Blog - Page 179 of 232 - Adulting: Second- Half

Day One of 21

So regular readers and subscribers, you probably noticed that my daily blog post came out a little later than usual during the holiday season. That was due to pure gluttony, laziness and indulgence, on my part. I did a lot of sleeping in. I love my sleep! Today, I am late because I am trying to make a new routine, my regular daily habit. They say that you can make a habit out of anything that you do for 21 days straight, so that is my goal. I figure if I write it here, I will feel more accountable to myself and to you. If you get an early morning post from me, call me out on it.

Some of my most favorites things to do are writing, reading, perusing the internet for good articles and good things to buy. So, most of last year, after I dropped my daughter off at school, I ran right to my computer and turned it on and then all of the sudden 1:30 pm rolled around. That is when I got into panic mode, picking my lovely daughter up from school in the same state that I took her to school – bedhead, smeared mascara and yesterday’s clothes. Fashion is, truthfully, a big favorite of mine, but I found myself getting ready for the day, around 2:30 pm, every single day and only getting my fashion fix for a few hours of the day. Now fashion is something that I actually like playing around with – laundry and exercise, not so much. So if my fashion fun got put on to the back burner, I am going to be honest here and say that many times, other things such as laundry and exercise, got put off entirely and indefinitely. That is not a healthy way to live. It causes me a lot of undue stress and anxiety. Therefore, I’ve decided I will reward myself with my fun with writing, and reading, and perusing the on-line shops and horoscopes, only after I exercise, shower, pull something out of the freezer to defrost for dinner, take my vitamins and put a load of laundry into the washer. My writing and sharing with you has become my great reward for being a healthier participant in the orderliness in my life and that of my family’s lives. I am doing great so far. I’m proud of myself. Of course, this is only Day One.

On an aside, I do my exercises to SNL videos. Before allowing me to watch my chosen SNL skit this morning, while I attempted to do some decent planks (“attempt” being the key word here), YouTube asked me to fill out a survey. They wanted to know what age bracket I was in. For the first time in my life, I was in the oldest bracket, the last choice, that choice being “D. Aged 45+”. That, quite honestly, threw me into a mini-spiral of swirling emotion. I felt annoyed and indignant. The survey said that this will help YouTube to pick out the “appropriately interesting” clips for me to watch. Huh?!? I’ll pick out what I want to watch, thank you very much. I am pretty sure that I have a quirkier, more open-minded, kinda “out there” sense of humor than a lot of people in my age bracket, which now includes me and my friend’s 95 year-old grandmother.

Enough ranting – I also told myself that 2020 was going to be out about positivity. Here is today’s fortune (sorry I forgot about yesterday’s fortune. This starting a new habit thing is not as easy as one would think):

“Savor the days.” – Ing

Just Shine

“Is your glass half empty or half full?” asked the mole.

“I think I’m grateful to have a glass,” said the boy.

From The Boy, the mole, the fox, and the Horse

This quote was brought to my mind, when my husband gave me an excellent article from the WSJ, written by Peggy Noonan to read. She talked about a conversation she was having with a great artist on New Year’s Eve. He was asking her if she was optimistic or pessimistic about the upcoming year. She answered this way:

“I will simply think I am here/I am here/I am lucky/I’m alive.”

It is my own spiritual beliefs, that life is mostly just meant to be a grand, awe-inspiring experience. I think that before we got on to this Earth plane, we were just tiny, little sparks of Creation, just begging to give real, tactile, sensual, emotional Life on Earth, a try. We were like shiny, beautiful droplets of Light, in a line full of other droplets of starlight, feeling very excited, very anticipatory, full of wonderment about what our turn on the roller coaster ride on Earth was going to be like. We were jumping up and down, saying, “Pick me! Pick me! Me, next, please! Please! Please!!” Back then, we intuitively understood that it was just going to be a thrill ride – a chance for us to really, fully and truly experience the larger wave of Creation, experiencing the Greatness and infinitely creative versions of Itself, here on Earth. The ride would have its ups and downs, of course. Some parts of it would be scary. Some parts would be exciting. Some parts of the thrilling ride experience would help to give us a better bird’s eye view and perspective of the overall Life experience. Overall though, back then, we knew that it was just a ride, a ride that would be over more quickly than we could ever imagine. Even if the ride was too thrilling, or too overwhelming, we knew, surely and faithfully, that this ride on Earth, would bring us back to a safe end of the adventurous experience, back into the arms of the bigger wave of Oneness, back with all of the other droplets of Love and Light, the ones who we intimately know and love and experience Oneness and wholeness with together. We didn’t have fear when we were just teeny, tiny beautiful droplets of Light (and Love). We only had excitement, and wonderment, and zest for the upcoming creative experience. But then, in our human form, we sometimes forget where we came from, and we take the life experience WAY too seriously. We forget that many, many tiny droplets of light, together, make up the most beautiful, powerful, clean light, shining from the sun, and the moon and the stars. We think that we are separate from the whole, and we grow dim with fear and worry and mistrust and trying to do it/fix it/be it, all alone, just by ourselves, forgetting that this is not possible nor necessary nor wise. Silly us! Perhaps if we could sit back more, and just enjoy the ride, enjoy the experience, be in total awe of what the Oneness of us has created, is creating, and will forever create, we could just let it all go and just shine . . . . .

Image result for particles of stardust quote

Soul Sunday

Sundays are a virtual coffee house, poetry workshop here at Adulting – Second Half. So grab a cup of whatever moves you, and let it flow. Your feelings, your words, your inspirations, whatever comes . . . . please feel comfortable (and excited!) to share your poems in the Comments section. I’m new to poetry, too. This is a no judgment zone. Here’s mine today:

Our Burrow

When all else fails to soothe me,

In your arms, late in the evening or early in the morning,

is my comfort, my peace, my sanctuary.

I want you to feel the current of my love,

Pulsating from something very deep inside the well-spring of my vitality,

Surrounding the form that makes the two of us only One.

One with Oneness, though seemingly quiet and vulnerable,

the robes of our daily defenses completely let down and put aside,

and yet, at this unruffled, untroubled, tranquil time,

We are at our most impenetrable, solid strength.

Our energies merged, the same energies that made our Love and

our loves . . . . our shared creations, experiences, our shared Life.

During these wordless moments with you,

Is when I know Love the most.

(Ooops! I already almost forgot the daily fortune. Here it is:

If one would move the world, one must move oneself. – Socrates)

First Friday

“After ecstasy, the laundry.” – Zen saying

Welcome to the first Favorite Things Friday of the new year and of the new decade!!!! This is the first time, in probably a whole decade, that I am saying to myself, “Wow, I can’t believe that it is Friday already.” The buzz that I have been hearing around with my friends and neighbors, has been a lot of “craving structure” and “getting back to a sense of normalcy.” That is one of my favorite gifts that we get every single year from the holiday season – a true appreciation of our normal, every day lives. New readers, Fridays are fun and frivolous. I typically list three items, songs, websites, etc. that make my world pop. I encourage you to check out previous Friday posts for more favorites and as always, please share your own favorites in the Comments section. It is kind to share.

Here we go:

One Hundred Fortunes – The above quote is from this adorable tiny, beautifully wrapped package of One Hundred Fortunes. I picked today’s beautiful paper fortune, out of the pile randomly and I think that I am going to try to pick one fortune out and put it on to the blog post every day, until I run out. On Christmas Eve, my family and I, each drew our own fortune out of the pile. We took turns reading our fortunes and saying what we felt that the fortune meant to us or was saying about the world. It is one of my most favorite 2019 holiday memories. It felt so intimate and warm to really hear each other’s thoughts and feelings and perspectives. You can find this and other wonderful delights on the creator’s (Ingrid Goff-Maidoff) website: www.TendingJoy.com

The Boy, the mole, the fox and the Horse (by Charlie Mackesy) – This is Barnes and Noble’s “book of the year” and all you have to do is to flip through it, to understand why. The illustrations are so whimsical and enchanting. I read it to my family on Christmas Eve, as if they were all little children again, and we all lapped up the experience. (either that, or they are all great fakers ;)) The story has a timeless message and I know that our copy will stay in our family forever.

