Tears

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I was discussing sadness with some of my friends the other day. We talked about how when you hold emotions in, there is always going to be huge pressure building that is bound to end with a negative outcome. When you hold in anger, inevitably an explosion occurs when it can’t be held in any longer, and often innocent bystanders get attacked by that force of emotion. When you hold in fear and anxiety, the results can end up in things like panic attacks and nervous breakdowns. Stress is one of the biggest causes of disease and discomfort in our bodies. And when you hold in sadness, the dam that is holding back all of the tears, will eventually buckle under all of the pressure, but in the meantime the building up of the sadness inside of a person, becomes all encompassing, like a vast, quickly rising, swirling body of water, making it hard to breathe and giving the sensation of drowning. However, if you use God’s natural release valve, and you cry some tears, there is less pressure on the inside, because the tears let the sadness flow out, and eventually the rivers and the streams of tears of sadness, dry to just a trickle.

Whatever we are feeling (and 2020 has certainly been a harvest year for feelings), let’s find healthy, positive ways to release these feelings. When we hold in any one emotion, that emotion has a tendency to take up the whole of us, and doesn’t allow room and space, for the variety of emotions (and a lot of enjoyable emotions) which we are meant to process and to experience, every single day. When we feel the ease of a peaceful conscious, we have open gates and open dams which allows all of the different feelings and sensations that we experience on a daily basis, to freely come and just as freely, to go. When we can accept our feelings as just part of being human, we don’t have to hide them and store them and let them build up inside of us. We can just quietly notice our natural feelings, allow our feelings to be, and process our feelings, in natural, healthy ways (like crying tears) and then just as peacefully, we can let those feelings go, leaving lots of space for happiness and tranquility to seep in.

Fair Warning

Never pick a fight with a woman older than 40. They are full of rage & sick of everyones shit.

One of my friends texted this meme to our group chat yesterday, and we all heartily related to it. I sent the meme to a different friend group chat and there, I also got a very enthusiastic response. The most relatable response from one dear friend (we are all in our late forties), was this . . . . “Hell, yeah!” My friends are all lovely, fun, interesting women. I wouldn’t accuse any of us of being typical “Karens.” People like us. Or at the very least, we like each other.

However, realizing that I had hit a chord, I decided that this would be a good topic to blog about, so I started looking up articles about female rage in middle-aged women. Unfortunately, though, everything that I perused on the internet, just made me feel more annoyed and irritable than ever. Supposedly, hormones are often to blame for our collective seething anger, and many articles gave suggestions to take hormone therapy (while risking breast cancer) or to take anti-depressants, but with the warning that these medications often have the side effects of more weight gain and decreased sex drive, which are some of the biggest complaints that middle-aged women have about aging, in the first place.

I personally think that there’s a whole lot more to the story of middle-aged female rage, but finding the solutions lost my interest. . . . quickly. Anger can be a very fun and energizing and empowering emotion, when channeled appropriately. In the meantime, others (of different ages, sexes and categories) should take the above warning very seriously. We women of a certain age tend to be highly combustible, and none of us seem to find it particularly necessary nor prudent, to justify why we are this way. Nor are we particularly interested in finding a solution to it and changing it, any time soon.

“Your anger is a gift you give to yourself and the world that is yours. In anger, I have lived more fully, freely, intensely, sensitively, and politically. If ever there was a time not to silence yourself, to channel your anger into healthy places and choices, this is it.”
― Soraya Chemaly author of Rage Becomes Her