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D-Words

The mind craves information, which is interesting. The soul craves inspiration, which is crucial.
~ Alan Cohen

I don’t plan on tying in the quote above to my writing today. I just happened to read the Alan Cohen quote this morning and I thought that it was so spot on, I had to share it. I look at my blog as a museum or a treasure chest of thoughts and ideas that I can come back to any time that I want to, or need to, and I hope that you see it as the same thing ~ a repository of ideas.

In other news, a few minutes ago, I got into a war of wills with our Boykin spaniel, Trip. I felt his soft fur at my feet as I was writing, and I heard the rustling in the garbage can, but by the time that I put 2+2 together (I’m slow in the morning time), Trip had disappeared with paper in his mouth. Trip and our collie, Josie are paper hounds. They love to chew paper. And then inevitably they end up throwing up said paper, somewhere around the house, hours later, usually in more than one “crime scene”. So, I frantically started yelling to Trip, “Leave it. Drop it!”

And in his mind, I think that he was saying to me, “Ha! Dream it.”

And then things got even better for Trip because I got easily baited into a game of chase, running around the couch (which by the way, they say is an excellent thing to do if you are ever being chased by an assailant. It is much harder to catch anyone when they are running around something, such as a parked car, than just running away.) And I know this tip. And I understand why it would be true. And yet, I still got baited into hopelessly chasing Trip around the couch, yelling, while our other dogs bounced and barked at all of the exciting revelry.

Now, two of our adult children are already home for the holidays, and I didn’t want to wake them, and I still didn’t want to clean up dog vomit later, so I knew that I had come up with another plan. As it is said, “What is the definition of insanity? Doing the same thing, again and again, and expecting different results.”

So, I went to the savory dog treat jar and I cleverly called to my pack, “Anyone want a treat?” Ralphie, the ever-hungry, always on a diet, labrador was already there, sitting with his mouth watering, and Josie was close behind. Trip stood in the entrance of the kitchen, paper in mouth, obviously carefully considering the situation. Reluctantly, he dropped the paper in his mouth. Treats inevitably taste better than wood pulp. (although probably not much better, although I have never tried them.)

Now, some would say that you should never reward a dog for being a d^%&**& (you fill in the blanks, there are a lot of words that start with the letter “D” that could work here, if you use your imagination). Trip did not listen to my command, why should he be rewarded? I think that the real treat was that I craftily outsmarted the little fellow. (Yes, I wrote that line with a smug, self-impressed expression on my face.)

And yet, if I am honest with myself, Trippy might be getting the last laugh here. I have written an entire blog post about him. And he upgraded from paper to dog treat, all the while misbehaving and causing a ruckus. (Yes, as I write this line, I peer down at my little brown spaniel at my feet, and he has quite the smug, self-impressed expression on his own cute, little face. D^&%$&!)

Are you passing on love or are you passing on pain? Heal your pain and pass on love.

Monday – Funday

Our eldest son came home for the holidays yesterday. If our son didn’t realize how excited his mom and dad were for him to be here, our dogs made sure to show him. To be as uninhibited as a happy dog, should be on all of our holiday wish lists this year.

Speaking of dogs, I had sort of a mystical experience this weekend, when I opened up a box of a Christmas wreath which we never put up, but we keep in our attic year after year. In the box, was only the wreath and a small, white satin pouch. I opened the pouch and I found an ornament with a picture of Lacey, my first collie and the dog who transformed me and loved me like no other dog in my life. I do not recall ever buying, or seeing this ornament. It touched my heart deeply and I felt connected to the spirit of Lacey and all the love she gave to me and our family. This ornament will be the centerpiece of this year’s tree.

I wrote about Lacey, years ago, here:

Lacey – Love

Are you passing on love or are you passing on pain? Heal your pain and pass on love.

Marco!

credit: Just Mike, Twitter

Laughing is good. There are a lot of funny people in the world. I saw someone pose the question on Twitter the other day, “Would you rather be smart or be funny?” A lot of people responded that most funny people tend to be quite smart. “Funny” itself is kind of a cute, funny word.

I pick up our youngest child, our daughter, from her university today. After a small bout of homesickness, she came out of her shell and took her first summer session at college by storm. My one son exclaimed that his sister had done more activities this summer at college, than he had done there in all four years. Funny.

Our daughter will be home for a couple of weeks, before she heads back to school for fall session. I am excited and aware. Once a child leaves home they never come back quite the same. And this is not a bad thing. It’s fun to see the facets of your children that are glistening new aspects of themselves, which only occur when they leave the nest and really explore things on their own, with a blossoming adult outlook. This is when your relationship with your children starts to evolve into a mutual, adult relationship, and this is when we parents and children start to explore each other’s personalities, experiences, perspectives on a more level ground. We get to know each other more as “people” versus rigid, hierarchical roles. I honestly enjoy this shift. It’s surprising, interesting, and a growing moment for both of you.

