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Wandering and Pondering

It’s a deliciously cozy, rainy Saturday here. I love the all-over relaxed feel, in every part of my body. I love that my coffee tastes particularly warm and soothing. I love that the wind is just strong enough to lightly strum my wind chimes, so that their sound is pleasant and pacifying versus annoying and jarring. I think that I’ll light some candles and just breathe a while. Here are some tidbits of wisdom that I pulled off of Twitter this morning, a perfect morning to do so, to allow for some lazy mind wandering and pondering . . . .

Be someone who makes you happy. – FofF (Twitter)

Anyone can love a rose, but it takes a lot to love a leaf. It’s ordinary to love the beautiful, but it is beautiful to love the ordinary. – WISE WORDS (Twitter)

Life is worth savoring. Stop rushing through everything. If we are going to revel in the happy times we have to be able to exist peacefully in the bad times too. Stop to smell the roses. But also stop to feel the thorns. – 30 Second Therapy (Twitter)

Friday Appearances

But for today, Stephen King, since it’s Friday, let’s be content and celebrate our illusion!!! Happy Friday, friends and readers!! This was an interesting week. Being a short week and coming back from travel, I never felt like I got my groove back completely. But no worries, “the same old shit” will start back up on Monday for all of us. New readers, Fridays are just fun here at Adulting – Second Half. We do no analyzing of ourselves or of life on Fridays. On Fridays, I typically list three favorite things, websites, products, videos, songs, etc. of mine and I ask you to share your Favorites in the Comments section. Please see previous Fridays for more favorites.

As a special bonus, I learned a new word today and I wanted to gift it to you. This is from an article in the Washington Post, reviewing Amazon Prime’s new show called Modern Love:

“Orson Welles said: “I hate television. I hate it as much as peanuts. But I can’t stop eating peanuts.”

“hate-watch” – watching shows for the sole purpose of loathing them”

I have to question whether it is actually hating the show, or just mindlessly watching the TV show without really giving it much thought or emotion at all, but I don’t know. Anyway, I’m just trying to keep us all hip to the times. 😉 You’re welcome.

Today’s Favorites:

McDonald’s McRib Sandwich – Yep, it’s back. Need I say more? Go get your car keys and ask for extra napkins. Dr. Pepper is optional. You might need one late tonight, too, depending on your Friday plans. And then maybe one, tomorrow morning . . . .

String Jewelry – I have bought expensive string jewelry in fancy boutiques, but I have also found Etsy to have excellent, affordable options for buying string bracelets and necklaces. I have teeny wrists, so as much as I love big bangles, they are usually a no-go for me because I talk a lot with my hands and thus, the big bangles on my skinny wrists, have a tendency to fly off of my hand and hit other people in the head. String jewelry is dainty and lovely and fun to layer. Usually the string has small beads or charms and clasps, to upgrade it from what is just a piece of string lying in your junk drawer. Check out EmMaLoveCompany and tiedupmemories (stores on Etsy) for wonderful, customizable, affordable string jewelry options.

Vita-Pos – Earlier this year, some of you may remember that I managed to give myself a corneal abrasion on a girls’ weekend in Nashville. I was nobody’s favorite that weekend (including myself). My husband was working on giving himself a corneal abrasion lite this morning. (you contact lens wearers understand the plight) I pulled out my handy dandy little tube of comforting, soothing Vita-Pos and handed it to him, with the reassuring air of a Florence Nightingale-type mom, in a flu commercial . Vita-pos is like vaseline for the eyes and it works really well for dry-eyes, as well. Just use it before you put your contact lenses in your eyes, and let it soak up before you put your eye makeup on. (you’re welcome) I get mine on Amazon Prime.

Have fun making appearances all weekend long, guys!!! I appreciate you!

Female Forecaster

Disclaimer: My male readers are going to hate this blog post. Dear husband, you still don’t get out of editing today.

