Month: May 2022

The Marathon

I recently said to my husband, “I feel like we are about to cross the finish line of a major marathon.” He said to me, “Well, we have been parenting for 26 years.” (Our eldest son turned 26 in April, and for those of you non-runners like me, who for the longest time thought that those stickers on cars that state “26.2” perhaps referred to a Bible verse, the stickers actually refer to the fact that a marathon is 26.2 miles long.)

Today is my daughter’s high school graduation. She is the youngest of our four children and she is our only girl. She has opted to start college in the summer, so in about a month, this empty nest thing will truly be our reality. When I am not feeling curiously numb about this graduation ceremony soon to happen, I feel this:

pride/shock/awe/sadness/happiness/confusion/clarity/relief/exhaustion/vitality/excitement/fear/emptiness/fullness/curiosity/wonder/reminiscence/hilarity/anticipation/gratefulness/longing/protectiveness/faith/hope/love/love/love/love/love/love/love

and all of this is happening in rapid fire succession, or perhaps these emotions are actually happening all at once. I really don’t know. Some experiences cannot be put into words, as hard as I try.

This is what I do know, though. This marathon has been completely and totally worth it. This marathon has been, and will always be, the most important, meaningful race of my life. I honestly had no way of preparing for what it would mean to be tasked with getting four amazing souls safely from babyhood into their adulthoods, but I kept my stride. I stumbled here and there, but I always kept on going. I caught my breath, and I kept on going. I kept the pace. And I held the hand of my husband, throughout it all, and so together, today, we will cross this finish line completely tied. It won’t even be a photofinish. We will do this crossing over the finish line together, completely as one, just like we did at the starting line, a little over 26 years ago.

“Of all the races, there is no better stage for heroism than a marathon.” – George Sheehan

“Ask yourself: ‘Can I give more?’ The answer is usually: ‘Yes’.”– Paul Tergat

“When you run the marathon, you run against the distance, not against the other runners and not against the time.” -Haile Gebrselassie

21 Awesome Running Motivational Quotes For Your Next Run

Are you passing on love or are you passing on pain? Heal your pain and pass on love.

Squisito Friday

580 FRIDAY ideas in 2022 | its friday quotes, happy friday quotes, happy friday

Happy Friday!! Happy best day of the week!!! On Fridays, I give “the deep feels” a break, and I just try to have some light-hearted fun. On Fridays, I discuss “favorites” – the tactile, sensory things in life which make our lives such an interesting experience. Please check out previous Friday postings for some more of my favorites, and please share some of your own favorites in my Comments section.

Today’s favorite comes from another favorite of mine, which also comes from another favorite of mine. The Fresh Market (one of my favorite grocery stores) creates a $25 dollar family dinner deal (one of my favorite bargains) every single week, and this week’s meal featured a delicious dessert. Matilde Vicenzi Tesoro Chocolate Cream Filled Puff Pastry (they also come in vanilla cream) is incredibly delicious. I could eat a whole package in one sitting and still beg for more. Supposedly the Vicenzi family has been making pastries in Italy since 1905. Obviously, to be in business this long, they know what they are doing. If you don’t have a wonderful Fresh Market around you, I feel sad for you. Still, you can order these delicious Vicenzi delicacies on Amazon, or you can find them at the World Market. Squisito!!!!

Have a wonderful weekend!!!

Are you passing on love or are you passing on pain? Heal your pain and pass on love.

Money Talks

“Money never made me, those broke days did.” – Tupac

I know that the recent stock market corrections and the crypto crashes and inflation has everyone feeling a little jittery. I understand. As I have stated before, my family and I were “the poster kids” for the last Great Recession. We checked every box – layoff, totally drained savings, high debt, overvalued house, etc. etc. It was one of the most scary, trying times of my life and yet it was also one of the most freeing, defining moments of my life, all at the same time. I would say, that the particular moments right around the time when I was about to turn 40, were the moments when I finally got really pure and clear and real and aware of myself, and my wants, my needs and what really mattered to me and to the future of our family. It was a time in my life when I noticed just how much I had lived my adult life with invisible chains of following other people’s expectations, without knowing too much about my own desires, and wants and needs. I know that it is a cliché, but I say this earnestly and honestly, those trying, painful moments ended up being some of the best, awakening moments to pivot our family’s life into what WE really wanted to experience going forward, in the shaping of our of family’s legacy. And this last decade of my life has been one of my absolute favorites of all of my 51 years (not always the easiest, but easily the most honest and fulfilling and interesting and exciting). My family has had so much quality time together, and amazing adventures, and a feeling of comfort and security and realness, like we never had before. We live uniquely and authentically and I pray that this trend continues. It is the only way to live fully and intentionally, in my humble opinion.

