Modern Day Doctor’s Visit

So, I went through a modern day scare yesterday. The backstory is this: Saturday morning I woke up with laryngitis and not even a bad case of it. My voice was just a little raspy. I had been swimming in our pool the night before and I had slept deeply, so I assumed the cocktail of chlorine activated lungs, mixed with some likely mouth-breathing during my deep sleep, helped to create my hoarse, gravelly sounding voice. I had plans to meet four of my dearest friends at a local park shelter (socially distanced, of course) on Saturday morning, so in a text prior to our planned meet-up, I mentioned my laryngitis, and I also mentioned that I had no other symptoms of sickness. No one seemed too concerned and we all had a wonderful visit, keeping our chairs a good distance apart from each other. The rest of Saturday, I felt fine. However, by Sunday, a cough had developed and by Sunday night, I was coughing up a storm, and I was very tired. On Monday, I knew that it was time to call a doctor.

I had my first telemedicine call of my lifetime, late yesterday morning. My doctor is always a bit late for my appointments, and she remained consistent in her ways, but this time, I could go about my business in my house, and I received a text when she was ready to meet with me. In the beginning of quarantine, in a whirlwind of hypochondria induced panic, I purchased a high-tech thermometer, an automated blood pressure cuff and an oximeter, so I was able to give her all of my readings. Everything was good. I could smell and taste anything and everything, and I know this, because I was checking out my scent and taste senses, every five minutes. I had a normal temperature, and my other readings were all normal, but my major symptom was this annoying, persistent dry cough and a tightness in my chest. Before COVID, I would have just written this off as a chest cold and not even a particularly bad chest cold, but in the throws of COVID, I was starting to think about my will, and if my will was updated. I started panicking about my family members, and my friends who I had just met with on Saturday, and an overwhelming feeling of responsibility and shame, washed over me. Did I really need to go shopping last week, just for the hell of it? Was it worth my health, and the health of my family and of my friends, to check out the Steinmart liquidation sale? Yes, I had worn a mask, but are masks really full-proof??? What’s the latest science on masks say today?! Why did the FEDEX delivery man not wear a mask, when he needed me to sign for a package, and more so, why didn’t I insist on him wearing a mask before I did sign for it?? What was even in that stupid package?!? Oh yeah, it was a ridiculously overpriced, pretentious perfume sample that smelled bad. Was anyone’s death worth me trying out a stinky perfume??? Why do I even need perfume right now? The only regular outings I really go to now, are cursory trips to the grocery store, and occasionally to places like Steinmart. Before COVID, it would never have even crossed my mind to go to the doctor with my minor, pedestrian symptoms. I would have felt silly and hysterical. But yesterday, I was inches short of an anxiety meltdown, on top of my annoying, persistent cough.

As expected, my doctor ordered up a COVID test for me. I think by her witnessing my wild eyes and sensing through the computer screen and our wi-fi connection, my high intensity worry over exposing my family and my friends (all middle-aged women with families of their own, including husbands with pre-existing conditions, and one gorgeous, little grandbaby), she felt it necessary to order a rapid test for me. I had to jam a mile long q-tip up my own nose, which caused my eyes to water incessantly, but that was a good release for the tears that had been building for hours in my eyes, as my wild imagination had already conjured up images of hospital rooms, and plastic tubes all over the place, and funerals, and sadness, and shame, shame, shame.

Fifteen minutes later, the results were texted to me. Negative for coronavirus. Thank you for answering my prayers, God. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. These are crazy times, indeed, bringing my own unique brand of crazy out, in all of its shining glory. Now, at least I can cough in peace.

Family Movie Night

I read something yesterday that struck me as very important. It was the question, “Is your soul begging for attention?” Our Soul’s siblings, Mind and Body are loud. They like a lot of attention and they know how to go about getting it. Our Soul sits quietly in the background, like a small, smoldering fire, that is just asking for some kindling and some stoking, to keep it alive and fiery and full of color and energy. Our Soul begs for attention through deep yearnings and leanings and our intuition. Our Soul is always trying to guide us to our life’s purposes, and to our strongest inborn talents and our most innate pleasures.