My fifteen-year-old daughter had a dermatologist appointment earlier this week. We adore her dermatologist. He is a man, probably in his late fifties/early sixties, who wears bow ties and preppy horn-rimmed glasses. He has a fun, confident, funny, yet kind, bedside manner. Her dermatologist always puts everyone at ease and makes you actually look forward to the appointments. This is a special quality that many doctors do not share, in my experience.

My daughter has been having some acne breakouts, and so we have been in the process of elimination, trying to figure out what combination of medicines and creams will work best for her skin. Her doctor seems convinced that there is a hormonal connection to her breakouts and so they had a frank discussion about her periods. Now, I was in the room and so was a female nurse and I happily observed how confident, and straightforward the conversations about my daughter’s menstruation occurred between she and her dermatologist. I did not sense any level of uncomfortableness or embarrassment from my daughter nor any inappropriateness or creepiness from her doctor. It was a proud moment for me and I realized that perhaps I was the ridiculously immature one in the room, worrying or assuming that it would go any other way. I guess if I’m honest, I was the most likely Beavis or Butthead in the room, out of everyone in there, trying to stifle nervous giggling and red face. (It’s always fun to get a less than flattering “aha moment” about yourself – not.)

Anyway, my daughter’s new medicine has to be taken at a certain point in her cycle, so she whipped out her phone, and opened up an app that told her exactly when her next period was likely to start. She told me that the app is 99 percent accurate. She said that the app keeps a calendar of her moods, her physical symptoms and gives her helpful hints along the way. I was so impressed and I was also a little bit bummed that this app would no longer be apropos for me. So, this morning, I got the bright idea that there might be a magic phone app for menopausal women, which would give me an idea of “Red Alert” days when I might be more apt to want to rip someone’s head off or cry a river over watching, self-induced repeat viewings of Humane Society commercials. I expected that I would find something really good for one of my Favorite Things Friday blog posts.

So here are some of the “goodies” that popped up first, on my menopause app search:

Hormone Horoscope Lite

Menopauze (This one got the highest rating, but it was all in German)

The Hot Years

Easy Psychiatry

Female Forecaster for Men (I kid you, not)

A Walk Through Dementia

Migraine Buddy

So depressing! I’ve never clicked out of an app search, so fast in my life. I don’t know what I was expecting exactly, but that list wasn’t “it.”

So now, I’ve decided that I’m an old-fashioned kind of a gal. My paper calendar and journals, give me enough insight about myself. (and sometimes more than I want to know) Anyway, in today’s world, I sometimes think that there’s not enough mystery left in anything. That’s why TV shows like Stranger Things are so popular. We are craving the “unknown” so much, that the idea of disgusting things, with slimy teeth, from another dimension, popping out of our walls, is strangely appealing. I’ve decided that I’m going to keep the approach to my menopause experience, like it’s Stranger Things. You just don’t know what is going to pop out next, so you just take it as it comes. And dear husband, my paper diaries are suggesting that this could be a Red Alert Day, so don’t you dare download the “Female Forecaster for Men.”

Live For Moments

“Acting is all about honesty. If you can fake that, you’ve got it made.” – George Burns

“When real music comes to me – the music of the spheres, the music that surpasses understanding – that has nothing to do with me, ’cause I’m just the channel. The joy for me is for it to be given to me, and to transcribe it like a medium… those moments are what I live for.”
– John Lennon

Creative arts is all about authenticity, vulnerability, and channeling Greater Forces. That is why we all respond to these artistic outputs, in their highest form. A beautiful painting, a breath-catching photograph, a soul-searing poem, touch us and connect us to the deepest part of ourselves like nothing else can. And then, when we look around and catch a glimmer of that same awestruck feeling that we are feeling, also in the faces of the other observers/experiencers, that’s when we feel the least alone. That is when we feel the silver web of connection that we often forget is there, holding all of us together, creating an amazing, gorgeous tapestry of Life and Love. That’s when gratitude washes over us and cleanses us to our cores, reminding us of what we are all really made of, at our purest form of passionate energy.

