This week feels very poetic (in a beautiful, serendipitous kind of a way), for some reason. I read this poem today and I had to share it:
Clearing
Do not try to save the whole world or do anything grandiose. Instead, create a clearing in the dense forest of your life and wait there patiently, until the song that is your life falls into your own cupped hands and you recognize and greet it. Only then will you know how to give yourself to this world so worth of rescue. ― Martha Postlewaite
We all have our own little parts, yet very significant parts, to play in the co-creation of this world that we live in, breathe in, love in, dance in, sing in, cook in, feel in, heal in, obsess in, fear in, anger in, paint in, cry in, laugh in, crunch numbers in, play in, learn in, grow in, give birth in, die in. It is my wish for today, that a “knowingness” peacefully covers all of us – a surety of what our own very unique, highest part is to play, in this co-creation, just for today, for the best interests of everyone. I suppose that I will just call that surety/knowingness/peacefulness, “faith.”
Fortune for the day – “Chance is always powerful. Let your hook be always cast. In the pool where you least expect it, there will be a fish.” – Ovid
Fortune for the day – “Luck never made a person wise.” – Seneca
My friend’s husband made a wonderful, easy to visualize analogy the other day. He said that this is one of those times of the year that many of us start to feel like bait fish, with a thousand little have-tos, annoyances, self-created problems and projects, appointments, trips to plan, work issues, tax issues, health issues, house issues etc. etc. nibbling at us, tearing us apart, one teeny bite at a time. If you look at those poor bait fish in the picture above, they certainly aren’t faring that well, at all. I suppose the same could be said about us, when we let our lives swim out of control.
Similarly, I once read that if you dream that you have little bugs crawling all around you or on you, you are having one of those bait fish moments, in your life. (or if it’s a really lucid dream, check your bed closely, for bed bugs) These types of dreams signify that you probably have too many things on your mind, too many things coming at you from every direction possible, and your subconscious is trying to get your attention to simplify, using a dramatic, disturbing, creepy, crawly bug dream to wake you up to your living reality that is currently just too much to handle, right now, for you.
Peter McWilliams said this, “You can have anything you want, but you can’t have everything you want . . .. . Living on this planet has some down-to-earth limitations. First we can put our body in only one place at a time. Second there are only 24 hours a day, 365 (or 366) days per year. Third, the human lifetime is only so long (150 years seems to be tops). . . . The limitations become even more severe when we consider the time we spend on maintenance: sleeping, washing, eating – and some of us even have to make money to pay for all of that.”
He also said this, “You can have anything you want. Pick what you want most and if it’s available, if it doesn’t already belong to someone else (who wants to keep it) – you can have it. . . . The catch? The more unobtainable the “want” you want, the more you must sacrifice to get it. It’s not that you can’t have it, it’s that you’ll have to give up many and maybe all other things.”
I am seeing this phenomenon happening with my middle son right now. He aspires to go to medical school. He is a junior in college. He is trying to balance keeping his grades up, studying for the MCAT, making money being a teaching assistant, keeping a healthy relationship with his girlfriend, and still trying to stay physically robust and strong. He lamented to me recently that this has been his least favorite semester in college. He has had to forgo almost all of his social life with his fraternity and unlike most of his friends, he is coming home for his spring break, to focus entirely on studying for the MCAT, the test that largely determines, if and where, you will attend medical school. There are no guarantees, at this point. My son and I talked about how his dreams and his future are worth this sacrifice, as hard as it is to “miss out” right now.
As McWilliams states, “At a certain point in most everyone’s life – rich, poor, organized, or scattered – the wants outnumber the available hours in the day. At that point, a want must go a-wanting. . . . The solution is preventative: choose carefully at the outset. Be grateful that, although you can’t have everything, some very nice anythings await your selection.”
Perhaps if you are feeling “buggy” or “bait fishy” right now, it is time to become more selective and choosy as to where you are putting your time and your energy. There is always time for brief pauses to breathe, to reflect, to let go, and to reset. If you don’t take those pauses for yourself, those pauses of consideration, those pauses that are making sure that you are living your priorities, then sometimes major pauses, will be forced upon you, by a worn out body, or a neglected partner, or a frustrated boss, or a mental breakdown, etc. etc. Be a healthy fish. Swim in clearer water, with a vision of what you want your place in the pond to look like – the place that is perfect for you. Let go of the rest.
