Happy Birthday to Beethoven and to me! Beethoven is 248 and I am 48. I’ve actually reached the age that when someone asks me how old I am I have to roll my eyes up into my head, think, do some math and finally come out with the right answer. When I was a kid, I used to think that was a lot of bunk when adults did that, but I now realize that forgetting your age, really does happen. You reach middle age and you know that you are in a certain age range, but the actual number never sticks with you. I’m not sure it that is a sign of early dementia or subconscious rebellion/denial, but I now know that whatever causes it, it’s a real thing. However, for today, I know that I am 48.
I guess being 48 means that I really am approaching age 50, in a very serious way. Honestly, I really don’t mind. My body is definitely slowing down, and that gets frustrating. I wore some pretty high heels to the Christmas party last night and I feel like I ran a marathon in record speed this morning, my body aches so much. Still, from a mental, emotional, and life stage point of view, I am very optimistic about my fifties. I feel like I know myself better than I have ever known myself. I think I approach life with more curiosity, appreciation and acceptance than I ever have before. I no longer try to conquer and control Life. I’m better at letting Life flow.
When I was on the brink of my forties, my whole life changed in many, major ways. Let’s just say that my husband and I were the Poster Kids for the Recession. Our life as we knew it, completely and irrevocably disappeared and we ended up having to move our large family to a whole new city and state, to begin again. And, guess what? It’s a cliche to say it, but it turned out to be the best thing that ever happened to our family, on so many fronts. I strongly believe that God/the Universe knows what it’s doing. My faith lies in that.
Years ago, I read a very fun, upbeat book in which the author insisted that everything that happens to you, is meant to guide you to joy. Now, I get that statement can be a tough pill to swallow, especially when you are going through one of those really rough “Why me?” times in life, but if you really look for it, there is a glimmer of goodness and transformation in every single experience. I believe that with every fiber of my body.
I once again want to thank you for reading my blog, commenting on my blog, bolstering me and rooting for me. You, my readers, have been a wonderful gift in my life this year. Happy Birthday to me! It’s going to be a great year and a great upcoming decade for all of us!!