As has been the case with all four of our children, I think that our daughter is most excited to reunite with our dogs. They never disappoint. Dogs never hold back their exuberant feelings of love and excitement.

Are you passing on love or are you passing on pain? Heal your pain and pass on love.

Monday – Funday

Never forget your power, my loves. And this comes from a woman who adores her amazing husband and her wonderful three sons every bit as much as she adores her incredible daughter and her magnificent self.

It’s interesting to me that Josie, our only female dog, rules the roost. Ralphie is bigger and older than her. Trip is more audacious than her. Neither of them has ever tried to usurp her authority. She has never had to raise her voice more than a gentle growl. They respect her. Ralphie and Trip tussle with one another all of the time. But ultimately, Josie rules the roost. She knows her worth and they respect that continually. Josie never gives her power away. She owns it. And everyone in the family adores Josie, including Ralphie and Trip. And even more interestingly, she is considered the favorite dog of ours, of anyone who isn’t in our family. She is continually called “the sweetie.” Sweeties, let’s rise. Have a great day. Never, ever forget your power.

Are you passing on love or are you passing on pain? Heal your pain and pass on love.

Little Red Vest

Are you passing on love or are you passing on pain? Heal your pain and pass on love.

When Trip, our Boykin spaniel, was a puppy he would often swim in the pool, along with our Labrador retriever, Ralphie. He never loved the pool as much as Ralphie does, but he swam in it fairly often. Trip swims well. He is a sporting dog, bred to retrieve fallen birds in bodies of water. But then, for some strange reason, Trip just stopped swimming in the pool. He preferred to hang out with the boss lady, our herder, the rough collie, Josie, who runs around the pool, barking out orders at everyone, like a frantic, control freak lifeguard who can’t stop blowing the whistle. Trip seemed to have developed a little bit of fear of the pool, seemingly, out of nowhere.

Now, when we take Trip out on boating excursions (Boykins are bred to be boating dogs), we put a little red life vest on him. Trip loves swimming in the saltwater, and the minute one of us jumps out of the boat, he jumps out, too, often landing right on top of whoever is swimming in the water outside of the boat. He never thinks twice about swimming all around in the ocean, which in theory, is a lot more dangerous than swimming around in a little pool, especially with our vigilant lifeguard Josie guarding it, as if she were a presidential secret service agent. Honestly, on boating days, it is often difficult to coax Trip out of the water and back into the boat.

So this weekend, when we were having a fun pool day at home, my son decided that he was going to get Trip comfortable swimming in the pool again. To do so, he put Trip in his little red life vest. Surprisingly, that’s all it really took. It was like the red life vest flipped a switch, and we couldn’t keep Trip out of the pool. It didn’t take any coaxing at all. The little red life vest gave Trip all of the confidence that he needed to become a pool hound all over again.

That got me to thinking about how we all have our own “little red life vests” that get us over our fears of doing things. We put so much confidence into our own “little red life vests”, even if they are just symbolic, like lucky charms. I looked up why we put so much reliance on our lucky charms and I questioned if they really “work.” Supposedly they do:

“Relying on lucky charms is superstitious, but in fact, it actually works. Researchers have found that people who believe they have luck on their side feel greater “self-efficacy”—the belief that we’re capable of doing what we set out to do—and this belief actually boosts mental and physical performance.” – Psychology Today

“The study says that people who tend to have better luck after carrying certain items have so because of the belief that they are protected from bad luck. This belief acts as a blocker from failure as people go out and give their best shot without worrying about what they might lose.” – Times of India

Now, I have often heard less superstitious persons than myself, proudly and smugly proclaim, “I make my own luck!” And that is true. Obviously, the studies show that people who believe in lucky charms, get into a mindset that says that they cannot fail, and thus, it is that mindset which helps them to succeed (not the inanimate object). Having lucky charms, is a Jedi mind trick that we play with ourselves. But, so what? Obviously, in many cases (such as with Trip), it works. And it’s fun.

What’s your “little red life vest”? What’s a big fear that you have? Can you find “a little red vest” that will help you to overcome your fear? Just remember to never forget that deep down you have made your own luck. Remember that your little red vest is just a little crutch that you made for yourself, and the power was never really transferred to that placebo pill, or to that dream catcher, or to “my precious” (Lord of the Rings reference). The power to overcome your fears and challenges and move on to your victories was always inside of you, your mind just needed a physical trinket and symbol of that fact, to remind itself of its own great and powerful abilities.

