Months ago, I tripped on the sidewalk and my cell phone went flying through the air, and landed hard, real hard, on the pavement. When I picked it up, I was relieved to see that the screen was fine. I have a good case on my phone. Sadly though, when I turned the phone around, I noticed that the back of it had the “crackle” look. The back of the phone had been shattered.
Still, I was delighted to notice that my phone still worked, despite its new shattered look, and I figured that as long as it stayed in the case, my cell phone would be fine. No harm, no foul. Now, the truth is, we carry insurance on our cell phones, and for a nominal fee, I could have my cell phone replaced. But, honestly, I dreaded the experience of having a new phone sent out, having to figure out how to transfer everything, and I lived in fear of losing everything on my phone, despite backing it up regularly. So, I deluded myself that I was just taking a long time to consider whether I should just upgrade to a newer version of my phone or to get the insurance replacement, and then, I essentially just put it out of my mind.
Lately however, when I have been talking on the phone, I noticed that people were going in and out, and I was missing every 10th word or so. Usually, I blamed this on the other party. “You’re in a bad spot. You’re mumbling. Your bluetooth isn’t working,” I would grumble to others when I was talking to them. Sometimes, I would blame myself . . . .for being in a dead spot or having clogged ears. Finally (this took a long while, as I’m a stubborn old coot), I came to terms that I was the common denominator in this situation. It was my phone that was not working correctly. So, even with that realization, I still waited for several weeks more, telling myself that the old “turn off/on” trick would probably work. It didn’t. Many times that trick did not work.
So yesterday, I finally filed an easy, quick claim, and my insurance company sent someone out, on the very same day to bring me a new phone and to set it up, free of charge. Voila! It was that simple. And I still have all of my data, pictures, contacts, texts, etc. on my new phone.
This made me reflect on a good little lesson about life. If we have an ongoing problem in our lives with other people, institutions, etc., it is often helpful to open ourselves up to some real truthful self-awareness. If we feel that we are the poor victims in every single situation in our lives, guess what? That all gets whittled down to one common denominator – us, the poor, lowly victims. Can you imagine?!? In every single situation in our lives, we innocents feel totally wronged and victimized. In my cell phone situation, it was my belief that everyone else’s phone wasn’t working correctly, until I faced that I was the common denominator in this situation. It was my phone that wasn’t working. When I finally accepted that this situation was actually my problem, I had the insight and the power and the ability and the mojo, to finally do something about it.
Look for patterns of the gripes and problems in your own life. There are areas in our lives where we all have valid gripes. There are areas in our lives where our hands our totally tied. But they aren’t as many as we think. If you find yourself, having the same gripes and the same problems with many different sources, be honest with yourself – you are the common denominator. And once you do this, you have empowered yourself. You are no longer a victim. You can work on changes needed, in order to change the detrimental situations that you find yourself in regularly.
This is not a lesson is shame. Shame is what keeps us from telling the truth to ourselves. Shame is painful. To get beyond pain, we need to be compassionate with ourselves, as we open up to the truth about things. When we forgive ourselves for the parts which we play in our own problems, we then move on to the healthy path of direction, improvement and empowerment. We all make mistakes. We all get caught up in negative patterns. (some of these patterns have started as early as childhood) But we all, also, have the gift of reason and insight, to help us to get on to better paths.
Get detached from your ego, and look at patterns in your own life that you wish to change. Get real with yourself about the part that you play in these patterns, and try something new. This is how positive change happens in our lives. This exercise is what opens our lives to new possibilities and ways of feeling. And empowerment feels a hell of a lot better than embitterment and hopelessness.
Are you passing on love or are you passing on pain? Heal your pain and pass on love.
Here is the question of the day from 3000 Questions About Me:
2004. What makes you stand out in a crowd?