“Why You Should Get Used To Being Misunderstood:
If we say what we want, we will be called aggressive. If we people please or appease, we will be called selfish because it’s never enough.
If we place a boundary, people won’t honor them or will violate them. If we have no boundaries, we’ll drown as we try to meet everyone’s expectations.
If we follow a path that’s not traditional, we’ll be told it’s risky or it won’t work out. If we do what’s expected of us, there will still be people who critique how we do it.
If we have the courage to share our gifts with the world, there will be people who would prefer us to be silent.
If we stay in our comfort zone, we live with the regret of “what if I would have…”
If we decide to break the cycle, there will be people who label us as the problem.
If we stay in dysfunction, the connection and love we receive there will always come with conditions.
If we outgrow relationships, some people will feel abandoned in the process. If we stay in relationships we’ve outgrown, new versions of ourselves won’t be accepted.
The only answer really is to live a life that’s authentic to us and allow people to misunderstand us in the process
Because they will anyway.” – Dr. Nicole LePera, @Theholisticpsyc (Twitter)
I usually make Monday posts on the blog, light, short and funny. (I like to just ease into my week.) However, today I’m feeling a little more verbose. And if you think that I am verbose and prolific, then you need to check out Dr. Nicole LePera on Twitter and/or Instagram. Dr. LePera freely gives out a plethora of helpful, insightful, meaningful, direct, easy to understand “therapy” on a daily basis. I highly recommend reading her stuff. She has given me so much food for thought. I agree with Dr. LePera’s platitudes about 98 percent of the time and even when she is saying things that “I already know”, the daily reminders are so helpful and useful. I found the thread which she recently wrote on making true apologies and amends to be so excellent that I decided to send it to our immediate family text chat because lately I think that our family has been a little lax in that area with each other. (This action of mine got “ignored”, or met with mixed reviews, but the seed has been planted . . .)
As much as I appreciate Dr. LePera’s insights, over the weekend she posted a thread about “forgiving” her younger self for all of the mistakes she had made throughout her lifetime. It was a beautiful thread and I think that forgiving yourself is key for a healthy mindset, but I also think that Dr. LePera should have taken it a step further to thank her younger self for having the guts and gumption to venture into life without all of the accumulated wisdom she has acquired throughout her life, from her studies and from her experiences. Do elite athletes like Michael Jordan have to forgive their younger selves for not being the amazing players that they eventually became, from the get-go? Is anyone an expert at anything from the starting gate? The seeds of talent and desire may be there, but the seeds have to be nurtured and grown, and usually this “seed nurturing” in anyone’s life starts out by some pretty young, naive, inexperienced farmers (our younger selves), who are learning as they go. Of course we young farmers make mistakes! It would be weirder if we didn’t! And we’ve all had to grow the seeds of our lives in all different terrains, with all sorts of unique weather, and conditions, and toxicities. Honestly, what’s more impressive – a naive little seedling that makes it through a big storm, or a hearty tree that is firmly rooted and has the knowledge and ability to rely on the experience of making it through many storms?! We need to thank those little seeds who were us for having the guts to give it all a try, without much knowledge, training and experience to go on. We need to thank the younger versions of ourselves for overcoming our fears in order to be willing to try all of the experiences that have molded us into ourselves today. The younger versions of ourselves helped us to evolve and to become who we are today, right at this very moment. Ponder this: We are currently, right at this moment, the younger versions of ourselves, who ten years down the line, we will be simultaneously forgiving and thanking, all at the same time.
Perhaps all that life really is, is growing from seedling into hearty trees, reaching into the skies of our adventures, constantly learning as we go. Isn’t this action best done with big dollops of forgiveness and gratitude for ourselves, and for others, as we co-create this beautiful, mysterious forest of our shared world?
Are you passing on love or are you passing on pain? Heal your pain and pass on love.