My friend turned me on to Lizzo yesterday. Her college-aged daughter introduced her to Lizzo and I earned a lot of “cool mom points” when I picked up my daughter from the high school yesterday, playing Lizzo, at high volume. My daughter knew all of the words already. Lizzo is a female rapper and most of her songs speak of empowerment. Lizzo sings/says a song called “Truth Hurts.” When I looked the song up on Youtube, I saw this comment, about the song, that made me smile:

“this song makes me feel like a strong independent woman.. and i’m a guy.” – Foreign Warren

My favorite line in Lizzo’s “Truth Hurts” is this:

“Why men great ’til they gotta be great?”

If we’re going to talk about equality and empowerment, that line applies to all of us – male and female and everything else in between, doesn’t it? We lose the connection and the channel to our deepest, most creative inspirations, when we start focusing on the response to our output versus the joy of creating (an co-creating) the output. When we start aiming in on how many likes and views and notes of approval from others that we’re hoping to get, the connection to what the Universe is really trying to do with our lives, gets static-y and sometimes even gets disconnected. And we feel lost and confused and disappointed and sometimes, empty. We need to be refilled with what really keeps us connected. And the rub is, what keeps us connected is not anything applauding us on the outside, but moreso, what is deep, and profound, rising up inside of us, just wanting to burst through, in all of its glory.

John Lennon is arguably one of the greatest musicians of our lifetime and “those moments are what I live for” were the moments that he was gifted to “transcribe” what the Universe wanted the rest of us to enjoy, and to relate to and to sing along to, sometimes at the top of our lungs. He didn’t talk about sold-out concerts, or how many people were in his fan club, or his NYC penthouse. Lennon’s “live for moments” were during the creative process, with his juices flowing, and his open heart just taking in everything and transcribing the Love that was meant to touch all of our hearts, every time we listened to one of Lennon’s songs.

Image result for quotes on the artistic process

The Blues

In the airport yesterday, I was watching a TV program discussing the Blue Zone lifestyle. The Blue Zones are places like Sardinia, Italy; Nicoya Peninsula, Costa Rica; Loma Linda, Calif.; and Okinawa, Japan. Although geographically spread out, the people of these communities practice remarkably similar lifestyles that have given them much longer longevity numbers than the world’s average and they have also been found to have less cancer, less cardiovascular disease, less depression and less dementia. The island of Icaria, Greece (also a Blue Zone area) has the highest percentage of 90-year-olds on the planet, where nearly 1 out of 3 people make it to their 90s. Apparently, Icarians have about 20 percent lower rates of cancer, 50 percent lower rates of heart disease and almost no dementia.

On the other hand:

“The average life expectancy in the U.S. has been on the decline for three consecutive years.

A baby born in 2017 is expected to live to be 78.6 years old, which is down from 78.7 the year before, according to data from the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention’s National Center for Health Statistics.” – CNBC 7/9/19

The above article quoted states that the decline in Americans’ life expectancy rate has to do with a rises in suicides, liver disease and drug overdoses. We clearly have something to learn from these Blue Zoners. In a nutshell, taken from a book called The Blue Zones: Lessons for Living Longer from the People Who’ve Lived the Longest by Dan Buettner, here are the nine common factors believed to create the longevity and daily health of the people in the Blue Zones:

Know your purpose.
Eat less.
Have faith and a spiritual practice.
Eat mostly plants
Drink wine in moderation.
Have a healthy way to decompress from stress. (prayer, meditation, singing, etc.)
Move naturally throughout the day. (moderate exercise throughout the day versus occasional hardcore workouts)
Have strong connections to family and close friends.
Have a social life.

