Month: November 2020

TY Vets

Veterans Day 2020 free meals, deals: Dunkin', Starbucks, Denny's, more

I am in a beautiful part of a beautiful country right now. I took a peaceful morning walk, in wooded bliss, with our three dogs who seem to think that they have died and gone to doggy heaven. I walked along a lush carpet of wet, colored leaves with my bare feet, something that I haven’t done in a long, long time. I feel utter peace and awe right now. It is not lost on me that I am able to do this, in part, because of the selflessness of brave men and brave women who have served, and some of them have even given their lives, in order to protect the freedoms of our great nation. I greatly respect and honor all of you. I am in total gratitude to all of you who have served the United States of America. You are our blessing. I extend a special shout out to my grandfathers, my father, my father-in-law, my sister-in-law, my uncle and my cousin who have all served in our steadfast military. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.

Quotidian

Quotidian – ordinary, every day, common, conventional, unexceptional, commonplace, mainstream, nondescript, characterless, colorless, pedestrian, uninspiring, garden variety.

Due to the coronavirus (and my chosen response to the coronavirus), my every day life, perhaps, could be described as quotidian. I have tried to spice things up by bringing a third dog into the raucous mix. I have invited drama into our lives by allowing our sons to go back to college. I’ve conjured up old, barnacled ghosts, by bringing the thrills and perils of boating back into my life. I have read many new books, and I have spent much time walking and thinking and ruminating on life’s mysteries. Still, I am honestly at a point of restlessness in the ho-hum doldrums and tedious mundanity, of my every day life. Thus, I have created a road trip for myself, to a destination unknown to me, and to my family. I always get jittery and excited before trips, and I am fortunate enough to have explored some truly fabulous places in this world, but the level of excitement that I feel right now is unexplainable. You know that you need a change of scenery, when the idea of another day in your own company, makes you want to throw up, and to make excuses to not meet up at the mirror. In the words of “The Boss”, Bruce Springsteen, “I’m just tired and bored with myself.” I need a revived version of myself to keep me interested. Trips have a way of waking up my creativity, and of reminding me about the dusty corners of myself that I had long forgotten existed. Of course, the trip planned is to a remote place of limited habitation (thanks again to the coronavirus), but still, places of limited habitation are typically full of rare and beautiful and wild species rarely seen in quotidian life. I plan to fully immerse in the delightful, untamed energy of it all and to report back to you daily, hopefully in a more lively, un-quotidian style.

253 Inspirational Travel Quotes From REAL Travellers To Fuel Your Wanderlust | Bel Around The World

Monday Fun-Day

~repinning because all of my older lady friends at work tell me this... it comes with age!

Sadly, I think that this was really me, most of my life. I just worry about it less now. Monday, Fun-Day friends!! According to scientists, play is important for adults because it helps to relieve stress, it helps to improve brain function, play stimulates creativity, it is good for relationships and finally, playing keeps you feeling young and energetic. Don’t forget to add some play into your day!!

Soul Sunday

Good morning, my beloved friends and readers. My regular readers know that Sundays are devoted to poetry here at Adulting – Second Half. Please write a poem today. I would love it if you would share your poem in my Comments section, but even if you just share it with yourself, you will feel such movement and release in your heart. Poetry is the song of the soul. Here is my poem for today:

The White Rose

I noticed you huddled on the shores.

We had anchored the boat and we were quietly floating,

So softly, it was like we had melted into the rhythm,

Of the steady wind and lapping waves and passing clouds.

He was fishing, my own thoughts were meandering,

As I sat silently and deliberately,

Watching all of you as an uninvited and un-noticed observer.

You embraced each other.

Some of you kept your heads hung,

Too heavy to lift,

From your hurting hearts.

Some of you seemed eager to leave,

Uncomfortable with the feelings, brimming in the moment.

Yet others were obviously lingering,

Feet solidly sunk into the slushy sand,

Not wanting to say good-bye.

After a while, the shore was emptied and slowly flowing to the boat,

Came a parade of beautiful, brightly colored roses.

