Tuesday’s Tidbits

+ I read a really good analogy to use when you want your communication to be effective and collaborative and helpful. Do not play ping-pong when you communicate. Play catch. Ping-pong communication is a fast, reactive back and forth, with someone always wanting to cleverly “win the point”. Whereas, catch is a relaxing, cooperative, slower game, where each player is taking their time with throwing out, and then taking in the messages being sent. When you are playing ping-pong, you are feeling highly competitive, whereas when you play catch, you are both playing to win, by seeing how many times that together you can keep the streak of properly throwing (sending) and catching (receiving) the ball (the message).

+ Not too long ago, I found out that I have a high percentage of Welsh in my DNA. Yesterday I saw this on the internet: “The Welsh phrase ‘dod yn ol at fy nghoed’ means ‘to return to a balanced state of mind’ but its literal meaning is ‘to return to my trees.’ “ I love this. This speaks to me deeply. It never hurts to return to our trees, does it? Nature soothes. Nature heals.

“I feel a great regard for trees; they represent age and beauty and the miracles of life and growth.” – Louise Dickinson Rich

“Trees exhale for us so that we can inhale them to stay alive. Can we ever forget that? Let us love trees with every breath we take until we perish.” – Munia Khan

“The one who plants trees knowing that he or she will never sit in their shade, has at least started to understand the meaning of life.” -Rabindranath Tagore

“I firmly believe that nature brings solace in all troubles.” – Anne Frank

“The trees encountered on a country stroll

Reveal a lot about that country’s soul…

A culture is no better than its woods.” – W. H. Auden

Are you passing on love or are you passing on pain? Heal your pain and pass on love.

Here is the question of the day from 3000 Questions About Me:

2599. If you could sing a duet with anyone, who would it be?

Monday – Funday

If you want to make people exceedingly intrigued by you, and perhaps even envious of you (although this is not advised – when people are at their most envious, they are often at their worst) you don’t need millions of dollars, a perfect body, a beautiful face, a loving relationship, amazing kids, and a fancy car. You just need to be “happy.” Choose to be happy every single day. You will absolutely glow. Unfortunately, happiness is something that is available to all of us, but we make it so hard. There are people I have known who had all of the things listed above, and they were some of the most miserable people I have ever known. Happiness truly is an inside job. A happy optimist isn’t in denial. The happy optimists recognize that there is a lot that needs to be different in the world. So they choose to work at changing these things, or they choose to accept these things. And then the happy, optimist goes on to savor the myriad of things that are completely wonderful in this world. Don’t make happiness elusive. Don’t make happiness contingent on what you have or what you don’t have. Don’t compare others’ happiness to your own. Like love, happiness just is . . . . And happiness really is available to all of us. Happiness is a peaceful contentedness that is still there in the background, when sad feelings arise. It is the peaceful contentedness that is still there, even when fear is at its height. Happiness is living life in gratitude and appreciating the stories about the experiences of the moments. Why have we chosen to make happiness such a rarity? Is it smarter to sound sad, angry and bitter? Does it really matter how “smart” anyone is? Be happy. Today, choose happy at all costs. You’ll be amazed that you had the power to be happy within you, all along. And you’ll also be amazed at how magnetizing a power that true happiness can be.

“Whoever is happy, will make others happy.” – Anne Frank

Are you passing on love or are you passing on pain? Heal your pain and pass on love.

Here is the question of the day from 3000 Questions About Me:

1629. How are you still similar to your younger self?

Formula For Peace

“Expecting to be happy all the time is a root cause of much unhappiness.” – Dr. Nicole LePera

Expectations will always getcha, right? A wise person once told me to “never ‘should’ on yourself.” I think that this tweet by Dr. LePera is particularly apropos during the holidays. There is such an expectation to be “merry and bright” all of the time, and so, if you aren’t feeling this way, it makes you feel even more down and inadequate. Or sometimes you feel like it is your responsibility to make your loved ones’ holiday happiness come true, and this is not even possible. We can add to people’s happiness with kindness, but everyone’s own feelings are their own unique responsibility and capability.

