July 2021 - Adulting: Second- Half

Just Bloom

I’ve mentioned on the blog that I love my plants and jardinière. Yesterday evening, I looked over at my lovely figurehead lady, who has probably adorned our lanai for at least seven or eight years. (And in that time, she sure has weathered some storms.) She has housed a few different plants during all of these years, but never, ever, has her hat of flowers looked more fabulous and ornate and celebratory than right now. I smiled because it reminded me of a news story I read recently. An 82-year-old Oklahoma woman dressed up, and she wore a hat for her Zoom church meetings, 52 weeks in a row, during this terrible pandemic. Bloom where you are planted, right? We don’t always have a lot of control about what goes on all around us, but as we weather our storms, we do have a choice to do it in style and flair, and in hope.

https://www.washingtonpost.com/lifestyle/2021/03/31/sunday-virtual-church-outfit/

Stylish woman dresses up for Zoom church every Sunday

Are you passing on love or are you passing on pain? Heal your pain and pass on love.

Little Spark of Friday

Good morning, friends and readers! Happy Friday!!! Happy Favorite Things Friday!! On Fridays, I forget about delving deep, and instead, I list three favorite things, or songs, or websites, or whatevers, that have added some zest to my everyday life. I strongly encourage you to add your favorites to my Comments section. Isn’t life wonderful when we have a lot of wonderful things to experience and to enjoy and to celebrate?

Jeff Allen, comedian – I’ve been a little under the weather the last few days. (It’s nothing serious, don’t worry. I think that I’m just a little worn out from all of the atypical activity going on in my life, since about mid-April.) Anyway, I believe that laughter is the best medicine. So yesterday, I stayed in bed, and I watched comedians all day long. There are so many great comedians out there, but Jeff Allen makes me howl with laughter. He’s a clean comedian, and he is hysterical. (If you like to keep it clean with your comedy, check out any of the Dry Bar specials on YouTube.) If you need a big dose of laughter medicine, here’s a clip:

Evian Feed Your Mind Water – This is Evian water in a can! And yet the can is so sleek and elegant looking, you still know that you are drinking Evian. This mineral water is tasty, thirst quenching, zero calories and it is infused with both magnesium and zinc, which have been my go-to supplements since this whole COVID mess started. The Feed Your Mind collection features three different flavors of water. Splurge on this line of Evian. You won’t regret it.

Best Grilling Tip – I recently saw a clip on the internet about putting ice cubes in your burgers when you start grilling them, because it keeps the moisture all locked in and the meat is good and juicy, when it is ready to be eaten. It works! I even tried “the ice cube tip” on a tenderloin that I broiled in my oven and it still works!!! If you prefer not to break your teeth on your meat, get out your ice cube tray.

I hope that you have a lovely, enjoyable, awe-striking, yet comfortable and peaceful weekend, my friends!

Are you passing on love or are you passing on pain? Heal your pain and pass on love.

Good Times

There’s a stand-up comedian, Dusty Slay, whose catch phrase is “We’re having a good time.” He says that most comedians leave the overall atmosphere up to chance, or up to the critical opinions of others, by asking their audiences, “Are you having a good time?” Dusty decides just to manifest it. Throughout his set, he makes a point of throwing in the decisive statement, “We’re having a good time.” The way that Dusty says it sounds so reassuring and light, and it comes across like, “Chill out, man, we’re just having fun.” You can’t help but agree with him.

I’ve decided to keep Dusty’s friendly voice, with its catchy, southern twang, in the back of my mind, for times when things seem just too serious (or for when I make times too serious in my own mind, which is an unfortunate tendency of mine). I repeat to myself, “We’re having a good time.” I figure that even if it isn’t a particularly good time, I’ll at least get a giggle out of it. Like yesterday, when I was driving home from helping my youngest son move some of his stuff to a new apartment at his university, and then having to drive back home through the pouring rain, with a huge load of some of my son’s other stuff rolling around in the car, while the usual crazies on the slick highway, were weaving through 18 wheelers and oversized loads, as if it were an Olympic sport. I just repeated to myself, “We’re having a good time.” “Good times, we’re going for gold!” The statement makes me smile to myself, every time I think about it. I am sure that Dusty would be happy to let you use the phrase liberally, in your own life, too. “We’re having a good time.”