Celebrations of a life, colorful collaborations,

Streaming easily on the surface of the lapping water.

I picked up a white rose that floated right next to the boat.

It felt uncomfortable, like perhaps a desecration.

But I wanted to feel the essence of, and to honor the soul,

That had so easily come my way, inviting me into the ceremony.

I thanked you for the love which you had so obviously,

Created and shared and multiplied, into this world.

You were clearly missed. You were totally loved.

Next, I slowly and deliberately, placed each white petal,

Back into the sea. One by one, by one, by one. . . .

Tears for a beautiful life that merged with the water,

And softly floated towards the light of the horizon.

The Best Games

When my four children were younger, they all played a lot of different sports on a lot of different teams. We spent most of our weekends traveling from one sporting event, to another. My second son, in particular, was devoted to soccer, so we understand the ins and outs of travel soccer, extremely well.

It occurred to me this week, that I never really enjoyed “blow out” games. We often would wake up early in the morning and travel several hours and sit in the blazing sun, for the enjoyment of watching young men and young women really hone their skills, and to play at highly competitive levels. Blow out games offered nothing to either team and their players, nor to the bystanders watching the games. In blow out games, one team was completely humiliated and annihilated, and the winning team was not even challenged at all. These blow out games never allowed for anyone on either team to really grow and to become better and to learn from one another. These games often felt pointless and discouraging and embarrassing. One team often got overinflated in their perceived greatness, and yet disappointed, like the deflating feeling of getting a trophy, for just participating. The defeated team often got too discouraged and they sometimes lost their vision and drive for future improvement.

On the other hand, when two teams played, who were highly matched in skills and talent, the games were always close. The endings of these games were always nail-biters. Both teams had a excellent chance to win the game, and they put everything they had into winning it. Despite the stress, and sometimes even when being a fan of the team that ended up losing, these close games were the best kinds of games for the kids to play in, and for the people to watch. All of the team members from both teams, usually (even if just in secret) had great respect for each other, and for each other’s abilities. The players knew they had played other players who were excellent, and devoted players, and who were just as eager and fervent to excel and to win. Each player, at each position, brought out the best of their opponent, and they all became better players for challenging each other to play at the highest level of the game. Sometimes fights broke out during these tense games. Sometimes there were calls for cheating and rough play because the energy of the game was so cutthroat. Still, in their respective huddles, the teams appreciated the stealth and the abilities of their opponents. They knew that by playing the opposing team, in a hard won battle, they had become better players themselves, and they were grateful for the opportunity to grow and to improve. Often the players would learn techniques and strategies from each other’s plays, and utilize those techniques in their future competitions. There is no doubt, in my mind, that the hardest won games, the games that came down to the very wire, were the best for everyone involved (despite my shot nerves and quickly beating heart). I never doubted this fact, even during those tough times, when I had to cheer up my own defeated and discouraged player, on the long ride home.

“I’ve failed over and over again in my life. And that is why I succeed.” – Michael Jordan

“Do you know what my favorite part of the game is? The opportunity to play.” -Mike Singletary

Sports are a microcosm of society. - Billie Jean King

I Vote for Friday

it's friday quotes with pictures | Thank God Its Friday Quotes Funny

Hi Friends! My regular readers know that I keep Fridays on the light side. On Fridays, here at Adulting – Second Half. I typically list three favorites of mine in “the material world” like products, foods, songs, movies, etc. I strongly encourage you to add your favorites, in my Comments section. Please also check out my previous Friday posts for more favorites. A little dose of a favorite something or other, is sure to cheer anyone up during this somewhat stressful and suspenseful week. Here are my favorites for today:

Tully and Young Adult – I think that Charlize Theron is a brilliant actress. These two movies are more obscure than some of her more blockbuster films. Still, I have seen each movie more than once and I get a little bit more from them, each time I have seen them. If you are looking for something a little off the beaten path for viewing pleasure, I highly recommend both of these films.

OPI’s In The Cable Car-Pool Lane nail polish (where do they come up with these names?!) This nail polish shade is the perfect fall purple. It is a beautiful plum shade, that’s not too bright, yet not too dark. It complements other fall colors like oranges and dark greens, just perfectly! Rarely, do I use the same color twice in a row with fresh pedicures, but this nail polish is worthy of “twice in a row” status.

