I think that a big thing about what is happening this year, is that so, so many things which we all have pushed away and swept under the pretty, little carpet, are springing out of the corners, left and right. Literally and figuratively. The carpet isn’t big enough anymore, to keep the ugly reality about some unpleasant things which we have all co-created, tamped down. The elephants in the room are charging at us, in a large herd, all at once, and we can’t help but to start talking about them, because they aren’t happy or satisfied about being ignored anymore. The elephants in the room are tired of being polite. We are all at “our pitchers are full” moments, in so many facets of our lives. There isn’t room for anything more to be held in, until we spill some of what we have been desperately containing inside of us, in order to get some relief. And this seems to be a universal thing, not just relegated to a particular race or religion or country or political party or sexual identity. We all have held too much in, for much too long, and Someone pressed the release valve. And it’s scary and it is overwhelming and it’s terrifying and we don’t know where it leads us. Still, it is necessary. In the end, it is this release that will open a cleared path, which will lead us to truth and to healing and to authenticity and to acceptance and ultimately, to the universal destination of Love.
I know that just in the little microcosm of my own family, it is painful to address our private little elephant issues. It is excruciating and fearful to lift off the dark cover of the pleasant familial rug, where a lot of feelings, and misunderstandings, and resentments, and anger, and frustration, gets swept under, and away. We often do everything that we can to avoid lifting the rug. Like my middle son says, “Oh no, we are not about to have one of those emotional family moments, are we? I hate those!” And we all agree with him. We like to stay on top of the rug, where things feel pleasant, and safe and contained and well behaved. Still when any of us in my family, either musters up the courage, or some kind of outside trigger lets the overwhelming, underlying emotions take the wheel, we are forced to pick up the rug and to really examine, and to clean, and to release, what is underneath it, if we want to remain an authentically close, and healthy family. Inevitably, even after some ferocious spewing and crying and screaming and emoting, and whimpering, and divulging, and humbling, we always feel better. Real always feels better than pretend because even though it isn’t always pretty, you can believe in “real”. Pretend is fake, and it is a poor substitute for real.
It’s only when we admit that we have a problem, that anything can ever really be done about it. We don’t always have all the right answers to solve everything that was unearthed, right in that present moment, but we aren’t dancing around and tiptoeing around, and trying to contain a growing, grumbling, sleeping giant anymore. And the relief is palpable. The anxiety and the fear that we had built up as a family, about facing and revealing the truths about our fears, and our hurts, and our broken parts, our disagreements, and our shame, and our loss for answers, is often much worse than actually dealing with the truth of our own humanity and our own vulnerability. And what we find, after the initial loud, overwhelming stampede of the ignored elephants in the room, and we all come to a quiet, whimpering, worn out, released state, is that at the core of it all, we are mostly the same, and we just love each other completely. We all just want the best for ourselves and for each other, and it hurts to hurt, and it hurts to see those who we love hurt, and we want a magic wand to fix it all. And in those curled up, raw moments when all of the elephants have been acknowledged and all of the dust-up has been exposed, is when we feel the most uncomfortable and vulnerable and unguarded. But let’s not forget, it is in these moments that the real magic can begin. The starting line has been revealed. All Life begins as a naked, fragile baby. After the greatly feared giant under the carpet, is unveiled, he is not so fearsome anymore. He is surmountable because we have looked him in the eye and we are draped in each other’s arms, staring him down, and he often disappears under the eyes of Love. Because the giant under the carpet has been exposed, and the giant is no longer unacknowledged, we quickly come to the realization that bigger than any of our problems, or our mistakes, or our individual and collective pains, is our Love for each other, and our desire for the best for all of us, as individuals and as a unit. It is in our most open, humbled moments, when we have no other choice than to love each other, and to sink into our collective embrace, admitting that we need help, that the real, cleansing miracles start to happen, in ways that we could never have imagined.
I believe this is exactly what is happening in the world right now. We are just in the ugly, scary stage of the uproarious, furious, pent-up release, which we all work so hard to avoid. We have lifted the carpet, and we have acknowledged the many elephants in the room. We have stopped pretending our perfection. And when all quiets down again, and we are all quivering, humbled, yet open to possibilities, the real miracles will be brought to light, and the world will move towards being authentically whole and healed and cleansed and shimmering in the material that makes it . . . . .Love. And if we can get honest with ourselves, in the end, that is all that any of us really want. Love.
