“Wanting to be liked can get in the way of the truth.” – Delia Ephron
I really liked this quote when I read it. In today’s “cancel culture”, I think that it applies more than ever. I think what I worry the most about all of this cancelling, is that it will stop fruitful conversation. It will stop people from earnestly trying to get to the core of pure truth, with honest and open conversation. The people whom I trust the most in the world, aren’t always my favorite people. The people whom I trust most in this world, don’t hide their truths. They say things exactly as they see it. They live their truths. They don’t apologize for being themselves. There is nothing sneaky, or manipulative or covert about these types of people. You can trust this “what you see is what you get” quality about them. It’s a solid way to be. It’s a brave way to be.
Now my truly favorite people in the world are the people who I described above, who also have a big heaping spoonful of open-mindedness to go along with their honest suredness. Though they feel comfortable and solid with their own point of views on things, they are curious about others’ views. They start “touchy” conversations, not with an intention of stirring the pot, nor to stuff their own opinions down other people’s throats, but with a real desire to learn and to understand where the other person is coming from. They are open enough to test their own “truths”, by exploring other people’s ideas and perspectives. Seeking truth is a lifetime activity for these people. They aren’t afraid to be “wrong” about something. These people are strong, but pliable. The strongest, most hardy plants in the world have many cells called collenchyma. Collenchyma cells are what allows plants to be flexible and strong, all at the same time, in order to withstand winds and storms. I wonder if my most favorite people in the word, have their own secret store of collenchyma cells, helping them to be strong, rooted, open and pliable, all at the same time.
What worries me most about our current “cancel culture”, is that it will make people “too careful”, and too “under the cuff”. I think that we may end up losing a lot of authenticity and variety in our society, if we make people too afraid to be themselves. We will lose real understanding and progression, because we won’t know exactly what we are really dealing with at the base of anyone, anymore. What anyone thinks about anything will be kept under a cloak of secrecy, in order to be accepted and liked. Crimes and meanness need to have big consequences, of course, but lesser crimes and misunderstandings sometimes just need a gentle nudge in a different direction. These nudges won’t happen if everyone is operating under invisible cloaks. Cloaks need to be opened in order to let the light of wisdom and understanding stream into anyone’s consciousness.
I’d much rather have a wide variety of choice in my own one precious life, as to what to read, what to watch, where to go and what to experience, what to wear, what to hear, what to buy, than to have all of these choices whittled down to some “acceptable”, bland sameness. I trust my own choices. I don’t want my choices to be made for me. I don’t want your choices to be made for you. I want to know YOU, not the surfacey mask and cloak that you wear. I want to grow and learn from YOU, not what has been programmed into you, at any particular stage of your life by polite society. Most importantly, I don’t want to lose ME. I think any individual life’s purpose is to fully explore that deep core beingness, of our own selves. Cloaks off. We are strong enough to handle discernment, tolerance, vulnerability, variety and authenticity. We are strong enough to handle Truth. Maybe the Truth is that we are all just really made of the same stuff – Love. Let’s try to look through the lens of that Love in all of our interactions. Love can’t be destroyed. Love can’t be cancelled.
Are you passing on love or are you passing on pain? Heal your pain and pass on love.