It is Your Turn

I’ve been cleaning out cupboards and closets lately, and when doing this yesterday, I came across three stuffed folders of writings/pictures/philosophies, etc. that had inspired me throughout the years enough to want to print them, and to keep them, and to even stuff them into moving boxes to take to our next homes. (I have plenty of those folders all around my house. This was just from one shelf, from one cupboard.) In it, I found a list of all of the children, and their birthdates, and their middle names, born to nine of us women who have remained good friends since college. (Interestingly we have had 24 children amongst us: 12 boys and 12 girls. Nature knows what it is doing.) What was really cool is that when I came across this list, I realized that the youngest baby born to our friend group was having her ninth birthday yesterday!

Another thing that moved me (once again) was from a eulogy of a friend of a friend’s father. This man grew up in a working class family from my hometown, Pittsburgh, PA, and he ended up being a very successful dentist, builder and developer, after he had successfully served in the Marine Corps during VietNam. He raised five children with the love of his life, and together they had seventeen grandchildren. He died in 2008. The eulogy mostly consists from what is written at the top of the eulogy: “Our gift to you from the family is a list of sayings, thoughts, that our father expressed to others and advice from his personal letters. They may not all be original, but they do represent how he lived his life.”

Readers, there are quite a few of these sayings and thoughts and philosophies that the family attributed to this wonderful man. I am just going to list a few:

Tell your family and your friends that you love them . . . every day.

If it’s going to be, it’s up to me!

Always, always, always treat everyone with respect.

If a poor kid from Pittsburgh with average intelligence could do it, then anyone can.

Do small things for others – leave notes, compliment them, smile, you will make their day.

The glass is half full.

Lead by example. You don’t always have to tell someone. They will see.

Only ask of others what you are willing to do. Be humble and sweep the floor and take out the trash.

We are the stuff of stars.

See God in nature – everywhere.

Never forget that freedom comes from responsibility and discipline.

You must constantly thank others.

Life is but a series of learning experiences.

We adults miss so much. We become wrapped up in success and worldly things.

Tell others how proud you are of them. Do it often and tell them specifically.

Be patient. Things may be difficult now, but there will come a time when these will be your most happy moments.

Always be questioning everything. Have a hunger and thirst for knowledge.

A man’s life expands and contracts in direct relation with his courage.

If I listed everything that this man did and accomplished in his life, your head would spin. He died at the age of 68. Here is the last of his words printed on the eulogy:

I am the bow and you are the arrow. I have pulled the string tight and true. Soon I will release the tension and you will enter the universe of life. It is your turn.

Are you passing on love or are you passing on pain? Heal your pain and pass on love.

No Word For That

I’m having a hard time getting into my groove after the holiday weekend. I feel a little frazzled and distracted and out of focus. I think that this is a common feeling for people, after getting off of their regular routines for some time, like after vacations or holidays, although I don’t have the right word for it. I wish that I did. Any ideas?

Another sensation that has been happening for me a lot lately is that feeling of being hungry, but then nothing appeals to me, to eat. I’m starving, but I stare at the cupboard or inside of the refrigerator, or even start to consider somewhere to get take-out, and none of it interests me. I literally looked up “the word” to describe this occurrence and no word really exists for this happening, in the English language. There should be a word for this feeling. I know that it is a relatively common sensation. I have felt it many times. Again, any ideas? Perhaps it is a form of ennui, or maybe it is a function of coming off a major binge of sugar, from birthday cake to Easter candy to ice cream, with a variety of Easter candy sprinkled on top of the ice cream. I don’t really know. Don’t worry, I still eat. Too much. But nothing seems to satisfy. There is a difference between satisfying physical hunger and satisfying a longing for edible enchantment. Taste is different than satiation, although we often lump it all together. Being fed through a tube will keep your nutrients up, but it will not satisfy your senses. That is why eating an incredibly delightful, delicious meal, when you are famished is such an enthralling, titillating epicurean experience.

Here’s another example of something which we need a word for in our language: We need a word for events in our lives that we NEVER tire of experiencing. My friend who has lived in Florida longer than I have, and who lives closer to the water than I do, group texted this morning that she saw dolphins playing. She said that people who were visiting our neck of the woods, were all clapping. All of us friends agreed that seeing dolphins is something that never loses its magic, even though when living in coastal Florida, it’s a relatively common experience. What is the word for phenomena in our lives, that no matter how many times the events happen, they never lose their luster and enchantment? What are some other examples of these wonderful experiences? Kissing a baby’s head. Watching puppies frolic around. Waking up to the first snow. Sunrises. Sunsets. Jumping in a pool on scorching hot day. The list goes on and on . . .

I know that you are a creative bunch. Let’s come up with words for these feelings and happenings in our lives, that are shared enough that they deserve words. These things have earned words to describe them!!! Let me know your thoughts in my Comments section. Also, staying with this line of thought, what is the word for an event or a sensation that deserves a word, but doesn’t have a universal word to describe it??? Unappreciated, for sure.

Are you passing on love, or are you passing on pain? Heal your pain and pass on love.