“They’re just not you, Kid.” – @TheNostalgicCo, Twitter
The other day, I wrote a long, heartfelt email to an author about the difference her book (which is now out-of-print) made to me recently. The author is now in her late seventies, but still has an active website. To say that I was surprised by her response, would be an understatement.
“Who are you? Are you a real person? Are you some kind of telemarketer? Anyway, thanks. Maybe I’ll activate my book back up on Amazon.”
That’s all she wrote.
I understand that today’s society puts up a lot of roadblocks, in order for us to be able to trust each other. I also understand that this author is aging and may be going through mental challenges caused by her aging process. In short, I understand that her response has everything to do with her, and nothing to do with me. And my disappointment in her response, is all on me. My expectations are not credos for her to meet.
Along these same lines, my friend’s daughter was recently going through some real angst with some mean girls, in her freshman dorm in college. It was shocking the level of immaturity and cruelty that college-aged women still stoop to, especially in this day and age of careful, cancel culture. Actually, maybe it isn’t shocking. We mothers all agreed that we all know 50-year-old women who still behave like petty Betty, mean girls. And these vipers tend to raise mini-me mean girls, and the cycle continues on and on.
“They’re just not you, Kid.”
They all can’t be you. Only you can be you. Only you can raise yourself to the highest potential of your own best self. How others choose to respond to your growing and to your expanding and to your leveling up, is their business, their problem, their stuff. It has nothing to do with you. You be you. You surround yourself with those people who get you, respect you, honor you, and love you. You surround yourself with people who are for you, not against you. Send the rest on their merry way.
“They’re just not you, Kid.”
You are special stuff.
Are you passing on love or are you passing on pain? Heal your pain and pass on love.
Hey Kelly,
Reading your message, I felt so sad for you and for a missed opportunity by that author, and like you said, there could be other reasons why she reacted that way. Sometimes our feelings are only worthy of us, and those who love us. Unfortunately, when experiences happen like that, we tend to want to pull back and then be very careful who we share deep feelings with again, and that is sad. I liked your response, They’re just not you, kid. Having been in similar situations, because I tend to speak what is on my heart, I’ve learned to just continue to share those deep sentiments because the next time, you want to share yourself like that, the recipient may need to hear what you have to say, more than you need to say it.
Have you ever read, God’s Guest List, by Debbie Macomber?
She writes mostly fiction, but has written a few non-fiction books which I thought were very interesting, and the one above changed my thoughts about the people I think are important in my life, and the people God thinks are important in my life. (Your message made me think of this book.)
I have not read that one, Joan. Thank you! It’s going in queue. I thought about you today when we were decorating for Christmas. I put out the lovely Gorham nativity scene you got us for our wedding, many years ago. So beautiful, like you!
Wow! Have to say that brought a tear to my eye…
So many years ago…and today you remembered me from that present….life gives us gifts sometimes, and your message is one of them for me.
Thank you!
Sending lots of love!