Many years ago, when we were just starting out with our family, we had a babysitter who would watch our eldest son (our only child at the time) on occasions when we would go out, just as a couple. She was the only babysitter we employed at the time, being a lovely, sweet, reliable teenager from a working class family. During this time, her family ended up winning millions in the lottery. (She still babysat for us after that time, but she did order in a lot of good dinners while she would babysit.) I remember distinctly running into our babysitter’s father in the grocery store a few months after they had won the lottery, and I remember him saying that the best part of winning the money, wasn’t retiring early, or going on frequent trips to Disney World, or the new giant home that they now lived in, but more so, the best part of winning the lottery for him, was the feeling of security that he had, which he had never had experienced before in his lifetime. About a decade ago, our sweet little babysitter was now all grown up, and she befriended me on Facebook. She was married with kids and we filled each other in on the news of our families. Sadly, it turned out that her parents had ended up divorcing, and later, her father and her brother had been killed in a four-wheeling accident. Security, my friends, is a relative thing. If you can make peace with the fact that “total security” is pretty much an illusion, and you can move past the fears that this thought brings up for you, you can live in pure freedom and in awe-filled awareness of every single, precious, breathing moment left in your lifetime.

I’m going to end today’s blog post with some of the best money advice which I have ever heard. I’ve made my four children watch this particular scene, more than once. It is crass with a capital “C”, so if you can’t stand the F-word, don’t watch it (the f-bomb is used liberally in this scene). This is a scene from an otherwise mediocre film called The Gambler:

My Favorite Awesome Money Quotes - Corporate Monkey, CPA

Are you passing on love or are you passing on pain? Heal your pain and pass on love.

Ups and Down

It struck me the other day that I have lived long enough to see plenty of the amazing, fresh new things on the market, later become worn and tired relics. In other words, I am old enough to have experienced many whole life cycles of many, many ideas and products. This came to mind out of nowhere. For some reason I started remembering back in the early 1990s, when I was a textbook salesperson. (Yes, that position is a real thing. A textbook salesperson goes into professors’ offices and tries to convince the professor to adopt their publisher’s textbook, so that the 8000 kids taking Introduction to Biology, will have to purchase said textbook. Don’t hate me.) Anyway, back then, “email” was the new thing. Most of my professors whom I called on, still preferred receiving telephone calls and voicemail messages. They did not even look at their “emails.” A few “cutting edge” professors started insisting on emails only. Nowadays, it seems like email is only slightly more of an upgrade to snail mail. We all have a million examples of this. Technology is changing so quickly, even our twenty-something kids have experienced a few product lifecycles of something going from “latest and greatest” to graveyard in the wink of an eye.

In my readings this morning I was reminded that acceptance is not consenting and approving, but more so, an awareness of the way things are in a moment. Acceptance is a detached noticing of what is happening. Acceptance is being fully aware of “what is.” When I find myself getting curmudgeonly about they way things are changing in my lifetime, and I stubbornly start sticking my feet into the sand, I am reminded that nothing remains “the it” thing/person/way of being/way of doing things, for long, especially these days. Having been at a Disney amusement park recently, I was reminded of what it is like to be on their imaginative thrill rides. Entering into the ride car, you realize that the whole ride and experience is really just made-up, creative, imaginative fun, despite how realistic these rides now seem to be. You get on the ride, and you surrender to the experience, trying to soak it all in – the feelings, the sensations, the thrills, the fears, all the while, never taking the ride too seriously. In the end, you know that you will get off of the ride, and everything will be okay. You have the expectation that you will arrive safely back to normal. Perhaps there is an analogy here?

S A Roller Coaster Life Quotes. QuotesGram

Are you passing on love or are you passing on pain? Heal your pain and pass on love.