This is clearly oversimplified, but there is so much information and the science behind it, all over the internet, that goes into greater detail. I’ve always been one who leans towards the KISS system. (Keep it simple, stupid.) So I think that it can all be summed up this way:

“If you ask what is the single most important key to longevity, I would have to say it is avoiding worry, stress and tension. And if you didn’t ask me, I’d still have to say it.” – George Burns

Sing Us a Song

Last night, I attended a wonderful concert, in which a 71-year-old musician, an old-time rocker, had us all up on our feet. He was still a great showman, changing costumes, running across the stage and yelling out a primal scream that at my age of 48, I don’t think that I have in me anymore. I imagine that this performer will be a showman until the day that he dies.

I love musicians. If there is anyone who lives their lives on their sleeves, it is them. Anyone who can turn raw emotion into a song that keeps the rest of us humming along in life, is a true alchemist. Watching a band in the middle of a set, is watching pure life and happiness flow out of its human forms to congregate and make beautiful sound and rhythm and harmony, that the rest of us catch and bring into our souls, as we sing and dance along. There is no wonder why musicians capture our awe and adoration. They remind us what pure life sounds like and feels like in reverberation. What a gift that has been bestowed upon them, in the form of a talent that is only best understood when it is shared. Music is Love whispered, shouted, sung, and hummed and strummed, reminding us of the vibration of our own very hearts, way beyond just the physical beats.

“Music gives a soul to the universe, wings to the mind, flight to the imagination and life to everything.” ― Plato

Cacophony

Yesterday, we were perusing a really cool, modern, city bike shop. While making our purchases, sitting right by the cash register, I noticed a little display, of tiny bike bells, guaranteed to make the loudest, longest ringing sound that a bike bell has ever made. So like any mature middle-aged person, I rang one of the bells. Sure enough, the advertisements were not a lie. There were several different colors of bells on the display, so without really thinking, more on impulse, I guess, I decided to try every color at once (as if the color of the metal was going to make any difference in the sound). It was like a little bell symphony – a loud and annoying and never-ending one.

The clerk had a wincing look on her face and a tight smile as she wrapped up our purchases.

“Ugh. I’m sorry about my lack of impulse control,” I said. “You probably hate these bells. It’s like the stores that keep their animated holiday decorations right by the register. While the rest of us are all kind of enchanted by the bobbing Elvis Christmas dog belting out “I’ll Have a Blue Christmas” with just a press of its cute little paw in a mitten, the cashier is ready to beat anyone black and blue with the mechanical Elvis dog, because she or he has already seen and heard the dog’s little song and dance, 18,942 times and it isn’t even Halloween yet.”

“Exactly,” she said with a fatigued look on her face, watching my hands very closely, just daring me to make the unfortunate decision to ring yet another bell.

I just smiled, thanked her, took my package and left. I’m a mature woman. Plus, I think that being pelted by a box of metal bike bells would be very painful.

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Unplugging

Friends, you’ll have to forgive me, but I have unplugged the thinking, analyzing, story-telling, making sense of things through my perceptions and moods, part of my brain.

I am on a wonderful trip, enjoying family members and exploring new places. I am in “just experience this” mode and it is fabulous. It is such a relaxing, peaceful, full of wonder and delight, state of being. Why can’t I be in this “fully present and happily aware of the moment” state all of the time?? Uh oh. There it is. The critical analyzer in me just got plugged back in. Who did that? Unplugging now. Awww, so much better . . . . . .

Listen, It’s Friday!

Hi all! Yay! It’s finally Friday! Happy Friday!!! On Fridays, nothing of any kind of a serious nature is discussed here at Adulting – Second Half. On Fridays, I typically list three favorite products, songs, websites, books, etc. that make my Material Girl life all of the more fun. I strongly encourage my readers to add their favorites to the Comments section, so that we all can have even more fun this weekend. Please see previous Friday posts for more of my favorites. Today I am going to list my favorite “kid videos” that make me smile and giggle out loud, again and again. Many of you will recognize the first video which is the inspiration for the above meme. Click on the videos and giggle away!

Happy Friday, dear readers and friends!!! I hope that you have a fabulous weekend!!

Where is the love, y’all??

