I’m sorry that I’m delayed with my post this morning, but I was having a lot of fun with one of my most favorite people in the whole wide world. We spent some time outside with my dogs in the nice, cooler weather. We lit candles all around the house, did some reading, and even attempted a few chores. We contemplated different things that we could do this weekend that sounded interesting and unique, and we did a little meditation on recent happenings. We watered some of my plants and kind of just dibbled-dabbled around. Who is this adored companion I am talking about? Myself.
“The most important relationship in your life is the relationship you have with yourself. Because no matter what happens, you will always be with yourself.” – Diane Von Furstenberg
I love being with myself. I also adore being with my husband, and my kids and my family and my friends. I look forward to a Family FaceTime tonight, and I had a wonderful time socializing in my art class yesterday with our brilliant, inspiring instructor and the other interesting students. But honestly, I couldn’t wait to have this wonderful day to be just with myself.
Now this may seem arrogant to some people. But stop and ponder why this should be. Shouldn’t you love your own companionship? Shouldn’t you be as kind and nurturing and accepting of yourself as you are to anyone else in this world? Shouldn’t you encourage yourself to explore your own unique interests without judgments or interruptions? Shouldn’t you give yourself some rapt attention and be delighted by what you discover? There is no escaping yourself, ever, so shouldn’t you make yourself, the most wonderful, delightful person to be with in your own one life?
If you don’t like being by yourself, ask yourself why. Are you kind to yourself? Are you nurturing to yourself? Or are you just harsh and full of inner criticisms? Are you constantly seeking “to find yourself” in your outside roles, or your appearances, and/or from approval and accolades from others? Why would you give your power away like that, to things that are so fickle and meaningless? Your image is just a reflection, and that reflection changes with whomever is peering at you with their own skewed lenses of perspective. When you are with just yourself, do you try to escape from yourself with food or drink or constant scrolling or endless TV shows or phone calls? We all need some escapism, but if you are always trying to escape from yourself, ask yourself why.
What does a perfect date with yourself look like? What does that include? When we are married people, we are told to keep regular “date nights” in order to keep things fresh, and interesting, and enlivening, and to use these date nights to give undivided attention to each other and to our relationship. Are you scheduling enough date nights with yourself? It is time to make sure that your calendar has some space for the most important person in your life – you. If you still think that this sounds selfish and arrogant, try it as an experiment. For the rest of the year, make sure you have at least one date with just yourself, at least once a week. I am certain that you will find that if you regularly nurture your own relationship with yourself, all of your other relationships will be better and more fulfilling than ever because they won’t be needy, hungry transactions, but instead you will be mutually sharing the beautiful, overwhelming joy and understanding of what it is to be alive, experiencing a miraculous lifetime on this Earth.
Are you passing on love or are you passing on pain? Heal your pain and pass on love.