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Sunny Friday

Meme from BettinasCollection on Instagram

Happy Friday!!! Happy Favorite Things Friday!! I tried to kill two birds with one stone, by sharing a meme that tickled me and showing you the beautiful sunflowers which we picked at a local sunflower farm yesterday, at the same time. If you ever want to feel your soul cleansed, take a “bath” in a field of sunflowers. The sun loves these huge, gorgeous flowers, and so do the bees, and so do I. My dear friend told me about this farm that typically attracts large, eager crowds to their sunflower fields in May. This year, due to corona, the farm owners are being very stringent, requiring advanced and limited ticket purchases, strongly encouraging masks, and strictly enforcing 6 feet social distances between family groups. It was a unique experience, yet the magic was not lost. Sunflowers are my number one favorite, today. New readers, Fridays are dedicated to the frivolous and fun in life. On Fridays, at Adulting-Second Half, I typically list three favorite items, books, songs, stores, that have made my life just a little more full of life, and I ask you to share your favorites in the Comments section. Please check out previous Friday posts for more favorites.

Sunflowers are my number one favorite today. A picture says a thousand words. Sunflowers scream of huge, happy hopefulness. They aren’t necessarily sophisticated flowers, but there is probably not a more cheerful flower on the face of the planet. Nature has been my sanctuary more than ever, throughout this pandemic. The healing properties of the soft grass beneath your feet, the harmonic songs of birds, the new, bright blooms on a recently dormant plant, the meditative sound of slow, trickling water, the sun glowing through the trees, are all of the many buoyant assurances and signs that life goes on, and that life goes on optimistically and confidently and assuredly and abundantly. Nature’s constant promises are a much needed element for our robust health. Nature heals holistically. Nature quiets our minds, soothes our souls, and reminds our bodies that we all have connected roots to the whole system of Life. Let nature’s good medicine fill you up, this weekend, friends. It is strong, good medicine.

No Mo-Stache – I bought this little tin of wax strips on a whim a few months ago in Target. I guess that I have good intuition. Typically, I go to a salon for my waxing needs, but we all know the rest of that story. I’m a wimp about doing my own facial hair waxing, but this little kit is surprisingly effective, yet not incredibly painful. It also has a little packet of aloe cream, included. No Mo-Stache has been one of those unexpected, surprising gifts, through this whole virus mess.

Dakota Extra Strength Elderberry Gummies – I’ve mentioned before that I take about 800 supplements a day. Lately, my supplement intake has been geared towards tricking me into believing that my immune system is bullet-proof. (the placebo effect is stronger than you think, look it up!) These gummies are delicious. They are like gummy bears that are good for you. They have elderberry, Vitamin C, bee propolis, zinc and echinacea. I got mine on Amazon. As always, please check with your doctor first before taking any supplement. I am not a medical expert.

Funny & Happy Weekend Quotes With Images, Pictures (With images ...

The Masked Man

Image via screengrab

I don’t enjoy wearing the masks. They are uncomfortable, hot and they make me feel unfriendly. My son who lives in New Jersey, said that he saw a woman in the grocery store wearing a mask with slits cut out under her nose and her mouth. It kind of defeats the purpose, right? Still, I empathized with her. Once again, I’m in total awe of all of our essential workers, who wear the masks hours and hours, on end. The following post went viral in my local Nextdoor neighborhood social media. The person who posted it, said that she did not write it, nor did she know who to attribute it to, but I’m glad that she posted it anyway. It hits home.

“I wear a mask in public, NOT for me, but for YOU. I want you to know that I am educated enough to know that I could be asymptomatic and still give you the virus. No, I don’t “live in fear” of the virus, I just want to be a part of the solution, not the problem. I don’t feel like the “government is controlling me,” I feel like I’m being a contributing adult to society, and I want to teach others the same. The world doesn’t revolve around me. It’s not all about me and my comfort. If we all could live with other people’s consideration in mind, this whole world would be a much better place. Wearing a mask doesn’t make me weak, scared, stupid or even “controlled,” it makes me considerate. When you think about how you look, or how uncomfortable it is or what others think of you, just imagine someone close to you, a father, a mother, a grandparent, an aunt or uncle choking on a ventilator. Then ask yourself if you could have worn a mask to prevent their suffering would you have?”