The End

An illustration in two panels. The first is labeled, "The strength we're taught to admire" and shows someone getting to the top of a mountain and saying, "I did it!" The second is labeled, "The strength we should also admire" and shows someone pulling themselves out of a dark pit and saying, "I did it."

I love this visual. Honestly, the times that I’ve had to climb myself out of holes were a whole lot more daunting, but ultimately, a whole lot more satisfying and confidence building, than just climbing up a hill. I think that this illustration also reminds us that we aren’t all starting at the same starting lines in life. Some people have to climb up rocky cliffs, just to get to the base of the mountain.

Later this morning, my husband and I will be signing our updated wills, and other end-of-life paperwork. Our attorney assures us that this means that we will live forever. “Look at the news! Did you ever notice that it is only the people without insurance whose houses flood?” she quipped (and then handed us our invoice). We have been meaning to get this paperwork updated for quite some time, but when my mother-in-law became quite ill last summer (she’s much better now, thankfully) and there was a scramble for paperwork, it became evident to us that this chore needed to be moved up a few notches on the to-do list. I only bring up this morbid tidbit because I saw this quote over the weekend which was a real gut puncher to me:

“Everyone in your life will have a last day with you and you don’t even know when it will be.” – Poem Heaven (Twitter)

Wow. What if every time you were with someone, you thought, is this what I would want their lasting impression of me to be? And this doesn’t always imply death. Think of all of the people from your past whom you no longer associate with in your life. They’ve had their last day with you. Did this last day represent your true and earnest self? Was this last day petty or pure? Unfortunately, it is usually our final moments that leave “lasting impressions.”

I realize that I may be coming off as somewhat of a Debbie Downer this morning. I don’t want this to be your impression of me. Ever. I am a seeker. I am always trying to find the meaning in the meaningless. I am always trying to clean up my view on things. I like to clear the brush and dance in the sunshine. Do know this. I appreciate you. I am grateful for you being here for me. I appreciate writing to you, and communing with you, versus just putting my words out into some void. I love you, my readers. Have a fantastic day!

Are you passing on love or are you passing on pain? Heal your pain and pass on love.

Monday – Funday

Image

I am feeling a little “deep” this Monday. It must be the eclipse or the fact of my youngest child’s looming high school graduation. As Rumi, the wonderful poet said (back in the 1200s, no less), “Life is a balance between holding on and letting go.” Timeless. As Carl Sagan said, “Magic.” I think that Rumi’s quote is the very definition of creating a loving, warm, happy family – finding that just right balance of “holding on and letting go.” It isn’t easy. Balancing anything takes concentration, stamina, and determination and desire.

Another quote I read yesterday that stuck to my heart was this quote from Alex Winter about the recent death of the actor, Fred Ward. “He always elevated the films he was in.” Isn’t that a wonderful thing to notice and to say about someone? Is this perhaps a wonderful goal for anyone to achieve? What if your goal was to be an elevation of whatever situation you are in, at any time? “He or she always elevated the life he or she was living.” Can you imagine what this world would look like if we all just tried to elevate ourselves in any situation which we find ourselves being in, on a daily basis?? I like to believe that if we all tried to do this, we would see a lot less of the pain and horrors that have become a staple of our everyday news.

I’m sorry to turn what is often a silly day on my blog into “Deep Thoughts”. I’ll close with a laugh, how about that? Here is one of Jack Handey’s best deep thoughts:

Before you criticize someone, walk a mile in their shoes. That way, you'll be a...

Are you passing on love or are you passing on pain? Heal your pain and pass on love.

Soul Sunday

Sundays are devoted to poetry on the blog. Poetry is the music and mystery of our hearts. Lately I have been publishing other people’s poetry. With our daughter, who is the youngest of our four children, about to graduate from high school next week, I’ve been keeping the box around my heart, a little more tightly locked. I find poetry to be the most emotional form of writing and I’m not quite ready to unlock the box and let my emotions flow out torrentially, just quite yet. So instead, in the spirit of being on our road trip, I looked up poems about travel and I really liked this one:

Enjoy a beautiful Sunday, friends! Live the poetry of your heart.

Are you passing on love or are you passing on pain? Heal your pain and pass on love.

