I love reading articles by Karen Nimmo. She’s a writer and a sports psychologist from New Zealand. She’s practical, sensible, no-nonsense, yet kind and humorous, as well. She says that when people come to her for issues in their lives, she’s noticed six universal cravings that almost all of us human beings seem to have, in order to create satisfactory lives. Karen Nimmo says that these are the six things that people crave the most:
To Be Happy
A Quiet, Calm Mind
More Excitement
More “me time”
To Contribute to the Greater Good
To be Loved
Do these resonate with you? Do you know what makes you happy? Do you know what calms you? What excites you? What would you do with more “me time” if you had it? What is your gift(s) that you bring to your communities and our world? Do you know just how deeply you are loved by many people?
These are good notions to ponder over the weekend. A new moon was just a couple of days ago. New moons are great times for fresh starts. What could you do to give yourself more of anything from the list above?
I will end with this:
Kia ora kou tou!! (this is a greeting that Karen Nimmo uses a lot. It is spoken by the Maori tribe in New Zealand and it is roughly translated as “Have Life! Be Healthy!”) Today Alan Cohen asked the question in his daily inspiration, “Are you letting lifelove you?” If you want to feel grateful, think of all of the times that life loved you, and took care of you, and made things alright, even at those times that you didn’t feel particularly lovable or worthy of love. Have Life! Be Healthy! Let life love you.
Are you passing on love or are you passing on pain? Heal your pain and pass on love.
I read an interesting article by Alan Cohen the other day. The article was talking about how there are easier ways to say “no.” The article suggested that instead of mustering up the courage to say “no” to things that we don’t want to do, we often subconsciously self-sabotage ourselves with accidents, or with other undermining behaviors towards our own selves. Sometimes pains and illnesses occur in our bodies, seemingly out of nowhere, that stop us doing from what we don’t want to do.
We don’t need to punish ourselves for our “nos”. There are easier ways to say “no” than hurting ourselves. Where do you need to be an advocate for yourself? Can you find some clues to this question in your body, or in your dreams, or in repeated negative patterns that keep occurring in your life? Be a detective about yourself. You may be surprised with the answers that you may find.
Are you passing on love or are you passing on pain? Heal your pain and pass on love.
This moment has nothing to do with the last one unless you choose the past to continue.
~ Alan Cohen
Ring out the old, ring in the new, Ring, happy bells, across the snow: The year is going, let him go; Ring out the false, ring in the true.
~ Alfred, Lord Tennyson
I’m safely back at home! After a two day journey (1200 mile road trip), and almost all six of us coming down with and recuperating from a nasty head cold virus, I am now here in my beloved writing nook, well rested enough to write my last blog post of 2022. I, for one, am not sad about 2022 soon to be in the rearview mirror. This year has been A LOT. In that mix of “A LOT” were plenty of good times and celebrations, graduations, trips and revelry, but there were also difficult losses, and vivid fears to deal with in the ways of weather (it was a busy little hurricane season this year), and with loved ones’ deadly illnesses. I’m ready to safely disembark from this steely, high thrills roller coaster of 2022, and maybe instead, get on the ferris wheel and just chill and relax and calmly enjoy the views and vistas for a little while, without getting my stomach all tied up in knots. How about you? How are you feeling about this upcoming year?
This will be a quiet New Year’s Eve for us, and I’m comfortable with that fact. I haven’t had enough time to reflect on what I want to bring into the new year with me, and what I would like to discard. I imagine that we’ll sit in front of the fire and quietly muse on these thoughts, and then maybe even wish on a star or two.
No matter how we have arrived to this day – harried, or happy, or something in between, we did it! We have achieved yet another year under our belts, and all of the joys and the challenges and the growth that 2022 brought to us, and so now, we are all equipped for leveling up tomorrow. Ready or not 2023, here we come!!! Here we come.
Are you passing on love or are you passing on pain? Heal your pain and pass on love.
The mind craves information, which is interesting. The soul craves inspiration, which is crucial. ~ Alan Cohen
I don’t plan on tying in the quote above to my writing today. I just happened to read the Alan Cohen quote this morning and I thought that it was so spot on, I had to share it. I look at my blog as a museum or a treasure chest of thoughts and ideas that I can come back to any time that I want to, or need to, and I hope that you see it as the same thing ~ a repository of ideas.
