(D)anger

I have sciatica that has been acting up lately, particularly on my left side. I’ve been doing stretches. I have tried massage and acupuncture and ibuprofen. What I haven’t admitted to myself is how much I have the tendency to repress my anger. Repressed anger often manifests itself in our hips.

It’s easier for a lot of us (especially us women types) to admit that we are sad, than to admit that we are angry. Anger sometimes gets labeled as “a bad emotion.” When anger is used to lash out at others, it can be scary and dangerous and ruinous. Therefore, we often repress our own anger, in order to “protect” ourselves and others. However, when we repress anger, these angry feelings end up hurting us deeply, in internal, physical ways. Also, ironically, the build-up of pressure from angry feelings that we are trying to keep inside, makes it more likely for us to have uncontrolled damaging outbursts that we regret, leading to the vicious cycle of continuing to deny and to repress our anger.

Sometimes we are not actually angry at any particular person. We can have anger about situations that aren’t in our control, such as the pandemic. We can feel angry at ourselves for not doing, or saying something, that we wish we had done. We can have a lot of stored up anger in our bodies, starting from the times when we were very young children.

In order to be healthy in mind, and body, and spirit, we have to feel all of our feelings, and then we have to let them go. Anger scares us. It makes us feel out of control and despicable, so anger is often, one our most suppressed feelings. Nonetheless, there are safe ways to express our anger, but first we must admit to ourselves that our anger even exists. Anger is an emotion full of energy, so finding a private place to scream, or to hit something safe, like a pillow, or to have a private tantrum/meltdown are all ways to release anger, in a healthful way. Taking a brisk walk or run, keeping a journal, and being present with your thoughts which are causing your anger, and perhaps challenging the validity of these thoughts with a different perspective, are all ways to process anger safely. The bottom line, is it is important to allow yourself to acknowledge, and to feel your anger, or it will inevitably cause bigger problems in life, in regards to your precious bodily health, and your meaningful relationships.

Are you passing on love or are you passing on pain? Heal your pain and pass on love.