I love new beginnings. Today feels so fresh and new. It is the first day of the month, and the first day of summer (in a calendar sense). Over the weekend, we did things like going to see a movie (at a theater!) and we ate at a couple of restaurants (inside, no masks). It feels so good to get reacquainted with “normal life” again. It is, perhaps, a hidden blessing which the pandemic brought to us. We get to experience all of our old stuff, like it is new, with a more wide-eyed and open-hearted appreciation for everything that before, at times, seemed dull and routine.
I am watching the latest Naomi Osaka story with a keen interest. I am trying to stay detached from having any strong opinions about the story. Naomi Osaka, a Japanese tennis player, is one of the best tennis players ever to play the game. She withdrew from the French Open, after she experienced quite a lot of pressure and fines and criticism, for choosing not to speak to the French media, which is considered an obligation of the players. (Sports is a big business, after all – as is, just about everything) Osaka cites being an introvert and suffering from depression, as her reasons for not wanting to speak with the press. She is putting the priority on her mental health, by choosing to withdraw from the French Open.
My daughter is a competitive tennis player. She has a lot natural talent and athleticism and she could have chosen to take her tennis experience to much higher level, if that was her goal. In sports, having the raw talent is a necessary component, but to really succeed at the highest levels, it requires a single-minded devotion to the sport. It takes a focus and a passion, that makes all decisions about anything in your life, always to be hinging on the highest and utmost priority of succeeding at your sport. (what to eat, when to sleep, how to fit in your schooling, spending money on trainers, conducting your relationships etc. etc.) It can often lead to a one-dimensional life. It is not for the faint of heart.
I’m 50, so I have, quite frankly, laughed at “the snowflake” jokes and the memes that say that our younger generations are “soft.” Each older generation thinks that we are so much “tougher” and wiser and more resilient than the generations that come after us. And that may be true, in some regards. We older people have a lot more experiences in life, under our belts, and the old adage, “What doesn’t kill you, makes you stronger”, often rings true. However, in my life’s experience, my strongest, bravest moments rarely came from “toughing out” something miserable. It did take bravery to hold on through negative, painful experiences, but it took even more bravery, to ask for help. The moments that I had to muster up my greatest courage, usually were the moments when I said to myself and to others, “I can’t endure this any longer. I don’t want to feel this misery anymore. I must be true to myself.” My bravest moments were times when I “bucked the system”, because the system no longer rang true to me – to the deepest part of myself. My most heroic moments in my life’s experience, have come from the times when I no longer cared what other people thought (sometimes masses of people), and I stayed clear on what was truly important to me. It takes a hell of a lot of gumption to be true to yourself. It is not for the faint of heart.
I have a deep sense that we are at a “new beginnings” stage in so many factions of our lives. There is a lot more vibrant re-considering of the status quo, going on, and perhaps because of social media, and so many more public news outlets, this questioning is being brazenly played out, on a world stage. In the case of Naomi Osaka, what some may see as a weak moment, may well be the most defining, brave moment of her life. It may be the most inspiring thing which she has ever done for herself, and for her fans. As I said in my opening sentence, “I love new beginnings.” I have learned to embrace them. New beginnings happen all of the time, every moment of every day. And they are good. They are what leads to a brave, new world.
Are you passing on love or are you passing on pain? Heal your pain and pass on love.
Kelly,
It is so true in what you are saying, staying the status quo, to ‘go along to get along’ sometimes can only last so long.
A number of years ago, my neighbor across the street died in a horrible rafting accident. He was locally well known and loved by many, many people. (Coincidently it was on Memorial Day weekend). His wife and sons were devastated! I never really was friends with his wife, but I started to make every excuse I could think of to run across the street to check in on her. Through that time, I saw a woman with two sons who took her situation and made it personally their’s. She consulted her sons on everything and made this time in their life as calm and as peaceful, respectful and reverent as possible. On the day of his funeral she wanted no one at her home. (People unfortunately came…) She said she just stayed in her room, she was sad, and she said, I needed to be sad alone.
Everything about her life after that was what she and her sons agreed upon. I know it was very hard, but I learned so much getting to be her friend and walking with her. I know she did things that people did not like. She was true to herself and her sons. At a very painful time for many, she bucked the system and it made an incredible difference in her life, and the lives of her sons. Gratefully, in mine too!
Joan, that is an incredibly inspiring story (despite the very sad circumstances)! You cannot trust yourself to take care of the people who you love, if you cannot trust yourself, to take care of you. Thank you for sharing.