“Luck is believing you’re lucky.” – Tennessee Williams

“You can live a charmed life by causing others to live a charmed life. That is, be the source of ‘charm’ — of charming moments and experiences — in the life of another. Be everyone else’s Lucky Charm! Make all who you touch today feel ‘lucky’ that you crossed their path. Do this for a week and watch things change. Do it for a month and you’ll be a different person.”- Neale Donald Walsch

The Day After

This is our Ralphie, the day after my daughter’s 1970s party last weekend. Ralphie was the life of the party. Ralphie thought that he had died and gone to Heaven having that many people swimming in the pool with him at one time. He showed off his cannonball and diving skills for anyone who asked him to – which was everyone. When the kids created a dance circle, Ralphie happily took his turn in the middle of the circle, and chased his own tail for at least one minute straight (a natural high). Ralphie then decided to track and to chase down the flashing disco lights, in his usual, seriously focused, hunting dog style. In short, Ralphie knows how to party. I hope that no matter how much fun that you may have gotten around to last night, you are not experiencing Ralphie’s after party burnout this morning. But if you are, it will pass and hopefully, it was worth it!

“Life is short, wear your party pants.” – Loretta LaRoche

Are you passing on love or are you passing on pain? Heal your pain and pass on love.

Balls, Pools, and the OFF button

We have this little spot in our neighborhood that is remote, and off of the beaten path. We can let our three dogs off lead and throw them tennis balls ad nauseum, to work off their seemingly endless energy. It’s a little buggy there, but that’s okay. It’s what keeps the patch of land from becoming overrun with people. When we are done playing fetch, our Labrador retriever, Ralphie, and our Boykin spaniel, Trip, tend to carry their tennis balls, in their mouths, all of the way home. The balls are gross and slimy, but the tennis balls almost act as pacifiers to our worn-out, sporty dogs.

Ralphie, our Labrador, also loves our pool and swimming in our pool, even more than he loves his tennis balls. We always joke that we have our pool for Ralphie. Islands of his fur tend to float around like the Great Pacific Garbage Patch, when our pool pump isn’t on. I often make the off-the-cuff remark that I wish I loved anything as much as Ralphie loves to swim.

But that’s not a nice remark, nor is it true. There are so many people and places and things in my life that I love every bit as ferociously and exuberantly as Ralphie loves to swim. It’s just that Ralphie doesn’t let any fear in, when he loves. Ralphie doesn’t swim around in the pool saying, “Damn, I love this pool so much, I hope that we never move, nor that I get too arthritic to swim, nor that a hurricane destroys my little chlorine haven.” Ralphie doesn’t allow distraction in, when he is doing what he loves. He doesn’t swim around the pool thinking about the state of the world and all of the horrors of the headlines. When Ralphie does what he loves, that’s just what he does. He embodies love. He soaks in love. He embraces love right in the moment. Sometimes when I watch other creatures in nature, I wonder if our human being’s thinking and reasoning abilities are truly a blessing or a curse? I need to use my own thinking and reasoning abilities to develop an “OFF button” for my brain, so that when I am with the people whom I love more than Ralphie loves to swim, and I am in the places which I love more than Ralphie loves to swim, and I am doing the things that I love to do, even more than Ralphie loves to swim, I can switch the Brain Button to OFF and I can just embody love. I can soak in the love. I can embrace love right in the moment. When I find that OFF button and keep it duct taped to OFF for some moments, I can get a little taste of peaceful, loving, eternity right in my own little patch of Earth. Isn’t that what we are always saying that we want anyway?

Are you passing on love or are you passing on pain? Heal your pain and pass on love.

Warm >

I didn’t feel like watching TV last night, so the quotes below are what I ended up taking screenshots of, while I was scrolling through Twitter, while cuddling on the couch with my husband and our Boykin spaniel, Trip. We had just gotten back from our nightly walk, and it was humid as could be (summer in Florida, need I say more?), and I felt so hot and grimy and sticky. Trip was also panting heavily from walking in the heat, but that overheated feeling never stops Trip from cuddling. With Trip, snuggling beats staying cool, Every. Single. Time. Therefore, I happily welcomed hot dog fur on my leg, and equally hot air being panted on to my skin, as we both felt utterly refreshed by our restoring mutual love and appreciation. Trip is absolutely right, Snuggling > Cool and Aloof, every day, all of the time.

The first story which I clicked on, from my Twitter feed, was a tweet from one of my all time favorites, The Sheldrick Wildlife Trust, which is a sanctuary located in Kenya, Africa. The Sheldrick Wildlife Trust rehabilitates orphaned elephant babies and other orphaned species, until they are ready to be on their own in the wild. The stories that The Sheldrick Wildlife Trust typically sends links to on Twitter, are usually stories about how the various orphans were rescued, and came to be at the sanctuary. Last night’s story was about baby Vaarti (which means “luck” in the local dialect). Most of the babies at the sanctuary are found out in the wild, by searchers who fly over the land, or by reports from locals who see babies, desperately trying to survive out in the wild, who have sadly lost their mothers, usually to poachers or due to drought and other natural disasters. Typically, these babies are brought to the sanctuary by rescue missions utilizing trucks, and planes and helicopters. However, Vaarti was actually delivered right up to the stockades by a young, wild female elephant, who was too young herself to be Vaarti’s mother, but who recognized that he needed help. This precious, young elephant had the innate sense to deliver Vaarti right up to the gates of the sanctuary. Once that she saw that Vaarti was in the hands of safekeeping at the Sheldrick Wildlife Trust, she disappeared back into the bush, and was never seen again. Angels on Earth, come in so many different beautiful forms, don’t they? Big Hearts > Cold hearts, every day, all of the time.

This next little tweet is super sweet, and also quite heartwarming:

“This kid probably 8/10 years old asked politely if he could pet my dog, I said yes. After he pet her, he hopped on his bike, popped a wheelie and said, “that was for you, thanks for letting me pet your dog.” Highlight of my day, to be honest.” (maryxwetzel, Twitter)

This tweet has a 154,000 likes from a Twitter account that has about 5,000 followers. It seems to me that we are all pretty hungry, for the good, little heartwarming stories wherever we can find them, these days. Heartwarming little stuff, such as stories about pop wheelies > Cold hard facts, every day, all of the time.

And this last tweet, just cracked me up. As a middle-aged woman about to release her youngest little baby out into the wilds of college in a few weeks, my mood meter has, admittedly, been all over the map:

“I had a mood ring once. It died of confusion.” – (Anais Ninja, Twitter)

If I personally were wearing a mood ring lately, it most likely would explode and make a mess all over my hand. Giggles are great for mood regulation. Self deprecating, warm-hearted humor, and downhome funny > Cold and aloof and serious, every day, all of the time.

Are you passing on love or are you passing on pain? Heal your pain and pass on love.

Monday – Funday

Friendship checklist list:

– values you

– accepts you

– includes you

– protects you

– respects you

– supports you

– believes in you

– encourages you

– understands you

credit: @Mindset4_Life (Twitter)

I sent this to a few of my great friends last night. I’m extremely lucky to have some amazingly good friends in my life who hit all of these marks. Do you have good friends? Are you a good friend? Looking at the list, I thought to myself, no wonder why we love our dogs so much. No wonder why the dog is called “man’s best friend.”

Are you passing on love or are you passing on pain? Heal your pain and pass on love.

What Belongs to Her

As I write this, our little brown dog, Trip, our Boykin spaniel, is lying at my feet, making sure that his paw is touching my foot. He does this often. He likes to have one paw on his people, whenever we are sitting on the couch, or at our desks, or at the kitchen table. He knows the nurturance and healing nature of touch and he soothes himself with that touch, whenever he gets the opportunity.

Ralphie, our Labrador retriever, is overwhelmingly enthusiastic about everything that he loves every single day. He gets absolutely jumpy and lick-y and giddy about dinner, despite the fact that dinner is the same damn thing every single night: two cups of Hills Science Diet prescription diet dog kibble, put into a maze bowl, to make it last longer. Ralphie shows that same level of enthusiasm for greeting his family, for playing fetch, and for swimming in the pool. His whole body shouts out his feelings of delight, like he can barely contain the happy energy of those feelings inside of his powerful, muscular physique.

Josie, the collie, who is the most obedient of our canine trio, sometimes stubbornly plops herself down in the yard, into her own place in the sun, and refuses to come in. She knows the healing sensation of lying in the sunshine, and she insists that we sit awhile and relax and bathe in some Vitamin D. When I bury my nose into her sunbaked fur, I understand that she is right. She is absolutely right.

Nature makes no apologies for what she needs. Nature never hides her own true nature. That’s not in her nature to do so. Nature is so wise and pure and true. Why do we try to pretend that we aren’t part of nature? Why do our minds try to put up barricades to letting our own natural selves lead the way? Nature flows so perfectly, until we do things to artificially “correct” it. The thing about nature, is that she is quietly patient and powerful. In the end, she won’t let us destroy her, and she hopes that we remember that we are part of her, instead of insisting on separating, and then sadly end up destroying ourselves.

credit: @Native3rd, Twitter

Are you passing on love or are you passing on pain? Heal your pain and pass on love.