Warning: This scene requires a very accessible box of tissues. I don’t watch the TV show “New Amsterdam”, but this scene was recommended for me to watch, by a friend. I was overwhelmed. I then passed it on to a group of friends. After watching the scene, we kind of all spontaneously told each other why we loved each other, and we all talked about things/traits/characteristics that had NOTHING to do with what we do for each other. It was a poignant, vulnerable, yet amazingly wonderful, beautiful time in our friendships’ history.
Too often we all think that we have worth in other people’s eyes, only for what we do (or can do) for them. We think we only have value for what we can provide for other people and thus, we get all of our self-worth externally, which is so unhealthy. Think about it. Often what we love most about the other important people in our lives, are their quirks, their unique personality traits that make them shine, their talents, their way they go about “doing life” that is so very particular to that one individual, yet so inspiring to the rest of us. We love and appreciate the kindness and the vulnerability that the people who we love show to us, by sharing their very real, core selves with us.
On our girls’ weekend, a few weeks ago, one of my friends said something to the effect that she has NO idea what her friends think of her. At the moment, no one was in a sappy mood, so the comment probably got met with some snarky, clever sarcasm and we all probably got a big laugh out of it all. Still, the truth is, it is so much easier to poke fun at our friends and loved ones, than to bare our souls, and to bravely tell them, honestly, why they are so incredibly special to us. But maybe, just maybe, the people whom we love, deserve to hear that lovely truth about themselves every once in a while. It would make me sad to think that my husband, my children, my relatives and my friends (and even my pets) would think that I only love them for what they do for me.
When I was a third grader, I had an incredibly kind teacher. She’s one of those teachers who will stand out to me, forever. She was a life-changer. Her name was Mrs. Simmerman. Every week, she would put one of our names on the Bulletin Board and throughout the week, we students would write anonymous, yet kind words and statements about what we thought was so special about that particular classmate. When the week was over, Mrs. Simmerman would read all of the kind, loving, interesting things written about the student and then, the student got to take home and to keep that particular poster, listing all the amazing traits about themselves. Whomever’s week it was to be focused on/loved on, seemed to have an extra spring in his or her step, and a little bit of a puffed out chest that week. Being cared about and being really noticed and seen and appreciated, made not just that particular student, but all of us students, very, very happy.
I think all of this mushy mush, is just a great reminder that we truly LOVE people for WHO they are, not just for what they do. We are all just unique enough to add a ray of life and color and thread, to this world which we are co-creating, that no one else even has the capability to match. We are all indispensable to the whole, and sometimes it is nice to be reminded why we are invaluable to this Life which we live, and we create together. As you think about why you love the people whom you love and you cherish, remember that they feel the very same way about you and your gifts to the world, in just you being, uniquely you.
Fortune for the Day – “When you possess light within, you see it externally.” – Anais Nin