The Last Kingdom – Our eldest son turned us on to this Netflix show. Imagine Game of Thrones without dragons. This historical fiction piece, about the early years of a developing England, is a very interesting and enthralling watch. As with all of these types of shows with castles and warriors, expect some gruesome violence, but still, the story line is fascinating. This show keeps you easily intrigued and willing to stay up an extra hour to watch “just one more episode.”

Keep the faith, this weekend, friends! Believe in the best of yourself, believe in the best of your families, your friends and your neighbors, and believe that loving beyond imagine, everlasting Powers, far, far greater powers than any one political office, have all of us, loved and cared for, on a much higher plane than we can see, from our limited and clouded viewpoints. There is a Master Plan. And it is a Good One.

“Somewhere inside of all of us is the power to change the world.” – Roald Dahl

“The most important office, and the one which all of us can and should fill, is that of private citizen.” – Louis Brandeis

Purgatory

It’s interesting to me that two of my older blog posts which I have written are trending these days: “Embrace The Suck” and “Angry Tears”. I hope that they are helpful, in some way.

Purgatory. I’m not a Catholic, so I had to look it up. Purgatory comes from a Latin word which means “to cleanse”. (also the word “purge” comes from this root) Purgatory is thought to be that place between Heaven and Hell, where sinners go to get punished for, and yet also cleansed and released of their sins. I understand that Purgatory is believed to be the place where sinners go, where there is still hope for their redemption. It is thought to be the place where sinners are scrubbed of their sins before ascending into Heaven. Not to be disrespectful, but it seems to be sort of a Divine Waiting Room or a minimum security prison devoted to short sentences and rehabilitation.

Purgatory is a tough concept. But it is hopeful. It is seen as a cleansing process and a purification. All is not lost in Purgatory. Patience and trust are lessons to be gleaned in a state of Purgatory. When you are in Purgatory, the expectation is that Heaven awaits and it is right around the corner. While you are in Purgatory, you have been assured that you have been chosen for a good fate in the future, by the Divine.

“Purgatory is hell with hope.” – Philip Jose Farmer

“Heaven is purpose, principle, and people. Purgatory is paper and procedure. Hell is rules and regulations.” – Dee Hock

“If I have to spend time in purgatory before going to one place or the other, I guess I’ll be all right as long as there’s a lending library. “- Stephen King

Simple Truth

“Simply put, there are 10 things to do regularly to increase your resistance to stress: Get enough sleep. Eat right. Exercise often. Dress for the weather. Express yourself. Practice daily pleasure. Look for the good. Cultivate a support system. Love them. Let them love you back.” – Holiday Mathis

Last night as we were finishing up a delicious, nutritious dinner, I nonchalantly asked my husband if our daughter had texted us that she had made it to her tennis lesson. Out of all four of our children, my daughter has always been the best about texting us about reaching her various destinations safely. We even complimented her on that fact, before she left for tennis. It was about a half hour after the lesson would have started, when we realized that she had not texted us. I called my daughter’s phone which went straight to voicemail. I waited a few minutes and called it again. Once again, it went straight to voicemail. I called her instructor. No answer. I made a few more increasingly desperate calls vacillating between my daughter’s phone and her coach’s phone. With no answers from either, I could feel my hysteria rising. Without much notice to my husband, I jumped into my car and I headed up to the location where my daughter takes tennis lessons, about 20 minutes away. Rides like these, feel like they are dragging out into eternity. Patience and calm have never been my higher virtues. I was madly angry at every single driver in the cars in front of me, for actually following the rules of the road and for driving slowly and safely. I was incredibly relieved to see no accidents or police lights shining from the sides of the road, as I frantically scanned the areas surrounding me. My husband remained at home, but stayed on the phone with me for the entire ride, to calm my nerves and to remind me to drive safely. We noticed that the tracking app he shares with her was disabled for some reason. We talked to each other about the fact that even the most responsible teenagers forget to text sometimes. We reassured each other that our daughter most likely was fine, and she probably just didn’t hear her phone ringing from the courts. I felt tears choking up in the back of my throat as I drove like a madwoman to the courts. I prayed out loud. My convertible top was down, so I felt my prayers being carried into the wind. When I finally came to the long windy drive to take me to the tennis courts, I saw my daughter’s car. I saw her doing “her thing”, out on the courts.

