Our “Heroes”

RIP – Kobe Bryant, Gianna Bryant and the seven others who died tragically in yesterday’s fatal helicopter crash

The world is mourning a basketball icon. I have to admit that I am surprised by how much this news has affected me and my family members. We like basketball, but we are not rabid fans. We are not from Los Angeles. While Kobe Bryant was an unbelievably good basketball player and a decidedly devoted father, he was not without flaws. None of us are without flaws. I think sometimes that we desperately want to believe that there are the flawless someones, out there among us, and we turn our legends and our heroes and our icons and our celebrities, into what we want them to be, in our own minds, and then we are soul-crushed when they don’t live up to our expectations, and ultimately, when they do what we are all destined to do, and that is to die. It is especially hard when these idols suffer untimely, surprising, cruel, and shocking ends. This is the first time that I can remember that my children and my husband and I, are sharing that same surreal experience, of losing a shared cultural idol, suddenly. Other celebrities who have passed recently, have seemed to be a bigger part of my husband’s and my life’s experience, but this time, my kids are experiencing very clearly, their own sense of mortality, which always comes from these painful, public losses.

My husband and my daughter and I, went to go see the movie “1917” last night. It was a very good film. I was tense and empathetic throughout the entire viewing. After the movie, I do what I always do – I started looking up the history of the film. I wanted it to be “true.” Even more desperately, I wanted the lead character to be “real.” I wanted that character, who was so filled with integrity, courage, humility, valor, perseverance and loyalty, to be based on one very real, “flesh and blood” person. The character, it turns out was actually fictional, and the story of “1917” was loosely based on war stories told to Sam Mendes, (the writer of the film) by his grandfather.

Why do we need heroes and why are we so crestfallen when they prove to be humans, just like us? Could we really relate to a true, bullet-proof super hero? Would we really be able to comprehend a true and perfect super human, and do we really believe that they could fully empathize with us? Do we project the best parts of ourselves on to people who have genius levels of talent, drive, vision, creativity and authenticity? Do these people make us feel more hopeful and inspired, about ourselves and our own lives? Would this hope and inspiration be possible if these people were not in human form, just like us? The greatest religious teachers – Jesus, Buddha, the Dalai Lama, etc. came to this Earth to share their wisdom and love, in human form. They experience(d) amazing triumphs, and devastating pains, just as we do. And because of that, their teachings resonate to the deepest parts of our human hearts and our eternal souls. They are accessible to us.

I am not going to do a fortune today. I am going to end this post with some Kobe Bryant quotes which I think are pretty on-point. No matter what your thoughts (or lack of thoughts) are about Kobe Bryant, no one can deny that he lived his in-born passions to the fullest, and in that way, he served as a wonderful reminder that we can and we should, do the same with our own passions, especially if we want to elevate this human living experience for ourselves, and for others.

“Everything negative — pressure, challenges — is all an opportunity for me to rise.”

“Once you know what failure feels like, determination chases success.”

“When you make a choice and say, ‘Come hell or high water, I am going to be this,’ then you should not be surprised when you are that. It should not be something that is intoxicating or out of character because you have seen this moment for so long that … when that moment comes, of course it is here because it has been here the whole time, because it has been [in your mind] the whole time.”

“The most important thing is to try and inspire people so that they can be great at whatever they want to do.”