If you take a moment to really become self-aware, you’ll notice that your feelings are often quite fleeting. If you stop right now, and think to yourself, “What am I feeling?” even if you think that the answer is “feeling nothing” or “feeling blank” or “feeling peaceful”, notice this. This “absence of feeling” is a feeling, too. What does “feeling nothing” feel like in your body? Does anything hurt? What is your breathing like? Now think a thought of something that makes you angry. Where does the feeling of anger creep up in your body? What are the bodily sensations of anger? Now think of something that makes you feel sad. Notice these sensations. Now realize how many different feelings and emotions, and the sensations that come with these feelings, have happened to you, in your body, in probably less than a minute. Don’t be stingy with yourself. Think of people, or things, or events, that make you feel happy, or filled with excited anticipation, and notice the sensations that come with these thoughts, too.

Feelings cycle throughout our being, all day long. Certain feelings can seem more passionate or dominant or stubbornly set, depending on the day, and our perceptions of what happened during the day, but if we get really curious about ourselves, we will notice the constant subtle shifting of our feelings throughout the day. Sometimes feelings occur because we are hungry, or physically ill or hurt, and we then use our minds to start making up stories about these physical sensations, in order to justify them, which only adds to the storm of emotion. If we just take a little time to notice and to accept our feelings as they come, we will see how easily they pass on through.

Just for today, be in detached acceptance of yourself and however you feel. Check in with yourself on the hour, and see if you can name and describe what feelings you are experiencing at that time of the day. Describe to yourself what the feeling’s sensations are in your body. Notice if any thoughts or states of being (hungry, sick, tired etc.) are adding some intensity to your emotional state. Just for today, be okay and content with yourself, in whatever emotional state you are in, and extend this courtesy to the other people whom you encounter throughout the day. Be an unpressured, detached observer. Don’t try to change yourself, and don’t try to change anyone else. Drop all of your expectations. Interestingly, by doing this, you may very well start experiencing the feelings of a deep, lasting, calming peace. Peace and contentment are some of the most comfortable feelings in the world to experience. By cutting yourself a break, and also letting go of trying to control others and their feelings, you may give yourself the gift of feeling “peace and contentment” more than you have felt these feelings in a long time. And isn’t “peace” what we universally wish for everyone whom we know and love, no matter what their outside circumstances may be? I know that we’ve gotten quite a few holiday cards offering us wishes of peace. Peace seems to be a universal desire for everyone. The answer to our own peace lies inside each one of us, and it is always available for the taking, ironically by just letting go.

“Your emotions are the slaves to your thoughts, and you are the slave to your emotions.” – Elizabeth Gilbert

“Feelings are something you have; not something you are.” – Shannon L. Alder

“But feelings can’t be ignored, no matter how unjust or ungrateful they seem.” – Anne Frank

“Emotion can be the enemy, if you give into your emotion, you lose yourself. You must be at one with your emotions, because the body always follows the mind.” – Bruce Lee

Are you passing on love or are you passing on pain? Heal your pain and pass on love.

Welcome, 2019!!

Happy New Year! Happy 2019! Rabbit! Rabbit! Rabbit!

Today, my family and I will eat my favorite meal of the year. The lucky New Year’s Day meal is my all-time favorite, even more than Thanksgiving. Pork, sauerkraut, brats and kielbassi, collards, potatoes and black-eyed peas, make up this yearly tradition. Cooked all together all day long, with the savory flavors blending together, all with the promise of excellent luck in the upcoming year.

This is a tradition my family has had for years and generations and judging by the fact that my grocery store has all of these ingredients readily available at the front of the store, something tells me that we’re not alone. There is going to be a lot of good luck, excitement and hope, wafting around the houses of the world today. Fresh new starts abound!

“What A Wonderful Thought It Is That Some Of The Best Days Of Our Lives Haven’t Even Happened Yet” – Anne Frank

“What The New Year Brings To You Will Depend A Good Deal On What You Bring To The New Year” – Vern McLellan