your head, or lift your shoulders while this song is playing. See, not possible. Close your eyes and go back to your night club days, so very long ago . . . If you can pretend that you don’t understand English, this is the perfect Friday mood setter song.

Betta Fish – One of our pets is Big Dickie. He is the Betta fish who lives in a container in our powder room (you do the math). Big Dickie has lived with us for a few years now. He is a beautiful, gorgeous, giant red Betta fish. (all of the Bettas with huge, big, fancy fins are the males). Bettas actually have personality. Any time, any one of us uses the powder room, Big Dickie rises the surface to greet us. He thinks that it is feeding time. (circle of life moment). Bettas can’t move fast, because their fins are actually quite heavy for their bodies to lug around. So they just sit still and stare at you (if look closely, they actually have very interesting, expressive faces) Big Dickie actually has a little leaf perch, suctioned to the side of his bowl, so that he can rest. If you want a low maintenance pet that is really quite interesting, I highly recommend a Betta (two male bettas will kill each other in an aquarium – they are also known as fighting fish, so keep ’em separated.)

Shell Jewelry – I’ve always loved shell jewelry, even when I didn’t live in Florida. Right now cowrie shell jewelry is all of the rage. Cowrie shells are those white shells that look like a piece of macaroni, often confused with puka shells. Pukas are white shells that look more round and bead- like than cowries, but they are lovely, too. I love brown and white shells made into jewelry. One of my favorite pieces of jewelry is a wampum bracelet that my husband bought for me in Martha’s Vineyard. (my grandparents eloped there during World War II – very special place to me) Wampum is a purple and white shell that Native Americans used throughout history as a form of currency. The wampum jewelry on Martha’s Vineyard is made by the Aquinnah Wampamnoag tribe who have a reservation on the island.

There you have it! As always, thank you for coming by! I love you guys!!

Fur Babies

I have two dogs. They were born on the exact same day in May, exactly one year apart. Ralphie, our Dudley yellow Labrador is a little over two and Josie, our tri-color Collie is a little over one. They are both wonderful creatures.

Ralphie is over-the-top, in your face exuberance and intensity. He is smart as a whip, lead hopelessly by his bear-sized nose, and constantly on the move, unless he is entirely passed out. Still he keeps his fervor going by swimming in his sleep. When he gives kisses, they are full, wet and all encompassing. His huge tongue is like a wash cloth you would use to wash your car, and with a few passionate licks, he has managed to cover your whole face, your ears and your neck. He is not at all protective, he would definitely have the “flight” tendency in a “fight or flight” scenario. He is so absolutely and completely in-tuned to us, his family and to himself. Every night, he comes to the couch, where my husband and I are sitting, to remind us that it is his bedtime by lying his head on one of our knees.

Josie is elegance, sweetness and perkiness all wrapped up in the package of a beautiful, warm, fluffy dog. My daughter calls her the teddy bear. I liken her to a giant Pomeranian. She is a cuddle-bug, with a capital C. Her licks are dainty, with her small gentle tongue barely darting out of her mouth as she “cleans” your hands, much like a cat. She lays with her front legs crossed, very lady-like, even when she is deep in sleep. She is always alert to dangers, warning us, dependably, of the impending doom of the Amazon delivery person or the pack of squirrels living in our trees.

Walking the dogs every night is interesting. Ralphie always has his nose to the ground. He is on a mission and seemingly unaware of anything other than what he is tracking with his stoutly snuffer. Josie, being a herding dog, has her head on a swivel, only occasionally indulging in the scents on the ground which Ralphie is likely to roll around in, if he feels any slack in the leash. Josie always greets the other dogs, ducks, and deer that we see regularly, pertly, prettily, excitedly, with her beautiful, fluffy tail swishing elegantly as she gives each and every creature we meet, a delighted, buzzing look as if to say, “Isn’t life just grand?!?”

The dogs are a perfect yin yang to each other. Josie loves playing life guard to Ralphie, as he does his Navy seal routine, treading water and swimming in our pool tirelessly. She runs around the pool, watching him, barking warnings when she thinks that he is too tired and should get out of the pool. Josie is the first to bark warnings of impending visitors to our home. Ralphie loyally follows behind her, looking confused and bewildered, hackles up, sounding out the occasional deep “Woof!” to back her up (to which fight he is not at all sure), his formidable size and intense stare, enough to sometimes get people to forget, that he is just a big, goofy Lab, easily won over to anyone who offers a pat or a treat.