It’s Thursday. It’s summer. It’s late July. It’s hot. It’s humid. It’s bright. We’re alive. “We’re having a good time.”

Are you passing on love or are you passing on pain? Heal your pain and pass on love.

We All Fall Down

“We see these athletes do superhuman things. They are still just human.” – Adam Rippon (discussing Simone Biles, choosing to pull out of the Olympics gymnastics finals)

“As much as I’m disappointed, I know that when I step on the track I represent not only myself, I represent a community that has shown great support, great love … I apologize for the fact that I didn’t know how to control my emotions or deal with my emotions during that time.” She added, for her fans, “Don’t judge me. I’m human, I’m you. I just run a little faster.” – Sha’Carri Richardson, runner who was disqualified for the Olympics due to failing a test for marijuana in her system

“I know it might not make sense that someone who writes for a living, literally, could find herself so unable to say what needed to be said. But that’s the truth. I was wounded, & I waited too long.” – Best-selling Christian author Shauna Niequist, answering critics as to why it took her a long time to speak out about her father having to step down from a Chicago mega-church, due to many allegations of sexual improprieties

Shauna is human, too. We are all human. That doesn’t excuse or explain away our mistakes. Most of us ended up paying some sort of consequences for our mistakes. And the truth is, most of us are so much harder on our own selves than anyone else is, when we disappoint ourselves and we disappoint others, by not living up to the standards which we have created for ourselves. Mistakes are part of being human. Imperfections are part of being human. Falling down sometimes is part of being human. Not living up to our own, or to others’ expectations all of the time, is just one part of our being human.

Not being able to finish the Olympics, dashing the hopes of yourself and so many others, or not being able to even attend the Olympics and represent your country, due to an emotional slip-up, or being a wordsmith and yet not being able to find the right words to say about your father (and pastor) being publicly disgraced by his own egregious misdeeds, are all tough, “on display” events that most of us will never, ever, even come close to experiencing. The old saying goes, “The higher you climb, the harder you fall.” The most amazingly talented people among us, have put fear aside, to see how far they can climb with their passions and their abilities and their aspirations and their strengths and their powers, and we are so inspired by them. Yet we also put them on these gilded pedestals, as if they are emotionless statues of perfection. Still at the same time, how quick we are to judge these colossally talented people, and to deride them when they fall down from their great heights, and lie broken. We forgot that they were never statues. They are humans.

Perhaps it is easier for us to see wildly successful people as other-worldly superheroes. “I’m not that talented. I could never do that.” “He was born with all of that ability. It’s easy for him.” “She had a leg up. She’s naturally beautiful, or a genius, or from a rich family.” Schadenfreude is the German word for pleasure felt when someone else experiences misfortune. Don’t worry or be ashamed about having felt schadenfreude. Everyone has felt schadenfreude one time or another. It’s only human to do so. Sadly, we most often feel schadenfreude towards those who have roused us to our own great heights, by being amazing examples of all that humans are capable of doing and of being.

Perhaps what we are mostly upset about when someone doesn’t live up to “the hype”, is the very real reminder that we are all human, even those humans among us who seem more like other-worldly superhumans. Maybe that scares us or disappoints us about ourselves. Maybe when the mighty fall, we have to come to the realization that perhaps we ourselves are just too scared to test the heights of our own strengths and powers. When we see that someone is human, by having fallen down, we also realize that it was this very same human who did some incredibly amazing and difficult achievements, in the first place.

We will all fall down at times, and we will rise again. It’s the human in us. We all have our own unique abilities that we get inspired to explore, and to grow, and to hone, because of the others who have shown us the way, by making the utmost of their own special skills and talents and gifts. As humans, we have a choice, we can sneer at the fallen, or we can offer a hand of compassion, to pull them back up. Our deepest shared humanity is always inclined to extend a hand.

Are you passing on love or are you passing on pain? Heal your pain and pass on love.

Important to Repeat

Friends, I woke up this morning with a bad cold, which is utterly shocking. With all of this mask wearing and social distancing, I can’t tell you the last time that I have had a cold. I almost forgot what it feels like to be sick. For reminder’s sake, it’s yucky.

