credit: Positive Call, Twitter
I just showed this meme (above) to my husband and he mentioned that he thinks a lot of kids these days seem to think that they should be starting at Chapter 20. (yes, he and I have become the old, know-it-all cranks, whom we told ourselves we would never become. 😉 )
The beauty of getting older is reflecting on all of the chapters behind you to see how they shaped who and where you are today. This meme is the epitome of showing that it is always, always about the journey and never really about the destination. (I mean, we still don’t know how the Bezos/Amazon story ends yet, do we?) The destination is just something to aim towards, but the journey is where the all of the experiences happen. The journey (also known as the chapters of our lives) are all of the ups and downs, the adventures, the heartaches, the happenings, the experiences of our lifetime that chisel away at who we are becoming, throughout our entire lives. Why would anyone want to skip to Chapter 20? You would miss out on everything that made you. You would miss out on all of the explanation and understanding of how you even got to Chapter 20. You would miss out on being at Chapter 20, and being able to look back fondly at Chapter 1, and notice how Chapter 1 is innocently filled with high hopes, and impossible dreams, and vivid visions, and smile to yourself, to see how far you have come. There is something extremely special and satisfying about reveling in everything that it took to get you to Chapter 20.
When I am reading an excellent book, or watching a wonderful movie, I never want it to end. No matter how good the ending ends up being, I’m always a little disappointed. I’m sad that the experience is over. Excellent chapters make you want to experience a never-ending story. None of us know when it will be the final chapter of our own book, so we should just savor the chapters while we are in them. And the truth is, none of us can be entirely sure that there actually is a last chapter . . . .
Are you passing on love or are you passing on pain? Heal your pain and pass on love.
There is always a final chapter, but you are correct, we may not have the opportunity to write it ourselves. This week marked the 4-year anniversary of my father-in-law’s passing, and I can’t believe it’s been that long. He was the most independent person that I have personally known. He truly did not care what anyone thought about him, and he did exactly what he wanted to do, the way he wanted to do it, and in his own timing. During the 30+ years of our relationship, he and I butted heads more times than I can count. To say that he was “difficult” is an understatement.
But when his brain was overpowered by dementia, all of that feisty zest for life evaporated. I was his primary caregiver, and through that experience I saw another side to his story. And I developed another side to my story as a result of my experiences in caring for him.
Much to everyone’s surprise, he didn’t get to write the ending to his story. He was so strong and ornery – everyone who knew him figured that he’d go down in a blaze of glory. He believed it too. But that’s not how it happened.
My takeaway is that no matter where we are in life, whether we’re on chapter two or chapter twenty-two, there is a reason for us to be there. We are meant to learn something from every experience, and it’s up to us to integrate that lesson into our lives and become a better person for it. If I could speak to him on the other side, I would want to know what wisdom his soul gained from that end-of-life experience. My guess is that we will meet again at some point in this evolution, and he will share that knowledge with me, and I will become better for knowing it.
Kelly, this is so beautiful. I am so happy to hear from you! Thank you for sharing.
So, so true! Sending this along to my babies.
P.S. Just listened to Gerry Cinnamon’s “Canter.” Thanks for expanding my world and introducing me to them. (Love the accents, too.)
Gail, I love your curiosity! I think we are akin that way. 🙂