I love the idea of being “considerate”. I love the idea of being “part of the solution.” We are like one worldwide team trying to conquer this horrible virus. It’s good to be reminded that we are all on the same team.

Are You Certain?

27 Best Uncertainty quotes images | Quotes, Me quotes ...

Our state of Florida is starting to open up a tad, and we are getting back to my least favorite part of parenting. We are putting limits on things, that other parents are okay with, and our kids are frustrated. We get to be “the bad guys” once again. We’ve agreed to have weekly family meetings to discuss what our current house stance is on summer jobs, outside interactions, masks, beach trips, shopping trips, restaurants, etc. It would help me more, if I felt more concretely solid about what is the right thing to do, too. We have been very fortunate to not know anyone personally who has been infected with the coronavirus. Our zip code has less than five cases of it. Like all places in the world, there are a fair amount of restless people here, wanting things to get back to “normal.” I don’t like the idea of living in fear, but I must balance that with being responsible to myself, to my family, and to my community. With the onslaught of so much information, it’s hard to know what and who to believe. There still seems to be a lot of mystery surrounding this virus. How are you all coping with this uncertainty? Feeling uncertain is admittedly my least favorite state of being. I trudge strongly forward when I feel resolute. Uncertainty kind of paralyzes me. I’m going to try to take this perspective seen below, on uncertainty. It screams “hopeful.”

Margaret Drabble - When nothing is sure, everything is possible ...

Brutally Indescribable

I was reading an article that said that the Dutch people have about 700 new words in their lexicon, all related to the coronavirus. Here is just a few of them:

Huidhonger / skin hunger: a longing for human contact while in isolationAnderhalvemetereconomie / six-feet-economy: an economy constructed to avoid spreading coronavirusHoestschaamte / cough-shame: the anxiety one may experience about possibly triggering a panic among the people nearby when making a coughing sound for whatever reasonCoronahufter / coronajerk: shopper at a supermarket or store who violates the six-foot social distance prescription or other safe-keeping protocol.Druppelcontact / spray-contact: exchange of little droplets when sneezing or coughing, esp. as source of infectionOnthamsteren / dehoarding: processing long-stored shelf-stable food into a meal.Straatschaamte / street-shame: the embarrassment someone experiences when being out for urgently necessary errands during lockdownToogviroloog / blather-virologist: dilettante who spreads false or unsubstantiated information about the virus, its transmission, or its treatment (CNN)

This isn’t a new thing. I read this in an article about how wars have brought new words and new meanings to words, into our regular, every day vernacular.

“Through wars, some words have changed or garnered new meanings while others were newly coined for specific places and things. During the Civil War, “skedaddle” became “skeet” or “scoot.”

In World War I, the word “lousy,” which was intended to describe lice infestations, came to mean weary. In the same token, “trench coat” — a jacket worn in the trenches during battle — to this day remains an iconic outerwear style. “Jeep” came from the letters “G.P.” emblazoned on the side of each general purpose vehicle used during World War II.”- (Business Insider)

Why do we create new words, particularly in hard times such as wars and pandemics?

The same article says this:

“War words are often invented to describe things that are brutally indescribable, bring humor to things that are not funny, and create designations for things that are otherwise unidentifiable.” (Business Insider)

I think that is why I love writing. It is the act of trying to describe, to put meaning to, to bring a familiar understanding, and to even bring humor out of an all-encompassing experience. Writing tries to bring order and sense and logic and description and familiarity and emotional inclusion, to any striking event in our lives. The other creative arts do the same thing. A photographer tries to capture the emotion, the beauty, the total awesomeness of one single moment. The same can be said for the works of an artist, a musician, a film maker or a dancer. The creative arts try to translate life, so that the precious moments are not forgotten. There is an argument that the minute you pin a description or a meaning or a perspective on to an experience or on to an object, you have lost the essence of just experiencing it. You have limited your experience. You have diminished the object. That may be the case, but there is still great satisfaction in trying to cage in any happening, with emotional description (which is what I think, creativity really is). The creative product is the leftover heavy pebbles, as the constant movement, of the stream of change, moves forward rapidly into the distant unknown. As travelers, we can pick up the pebbles and have a remembrance of where we have been, what we have felt. We get a small glimpse, of a standstill of one moment, of any one experience. We get to pick up a pebble, put it in our pocket, and thus, we get to keep a tiny sliver of any one particular major (or minor) experience, on our person, forever.