Early in March, when it became evident that the coronavirus was here to stay and that we would have to quarantine, we called the college boys home, we called our grown son, more than ever, and we called on all six of us, to make the best of a strange, scary situation. It was during these early days of the pandemic, that I heard my Soul begging for my attention. I needed to find a calming, group activity, that my entire family and I, could look forward to sharing together. With very limited options, I came up with “Family Movie Night”. Every Thursday night, one member of our immediate family would pick a movie for all of us to watch together (keeping the choice secret until the 8:00 pm start time) and then, we would discuss the film afterwards. Even my grown son, would watch the same movie, at the same time, and then Facetime with all of us afterwards. My family delighted me with their participation, their kindness, their enthusiasm, and their creativity. My daughter took things to a whole new level when she started decorating to the theme of her chosen movies, with coordinating snacks and goodies. I am the goofy, emotional, book/film nerd of my family and I think, at first, everyone went along with my idea because frankly, there wasn’t much else to do, and they love me and they like to please me. But as time went on, everyone seemed to look forward to “Family Movie Night”, more and more. We all got to see movies which we might have never chosen to watch, but ended up loving and appreciating; we got reacquainted with some really excellent old classics; and we got a lot of cuddle time on our large, semi-circle couch. My soul adored and relished in the attention.

Still, sometimes even really, really good things must come to an end. Everything has its season. With everything opening up more, and the college boys heading back to their campus lives, my daughter’s high school classes about to begin, and my husband’s and my eldest son’s work schedules getting back to a busier fall pace, the time has come for the Grand Finale of “Family Movie Night.” Tonight, I will host the last of nineteen Movie Nights, held in a row.

It’s a strange feeling to feel nostalgia and melancholy about something that hasn’t even ended yet. I knew that I would have to be the one to “officially” close out this chapter in our family’s history. No one else would have the heart to officially mark the end of “Family Movie Night”, but there would be individual excuses to bow out, and the tradition would fizzle and trinkle away, crowded out by penciled up calendars, and needed attention to other activities and obligations and priorities. I honestly didn’t want this tradition to go out, in the way of an aged-out athlete or an oblivious, elder business owner, who can’t move on, nor accept change, thus creating a whole lot of awkwardness and uncomfortable feelings, for everyone involved. I wanted everyone in my family to feel okay about the normal and natural progression of change in life. I didn’t want any guilt or discomfort to be part of what was otherwise. a wonderful memory and enjoyable experience for our family. That’s my job as a mom, right? Our job as mothers, is to nurture our babies so much, that they feel absolutely secure and confident about leaving our nests, and trailblazing their own paths in life. Our job is to make sure that they are paying attention to their Souls. And we do this by being wayshowers. When we pay attention to our own Soul’s yearnings, our children learn to do this for themselves.

I have the Grand Finale movie chosen for tonight. It is still a secret. I haven’t seen the film myself, so it might end up being a bomb, but my family gets a lot of laughs out of the “bombs”, too, so I’m not worried. It will be a good night. It will be a good ending to a great experience. It’s time to close this small chapter out, in the life of our family. I can’t wait to see what comes next for us. If I listen real closely, I know that my Soul will guide me to the next, right thing.

The Little Things

Joy and Pain – Authentic Teaching

I experienced a beautiful afternoon with all six members of my immediate family yesterday. We laughed at, and we repeated, once again, familiar jokes and memories, and we created new ones for the coffers. We relished in each other’s presence, sometimes quietly and comfortably, and at other times, loudly and boisterously. Our familiarity with each other’s quirks and our united love of the family island, which the six of us create, created a cozy, warm womb that kept all of the problems of the world at bay, at least for one, sunny, lovely summer afternoon.

If there is one gift that this coronavirus has given to any of us, is a renewed gratefulness for all that is precious to us. Nothing is taken for granted anymore. Every day, the OCD part of me, instinctively sticks my nose into a jar of a burnt down Diptyque Blissful Amber candle, to make sure I still have my sense of smell, thus in my simple mind, keeping the coronavirus at bay. And as I luxuriate in one of my most favorite scents, I am so utterly grateful for my sense of smell.