Also, this morning I woke up to the sad news that one of my favorite people/pups on Twitter, Rex Masters, lost his beloved sister to her death this morning. My heart aches for him, and I have never met, nor conversed with the man, in my life. I feel like Rex might be out there on my blog space, or a fellow fan of his might be out there because I wrote a blog post about him one time, over a year ago, and today somebody looked at it. Rex, I am so, so sorry for your loss. Here is the post that I wrote about Rex Masters, a while ago:

Me and Dog Named Rex

Are you passing on love or are you passing on pain? Heal your pain and pass on love.

Monday – Funday

Are you passing on love or are you passing on pain? Heal your pain and pass on love.

I love baloney. There are times in life that just call for a fried baloney sandwich. Facts. I grew up in Pittsburgh, PA. There is a famous restaurant there, that puts french fries and cole slaw on top of all of their sandwiches. I would always get the fried baloney version, topped with cheese and french fries and cole slaw. Heaven on bread. (Pittsburgh also perfected/invented? the steak salad, which is a giant pile of steak, french fries and loads of cheese, on top of some lettuce. By the time you finish the toppings, you never even get to the salad part, but at least you can say that you had “a salad” for dinner.)

Soul Sunday

Are you passing on love or are you passing on pain? Heal your pain and pass on love.

Good morning, readers. Sundays are devoted to poetry. Today I am devoted to being quiet and within myself. I hope that you find some time today, to listen to, and to be with just yourself. Sunday is the perfect day to commune with, and to connect to the deepest part of you. Here is my poem for today:

“The Safe”

I handed you your life back yesterday.

All in a tidy little safe.

It has your birth certificate.

It holds your baptism certificate.

It also contains your passport, your SSN card, and your draft card.

I decided to add the addresses of all those who have loved you,

since the day that you were born, maybe even before.

It has a two dollar bill from your late grandfather.

He thought that it would be neat for you to have it.

And some savings bonds from my late grandmother.

She thought that it would be wise for you to have them.

Oh, and the space in between all of the paper stuff,

that space holds the mighty force of my love,

so anytime that you open the tidy, little safe,

you will be instantly surrounded and shielded,

By the strongest, most powerful, wisest, most faithful and loyal,

Part of me. My love will surround you then, and forever.

As it always has, and it always will. My love surrounds you.

You are safe to be free.

Heart-Ached Flavored Gelato

Later today, I will board an airplane and I will head back to my own well-established, mature, and sometimes even a tad staid, “adult life.” I will be leaving our middle son at the starting gate of his own adult life. He will be living right in the heart of a major city, on the 27th floor of a skyscraper. This is something that I have never done in my life. My children are usually pretty adventurous and independent. They know themselves really well. This makes me swell with happiness and pride and even with some relief.

My husband didn’t sleep well in our hotel room last night. I slept like a log. I tend to process a lot of my feelings during an event, and even before a major rite of passage. I am good at anticipating how I will feel, and then marinating in my feelings, soaking in all of the feelings, – the good, the bad and the ugly. I think about my feelings. I talk about my feelings. I write about my feelings. I watch movies that relate to my feelings. I know, and I name each of my emotions, intimately and easily. I release my feelings openly and freely. It is how I better understand myself and my life.

On the other hand, my husband has more of a delayed reaction to even noticing that change is happening, but then I think that it “hits” him suddenly, and with force. I sense that all of his mixed feelings (pride, nostalgia, excitement, melancholy, his own sense of age and mortality, curiosity, loss, hope) are all hitting him now with a direct blunt force. He doesn’t admit that to me. My husband blames his restlessness and lower energy and inability to sleep deeply, on the gelato which we had for dessert last night.

I wish that I could chalk up all of my emotions that I am experiencing right now, to gelato. “Oh, this unleashing of yet another one of my most precious children, fully and freely into the pastures of the wild, wild world, without me trotting alongside, is almost complete. Why is it that my stomach is churning, my mind is buzzing, my eyes are all blurry, and my heart is aching? Oh, silly me! It must be the Dulce de Leche gelato that I ate last night. “Gelato” can be really, really hard and difficult to digest. It takes time.”

Are you passing on love or are you passing on pain? Heal your pain and pass on love.