The Force and Garden Eels

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“How your life feels is more important that how it looks.” – Think Smarter

How is everyone feeling today, readers? I am taking another temperature check. You’ve been a little quiet out there. How’s the force within you? It is pulsating or is it a tad weak? Whatever it is, it’s okay. Do what feels best.

Silence may be as variously shaded as speech. – Edith Wharton

https://www.bbc.com/news/newsbeat-52500113?campaign_id=9&emc=edit_nn_20200504&instance_id=18202&nl=the-morning&regi_id=121107475&segment_id=26556&te=1&user_id=8d9827cde5758c7f510b01ae213d8966

I really enjoyed the above news story reported by the BBC. It turns out the Sumida Aquarium in Tokyo needed help with some interaction with its Garden Eels. Garden Eels know quite a bit about isolating, as they rarely ever leave the burrows, in the sand, that they live in. Isolation is their regular way of life. The Eels that live in the Sumida Aquarium were forgetting what humans looked like and were shyly staying buried in their burrows instead of peeking out. Their keepers were worried about them and they were having trouble monitoring the little eels’ health. Their solution to this problem? They set up iPads with cameras and asked people to come “look” at their garden eels, to keep them used to human faces and to human interaction. Watch the video. It’s strangely calming.

A sad-looking garden eel

So, my little garden eels, how are you doing really? What “takes” have you gotten from all of this isolation? Are you starting to poke your heads out a little bit more? Are you feeling scared and wanting to stay buried in the comforts of your own burrows? Whatever you are feeling, it’s all okay. And it’s all going to be okay.

Sunday Soul

Hi readers. I’m terribly sorry to be late posting today. Sundays are a big readership day for me and I appreciate that fact. I think people like poetry more than they pretend to like it. I’m late because I got myself involved in a “little” painting job this weekend. I decided to paint some window panes. The job seemed simple and painless, enough. Ha! I decided to complete the finishing touches this morning before the hot Florida sun baked even more dark bronze-y paint into my skin. I look like a leopard.

New readers, Sundays are devoted to poetry here at Adulting – Second Half. Poetry is the unedited, free-flowing sounds of our souls. I already got my creative juices out by painting this morning, so I am going to reprint a poem today, that you may have seen already. The poem has gone viral and many believed that it was written by an author during the 1919 Pandemic. Alas, this is not true. It was actually written in March of 2020 by a chaplain from Wisconsin named Kitty O’Meara. It is untitled and it is beautiful. Please add your poems (your writings or someone else’s writings) to the Comments section. Here is the lovely words of a very much alive, Kitty O’Meara:

By Kitty O’Meara
And the people stayed home.
And read books, and listened, and rested,
and exercised, and made art, and played games,
and learned new ways of being, and were still.
And listened more deeply.
Some meditated, some prayed, some danced.
Some met their shadows.
And the people began to think differently.
And the people healed.
And, in the absence of people living in ignorant,
dangerous, mindless, and heartless ways,
the earth began to heal.
And when the danger passed, and the people joined together again,
they grieved their losses, and made new choices, and dreamed new images,
and created new ways to live and heal the earth fully,
as they had been healed.

Friday! Friday! Friday!

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Happy Friday! Happy May Day! Rabbit Rabbit Rabbit!! (we’ll take all the luck we can get these days, right?) Happy Favorite Things Friday!! I’m so happy that it is Friday. Aren’t you?? As you know, I love Fridays. New readers, Fridays are light and on the surface here at Adulting – Second Half. On Fridays, I discuss three items, books, songs, beauty products etc. that have made my material life more special and I ask you to share some of your favorites in the Comments section. For more favorites, please see previous Friday posts. Here are today’s favorites:

“I Believe” by Moon Dog Mane – This song is my number one favorite for today. The other day I went for a mind-clearing drive with my convertible top down and this song came on and all at once, me, my car, my driving and all of my emotions became one with this song. I turned the volume all of the way up and I jammed. Yes, I jammed. Now, typically I think that it is a very obnoxious move when people play their music so loud, forcing everybody else to listen to their own musical tastes, and at high volume. But, at that moment, I was outpouring, and this song just felt like it was the anthem for everything that we’ve all been going through. And I needed to feel it, and I needed to share it. And happily, there were a lot of people who agreed with me, on that day. I got the thumbs up from a few motorcyclists, a couple of teenagers walking on the side of the road, some landscapers and even an old lady and her poodle. We were all jamming to this tune. I have unofficially named Moon Dog Mane’s “I Believe”, the anthem of the coronavirus situation. “I Believe” that it’s just the right song for what we are all feeling and what we are all going through. Play it right now. Bang your head, put your arms up in the air and feel the strength of the conviction that “Everything Will Be Alright!”

Lithops – These darling succulents look like tiny little colorful stones (kind of like Fruity Pebbles). Lithops originated in Africa, but I got mine from a seller on Etsy. They are tiny and they are so sweet and adorable. If you are a succulent lover, treat yourself to a little sprinkling of these little babies, to make your heart happy. I have purchased a few of my succulents from sellers on Etsy and I have never been disappointed.

How To Look Good on Video Calls | Zoom, FaceTime, Skype!

My third favorite is a great video from Angie of Hot and Flashy YouTube video fame. Hot and Flashy is a series of videos featuring helpful beauty tips, particularly for middle-aged women, and the above video is especially helpful and apropos for today’s times. Despite the fact that Angie, the creator and the host of Hot and Flashy is stunningly beautiful, she is so down-to-earth and real and honest about what she does to maintain her looks, that you can’t help but to love her and to appreciate her. With all of this time staying at home, it is a good time to experiment with your hotness and your flashiness. Own it, ladies. And have a great weekend!!!!

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The Healing

“Nobody tells you this but sometimes the healing hurts more than the wound.” – Think Smarter, Twitter

Think Smarter nailed it once again. I remember when I gave birth to my first child. He was nine pounds, which a baby that size was much less common, over twenty years ago. Of course, going into labor and giving birth to my son was quite painful, but no one prepared me for the fact that I would feel like I had been hit by a Mack truck, for a good long while afterwards. Pushing my robust baby out of me, ended up spraining my tail bone and I had to sit on a rubber doughnut for weeks. Of course, my son is worth it. I’m not complaining. He is one of the greatest joys and loves of my life. Still, when I saw the quote mentioned above, this is one of the many instances, in my life, that came to my mind, to validate it. Before my first son was born, I read a million books on childbirth, listened to a litany of frightening childbirth stories, (which any woman who has ever given birth to a baby herself, and notices a young, pregnant woman, feels a compulsion to share every gory detail), and of course, I took the requisite neighborhood Lamaze classes. Everyone focused on giving birth to the baby. All of the advice was geared towards the birth episode, which typically lasts less than one day. Not once, not ever, did I feel warned about how physically terrible I would feel after the birth, and I didn’t even have a cesarean delivery.

We’ve been wounded here with the coronavirus, folks, in a big way. The initial gash of realizing that people were dying at an alarming rate from a disease for which we have no cure for, nor protection from, and then having to quarantine for weeks on end, and all of this happening, in a time span that felt nothing short of sudden, was shocking, alarming and intense, to say the least. The initial wound of realization was overwhelming and numbing. The initial injury hit us like a sledgehammer. It still seems utterly surreal. Still, we are going to heal from this coronavirus situation. We know this. We have already started to slowly open things up, to air the wound out, and we are trying to scab over this horrible situation, a little bit, in any way that we can. We have the smartest people in the world, working 24/7 to find solutions to cure the coronavirus and all of the damaging side effects and complications, that has come with it. We are all in a state of mourning for our losses, with some of us having paid the worst price of all, but still, we shall heal. It’s just that the healing is not going to be quick and easy and painless. No real healing ever is, from any kind of major trauma. The healing from any wound or trauma, is often the hardest part.