Fortune for the day – “The human soul needs actual beauty more than bread.” – D.H. Lawrence
I am one of those people who is pretty open and approachable. This has been a blessing and a curse in my life. I’ve had to do a lot of studying about boundaries. Yet, at the same time, I have met the most fascinating people, with the most engrossing stories because I honestly find most people, from every walk of life, absolutely enchanting and I think that they figure that out pretty quickly. This morning my friendliness was a beautiful blessing. I met a fellow writer in the least likely of places. We are having the popcorn ceiling removed in our garage. The project supervisor is a lovely man named Walberto Campos. I mentioned that I would be inside writing if he needed me to answer any questions. He mentioned that he, too, was a writer. He writes poetry, political satires about what is going on in his country of El Salvador, and he is currently working on a novel. We completely bonded in the matter of a few minutes over our love for the written word. He showed me a couple of his poems. He had written a passionate, beautiful poem for his wife, as a Valentines gift. I asked him if I could publish it on my blog and he generously offered it up. I was going to wait to publish it on Soul Sunday, but instead, I will offer it up as a gift to all of us today. On a funny aside, with all of this popcorn ceiling business (which is 100 percent my husband’s detail oriented side coming out), I insisted that my husband handle this enterprise completely, from getting estimates, to setting up the project and then arranging to pay for it. I get burned out of babysitting house projects very quickly, and then, the not-so-approachable, not so very friendly side of me, rears her ugly head of snakes. So, this morning, I told Walberto to just text my husband the poem (the love poem) because that would be easiest since he and my husband have been making all of the project arrangements through text. He looked at me like, “Okay, really?!?” I said, “Don’t worry, Walberto. I’ll text him that it is coming, but we’ve been married for over 25 years. He’s used to these things, with me, and the new friends whom I meet all of the time. It would be weirder if he didn’t get a love poem from a contractor on a Monday morning.” Here’s the poem. Start Monday off right:
Fortune for the Day – “If you judge people, you have no time to lovethem.” – Mother Teresa
Good morning, my dear friends and readers. I hope that you are well today. New readers, Sundays are dedicated to poetry here at Adulting-Second Half. Please share your poems in the Comments. Soul Sunday, has quickly become my most popular, “read” day on the blog. That tells me that poetry moves many souls, in many ways. Share your poems, friends. When you share your poems, I think that you share your most intimate, less “crafted” self. And that is the greatest gift that you can give to yourself and to the world.
Here is my poem for the day:
Cleaning Out the Garage
There’s a heap of our family life,
Unceremoniously dumped on the curb of the drive.
A litany of sports played by the kids,
starting with small plastic bats, moving on to helmets.
Helmets for everything – bike riding, lacrosse, softball.
Old suitcases, cracked and weathered with age and wear,
But once the housers of our treasures and trinkets as they witnessed,
The grand adventures of our chaotic family vacations.
The suitcases are piled on top of the piles and piles and piles of rags.
Rags, that once started out as the nice, fresh, new towels,
Only to brought out for guests, but after years of use,
Relegated to the rag pile in the garage, best used to wipe down cars.
No one has taken the electric scooter yet,
The in-line skates are past their prime.
The bike baskets are charming, but faded and crumbly.
It takes a great deal of fortitude to clean out the garage.
Most especially, emotional fortitude.
A small piece of my heart is faintly beating,
Underneath the heap of our family life, lying by the road.
This is Yazemeenah Rossi, a 63-year-old top paid model and photographer. She didn’t even start a modeling career until her late forties. Below is an excerpt from an interview that she had with a London magazine called Sweaty Betty, I’ve highlighted the parts of the interview that really struck a chord with me.
What’s the secret to a healthy lifestyle?
Happiness is what makes you glow, not just the healthy food you put in your body. It’s not a question of hair, makeup or clothes. We have to realise that the beauty of it is that we are all different.
What is happiness to you?
Water. Yoga. Fresh, organic food that I cook myself. To live in a peaceful place with light and a view of the ocean. To live at my own pace, doing what I want, when I want. These are my basic needs.
Can you tell us your beauty secrets?
There is no big secret, all I have ever done is eat organic food long before it became trendy. I also love olive oil, I rub it on my skin every day. Aging is an organic, natural process that I have no power over — unless you count the power of letting go.
What advice would you give your younger self?