We all have a million examples of who we love and what we really enjoy, that is being highlighted and appreciated intensely, in our hearts, these days. Life feels more fragile than ever, and fragility always leads to preciousness. If an experience is suddenly seen as a rare gift, it is in our nature to soak in the experience, with a rapt attention, instead of just going through the motions, rather unconsciously. The coronavirus, when not taking life away, has actually added a vivid consciousness and a focused presence, to so many of our lives. It has given us the golden pen and the holy parchment, to start writing down the long count of our many blessings and memories which we long to keep, because we now know that the experiences and the memories, might be more fleeting than we ever understood before.

Taking Things For Granted - Support for Stepdads

Anti-Monday, It’s FRIDAY!

Corwin the COVID Antibody image 0

Hello friends!! Isn’t Friday energy wonderful!! Today I woke up in an easy-going, peaceful, calm, in the flow, everything-is-going-to-be-alright kind of a mood for no particular reason. Isn’t that wonderful when that happens? I find that this kind of personal synchronicity with Life, happens most often on Fridays, don’t you? New readers, Fridays are for favorites! I don’t delve into any life analysis/questioning/probing on Fridays. On Fridays, I list three favorite things, movies, websites, songs, products, foods, etc. and I strongly encourage you to add your favorites to my Comments section. Share the happy!! For even more favorites, please see previous Friday posts. Here are my favs for today:

Corwin the COVID Antibody – The picture above is Corwin the COVID Antibody from an Etsy store called Amy’s Organbank. I read about Amy in a news story, as she is a Broadway seamstress, who is relying more heavily than ever, on her side hustles, due to the loss of the Broadway season. She is not alone, in having to find other sources of income, particularly for those in the creative arena. Amy also makes coronavirus stuffies, which she recommends buying and then running them over with your car. I love the idea of really supporting our creatives, during all of this loss and frustration, in any way that we can. Aren’t we all clinging to the things (besides our families and our friends) that bring us joy, during this tough time? And isn’t it, so very often, the dramatic shows, and the books, and the artwork, and the songs that truly bring us joy, in our daily lives?

AP News app – Like most everyone else, I hate looking at the news these days and frankly, I don’t often know which news source to truly trust, if any of them. Back when I was a teenager taking a journalism class, from a tough talking former NYC newspaper reporter, it was all about “just the facts, ma’am”. Only the Letter to the Editor was allowed to venture into any kind of a personal opinion. Nowadays, that has changed. Dramatically. I don’t think anything I read or see in the news, is without some kind of a slant. I don’t think that the AP News is much better in this “facts only” arena, but I do think that they get the important breaking news out first, and they do have good, well-written, heartwarming pieces. I found Amy and her Corwin stuffies from an AP News story. In short, this app is worth the space on your phone, even if you are just skimming the headlines.

Resiliency Journal by Maria Gamb – My daughter and I decided to restore ourselves this week, by visiting one of our all-time happy places, Barnes and Noble. I’m a big believer in the idea that the right book will come into your hands just when you need it to, if you are open to the book “finding you.” I found this little gem (or should I say that it found me), as I was wandering around Barnes and Noble, breathing in all the wonder, calm, peace, serenity, wisdom and happiness that is just so singular to book stores and libraries. As many of you know, I keep a daily short, five minute journal that asks the same questions every day (a former Friday favorite) and this book augments that practice by just five more minutes each day, with really thought provoking, self exploration. This journal was just published in 2020, so it is inspired by weathering through all of the upheaval that we are experiencing right now, in this crazy world.

Have a great weekend, friends!!! Stay safe. Stay well. Enjoy your every living moment. Revel in the simplicity, yet also the complexity of it all, all at once.

Frenemy

I’m challenging myself to try new things, so I wrote a poem, using this writing prompt:

Writing Prompt
Write a 5-7-5 poem on any subject. The only rule is to follow the 5-7-5 syllable count (first line has five syllables, second line has seven, third line has five again).

Here is my 5-7-5 poem:

FRENEMY

I have a new friend.
She’s an unrelenting bitch.
Hypochondria.

