Thoughts for Thursday

+ I just spent the last three days completely crashing. Our son graduated from medical school over the weekend. All of our family joined us in the celebration down in South Florida and I experienced one of my best Mother’s Days ever. And then, as we headed home, the culmination of everything which my family and I have experienced over the last six months or so – engagements!, graduation, hurricanes, trip to Japan, house renovations, the loss of our Ralphie, our epic Labrador retriever, etc. etc., all on top of our predictable and normal, yet busy, every day lives, swept over me like a giant wave and so mostly, I have slept like a shell on the beach after riding the big, big wave. But the weathering has been good. The ride has been a thrill. And I am an intact, shiny shell. I am just taking a little breather in the replenishing sunshine.

+ When we were in Japan last month, we met an adorable, older Japanese couple, while we were sitting next to each other at a sushi bar in the coastal town of Odawara, and although we had a tough time with the language barrier (thank goodness for Google Translate!) we really connected with these people. The husband was a photographer and they asked for our mailing address so that they could send us one of his books. Truthfully, especially as time has gone on, I felt like we probably just had “a moment” with these lovely people and I really didn’t expect to get the book, but happily, a beautiful, and carefully wrapped package arrived yesterday from Japan. The wife handwrote us a lovely letter on delicate rice paper stationery. She wrote it in English! An excerpt from her letter: “We were not able to communicate well do to our poor English, but it was still a wonderful experience to meet you two. Although there are many difficult issues in the international situation, I believe that human interaction is the most important and valuable thing in life.” I have to say that it was very kind of her not to blame our difficult communication on our own non-existent Japanese, since we were visiting her country. What I did love most about our new friend’s letter though (besides the fact that she took the time and care to write it!) was her belief that “human interaction is the most important and valuable thing in life.” In this day and age, when so much is being pushed off on to AI (my daughter, just this morning, showed me a TikTok of people filming ridiculous, glitchy, inhuman job interviews which they were having with AI, and I was struck at how many speakers at my son’s medical school graduation spoke of the vital importance of medicine not losing its humanity, as we sit on the precipice of this AI revolution), I do hope that we remain invested in our valuable and intimate human interaction. I am a believer in progress, but I also believe in constantly balancing and measuring “progress” with our highest values. And hopefully, most of us value, however imperfect it is, our humanity. What makes someone humane? The dictionary says this: “marked by compassion, sympathy, or consideration for humans or animals” and “showing benevolence” and “wanting to alleviate suffering”. We, as humans, are able to show compassion and sympathy and empathy, only because we, ourselves, understand what suffering feels like, not just on a supposed, described, intellectual level, but at the deeper level of emotion and actual experience. We, as humans, must remain sensitized. We must remain sentient. We are not robots. We are not flat. We are not one-dimensional. We are difficult, messy, mercurial, emotional, erratic, hopeful, perceptive, deeply feeling, curious creatures and that is what makes life full and robust and interesting and teeming with energy and existence. May we never lose our ALIVENESS.

+ I read an article this morning about menopause by Carley Hauck in a publication called Super Age. This is how she defines menopause: “Menopause is a profound transition that asks us to slow down and listen to the body’s wisdom. To restore what’s been depleted. To reclaim parts of ourselves long buried under roles, responsibilities, or expectations. And ultimately, to rise stronger, wiser, and more whole into the next chapter of life.” I’ve never seen a better definition of menopause than this. No wonder why the word “pause” is in menopause. All you ever hear about menopause is negative or jokey or confusing. I liken menopause to my allegory of being a resting shell on the beach, soaking in the sun. Restoration from depletion. Listening. Honoring our bodies. Taking the pause, before rising again, stronger and wiser and whole, and fully ready to ride the next waves of our lives.

Are you passing on love or are you passing on pain? Heal your pain and pass on love.