Tag: authenticity

Safe or Alive

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“Be the same person privately, publically, and personally.” – Wise Words (Twitter)

From an interview with Ryan Seacrest, Selena Gomez discusses her new album which was written at a time when she was processing a painful break-up and health issues in her personal life:

“It’s all very real to me and I’m sure it’s just entertainment for other people; but I think I had become numb to it and it would be stupid of me if I didn’t acknowledge what I had felt because it would be inauthentic and that’s everything I claim to be and do. … I know there are thousands of people … who have felt this feeling and it’s extremely real, and on top of the social media and everything, it doesn’t matter if you’re in my position or someone else’s because you’re always going to somehow find this negative space and that’s why I have to be careful and I just have to take steps back and just focus on what I’m doing and nobody else.”

In art, in entertainment, in books, and in life, people respond most to those who can bravely bare their souls. We all resonate with those who are most authentic, most present, and yet sadly, it is such a fearsome thing to do – to put our own raw, real, vulnerable selves out there. It’s one of life’s greatest ironies, I think.

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Warning: Faulty Filter

“I don’t like to think before I speak. I like to be just as surprised as everyone else about what comes out of my mouth.” – Rebel Circus

Apparently, as we age, a lot of us lose our filters. That doesn’t bode well for me, as I have never had a great filter to begin with. Judging by the amount of times I get the wide-eyed, aghast, exclamation “MOM!”, coming from my teenage kids, my filter could use some fine-tuning.

“There’s a fine line between having ‘no filter’ and ‘just being an asshole’.” -viralrang.com

I find the whole “filter thing” difficult to navigate. The older that I get, the less tolerance I have for “fake.” I value truth and authenticity in my relationships to the highest order. I like people who “say it like it is”, because even if I don’t agree with them, they are trustworthy. I know where they stand. There is no wishy-washy, behind the scenes fakery. Still, people’s feelings must be taken into account. I guess it all comes down to doing what we were taught as children: Think before you speak. If you don’t have anything nice to say, don’t say anything at all. Be kind. And if all else fails, just rationalize:

“I’m not rude. I just speak what everyone else hasn’t the balls to say.” – She Was Born With No Filter, Pinterest