I never give advice, I give information. Be free and don’t judge yourself. Take advantage of how you are. As I’ve got older I’ve realised sexy means alive. I’m alive.
Hi friends and readers!! I’m ready for Friday. How about you? New readers, Fridays are dedicated to favorites here at Adulting – SecondHalf. Sometimes my favorites are songs or things or beauty products or food or whatever. I strongly encourage you to check out previous Friday postings for more favorites and please, please add your own favorites to the Comments section. Speaking of favorites, here’s a kindly reminder: McDonald’s Shamrock Shakes are back. They also have a Shamrock McFlurry this year. I can personally attest to the fact that both are delicious, as ever. No particular “things” are sticking out to me as favorites this week, so I’m just going to list some good words of wisdom, I pulled from my internet browsing and reading, this week:
“Difficult roads lead to beautiful places.” – f of f (Twitter)
“It’s okay if you don’t like me, cause not everyone has good taste.” – f of f (Twitter)
“You don’t have to change your life overnight, but try to add good things to each day.” – f of f (Twitter)
“Throw me to the wolves and I will return leading the pack.” – Tiffanie Seiler
“When you put someone on a pedestal, they will always look down on you.” – unknown
Effect – bring about a result. Affect – to make a difference. (good grammar tip)
“You can’t bring up my past to break me, that’s what made me.” – f of f (Twitter)
“Keep in mind that you don’t have to feel brave to do brave things. Brave is more of an action than a feeling anyway.” – Holiday Mathis
“You can’t start the next chapter of your life if you keep re-reading the last one.” – f of f (Twitter)
“True friends stab you in the front.” – Oscar Wilde
“Give a man a mask and he will show you his true face.” – Oscar Wilde (think internet trolls)
“I love this crazy, tragic, sometimes almost magic, awful, beautiful life.” – Darryl Worley
“Romantic love is a kind of spell. As anyone who has ever read a fairytale knows, spells have a way of being broken. That’s why it helps when you have many different kinds of love for the same person. The loyal love you feel for country and family; the compassion you feel for the young, old, or weak; the playful, competitive love that siblings and friends share_ if all these kinds of love are woven together in the same relationship, it can withstand the precarious ups and downs of romantic love and even out some of that drama.” – Holiday Mathis
Fortune for the Day- “The winds of grace are always blowing; it is for us to raise our sails.” – Ramakrishna
My two middle boys belong to the same fraternity, at the same university. I am delighted that they invited me to “Moms’ Weekend”, coming up here in a few weeks. I just spent about an hour, scouring the internet and making phone calls to find the absolute, very last hotel room available, in decent proximity to the fraternity house for that weekend. Turns out, I’m going to be paying for 5-star accommodations at a 2-star hovel. I guess that it just wouldn’t be proper to crash at the fraternity house. (Was it ever proper for me to crash at a fraternity house??) It turns out that weekend also has some popular events going on in town, such as an anime convention, a food truck rally and “IndiaFest.” I have a feeling that there is going to be quite the interesting crowd in their college town that weekend. I should have a lot to write about. Stay tuned . . . .
Warning: This scene requires a very accessible box of tissues. I don’t watch the TV show “New Amsterdam”, but this scene was recommended for me to watch, by a friend. I was overwhelmed. I then passed it on to a group of friends. After watching the scene, we kind of all spontaneously told each other why we loved each other, and we all talked about things/traits/characteristics that had NOTHING to do with what we do for each other. It was a poignant, vulnerable, yet amazingly wonderful, beautiful time in our friendships’ history.
Too often we all think that we have worth in other people’s eyes, only for what we do (or can do) for them. We think we only have value for what we can provide for other people and thus, we get all of our self-worth externally, which is so unhealthy. Think about it. Often what we love most about the other important people in our lives, are their quirks, their unique personality traits that make them shine, their talents, their way they go about “doing life” that is so very particular to that one individual, yet so inspiring to the rest of us. We love and appreciate the kindness and the vulnerability that the people who we love show to us, by sharing their very real, core selves with us.
On our girls’ weekend, a few weeks ago, one of my friends said something to the effect that she has NO idea what her friends think of her. At the moment, no one was in a sappy mood, so the comment probably got met with some snarky, clever sarcasm and we all probably got a big laugh out of it all. Still, the truth is, it is so much easier to poke fun at our friends and loved ones, than to bare our souls, and to bravely tell them, honestly, why they are so incredibly special to us. But maybe, just maybe, the people whom we love, deserve to hear that lovely truth about themselves every once in a while. It would make me sad to think that my husband, my children, my relatives and my friends (and even my pets) would think that I only love them for what they do for me.
