I’m going to the dentist today. Obviously, I’m not excited about that fact. I didn’t put an exclamation point on that sentence. Yay! I’m going to the dentist today! I have to get a crown because my back molar chipped. My dentist insists that this is because I refuse to buy an expensive, bulky mouth guard to sleep with every night to protect my pearlies as I grind away at my teeth at night. I insist that those high priced hunks of rubber are only going to add to my dust collector collection, as I won’t be able to sleep with wax lips in my mouth.
For years, my dentist and I have had a love/hate relationship. He thinks I’m stubborn and foolish but he loves me because I’m the one who has made sure that all six members of the family have seen him regularly for seven years. I say, “Here I am, your favorite, know-it-all patient!” and he says, “Great to see you, my retirement savings have just gone up.” He has taken the impacted wisdom teeth out of the jaws of our two older boys, and created the beautiful smiles, with years of pricey orthodontics, for our two younger children. He has filled fillings, created crowns and lectured all of us to do a better job with flossing. (As much as I have tried to “walk the talk” and be a good example to our children, this is an area where I may have fallen a wee bit short.) My dentist knows my family and due to the fact that dentists mostly can only “talk at” you, I feel like I know his family and their adventures, too.
Which brings me to the sad part because today I am going to see a dentist I have never seen before. Our dentist has retired from this practice. While I understand that change is the only constant in life, it’s hard when the foundation people of your community start leaving and moving on. We have had to move our family for better job opportunities a couple of times over the years and I always enjoyed the excitement and novelty of exploring a new town. However, to make sure that the family feels secure and safe, there are some staple professional people you pick out when you first move and you make them “your own.” I remember being truly surprised when my eldest son got his “college shots” at the pediatrician and we were told that he would need to find an “adult doctor” now. What?!? Why?!? There is nothing disturbing about seeing a 6’2″ man with a beard waiting in the waiting room, watching Dora the Explorer with the other kids. Where are his Teddy Grahams for being a good boy?!? There have been a couple of occasions where three or maybe even four of our kids have even had the same teacher. My daughter recently told me that one of these teachers said that she was his favorite out of all of our family’s kids. I am pretty sure that he said that to all of our kids, but I kept that to myself.
Why is it that we accept that changes in our own lives are inevitable but feel angry and confused and bewildered when others go on with their changes in their lives? Why does it feel insulting when one of our long time neighbors move? Why do we understand that our kids are growing up but feel utterly bewildered when we get Christmas cards portraying previous members of our kids’ play groups in graduation robes and wedding gowns?? It’s like we want to explore and grow and learn, but we need everything else around us to remain the same, to be our “rocks of stability.” I think it’s like when my kids first started to crawl and to then walk and then to run. They always crawled, walked and ran back to me to make sure that I was still there, holding their security blankets to melt back into when they got tired.
I’m sure that the new dentist will be a nice, competent person and I sure that I will continue to be lectured on mouth guards and gum disease. I’m sure that we will all be okay and adjust accordingly. We’ll keep smiling. Life goes on, even though one of our “rocks of stability” has become a rolling stone.