Deep Sleep Pillow Spray by thisworks – I wouldn’t put this stuff in the Tylenol PM category, but the beautiful, refreshing lavendar scent is a wonderfully dreamy way to fall into a nice, peaceful, blissful slumber. The scent whispers comfort and peace. I got mine on Anthropologie’s website.

I guess that I am feeling a little bit more serious and sentimental than I typically feel on Fridays. I suppose this may be because I am in a reflective mood, with it being the end of the year, the end of a decade, the end of our winter break and yet also, the sweet and exciting start to a new year, a new decade, and a new chapter, in all of our lives. The photo below is the last page of The Boy, the mole, the fox and the Horse. I think that it says what I am trying to convey, the best. Have a great weekend!!!

Kia Ora

Wow. I always want to start out of the New Year starting gate, raring to go, but I think that I am a slow starter. No, I know that I am a slow starter. The tortoise wins the race, though, right? In New Zealand, today is officially celebrated as the New Year’s Day holiday. Today, I am a New Zealander.

Thank you for my New Year’s wishes from some of my regular readers (and friends). We had a lovely time with our college friends. How can you not have a great time with people who have decided to remain friends with you for 30+ years? That needs to be cherished and rewarded. And luckily, all of us girls married nice, solid guys (the good ones whom we decided to hold on to 😉 ) and we are all blessed with wonderful, kind, pleasant children. It was a fantastic way to end one year out and bring in the new one.

I was scrolling through Twitter this morning and this post caught my eye. It was a re-tweet from a twitter account called Jessica Dore (I do not know anything about her, but I find this post very thought-provoking.) Let’s all be heroes and really, really start living even more full and authentic and brave lives this year, and throughout the decade ahead! As the New Zealanders apparently say, KIA ORA in 2020! (Maori for “be well”) Here’s the post:

Day One

Happy New Year!! I’m sorry for the delay, we just got wifi back on. Thank you for supporting my first full year of blogging. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. I hope to make 2020, my second full year of Adulting – Second Half! I wish for all of us (in no particular order) peace, joy, happiness, love, health, great relationships, security and wonderful adventures in this next year and the new decade to boot. Have a wonderful day. May it be a beautiful start to all of the best things in life, in the days ahead.

The End

For the first time in a long time, I am going to attend a New Year’s Eve party tonight. Typically, I stay in, and do more quiet, spiritual reflection. Ironically, all of my horoscopes are telling me that this particular New Year’s Eve would be a good year to stay in and do quiet, spiritual reflection. Ha!

Here are some good NYE toasts, ranging from funny to serious, to share tonight, starting with funny, moving to serious:

“Here’s health to those I love and wealth to those who love me.”

“May all your troubles during the coming year be as short as your New Year’s resolutions.”

“Youth is when you’re allowed to stay up late on New Year’s Eve. Middle age is when you’re forced to.” — Bill Vaughn

“He who breaks a resolution is a weakling; he who makes one is a fool.” — F.M. Knowles

“We will open the book. Its pages are blank. We are going to put words on them ourselves. The book is called Opportunity and its first chapter is New Year’s Day.” — Edith Pierce

“For last year’s words belong to last year’s language, and next year’s words await another voice. And to make an end is to make a beginning.” — T.S. Eliot

Happy New Year’s Eve, friends! However you bring the new year in, even if it is deep in slumber, I am very excited to connect with you next year!!! It’s going to be a great year. 🙂

Grand Memories

Over a decade ago, some friends of mine from college and I, decided to try a little experiment. We were in our late thirties and we had well-established families. We all had at least three kids (my family had the biggest family, consisting of four children). We thought that it could be neat and fun, to attempt a shared family vacation. We imagined renting a huge, rambling beach house, taking turns making meals, picking restaurants, sharing laughs, fun, memories and getting a slowed-down chance to really get to know each other’s babies and husbands, a little bit better. Going into it, I knew that this particular trip was either going to be absolutely fantastic or extremely hellish, nothing in between. Our family was accustomed to taking our own private family trips. We already always had enough chaos going on between the six of us. I couldn’t fully fathom what adding eight more adults and twelve more kids into the mix, was going to bring, other than knowing that it would be either exponentially great or exponentially horrible. It turns out that the trip was FABULOUS! Exponentially.