Texting with my friends, it appears that Hypochondria’s friend circle has expanded quite a bit, lately. Why is she so tantalizing? Why do I spend so much time with Hypochondria? What really is the allure? She loves to create drama and fear. Hypochondria (let’s just call her Connie from here on out) loves to make something out of nothing, all of the time. She’s really in her prime right now. Connie has SO many followers, and her fan base keeps growing exponentially, every day, it seems. She’s always stirring the pot, and the media (mainstream and social) help her to do it. Every. Single. Day. The media is Connie’s flock of flying monkeys. The thing about Connie is that she tricks you into believing that worry is actually effective. Connie paralyzes a lot of other people, while in the meantime, she expends tons of her own energy, finding countless articles and websites and experts to make her worst case scenarios, seem utterly and entirely plausible, and on the brink of happening, all of the time. Connie sounds so awful and horrible and evil, when you take a step back, to see how she treats people, yet she’s really hard to let go, for so many of her intimate acquaintances. Why is that?

Others who have let go of Connie’s toxic hold over them, suggest these steps to get away from her:

  • Learning stress management and relaxation techniques
  • Avoiding online searches for the possible meanings behind your symptoms
  • Focusing on outside activities such as a hobby you enjoy or volunteer work you feel passionate about
  • Avoiding alcohol and recreational drugs, which can increase anxiety
  • Working to recognize that the physical signs you experience are not a symptom of something ominous, but are actually normal bodily sensations
  • Setting up a schedule for regular appointments with your primary care doctor to discuss your health concerns. Work with them to set a realistic limit on medical tests and specialist referrals. (The Center for Treatment for Anxiety and Mood Disorders)

In short, in order to get out of Connie’s evil clutches: breathe, take a walk, don’t go to her doctor – the infamous “Dr. Google”, find an all-encompassing interest or hobby, don’t go to a bar or brewery or break open a bottle of wine with Connie, remember that you know your own body better than anybody – certainly better than Connie knows it, and finally, go to a doctor who you can trust, a doctor who will help you to limit your exposure to Connie.

Connie is an emotional vampire. She zaps you of your strength and your practical reasoning skills. Connie does NOT deserve any of your time nor your energy. You need to protect yourself from Connie, during this difficult period in history. Do NOT succumb to her seduction. Connie will steal your time, and your peace and your sanity. She is the real enemy of your health (physical and mental) and of your immune system. It is time to say good-bye to Connie. Connie is toxic. She does not deserve any of our mind space nor attention. Connie’s a mean girl, and mean girls are not good friend material.

funny quotes about hypochondriac | hypochondriac. #medicalhumor ...

Weed Picker

This must be a very musically inclined day for birthdays. Apparently Don Henley and Selena Gomez share today, as a birthday. What a wonderful day!

My husband and I both have farming in our heritage and in our roots. My husband’s farming inclination comes out, mainly in how lovingly and earnestly he cares for our plants, even all of the ones that I buy on impulse because they are just “so pretty,” or “so cool” or “so weird.” (Ask me about my love affair with my Corpse Flower plant, sometime.) The other day my husband told me that he had planted pepper seeds, and he asked me to please be careful when weeding the back bed, as the peppers were planted back there. My husband had planted the pepper seeds in the way, way back bed, at the very end of our property, in our back yard. I looked at him and I started giggling.

“Are you seriously worried about me weeding?” I asked incredulously.

“Well, every once in a while, I look outside and then I look twice and I rub my eyes, and I go, oh wow, is she actually picking weeds?!” my husband replied.

It’s true. On very, very rare occasions, I feel the inclination to find some instant gratification and while taking the dogs outside, I might pick weeds for maybe seven minutes, tops. So in theory, my husband was right, while the odds aren’t great, it could happen. The warning was well thought out. The problem is though, when I weed, it is never a well-thought out endeavor. Weeding, for me, is more of an impulsive way to deal with my jitteriness or boredom or anxiety, when taking the dogs out. Weeding is never something that I actually plan to do, or even think about doing, while I am doing it. It kind of just happens, like poking at a scab or picking at a blemish. (Despite living with the coronavirus threat for several months now, I still touch my face WAY TOO MUCH.) Even when it is a subconscious impulse, me actually doing some weeding, is such a rare occurrence that I fully expect and plan on us, having some fresh, lovely, organic peppers for our salads, very soon. I do love my husband’s faith in my better inclinations, however. In these times of so much togetherness mixed with a great deal of unknowns and stress, it really is good to focus on the bright sides of our chosen partners in life. (even focusing on the bright sides that remain relatively dim, most of the time)

The Best Marriage Quotes of All Time

Grumpy Pants

So, I’m not in my happy place. I’ve got my grumpy pants on today. I’ve been described as very easy going, as long as things are going my way. Then, when things get a little rocky, “easy going”, for me, gets tossed right out the window. I’m grumpy because my blood results showed that my COVID antibody test was negative and my cholesterol is a little high. So, that just means that I am headed back to hyper-vigilance in not only my social distancing practices, but also in my dietary habits.