When I was a third grader, I had an incredibly kind teacher. She’s one of those teachers who will stand out to me, forever. She was a life-changer. Her name was Mrs. Simmerman. Every week, she would put one of our names on the Bulletin Board and throughout the week, we students would write anonymous, yet kind words and statements about what we thought was so special about that particular classmate. When the week was over, Mrs. Simmerman would read all of the kind, loving, interesting things written about the student and then, the student got to take home and to keep that particular poster, listing all the amazing traits about themselves. Whomever’s week it was to be focused on/loved on, seemed to have an extra spring in his or her step, and a little bit of a puffed out chest that week. Being cared about and being really noticed and seen and appreciated, made not just that particular student, but all of us students, very, very happy.
I think all of this mushy mush, is just a great reminder that we truly LOVE people for WHO they are, not just for what they do. We are all just unique enough to add a ray of life and color and thread, to this world which we are co-creating, that no one else even has the capability to match. We are all indispensable to the whole, and sometimes it is nice to be reminded why we are invaluable to this Life which we live, and we create together. As you think about why you love the people whom you love and you cherish, remember that they feel the very same way about you and your gifts to the world, in just you being, uniquely you.
Fortune for the Day – “When you possess light within, you see it externally.” – Anais Nin
I have been reading a very interesting book entitled You Can’t Afford theLuxury of a Negative Thought by Peter McWilliams. It’s one of those books that you don’t need to read cover to cover, but more so, you flip through it, for daily doses of inspiration. One of the first chapters I “flipped to” was the chapter on purpose, mostly because the cover says that this particular chapter changed Oprah Winfrey’s life. A life changer for Oprah Winfrey, has got to be an interesting read, for sure. I am still digesting what I read about what McWilliams says about purpose, so I am not sure that this chapter has altered my life just yet, but it has made me think, and think deeply and more clearly. Here are some of his thoughts on finding your purpose:
“A purpose can be summed up in just a few words. It usually begins, ‘I am . . . ‘ It’s a simple but powerful statement about why you’re here and what you are here to do.”
“You have been fulfilling your purpose your whole life, even if you don’t consciously know what your purpose is. A purpose is not a goal. . . . . a purpose is fulfilled in every moment.”
Some examples of purposes: “I am a joyful explorer.” “I am a lover of life.” “I am a servant of spirit.” “I am a giver of happiness.” “I am a servant of humanity.”
A purpose is general enough to fit many situations, but specific enough to fit you perfectly. “I am a student of life” might fit almost anyone. “I am a festive student of life” might be you.
You may want your life to go in a certain way. That is not necessarily your purpose. Statements about what you want are called affirmations. Your purpose is what you are already doing. . . A purpose indicates both movement and direction.
To discover your purpose, begin my telling yourself, “I want to know my purpose.” . . . Look back on your life. Write down the words (uplifting ones, please) that describe the activities and general thrust of your life thus far . . . . A purpose is not something that you create, it’s something you discover. . . . .Once you know your purpose, it becomes a golden divining rod. When you are wondering, “Should I do this or should I do that?” look to your purpose. . . . .Once you know your purpose, you have answered the time-honored question, “Why am I here?”
When you bring yourself more in line with your purpose – in an involved, active way – you may notice that your energy flows more freely, the blocks and the tensions in your body release, you become more active, vibrant, and alive – healthier.”
Peter McWilliams does not recommend sharing your purpose with anyone, should they cast doubts for you. Your purpose is a very personal thing. Perhaps it is best said by another wonderful writer about purpose:
Yesterday, my husband, my daughter and I swam with manatees. The one pictured above is one of many manatees who we met on our adventure. I have been wanting to swim with manatees since we moved to Florida almost nine years ago. They are the sweetest, most docile, gentle giants you could ever come across in the wild. This experience was one of my most favorite adventures in nature that I have ever experienced and I have done a lot of wandering around in nature, in my forty-nine years. What I learned from this is, don’t let your life just pass on by, without making sure you are getting everything that you want out of it. Take the time and energy and resources, to plan in the bucket list items. Life is fleeting. I forgot my little bag of fortunes, so today’s fortune comes from a manatee magnet in the gift shop:
