Late Night

I did something last night which I haven’t done in a long, long time. I stayed up late into the wee, wee hours of the night reading a work of fiction, from its very beginning, to its last beautiful page. I loved the book. It resonated deeply with me. This book is worth my exhaustion this morning. I am not going to tell you the title of the book. It feels too personal. It feels too revealing to just put it out there, to people who I don’t know very well. To tell you about a book that struck me this personally, would be like cruelly and neglectfully, putting my own very, sometimes fragile heart out on to the internet, to be shredded casually by the sharks that swim around us, sometimes.

My beloved and deeply appreciated readers, I tell you a lot about me, and everything that I share with you is true, but I don’t share everything. I’m not sure that I ever will. I did share some quotes from the book that I read last night, with my husband, and with my anam cara (Gaelic for soul friends). They get it. They get me. Treasure those people in your lives who really “get you”, all of you, and love you, and accept you, and understand you, and “see” you, and only want your happiness, for you. These people are incredible gifts. They are those “believing mirrors”, like Julia Cameron writes about. Your anam cara are the safes, and the strongboxes for your heart, and for your whole being. When you cultivate your anam cara in your life, never let them go. Love them deeply. And most importantly, make sure that you are one of them. Be a soul friend for your anam cara, and also be a soul friend, for yourself.

I believe that the mark of an excellent book is one that makes you feel like it has pages written about your own life, as viewed from the inside of your own head, and from the inside of your own heart wells. It feels intensely personal and echoing and vulnerable, to read a book whose words you feel deeply, and whose words keep reverberating in your mind, long after you are done reading. Treasure those kinds of books. They are rare. Like your anam cara, these books are incredible gifts in your life, too.

“Good writing is supposed to evoke sensation in the reader. Not the fact that it is raining, but the feeling of being rained upon.” – E.L. Doctorow

My friend shared a parable yesterday, about a little boy who broke one of those Dollar Store glow sticks, in order for the light of it, to comfort his upset little sister. The moral of the story was that the glow sticks only glow brightly, when they are broken. Don’t be afraid of your broken parts, friends. As we all know, it is often the broken parts of us and of others, that glow the brightest and the truest and the clearest. Our broken parts often become like the glow of the lighthouses, which act as beacons to save others from crashing into the jagged rocks and drowning. And helping to save others, helps us to save ourselves, too. That’s how Love works. Love turns our pain, back into Love, which helps each other to survive, and to thrive, and to walk this path together peacefully.

Are you passing on love, or are you passing on pain? Heal your pain and pass on love.