Speaking of pants, I read that workout clothes/active wear apparel sales are surging during this pandemic. Clothing companies everywhere are giving Lululemon a run for their money. That news just adds another patch of grouchiness, to my grumpy pants. I have a closet full of lovely clothes and fabulous shoes and gorgeous handbags and “eye-candy” accessories, that are not really stay-at-home conducive. I don’t own a whole lot of workout clothes. In fact, I own hardly any clothes that fit into that category. I feel dishonest wearing “active wear.” When you are wearing active wear, the assumption is that you are on the verge of working out. Active wear suggests that you just ran into the grocery store for some quinoa and plain almonds, before heading to your daily spin/tai chi/marathon training/fitness boot camp. I’m rarely on the verge of working out. In fact, I’m never on the verge of working out. I do walk daily. I walk daily for several miles and that’s it. Walking is the only exercise which I have consistently done my entire life, and I don’t require any specific uniform to do it. I have been known to walk in a dress and heels, for miles.

So, my little blood test results were my mid-summer’s wake-up call. No more relaxing for me. In fact, I might need to peruse the internet for some workout clothes. I might need to step into reality, that today’s social protocols and my current age range’s vulnerabilities, call for a different uniform that I’m used to wearing. If I want to stay clear of the coronavirus, I’ll need a healthy body with a pristine immune system, to ward it off. Maybe it would be nice to actually feel comfortable, while walking my dogs for miles in my neighborhood tonight. Who knows? But until I make any purchases, my rhinestone flip-flops will have to suffice as my walking shoes. They are a key part of the stubborn side of my persona, and they match my grumpy pants, perfectly!

In Search of Normal

I think that I had the mindset in the beginning of the shutdown, that we were just hitting the pause button, flattening the curve and then everything would quickly go back the way that it was before this whole coronavirus mess, sooner than later. That was my optimistic, hopeful, Pollyanna mindset, without any real logical thought and reasoning behind it. It was a neat and tidy view. “Let’s just clean up this lil’ mess, and get on with our lives. Sunshine fixes everything.”

When things started opening back up again, it was obvious that quite a few people had the same mindset as me, and many were even a lot more bullish than me, about our state of affairs. (I tend to err on the side of caution.) Eager to put things behind us, people, to varying degrees, started behaving as if the pandemic was nearly over. Unfortunately and currently, my beautiful home state of Florida is now considered to be anywhere from a hotspot, to an epicenter of the coronavirus, depending on who you talk to about it. Normal is nowhere in sight.

I think that this is one of the hardest things to get used to about the pandemic. You get that housebound, “I gotta get outta here” feeling, so you head out of your house, to clear your head, all in search of “normal.” But where is “normal”? Will I ever get used to seeing masked faces, especially on children? Will I ever stop feeling the need to shrink into myself (my posture has never been worse) any time I pass another person on the street or in a store? Will I ever be able to sit in an eating establishment again, without that queasy uneasiness, and feeling the need to rush through the experience and escape the confines? Why does everyone seem to have an extra “edge” to their personalities these days, that makes them less approachable and sometimes even downright scary – of course, though, why wouldn’t they? Why does every decision feel like a weighty, two-edged sword? Should my daughter go to her physical school, with the inherent health risks, or should she do subpar on-line studies again? Should we support our friends’ and our family’s celebrations in person, or should we stay safer at home and be there in spirit, at the risk of hurting feelings? Should my eldest son risk flying down to visit us, or should we just continue with the poor, but safe substitute of Facetime? How much of our shopping is just better done online? There are very few easy decisions these days, with even fewer clear answers. It makes my head hurt.

I leave my house, to escape home and the monotonous routine, but everything that I encounter on the outside is so unusual, so disturbing, such an “in-your-face” reminder of the mess that we are in, that I find myself clamoring to just rush back home and quickly shut the door on it all, behind me. Will I ever get used to our “new normal” to the point when a vaccine is found and things really do start going back to the way we knew them, that I might actually have to get used to my “old normal” in the way that I am feeling right now about today’s state of affairs? What a completely bizarre experience we are all going through!!

That being said, some things remain constant. Good food tastes wonderful. Laughter is the best medicine. Sleep is a lovely, peaceful, renewing experience. Nature seems impervious to it all, and remains a sanctuary for us to settle into and calm our nerves. We have each other to lean on, to love on, to gain perspectives from, and to rally our collective strength and courage. And of course and most importantly, our Maker has never left us and will lead us through it all, if we get quiet and humble enough to hear the directions we should take to bring us to a brighter tomorrow.

Synthesis

“If I die now, have I lived the life I wanted to?”

If an entire region can have an existential crisis, we’re having one. Spouses are being left, retirements pushed up, friends dropped. People are moving to rural spots and strengthening their faith, and those fortunate enough to have a choice are saying “no” to commuting. 

I took the above description from a teaser sent to me in my email, by the Boston Globe. I’m too cheap to get roped into yet another subscription, so I have not been able to read the rest of the article, but I did find the teaser very intriguing. What I find most interesting is that the article talks about an existential crisis and then lists all outside, material changes that people are making, in response to the internal crisis which they are feeling.

I think that the coronavirus has been very effective in helping all of us to reflect on what is truly important to us. My husband and I are no longer intrigued by experiencing living life in an urban setting. Rural settings have actually become even more appealing to us both, more than ever before. We have always sat in the middle of this city/country teeter-totter, always living in the suburbs, and we have come to truly appreciate our way of life. There is a healthy balance in the burbs. In another example, for years, our family has considered making boating part of our lifestyle, and so in lieu of a summer trip which we had planned on, we instead spent the money that we were going to spend on the vacation, on joining a boat club. This has really been a fabulous, new, exciting adventure for our family, so far. I use both of these examples (and I could find more examples) to validate the premise that situations outside of us, do have an effect on our happiness and life satisfaction levels, to a degree. Still, as Neil Gaiman said, “Wherever you go, you take yourself with you.”

I read a very interesting article that suggested that making major changes in your life, are healthy if they fall in line with your passions and your purpose. However, if you are making major changes in your life, in order to have a blank slate, or you are using the major change as a way to “escape” or to distract yourself from your current situation, these changes are bound to backfire on you.

The interesting thing about coronavirus is that it has collectively slowed down all of our every day lives to such an enormous degree, that never before, has there been a better time in life, for introspection and self exploration. But for many of us, that inside exploration is the scariest frontier that there is to investigate. We try to avoid that trip, at all costs. When all of our busy-ness, and places to be, and things to do, are whittled down to the bare minimum, we are left with me, myself and I, and for a lot us, that “me, myself and I” stuff is relatively scary, unknown territory. Perhaps we find introspection so terrifying, because we are our own worst critics and judges. Maybe our self-exploration could be best achieved, by first, taking off the proverbial robes of judges and priests, and then carefully and kindly, approaching our inner selves in the true spirit of curiosity, forgiveness and unconditional love.

The following is an excerpt from an article by Larry LeFebour, as he relates how moving across the country didn’t fix any of his existential, internal angst:

The things that were my triggers merely traveled with me across the country. Even after moving, I still watched others around me building their lives while I felt stuck, and I still felt that I was not enough in friendships and relationships. As a result, I worked extra hard to fill those voids but didn’t feel worthy of the attention they drew to me.

For a while, I was able to avoid this truth because I distracted myself with the newness of my surroundings. I don’t discount the experiences that I had in my new home, but it’s clear to me now that my triggers would eventually resurface until I understood them better.

I now know that the better I understand, accept, and forgive myself, and stay curious, the more I can enjoy being wherever I am. Travel represents many things for me now: enjoyment, relaxation, learning, connections, and new experiences. But it is no longer the escape I once believed I needed to fix the challenges I was encountering. The better I know myself and the more authentic I am, the more I can enjoy being wherever I may roam.”

Let’s take an adventure inward, today, friends. Monday is a good day to do this. It is a free and fascinating experience. Carve out some time for this exploit of going into seldom seen territory. Just be sure to allow yourself to just experience the experience of inner exploration, with an open heart and an open mind, just like you would do when visiting or exploring a new town, or a new church or an amusement ride you have never ridden. Enjoy the anticipation and the wonder! Be patient and loving and inquisitive without judgment, like you would be with a child. I am willing to bet that our own inner explorations, which we allow ourselves to have, even while the outside world is seemingly falling apart, will leave the most lasting, life changing impressions on us, after all of this turmoil passes by. If we do this self exploration thing right, and really get to know our authentic inner selves, we will be much better equipped to handle anything that the outside, material world brings our way, now and in the future. With our newly deepened inner knowledge and wisdom, it is inevitable that our individual lives will become richer and more stimulating and more fascinating and more satiating, than ever before. With pure inner knowledge, the choices that we make for our sensual lives, and our material worlds, will be made on the basis of passion and purpose and intuition, and thus, our whole lives (inner and outer in harmony) will be more fulfilling than we could have ever imagined.

Independence Day

Happy 4th of July, friends! I hope that you have a safe and happy day!!!

Today, when I was reading about July 4th, I was struck by how many times the words “independent” and “independence” came up. After all, it is 244 years ago that our forefathers claimed today as “Independence Day” for our country. This prompted me to look up the definition of “independent.” This is the first definition that popped up on Google:

“Being independent means being able to take care of your own needs and to make and assume responsibility for your decisions while considering both the people around you and your environment.”

I like this definition of independence. Sometimes I think that we want our independence, but without personal responsibility. Sometimes I think that we want our independence, forgetting to be considerate to the fact, that our actions do affect others and our Earth. Sometimes I think we confuse selfishness with independence. They are too entirely different things. Independence is a virtue. Selfishness is not. Today we celebrate the independence of our great country. Today marks the day that the United States of America declared its ability to take care of its own needs, and to assume responsibility for the decisions of our country, with consideration for other people, other countries, and our Earth. In some ways, the United States has done an excellent job with our independence. In other ways, we have some work to do.

Our countries, our states, our institutions, our communities, our families, are all made up of people. Today, when we consider our own individual independence, we can consider how well we are living up to that honorable definition of independence, in our own individual lives. As we celebrate our “independence”, we can use the celebration as a time to reflect on how “independent” (in the virtuous sense of the word), we really are, in our own lives. Do we rely on others for our physical needs and emotional needs, without taking any personal responsibility for those needs? Are we healthfully interdependent with others, or are we woefully stuck in a codependent cycle with those we love? Do we make our own decisions, and do we take responsibility for the consequences of those decisions, or are we quick to blame others, and to take the victim stance, when things go wrong? Do we make decisions for ourselves with the mindfulness of how those decisions will affect ourselves, others, and our beautiful planet, or do we just act on impulse and let the pieces fall as they may?

We declared quite a responsibility, as a country, those 244 years ago. I think that the founders of our country, understood the weight of that responsibility, but firmly believed that we were better off with our freedom. Our founders believed that we were up to the challenge of co-creating the greatest country that has ever existed. Our forefathers made the decision to declare independence for the United States, thoughtfully, carefully, and with a full understanding of what the consequences of declaring our independence would bring for us, then and for the ongoing future.

We tend to celebrate July 4th with fireworks, and barbecues, and parades and parties, without really giving much thought to what the day really means to us. Perhaps this virus catastrophe, can be used in a good way, to give us more space and more down time to really reflect on how well we are living up to our own “declarations of independence”, in our own lives, and as citizens who make up our country. Claiming independence is commanding, freeing, exciting, exhilarating, creative and allows us to fulfill our fullest purposes and destinies. But claiming independence goes hand in hand with enormous responsibilities, vision, sacrifice, empathy and consideration for others, and the need to protect the boundaries of our own autonomy and independence. Claiming independence is a brave and heady endeavor and it must often be reclaimed and revisited, again and again. We can thank our forebears for the start of it all, but it is our responsibility to keep the good vision of it all, alive and well and prospering.

136 Quotes About Change In Your Life and In The World (2019)