Tag: attention

Intentional Summer

We’ve unofficially entered through the glorious gateway to another summer of our lives. I know that summer technically starts later in June, but from a calendar/nostalgia sense, we walked through the gates, into another delicious summer this past weekend. Summer is a time of experience, isn’t it? We often plan trips and reunions and outings and adventures in summer. We do yard projects and picnics and beach days.

I read something this morning written by Esther Hicks that suggested that before you give something your attention, make sure that you actually want to experience that person, place or thing which is the focus of your attention. You don’t have to give your attention to everything that is going on, all around you. In fact, you couldn’t give your attention to everything that exists, even if you tried. You can read or watch the news, but you don’t have to do it. You can get as involved or not involved with someone else’s drama, as much as you choose to do so. You don’t have to attend everything you have been invited to attend. You can ruminate on situations that happened in the past, or you can worry about situations that might happen in the future, but none of this is necessary. Remember, whatever you give your attention to, becomes part of your overall experience. There is so much out there in the world that we can spend our attention on (available at the click of a button), that we might as well become really, really choosy about where we spend our attention. Why not spend our attention on things that we truly enjoy and value experiencing? Why not spend our attention on things that truly enhance our own experience of living a life? Why not take these initial steps out of the gateway, into summer, with the idea that this will be The Most Present and Intentional Summer of Our Lives?

Vow to only spend your attention on things that you actually want to be part of your overall life’s experience. Be choosy. There are summer berries galore in the garden. Strawberries will still exist for others, if you choose to only eat blueberries. Strawberries will most likely be available to you, if you later choose to focus on eating them. Choose carefully. Choose wisely. Your attention is the most precious gift that you give to anyone or anything, including yourself. Give this gift mindfully this summer, and you will most likely experience the most gratifying and resonating summer of your life.

“And so with the sunshine and the great bursts of leaves growing on the trees, just as things grow in fast movies, I had that familiar conviction that life was beginning over again with the summer. There is an almost religious ‘rebirth’ that comes with the end of winter.” – from The Great Gatsby by F. Scott Fitzgerald

Are you passing on love or are you passing on pain? Heal your pain and pass on love.

Here is the question of the day from 3000 Questions About Me:

659. What are you really intense about?

Stand Back or Get Close

“Being impressive makes people stand back to take you in.  Being vulnerable brings people closer to take you in.” – Holiday Mathis

I read the above quote recently.  I thought how true a statement it really is, in many ways.  We work so hard to impress people sometimes, but that really does keep other people at a distance, at arm’s length.  If we want to keep everyone at an admiring distance, we can try to stay impressive.  But if we want to experience real closeness, we have to be brave enough to be vulnerable and show our cracks.  As Leonard Cohen said, “There is a crack in everything, that’s how the light gets in.”

I read once that some of the most dangerous “drugs” to get addicted to are:  approval, appreciation and attention.  When we are dependent on these things, we are not being ourselves. We are being what we think we have to be, in order to get others to like us.  Living to impress others, living to get others’ approval, appreciation and attention, never allows us to truly get up-close and personal with people.  It keeps us in a state of loneliness, even if we are receiving applause.

When it comes to friends, I always tell my children that it is better to have four quarters than 100 pennies.  To have a few people in your life, who know you truly and love you deeply, cracks and all, is one of the greatest blessings in life.  When you hold yourself back in a state of always trying to impress others, you miss out on true intimacy and the beautiful, real reflection of yourself from the eyes of someone who truly knows the core of you and loves you for it.

“To see the world, things dangerous to come to, to see behind walls, draw closer, to find each other and to feel.  That is the purpose of life.” – The Secret Life of Walter Mitty