We had such an amazing time. My favorite memory of that long ago get-together, is all twenty-six of us, combing the beach at night, with head lamps and flashlights and buckets, foraging for night crabs. Some of us got cut by pincers (probably deservedly) and some of us were never agile enough to catch a crab (me and some of the babies), but the merriment, the excitement, and the in-the-moment joyousness of the event is something that I will never, ever forget. The kooky babysitters who we hired, making shell and sea grass jewelry with the young ladies of the group, my friend who grew up in Baltimore teaching us the proper way to truly get your money’s worth out of getting all of the meat (and I mean ALL) out of a boiled crab, and the early morning jaunts to the decadent doughnut shop, are all part of a wonderful collection of recollections, that are kept in a treasured, safe corner of my still solid memory bank. The evening card games ended each night in hilarity (and even some tension), as all of us adults were a little more hyper-competitive than any of us ever wanted to admit. Then, even later into the night, one of us couples would steal off into the night, climbing the dunes, under the romantic moonlight, knowing that our babies were safe and sound, with trusted, loving friends. It was a beautiful experience. The only negative thing that I brought back from that trip was that one of my friends introduced my children to peanut butter and marshmallow fluff sandwiches. I was never able to avoid the jars of marshmallow fluff at the grocery store after that trip, without all of my children chorusing together, in loud begging and whining tones, for us to purchase at least one jar. My house was forever-filled with extremely sticky, dirty fingerprints after that vacation. And it was totally worth it.

Unfortunately, we were never really able to completely recapture that multi-family beach experience again. The following years included the recession, out of state moves, marriage break-ups, friendship shake-ups, and the inevitable over-taxed schedules of maturing families. Our family, having the eldest of the children and having been the ones who moved the furthest away, was never able to be part of some of the smaller get-togethers that happened after that wonderful inaugural event. So, earlier this month, when one of my girlfriends offered up her house, for a New Year’s Eve reunion of this wonderful group of friends and our families, we jumped on it! The kids are all older now, mostly in their late years of high school and college. Only my two youngest kids will be coming along on the trip with my husband and I, this go around. Some of the other kids of the group have to stay home for work obligations, as well. Us parents have a few more wrinkles and a lot more gray hair (and in some cases, less hair) than we had on that long-ago beach trip, over ten years ago. Still, I no longer have to question which way this trip is going to go. This time, I already know that it is going to be fabulous, and I have an empty vault in my memory bank, just waiting to be filled up with the best treasures of all – grand memories, the kind of memories that make up a person’s life.

Soul Sunday

(shhhh. Let’s do our poetry thing today, like we do every Sunday. Let’s not just read each other’s words. Let’s feel them.)

GODSPEED

As a mama, I’ve been practicing the art

of letting go

From the moment you were born.

The little good-byes . . . .

A tender kiss goodnight,

As I placed you in your crib.

The brave wave,

At the door of the preschool.

Your first sleepover,

Your first camp weekend,

Your first school trip, out of state,

Your first year at college,

Your study abroad experience,

Your college graduation,

Leading you to your adult life.

A grand adventure, for sure.

I found you little red curls from your first haircut,

the other day.

They were so tiny, and silky, and new.

I tucked them away, like I do with so many of my memories,

and my emotions, which are large and coarse and timeless.

I don’t want to make you feel lonely or sad or scared,

when we do another good-bye at the airport today.

I’m proud that we have both done what we are supposed to do.

Me, relinquishing, proudly. (bravely)

You, going on with your journey. (confidently)

Both of us. (courageous and bold and loved)