We adore our dogs. Our sons are all coming home this weekend, all with the same sentiment, “We miss the dogs.” Our dogs are so uniquely themselves. They don’t try to change or to be something different than who they inherently are to the core. They don’t try to be like each other. They adore our family, each other and life, sharing toys and playful romps with exuberance and yet restraint. Animals have so much to teach of us about living life. Ralphie and Josie, are my friends, companions, inspiration, comforters, protectors and mentors, and not necessarily in that order.

It’s a Dog’s Thanksgiving

My friend has a whole houseful of family and friends staying with her this Thanksgiving week.  A lot of them brought their dogs along.  Apparently, things have gotten a little spicy with the dogs.

One of the dogs staying with my friend is very yappy and just doesn’t shut up.  Another dog just isn’t well-behaved and apparently never really learned good doggy manners.  The younger dogs are full of energy and they are feeding off of each others’ energy, creating quite a frenzy.  One of the dogs appears to be in heat and is being inappropriately affectionate with anything that breathes, or doesn’t breathe, for that matter.  My friend’s older male dog, the dog of the house, has never been particularly fond of other dogs to begin with, and he is quick to snap and put the other dogs into their place.  There have been squabbles over food, toys and sleeping arrangements.

All things being said, individually, these pups are all sweet, lovable mutts.  It’s just they are not used to being together in close quarters and in unfamiliar territory.  Her dog is not used to sharing his stuff.  The anxiety the dogs are feeling, brings out the worst in them.  My friend did text a cute picture of the dogs, at the end of the day, all cuddled up in a pile of fur.  Her dog even appears to be giving another dog a good, sweet lick.  Honestly, I think that they’ll make it through the week, just fine.

True Apologies

Earlier this summer, our family had gone to a local water park for the entire day.  We hired our long-time pet sitters to come to our home to take our dogs out a few times that day and to walk them.  Our pet sitters are a lovely mother and daughter team who have watched our dogs when we have been away on vacation many times, sometimes even out of the country.  They have always been reliable and responsible.  It has always been a great comfort to us that they look after our sweet pets and even check up on our home when we are gone.  Their service is truly good peace of mind for us.

Unfortunately, on this particular day, our pet sitters made a mistake and did not have us on the calendar for the right day.  Later that afternoon, I realized I had not left a check out for them and I called them to let them know that I would send the check in the mail.  It was then that we all figured out that a date mix-up had happened and that they had not been to the house to look after our dogs.  We were all upset and they quickly got into their car and headed over to our house.  The pups were good and everything ended up being just fine.  Honestly, at that point I wasn’t upset about the situation any longer.  Mistakes happen and all was well.

However, the best part of this story comes after that little fiasco.  The part that really made me ponder my own actions in life, was how well our pet sitters handled the aftermath of their mistake.  In my email, I received the most genuine apology I have received (or frankly, given) in a long time from anyone or any entity.  Our pet sitters completely owned their mistake, making no excuses.  This was no “Sorry But . . . ” apology.  They were not defensive.  This was no “Sorry That You Are Upset . . . ” apology.  Our pet sitters apologized profusely for their mistake with full understanding of why this experience would have upset us, let us know the thought-out changes that they had implemented in their scheduling system to ensure that this type of mistake wouldn’t happen again in the future and asked us kindly to trust them again for future business.  My family understands that mistakes happen and we had no intention of “firing” them after this one episode, but the way that the mistake was handled was a lesson to me that I won’t soon forget.

Why is it so hard to earnestly apologize?  Why do we think others expect perfection from us?  None of us are perfect.  We all make mistakes.  I think when we are wronged, all that we are looking for is true remorse from the offender, a feeling of being understood and heard as to why we are upset, and evidence that the offender has fully and earnestly considered changes to ensure that they won’t hurt us again. In that way, they are showing us that they value us and that they value our relationship to us. In my experience, these types of true apologies are rare in today’s world.  True apologies are rare enough that I felt the urge to blog about them.

We have had our pet sitters come to our home and take care of our pets several times since this experience and they always provide a great service.  I’m grateful to know them, not just as people who help take care of our family, but also, as teachers and way-showers, who have been good examples to me that showing humility and taking full responsibility for our actions are true markers of confidence and character.  I actually have even more respect for our pet sitters now, after the mistake, than I did before.  It’s been a valuable lesson for all parties involved and the dogs’ tails are still wagging.