In other news, a few minutes ago, I got into a war of wills with our Boykin spaniel, Trip. I felt his soft fur at my feet as I was writing, and I heard the rustling in the garbage can, but by the time that I put 2+2 together (I’m slow in the morning time), Trip had disappeared with paper in his mouth. Trip and our collie, Josie are paper hounds. They love to chew paper. And then inevitably they end up throwing up said paper, somewhere around the house, hours later, usually in more than one “crime scene”. So, I frantically started yelling to Trip, “Leave it. Drop it!”
And in his mind, I think that he was saying to me, “Ha! Dream it.”
And then things got even better for Trip because I got easily baited into a game of chase, running around the couch (which by the way, they say is an excellent thing to do if you are ever being chased by an assailant. It is much harder to catch anyone when they are running around something, such as a parked car, than just running away.) And I know this tip. And I understand why it would be true. And yet, I still got baited into hopelessly chasing Trip around the couch, yelling, while our other dogs bounced and barked at all of the exciting revelry.
Now, two of our adult children are already home for the holidays, and I didn’t want to wake them, and I still didn’t want to clean up dog vomit later, so I knew that I had come up with another plan. As it is said, “What is the definition of insanity? Doing the same thing, again and again, and expecting different results.”
So, I went to the savory dog treat jar and I cleverly called to my pack, “Anyone want a treat?” Ralphie, the ever-hungry, always on a diet, labrador was already there, sitting with his mouth watering, and Josie was close behind. Trip stood in the entrance of the kitchen, paper in mouth, obviously carefully considering the situation. Reluctantly, he dropped the paper in his mouth. Treats inevitably taste better than wood pulp. (although probably not much better, although I have never tried them.)
Now, some would say that you should never reward a dog for being a d^%&**& (you fill in the blanks, there are a lot of words that start with the letter “D” that could work here, if you use your imagination). Trip did not listen to my command, why should he be rewarded? I think that the real treat was that I craftily outsmarted the little fellow. (Yes, I wrote that line with a smug, self-impressed expression on my face.)
And yet, if I am honest with myself, Trippy might be getting the last laugh here. I have written an entire blog post about him. And he upgraded from paper to dog treat, all the while misbehaving and causing a ruckus. (Yes, as I write this line, I peer down at my little brown spaniel at my feet, and he has quite the smug, self-impressed expression on his own cute, little face. D^&%$&!)
Are you passing on love or are you passing on pain? Heal your pain and pass on love.
I’ve had a lot of fun with this Tweet this morning. I personally love Triscuits, but as my husband and eldest son commented almost simultaneously, this tweet is “oddly true.” My daughter said that eating Triscuits, are like eating a basket. My middle son texted, “Wheat Thins > Triscuits.” I don’t agree with that formula. Wheat Thins are razor sharp. If you don’t chew them up properly, Wheat Thins are hazardous. Wheat Thins will cut you. And they’re too sweet. I prefer salty crackers. Salty>Sweet, most of the time.
On a more serious note, I like this quote from Alan Cohen:
“When you do what you are here to do, you help others do what they are here to do.”
Sometimes we ignore our own purposes, when we get over-involved in other people’s lives. (a lot of us “mom-types” have a tendency to do this) We think that we are being “helpful”, but sometimes our “helpfulness” is just used as a distraction from dealing with what we, ourselves, are meant to do, with our own one precious life. Our own life is the only life in which we are truly and fully in charge of living. And when we live our own life’s purposes, and we are fulfilling what we are meant to do, we feel the most alive and connected to the Whole. This is the best thing that we can do for ourselves, and for everyone else.
The writer Anne Lamott posted this good reminder over the weekend on Twitter:
“If you [think] you can rescue [your nearest and dearest] with your good ideas and your checkbook, or get them to choose a healthy, realistic way of life, that mistake will make both of you much worse than you already are.”
Do what you are here to do. This will inspire others on their journeys. You are not here to control/live/experience other people’s lives. You are here to experience the totally unique and precious life that has been exquisitely and generously entrusted to you. Live your gift. Live your life. Trust the process.
Are you passing on love or are you passing on pain? Heal your pain and pass on love.