Preview

“Imagination is everything. It is the preview of life’s coming attractions.” – Albert Einstein

My daughter and I were just in the elevator with an adorable little girl and her father, at the hotel where we are all staying. She had on a fancy, frilly little violet bathing suit, the kind that I loved to buy for my daughter when she, herself, was a little girl. I asked the little girl if she had gone swimming. “Yes!” she proclaimed with a big smile on her face. “Did you have fun?” I asked her. “Yes!!” she exclaimed even louder and with an even bigger smile on her face.

“Honey,” her father said quizzically. “We haven’t even gone to the pool yet.”

We all giggled a little as the father explained that he and his wife were “mean parents” making their daughter eat her breakfast first.

I said to him, “In her mind, she has already had a wonderful time swimming.”

I’ve seen it again and again in my own life, in the lives of my family members and in the lives of my friends. If you can imagine it, it can, and it often will come into fruition. Even Einstein, it seems, believed in the law of attraction.

I was recently reminded of the old adage that worry is like praying for what you don’t want. For every worry that you let slip into your mind, force yourself to imagine a possibility. Imagine the delight of swimming and playing and laughing and jumping around in a big, luxurious, fancy hotel pool filled with clean, pure, clear, refreshing water of just the perfect temperature, before you have even enjoyed a delicious, delightful breakfast. And then, smile really big. Because with your amazing, beautiful, imaginative mind, you will have the delight of enjoying this pleasure as many times as you want, before you actually even do it.

Are you passing on love or are you passing on pain? Heal your pain and pass on love.

Ring, Ring, It’s Friday!

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Good morning! Happy Friday!! Happy Favorite Thing Friday!! I’m not going to write a lot today. I am currently with one of my favorite people in the world, my daughter, and we are adventuring, which is one of my all-time favorite things to do. Last night I experienced one of my favorite feelings – the giddiness of happy people from all over the world, convening happily together. (We are currently at one of the “happiest places on Earth.” 😉 ) Whether or not it truly is behind us, the pandemic felt like a giant afterthought last night, and it was wonderful. It was a healing moment.

Today’s favorite of mine is a phone game which I play all of the time when I need to get my mind off of things. I usually go to sleep after playing it for a while and it helps to lull me into a peaceful, healing sleep. The game is called Rings, and it is a mix of tic tac toe and color matching and for some reason it is one of the most satisfying games which I have ever played on my phone. It is the only phone game that I haven’t bored of yet. Download it today. You won’t regret it.

Have a wonderful, free spirited, happy weekend!!!

Are you passing on love or are you passing on pain? Heal your pain and pass on love.

Scrapbooks and Cherries

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My daughter and I are headed on a mother/daughter road trip this weekend, starting today. My daughter turned eighteen in March, and she is starting college early this June. We have been planning this getaway for a while, just the two of us. I never believed in raising your kids like they were your friends. My husband and I definitely leaned a little towards the strict side when raising our four children. In retrospect, I think that is why it has been so easy to become friends with them now, as we are all adults. There is a mutual respect. They are all adults whom I really like, and whom I find interesting and fun to be with. And by the excitement which my daughter has shown for this trip, she must feel the same way about me. This feels wonderful. Like Brooke Hampton states in the quote above, I am going to be adding another page in the “scrapbook of me” this weekend. And it could likely end up being one of those pages which I turn to again and again, to relive the fun memories in my mind. And while my daughter and I have a lot of fun destinations we plan to go to, and to explore each day, the entire journey is really made up of all of the little stuff: the songs we will sing along to on the ride, the giddiness we felt while planning and anticipating the trip, and the funny little anecdotes that will happen that we could never have planned on experiencing. I think this is why trips are so great. Trips are really a microcosm of all of our own lives’ adventures. We decide to become mothers, so we get pregnant or we adopt a baby, and mothering is all that we experience on the long and windy road to getting our children securely to their adulthoods. We decide to become our career choices, so we apply to schools, and we learn the lessons and the skills of the trade we want to do, and we take our first jobs, and once again, the real experience is the journey of where our jobs and careers take us. The final destination of anything in life, is always just the small delightful cherry on top of it all. And we savor the cherry. We chew it up, soak up the juices, and then we quickly tend to start all over again, planning a new destination to achieve, because the adventures which take us to our chosen destinations are really what life is all about.

120 Best Quotes About Journey and Destination - Quotesjin

Are you passing on love or are you passing on pain? Heal your pain and pass on love.