Today, I read on the internet, a quote that said, “Enjoy the space between where you are and where you are going.” Life is mostly made of those in-between spaces. And I don’t think that we were meant to waste the in-between spaces, by wishing them away. The vast amount of healing and growth and life, happens in those in-between spaces. We just don’t notice what happens in the in-between spaces, as much, because they are not nearly as jarring and life-stopping, as the unforeseen traumas and dramas, that stop us in our tracks. The in-between spaces are lulling and less interesting than the joyous, raucous conclusions and celebrations. But what do we celebrate on graduations? We celebrate the hard work of years and years of wisdom gathering and knowledge building and a child evolving into an adult. We celebrate the in-between space, starting with the first day of kindergarten, to the last day of high school, for a senior. There’s a lot of life that happened in that in-between space. And also, a lot of experience and growth that occurred in that span of many, many years, in-between. Every birthday is really a celebration of the in-between space between birthdays. Birthdays celebrate the life that happened in the in-between space, in the time period of one year. The in-between spaces are so very important. We need to be patient and grateful for the spaces. Right now we are in an in-between space that started with a horrible virus infiltrating the world and it will end with a calming, healing conclusion. We know this. Right now our job is to live as healthfully and peacefully and patiently as we can, in this in-between space. Little do we realize, that we are currently growing, exponentially, as individuals, as families, as communities, as nations, as the world, so that when we finally get to the healing conclusion, we will have globally transformed into a wiser, stronger, more compassionate, more clear version of what we were before. That’s what healing does. Healing is not easy. But a true healing, while inevitably leaving a scar, brings about such an authentic transformation in us, that sometimes we find ourselves perhaps even a tad grateful for the initial, sharp, deep pain, that brought us around to the in-between space, which helped us to heal into our most whole, our most authentic, our most enlightened versions of ourselves .

Amma

I read on Twitter that the great Indian actor, Irrfan Khan passed away this morning after a long battle with cancer, at the age of 53. He primarily acted in Indian movies and was a Bollywood superstar, but we Americans would recognize his handsome face in movies such as Slumdog Millionaire, Life of Pi and Jurassic World. He left behind his wife and two sons, and millions of adoring fans. Apparently, in his final minutes of life he mentioned to his wife that “Amma” had come to help him to transistion. Apparently his last words were, “Amma has come to take me.” Khan was referring to his own mother.

I remember hearing the name “Amma” before, so I did some research. Here is some of the meanings that I found for the word “Amma”.

Amma means “born on Saturday” (African), “mother” (Basque), “water” (Native American) and “maid” (Arabic). (charlies-names.com)

“Amma” means “Mother” in many south Indian languages including Malayalam, Tamil, Telugu, Kannada, and also in other languages and their dialects spoken in central and northern parts of India. It means the same in some other non-Indian languages also, such as Sinhalese. (Quora)

An Amma is someone who would literally do anything for her children and grandchildren. She is someone who cannot ever be replaced,no matter what. She is someone that never gives up and fights until she wins, and she always wins. She is the strongest person that you will ever meet and if you are sick and afraid, being with her makes all your fears disappear. She is someone that God took extra time on and made to be the most amazing person on this earth. But most of all she is someone that no matter what will love you unconditionally forever. She is a superhero, our superhero. (Urban Dictionary)

Amma is also the living “hugging guru”. This cheerful, warm, guru goes around the world giving hugs to people sometimes 17 hours straight, without so much as taking a bathroom break. She has given more than 33 million hugs to date, all around the world.

Friends, if ever there was a time we needed our Amma, it is now. Find your Amma. Whether your Amma is your own mother, or your grandmother, or your auntie, or your sister, cousin, or a special teacher or a friend, or a mix of every strong, compassionate female essence, who has every touched your life, find her presence. Perhaps your Amma is Mother Earth. Perhaps she is a spirit guide that lives inside of you. Perhaps Amma is an ancient tree, who stands tall through many storms. Perhaps she is a gallant female pet who protects you fiercely and loyally. Perhaps your Amma is You. Perhaps Amma is a mix of all of these wonderful women who have comforted you and inspired you and who have loved you fiercely and unconditionally. Find your Amma in your heart, and feel her holding you tight. Feel Amma guiding you through this very difficult time in the world. Feel your Amma’s reassurance, and her soft comforting, and her soothing lulls, and her utter kindness. Allow your Amma to keep your wrapped up in a hug for the entire day and let her guide you tenderly. Feel the relief of just resting safely in your Amma’s arms and in her heart. And know that everything will be okay.