I’ve touched on this topic earlier this month in the blog, in a post entitled “Unstuck”, but I think the theme bears repeating. We need to have more fun. We need to allow ourselves to have fun, even before everything gets “done.” Because everything that needs to get “done” will never, ever be completely finished. I once read that we are all going to die with our inboxes full. Facts.
Last night, I was out to eat with some of my dearest friends (first time in long, long while) and we were all discussing this matter of allowing ourselves to have more lightness, and joy, and fun. Instead of resenting others for having their own fun, we have to take over the reins and make sure that we are putting enough leisure and relaxation into our own schedules. Unfortunately, around the time of this particular discussion, the evening got cut short, as one of my friends got an intense, scary and sudden case of indigestion. This put us all into a frantic tizzy. Fully realizing that we aren’t anywhere near our twenties anymore, we didn’t do the old, “roll her over on her side, kiss her on the cheek, tell her that she’ll be fine, and head back out for a nightcap” routine. Instead, we all camped out at her house, stared at her frantically, questioning her about her symptoms every six seconds, reassuring each other that we didn’t need to head to the ER, because at our ages, indigestion can sometimes mimic heart issues. (I am sure that my friend was more than ready for us to leave her alone, when we all finally felt reassured that she was fine, and bid her adieu for the evening. Thankfully, my friend feels much better this morning, kindly answering all of our frantic, thinly veiled “good morning” texts.)
It struck me that this incident actually put an exclamation point on our discussion which we had been having about allowing ourselves to have more fun. Lately, my aging has come into much more acute focus for me. I turned fifty in December. In these last few years, I have witnessed some of my more elderly relatives and friends, suffer some very serious health issues. If I am lucky, and I take good care of myself, I may have about 30-40 more years to really experience the free, exciting fullness of life. I don’t have any time to waste. Do I really want 90-95% of that time left in my life to be spent making sure all of the solemn chores, duties, and responsibilities are “done”? Does perhaps merrymaking and entertainment deserve a little bit more than a mere 5-10 percent of my daily life?
My friend, the one who is thankfully feeling better this morning, texted that the author, Glennon Doyle, was on Good Morning America today, promoting her podcasts. She said that her next podcast will be on the topic of “Fun.” Glennon Doyle said that so many of us are juggling so many different roles in our lives, trying to keep the machine of our lives fully functioning, that we are forgetting to add the element of “fun and enjoyment” to the equation, which really is what keeps the machine of our lives, all greased up.
Earlier this morning I was reading an article about “cave syndrome”, which is the name given to the new phenomenon of people being afraid to re-enter society and normalcy, after what we have gone through this past year with the pandemic, despite being fully vaccinated and well. “Cave Syndrome” seems to be a subset of agoraphobia, not based on rational thinking, but instead, it is a form of being stuck in our fears and our past trauma. And a fair amount of people seem to be suffering from it. Yikes. Cave Syndrome does not bode well for free-wheeling fun.
I read a quote this morning by Larry Eisenberg that says this: “For peace of mind, we need to resign as general manager of the Universe.” I think a lot of us need this reminder, especially us women. A lot of us have the tendency to take on a lot of other people’s worries, duties, responsibilities, feelings, etc. to the detriment of ourselves, and to the detriment of others, and to the detriment of our relationships with ourselves and with others. We aren’t the general manager of the Universe. Some Being who is much more powerful and omniscient than us, has faithfully got the wheel. And that Some Being really enjoys experiencing, and seeing us at frolic and play, the most, out of all of everything that we do.
Are you passing on love or are you passing on pain? Heal your pain and pass on love.