Friday Favorites!

Hilarious Friday Memes That Perfectly Describe Your Feeling

Happy Favorite Things Friday! On Fridays (my favorite day of the week), I am a material girl. I list three favorites of mine, such as books, songs, websites, apps, etc. which make life so sensual and sweet. Please see previous Friday listings from more favorites and please share your favorites in my Comments section. Here are my favorites for today:

Front Walking Dog Harness – Our two male dogs are pullers when we walk them. I am pretty sure my arms are at least an inch longer now, than before we obtained these young, robust male dogs. These dog harnesses have the leash clip on the chest of your dog. I cannot believe what a big difference this makes! If your dog treats you like an inconsequential, lightweight dog sled, when you are walking your pup, then go to your Petco and pick up one of these lifesavers!

Unstable Unicorns – This strategy card game is hilarious, fun and a lot more complicated that it sounds. It’s one of those games that is hard to get into your groove at first, but once you figure it out, it is a terrific and amusing game to play with your family and friends. My daughter, who loves playing games more than any of us do, insisted that I add this as one of my favorite Friday items. We were all up way past our bedtimes last night, hooping and hollering, playing this entertaining and thought provoking game.

Favorite Good Idea – My daughter gave me this tip. I love that my kids are at the age where I am learning more from them, then they are from me. When shaving your bikini area, just use a little of your hair conditioner. You don’t need any special shaving cream, and conditioner makes for a smoother, less irritating shave versus utilizing traditional soap. Try it. You’re all set for the beach or pool now!!

Have a fantastic weekend, my friends!!!

Are you passing on love or are you passing on pain? Heal your pain and pass on love.

An Important Project

My husband and I were at an REO Speedwagon concert last night. It was awesome. I have to laugh, though. Lately, my concert experiences have been a little shocking. I look around at my fellow concert goers/band fans, and I am reminded of the story about when my husband’s grandmother moved into an assisted living facility. “Oh my, everyone’s so old here!” she said.

The band itself was ALIVE. They were rocking it, like nobody’s business. I think that if music people get past that crazy, drug-fueled, self-destructive stage that a lot them seem to go through, then musicians tend to age better than anyone I know. I am pretty certain that this probably has something to do with deeply loving what you do, and fully surrendering to, and engaging with your passions, as if your life depended on it.

On the subject of deep love, the last few weeks have been somewhat of an emotional roller coaster, for me. Big highs and big lows have been my experience, as of late. This week gets capped off with another baby “officially” leaving the nest for adulthood, when tomorrow, we take him to the city where he will be attending medical school. I told myself, at the beginning of this week, that my full focus was going to be on my own self-nurturing and care, just for this week. I made calls and I got all of my annual health appointments on the calendar. I received a wonderful and much-needed massage. And most importantly, I told myself that my thoughts were only going to be centered on myself, and my needs – just for this week.

Try that some time. (especially you mothering, nurturing types) If you watch your thoughts, you’d be shocked at how often your thoughts veer into lanes where they weren’t needed, nor invited to, and how these thoughts love to create problems that don’t even exist. I wish I had a dollar for every single time I had to shift my thoughts back to myself this week. I’d be able to book a ride on one of the billionaires’ space adventures, with all of that money.

Sometimes it is easier to distract ourselves with thinking about everyone else’s lives. We love our partners and our children and our extended family and our friends, so of course we think about everybody we love, a lot of the time. But a big part of loving everyone in our lives, is to love them with confidence and respect. It is knowing that they are capable of, and deserving of taking care of their own unique needs. One of the best ways to give our loved ones this magnanimous love, is to demonstrate it. I challenge you to steer your thoughts back to yourself and your self-care needs, just for today. Anytime that your mind wanders into worrying about, or looks to find ways to fix, or to control, or to change, or to “help” the important others in your life, decide to love them with a deep faith, and then quickly steer your thoughts back to yourself and your needs. Today, make your own self, your project of passion, and the object of your most loving nurturance and compassion.

She Believed She Could So She Did Bracelet -Women's Rose Gold Bangle | Positive quotes, Inspirational quotes, Words quotes

Are you passing on love or are you passing on pain? Heal your pain and pass on love.