“Is that your mom?!” I heard one of her fellow teammates say. (I’m guessing I had a slightly crazed look on my face and my hair does get a bit of a manic look when the convertible top is down. Retrospectively, I am seeing myself resembling Disney’s Cruella Devil, at this particular moment)

“Why didn’t you text us?!” I tensely, (but still trying to stay under control), low-key screamed to her.

“I did,” she said as she scrambled to look at her phone. “On crap, it says ‘failed to send’ “, sorry, Mom!”

Her instructor said that she had been avoiding the calls, because the tennis instructor didn’t recognize my number, and she had been bombarded with election calls that she had learned to ignore. She apologized profusely.

I breathed out one of the longest held-in breaths which I’ve had in a long, long while, I wiped my eyes and I carefully and slowly drove home to my husband’s waiting arms. Last night, when my daughter came home from her lesson, I gave her an especially long hug and a kiss goodnight. I didn’t want to let go.

Moral of the story: No matter what, it’s all going to be okay. We know how to take care of ourselves. We know how to take care of each other. Rarely is anything as bad as it seems. Just breathe. Follow the ten simple commands above, and we will do fine with anything that life throws at us. Life is mostly good. The odds are in our favor. This is true. Relax and breathe.

Break Up

Happy Election Day! Thankfully, I feel mostly detached and curious, more than anything. When I was in college, an American Politics professor of mine said something that really stuck out to me, and I never forgot it. He said, people spend way too much handwringing about national politicians, when it is your local politicians who really affect your every day life the most. Fortunately, for me, I don’t have a problem with my local politicians. I do wish safety, comfort, ease and hope for all of you, my beloved readers, no matter what your political leanings may be.

Today, one of my horoscopes told me to “break up with my image.” I think that is something which I have been doing for a while now, in this middle stage of my life. First of all, I am not even sure what my “image” is, to begin with. It’s always interesting and fascinating to me, when other people have ideas about you, and you think to yourself, “Wow, that’s not really “me” at all. That is the image I am projecting?!?” Still, I think that “Break up with your image,” is a good command to think about. Do I do things to keep up with “an image” or am I always true to myself? Do I have different “images” when I am with different people? Do I care too much about what other people think? Is my image more about other people’s projections on to me, than actually anything to do with the “real me”? Do I have a such a clear sense of self, that the word “image” almost becomes meaningless? It really is a good thing to ponder about and to meditate on, if one has the time and inclination to do it. You get a lot from reading your horoscopes, even if you think it’s all phooey.

Back to today’s matters, no matter what happens in the elections, life goes on. We are all going to be okay. I read this mantra the other day, and I liked it so well, I wrote it on a fancy piece of paper and I put it right in front on my computer where I write every day:

I CHOOSE TO MAKE THE REST OF MY LIFE, THE BEST OF MY LIFE

The choice is ours to execute the mantra stated above. The only life which we really have any kind of real meaningful voting power on, with almost every single choice ever made, is our own lives. As I oft repeat to my children, “An excellent life is made from a series of good decisions.” Choose well, my friends. Your life is precious. Make sure that it is in good hands.

Monday Fun-Day

Image

When our three sons were little, they were only allowed to use one bathroom, in the far, far corner of the house. Friends, we are going to need a lot of laughs this week! Whenever I ask my Mood Meter app to help me shift my mood, the two responses I almost always get are 1. Think of your favorite joke, and 2. Smile for one full minute. Surprisingly, these words of advice work better than you would think. At the very least, we have an interesting and lively week ahead of us. That says a lot for a year in which a lot of us would describe as somewhat boring and subdued. Let the games begin!! May the odds be ever in your favor!