As the final part of his undergraduate study, before he starts medical school in the fall, my son is shadowing a doctor this semester. The doctor he is working for is a physiatrist. A physiatrist is a medical doctor who works on reducing a patient’s pain, and then moving the patient towards full rehabilitation, of total health and function, after a major injury or illness. A physiatrist uses all sources of tools in the medical arsenal such as medications, physical therapy and other healing modalities. My son has been learning so much from this wonderful man, and we look forward to my son’s interesting stories from his internship, every single week.
On an aside, my family loves to laugh. We crack a lot of jokes. My eldest son is very animated, expressive and self-deprecating. His imitations are hilarious. My youngest son is a natural clown and comedian. He has expressed the desire to give stand-up a go, more than once in his life. My daughter’s friends always tell her how much they love how funny she is, as anecdotes on her birthday cards and such. My middle son (the one working with the physiatrist) has a very dry sense of humor. He is more often the instigator, the one to get the more rowdy others around him going, and then sitting back, and enjoying the mayhem. So, one of my favorite things in life, is watching my middle son tell a story, without even realizing that the way he is telling the story is quite amusing, and then, everybody getting a big laugh out of the story. This roar of laughter and amusement always seems to take my middle son by surprise, realizing that his story is so enjoyable, and he gets this cute, little boy, slightly embarrassed grin on him. His big, brown eyes sparkle, and it is like seeing a glimpse of my adorable, mischievous, little three-year-old baby boy again. Our children don’t realize how many versions of them that we hold and that we safekeep in our minds, and in our hearts. They have only known us as adults, but we get to experience their blossoming and progression, from the very start.
Getting back on track to my story (please forgive my sentimental rambling): This week’s lesson from my middle son’s work with the physiatrist was “the magic wand” lesson. The patient who needed “the magic wand”, had come to the physiatrist for help. This patient was a tad “scattered.” He had many, many stories of many, many horrific accidents and harrowing incidents, from throughout his whole life. His companion was his elderly mother, who sat patiently, nodding her head beside her son, only occasionally adding, “Yep, that’s true. Umm-hmm,” to each of his accountings of all of the unimaginable incidents and ordeals in his life that had lead up to his debilitating physical pain, which seemed to be in every part of his body. In short, he was an interesting, but longwinded character, who was emanating pain, all over and needed some relief. My middle son says that the physiatrist says that these are the types of patients who you must help to focus. With these patients you must ask the question, “If I had a magic wand and could fix just one element of your pain, what would I fix?” My son said that the patient looked instantly relieved and relaxed, and pointed to one spot on his lower back.
After hearing the “magic wand” lesson, I thought to myself how helpful that question can be for any of us, at any time, and it doesn’t have to be related to physical pain. What about those days in life when you feel like you have 800 things going on at once and you don’t even know where to start? If I had a magic wand, and I could have just one of these tasks completed, which task would it be? This magic wand question/trick immediately helps you to calm your mind, and to focus in on your highest priorities and values. What about times in your life where you feel you could use some self-improvement, with healthier habits, in order to lose weight or to have more energy? A lot of times we get so overwhelmed with everything that we think that we have to do, and change, and improve in our lives, that we tend to get frustrated, and then, we end up giving up on all of it. If I had a magic wand and I could just change just one element of my daily habits, what would that be? This question really helps to hone in on what is really the most pressing and urgent, out of all our concerns. And once we have mastered and healed the particular area of our life, and of our health, and of our daily chores and routines, that the magic wand has helped point us to, we can use the trick again, to point us towards our next priority. Perhaps, magic wands are not pretend after all. Perhaps, magic wands are really quite magical, indeed.
Are you passing on love, or are you passing on pain? Heal your pain and pass on love.