“Here’s the thing – I’m friends with George Bush.

“In fact, I’m friends with a lot of people who don’t share the same beliefs that I have. We’re all different, and I think we’ve forgotten that that’s okay, that we’re all different.”

The presenter used the example that while she wishes people didn’t wear real fur, she has a lot of friends who do.

“But just because I don’t agree with someone on everything, doesn’t mean that I’m not going to be friends with them,” DeGeneres said.

-From the Ellen Degeneres show, after the fallout of her sitting next to George W. Bush during a football game

You know that I have sidestepped and tried to stay away from controversy, for the most part, in my blog. I don’t like politics (nor politicians, frankly), I believe that there are many paths to God, and I certainly don’t care to have people cram their opinions and “shoulds” down my throat. Further, if I just don’t agree with the other person’s opinion, I don’t care to be made out as an “idiot” or even worse, a “villian.” I respect everyone’s right to their own viewpoint, and I expect the same respect in return. No harm, no foul.

What I was trying to get across in my blog that I wrote on Tuesday (Love. Spirit. Life.) was that if we can’t have honest discourse and questioning with each other about our differences, if we have to feel fearful of admitting our conflicted thoughts and feelings and beliefs, all that have arisen from our own unique and personal experiences – these very experiences that have helped shape our own lifetime perspectives, how are we ever going to evolve and move forward to a more enlightened, cohesive state of being, as a whole? How are we ever going to feel that we are leaving a good world for our children and our grandchildren, when we pick divisiveness and exclusivity in our “clubs of thought” over our love for the whole of humanity?

If I were to only choose to associate with people who felt the exact same way as I do about all things, than I wouldn’t have one single friend. In fact, the six people who I love the most in this world, my immediate family, would no longer be able to associate with each other. In the last presidential election, the voting members of our family of six, effectively cancelled each others’ votes out.

We all complain about the horrifying polarization of our current society (that seems like the one thing most of us agree about), yet we start out with the assumption that anyone who doesn’t see things the way that we do, is evil or stupid – people to be feared and ostracized. How are we ever going to experience empathy, understanding and compromise, if we are made to feel that we can’t even express our own viewpoints for fear of being excommunicated from our communities, our churches, our friend groups, perhaps even our own families?!? What is our highest law? Shouldn’t it be Love?!? Does Love behave this way?!?

We all complain about the horrific statements made anonymously on the internet. Still, even with these forums, we have gotten so “careful” that I have even seen anonymous Comments, start off with, “I’m probably going to be skewered for this, but here goes . . . .”

We will never be entirely unified with anyone about everything. But if we choose to only communicate and commune with people who are close enough to “being just like us”, we will never, ever bridge these ever widening gaps. We will just add more suspicion, paranoia and make assumptions about other people, without ever trying to see them as most importantly, other people who likely have the very same deepest, core concerns as us. (love, safety, health, security, and peace for our families and our friends, our communities, and our world)

I am always amused when people tell me I’m so “honest” in my blog. Why shouldn’t we all be “honest”? I’m not saying cruel, and thoughtless and blunt. (which unfortunately, I have been these things, as well, and I am not proud of that fact) Why do we fear having open, authentic discourse? I think it is because the new way of communicating seems to be more “cram my righteous thoughts, ‘my holier than thou beliefs’ down your throat” and if you don’t agree with me, I will attack you with name-calling, bullying, shaming and ganging up on you, and then I will never speak to you (or anyone who you associate with) again.”

What ever happened to really hearing each other, trying to understand where the other person is coming from? What every happened to saying, “This is how I am seeing and experiencing and processing what is going on. Tell me your thoughts. Where am I wrong? What am I missing?” Whatever happened to the belief that in the end, we are so much better off looking for our connections, than staying in our far corners of disconnect??

I don’t like rants. I just wrote one. I am only human. Aren’t we all???

“Discussions are always better than arguments, because an argument is to find out WHO is right, and a discussion is to find our WHAT is right.” – unknown